blackbear
Member Since: 04/09/13 Membership status: Member
Average Review Rating Given: starstarstarhalf-star


Reviews by blackbear
There are, in the world, things that transcend our understanding. Sometimes it is power that we have named. Other times it is ability we don't yet understand. Most often, it is something as common, and as miraculous, as love.

My first effort was a vignette of pain, anger and suffering. I needed to write it; but the truth is I am a romantic at heart. This is my first complete story length effort. I don't know if it speaks a truth, is erotic and tender...or if it's just long and boring. But, when I was done, I liked it. So up it goes.
Rated: Explicit 11 Reviews starstarstarstarhalf-star Completed Story Reads: 13935 Words: 13285 Chapters: 4 Table of Contents
Categories: Magical Gender Change
Characters: Male to Female, Young Adult (20-26 yrs)
Sexual Orientation: Becomes Only Attracted to Men
Story Theme: Coming of Age, Romance
Type of Change: Fast/Instant Change
Series: None
Published: 04/09/13
Updated: 04/09/13
Reviewer: blackbear Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 04/09/13 Title: Chapter 1: Prologue

Holy shit.

This is amazing. I created an account simply to tell you this. This is so utterly well written I was lost in it.

Author's Response: Oh my goodness! That kind of praise is something I never even hoped for in my wildest dreams. Thank you Bear. You have made me cry!

Dave is a handsome guy and his girlfriend just doesn't live up to his friend Corey's expectations. One night out to the bar and a little persuasion lead to a life-changing revelation, his soon-to-be ex-girlfriend is a twisted witch.
Rated: Explicit 15 Reviews starstarstarstarstar Completed Story Reads: 40393 Words: 6224 Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Categories: Magical Gender Change
Characters: Male to Female, Young Adult (20-26 yrs)
Turned Into: Bimbo, Bride, Girlfriend, Mother, Slave, Wife
Featured Items: High Heels, Lingerie, Long Nails
Locale: Family Household
Body Modification: Ears Pierced, Extreme Breast Enlargement, Lips Plumped, Permanent Cosmetics, Permanent Hair/Skin/Nail Change
Motivation for Change: Curse, Female Domination, Forced, Revenge
Personality: Loses Identity
Sexual Orientation: Does Not Change
Story Theme: Pregnancy, Romance, Witchcraft
Type of Change: Fast/Instant Change, Mind Control, Stuck
Series: None
Published: 07/16/13
Updated: 07/16/13
Reviewer: blackbear Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 07/24/14 Title: Chapter 1: . . .

I just gotta say, this is one of my favorite stand alone pieces.

Honestly, I'm a huge fan of all of your work; you're easily my favorite author. Your characters actually act in a believable manner, and you seem like a writer who actually understands how people would react in such crazy situations. For some reason, practically nobody else gets this. It's always some version of "oh no I'm a girl my life is completely and utterly changed, better go shopping and fuck some dudes lol," which is really, really annoying.

I hope you pump out some more of these shorts in the near future. You really have a talent for this. And believe me, I have sorta high standards on this stuff lol. btw, you should consolidate all your fiction stories on this website. It's by far the most well designed and it really should be the go-to place. Everything else seems like it was made in the 80's or something.

Author's Response: Well thank you so much for that. I suppose I have an understanding of "the other side" that most people don't. Not that it really qualifies me for anything, because I probably deviate as far as you can go from social expectations. I am working on editing my other story and bringing it over eventually. I'll have other writings out relatively soon. They'll be more like this and less like something people can get attached to. :)

My life was perfect. I had a beautiful girlfriend, friends, a great life. Then that day decided to rear it's ugly face.
Rated: Deviant 54 Reviews starstarstarstarhalf-star Completed Story Reads: 196664 Words: 85605 Chapters: 33 Table of Contents
Categories: Sci-Fi Gender Change
Characters: Male to Female, Teen (13-19 yrs)
Turned Into: Cheerleader, Girlfriend
Featured Items: Bikinis, Corsets, High Heels, Lingerie
Locale: Family Household, High School
Body Modification: Ears Pierced
Motivation for Change: Accident
Personality: Fights Change
Sexual Orientation: Becomes Only Attracted to Men
Story Theme: Everyday Living
Warnings: Incest, Non-Consentual Sex
Series: None
Published: 09/21/13
Updated: 10/19/15
Reviewer: blackbear Signed starstar
Date: 04/21/14 Title: Chapter 1: The day my life took a vacation

I was sort of into this at first but honestly, this story just isn't for me.

Moves WAY too fast. It seems like I'll miss one sentence in the middle of a paragraph and suddenly a month has passed in-story. There's not enough physical descriptions, there are so many characters and names it's confusing, and although it's already been said, the lines upon lines of just dialogue with no names makes this almost unreadable.

Also some decisions don't really make sense... for example, Linda/Jack already tried to commit suicide twice and had pretty clearly stated she doesn't care about anything or anyone. She then is hit with the news that her rapist impregnated her, and she immediately refuses an abortion just... cause?

That doesn't make any sense at all. Your entire story before that set her up with the attitude of complete defiance. I'd expect her to be running to the abortion clinic. I'm realizing most stories on these kind of sites are very obviously pro-life, but still, that part was so out of character it completely took me out of the story.

Keep writing though and keep improving. Just my thoughts

Author's Response: I understand. Thanks for giving it a shot, at least!

what will it take to make the most of what we have?
Rated: Adult 14 Reviews starstarstarhalf-star Story Incomplete Reads: 15990 Words: 3563 Chapters: 4 Table of Contents
Reviewer: blackbear Signed star
Date: 11/22/13 Title: Chapter 1: prologue- where do i start?

This isn't a story, or even a chapter, this is a fragment of a paragraph. Why would you even upload this?

The description looks interesting and I'd like to see where it goes, but seriously dude come on

Author's Response: I typed that much and realized I had to leave, I didnt want to retype it so I uploaded. jessica

Nelson and his best friend Jason are stars of the football team; they have it all. Popularity, rich families, hot girlfriends... but all of that changes when they lose the biggest game of their life, and get a cursed laid upon them. Do they break the curse and turn back into boys before it's too late? Or do they fail to cure themselves, and stay girls forever? Read on and find out!
Rated: Adult 12 Reviews starstarstarstar Completed Story Reads: 83273 Words: 7495 Chapters: 12 Table of Contents
Categories: Magical Gender Change
Characters: Male to Female, Teen (13-19 yrs)
Turned Into: Cheerleader, Daughter
Locale: Family Household, High School
Motivation for Change: Curse
Personality: Bad to Good, Fights Change, From Dominant to Submissive, Is Unaware of Changes, Loses Identity
Sexual Orientation: Becomes Only Attracted to Men
Story Type: Comic
Type of Change: Slow/Gradual Change
Series: None
Published: 01/06/14
Updated: 01/06/14
Reviewer: blackbear Signed
Date: 01/07/14 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

I didn't rate this because it is unreadable.

Every time a new character speaks, start a new paragraph. No exceptions.

Otherwise from what I got from it, it seems like a good idea, you just need to SLOW DOWN. Describe things. Half of the joy of reading these stories are the descriptions dude! Give us sizes, thoughts, feelings

Author's Response: I fixed the structure; thanks for the suggestion! I'll also try to add more details.

when one middle school water fountain can give the drinker unlimited power what will he do with it
Rated: Adult 15 Reviews starstarhalf-star Completed Story Reads: 17930 Words: 498 Chapters: 2 Table of Contents
Categories: Magical Gender Change
Characters: Male to Female, Teen (13-19 yrs)
Turned Into: Bimbo, Girlfriend
Body Modification: Extreme Breast Enlargement, Permanent Hair/Skin/Nail Change
Motivation for Change: Curse
Sexual Orientation: Becomes Only Attracted to Men
Story Theme: Everyday Living, Genie/Wishes, Witchcraft
Type of Change: Fast/Instant Change, Stuck
Series: None
Published: 01/10/14
Updated: 01/14/14
Reviewer: blackbear Signed star
Date: 01/10/14 Title: Chapter 1: chapter 1 the beginning of the beginning

Well first off, there's no point in a "teaser" for a short story. No one cares that much, especially if it's your first and rather poorly written story. If your entire story is going to be written like this, then no, I don't want to see it.

You need to capitalize things. Grammar matters, dude. You need to actually describe things. Just because you can see it in your head doesn't mean we can. SHOW us what's going on, don't tell.

I only commented because I like the premise and I hope you can develop this further, but as of right now it's not that good.

**I saw one too many commercials for Nutrisystem one night and this is the result.**
Rated: Kid-Friendly 6 Reviews starstarstarstarhalf-star Completed Story Reads: 3891 Words: 1815 Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Categories: Sci-Fi Gender Change
Characters: Male to Female, Adult (27-62 yrs)
Turned Into: Adult
Locale: Family Household
Motivation for Change: Accident
Sexual Orientation: Does Not Change
Story Theme: Comedy, Everyday Living
Type of Change: Drug-Induced, Slow/Gradual Change
Series: None
Published: 03/08/14
Updated: 03/08/14
Reviewer: blackbear Signed starstarstarstar
Date: 03/08/14 Title: Chapter 1: The only chapter

I like it so far. Straight and to the point. I'd just say describe the actual changes more. You sort of gloss over them too much

Now to wait three months for the next chapter...

Author's Response: There is no next chapter, nor will there be.

a ten year old boy keeps a couple of younger girls from getting in trouble after they push him in the mud. and like the saying goes. No good deed goes un punished.
(read part 1 so the story makes more sense)
Rated: Adult 5 Reviews starstarstarhalf-star Story Incomplete Reads: 8208 Words: 3785 Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Categories: Sissy Story
Characters: Male to Female, Child (0-12 yrs)
Turned Into: Baby, Clothing
Featured Items: Diapers
Locale: Family Household
Motivation for Change: Female Domination, Forced
Story Theme: Babyhood, Humiliation
Type of Change: Age Regression
Series: None
Published: 03/09/14
Updated: 03/09/14
Reviewer: blackbear Signed
Date: 03/09/14 Title: Chapter 1: Part 2

I'm not reviewing anything, I'm just pointing out before this story takes off that there IS a chapter function on this site.

There's no reason to have 50+ individual chapters all sitting around as their own submission cluttering everything up.

A young boy is talked into getting his hair cut by his sister.
Rated: Adult 5 Reviews starstarstarstar Story Incomplete Reads: 8257 Words: 5524 Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Categories: Sci-Fi Gender Change
Characters: Male to Female, Child (0-12 yrs)
Turned Into: Sissy
Featured Items: Diapers
Locale: Family Household, Formal Dance
Motivation for Change: Accident, Tricked
Story Theme: Humiliation
Type of Change: Age Regression
Series: None
Published: 03/30/14
Updated: 03/30/14
Reviewer: blackbear Signed
Date: 03/31/14 Title: Chapter 1: Part 2

Dude, use the chapter function! Your stories are impossible to navigate with a million different chapters everywhere acting as a stand alone story

Two friends ascend a mountain, prepared for a difficult, yet rewarding journey. However, they could never have prepared for what ensued.
Rated: Adult 56 Reviews starstarstarstarhalf-star Completed Story Reads: 79248 Words: 15703 Chapters: 14 Table of Contents
Categories: Magical Gender Change
Characters: Female to Male, Young Adult (20-26 yrs), Male to Female, Young Adult (20-26 yrs)
Turned Into: Girlfriend
Locale: College, Road Trip
Motivation for Change: Accident, Curse, Undercover, Unknown, Willing or Voluntary
Sexual Orientation: Becomes Bisexual
Story Theme: Coming of Age, Everyday Living, Romance
Type of Change: Fast/Instant Change, Mechanical Device
Series: None
Published: 04/14/14
Updated: 07/17/16
Reviewer: blackbear Signed starstarstar
Date: 05/01/14 Title: Chapter 4: A Shocking Revelation

It's an all right story but I would be a LOT more engaged if I had any clue what these people looked like

Author's Response: I can see what you mean. Sometimes, I like stories that describe the characters to me, but other times I like ones that let me imagine what I think the characters look like. It's a bit of a trade off. I'll keep that in mind in future. Thanks a bunch for your review!

Brian is a closet crossdresser, he has just purchased his first pair of breast forms. Little does he know that this seemingly unimportant purchase will change his life forever.
Rated: Adult 14 Reviews starstarstarstarhalf-star Story Incomplete Reads: 14090 Words: 1480 Chapters: 2 Table of Contents
Categories: Magical Gender Change
Characters: Male to Female, Young Adult (20-26 yrs)
Featured Items: Breast Forms
Motivation for Change: Forced
Personality: Fights Change
Story Theme: Witchcraft
Series: None
Published: 05/31/14
Updated: 06/01/14
Reviewer: blackbear Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 06/02/14 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Love it. Please continue!

My only comment is I hope he becomes an attractive woman fully. It wouldn't be fair to make him only halfway, because anyone would curse their breasts in that scenario.

East City was enjoying a normal day, until several people awoke to find strange humanoid creatures telling them that they were "chosen"...
Rated: Adult 147 Reviews starstarstarstarstar Completed Story Reads: 76780 Words: 181322 Chapters: 44 Table of Contents
Reviewer: blackbear Signed star
Date: 06/01/14 Title: Chapter 1: Issue #1: Secret Origins, Part One

Eh... it's moving ridiculously fast. And not a whole lot is making sense. A kid has cobwebs filling his room, passes out multiple times after seeing some entity, gets turned into a girl, and his first thought is to sneak out to buy new clothes? wtf? That would be the last thing on anybody's mind in this situation.

And it seems like you totally glossed over the actual TG. The main character could have been replaced by a normal unaltered person and the bulk of the story wouldn't have felt out of place. The TG aspect seems like some tacked on extra that doesn't really matter. The lack of descriptions and new sensations makes it impossible to imagine what's going on.

Author's Response: I understand your misgivings, and trust me: most things will be explained later on. I'll address some of them here, however. 1.) the cobwebs were caused by Charlie herself, and were an element of her powers. Yes, she can create webbing on her own. 2.) She passed out because she saw the entity, then because she found out she was female, somehow neither of these two extremely strange, you-don't-see-'em-everyday things wouldn't induce fainting? I don't get that one at all. 3.) She sneaked out to think, not to buy clothes. She just mentioned needing to get new clothes 4.) Yes, I did gloss over Charlie's transformation. This will be explained later. 5.) Yeah, I did f*** up on the descriptions. That one's my bad. I'm hoping you don't just toss this story aside, however. Several of the things you want to see will come at a later time. Chapter 1 was pure set-up, to get into the meat of the story.

Reviewer: blackbear Signed
Date: 06/02/14 Title: Chapter 1: Issue #1: Secret Origins, Part One

No, what I meant was that this kid has all these magical and unexplainable events happening to him, and his first thought is to calmly decide that he needs new clothes.

Any normal kid would have a fairly long period of "what the fuck is happening to me" flip out moments before even thinking about needing new clothes. It makes the characters seem like robots. Half the appeal of TG stories are the reactions of characters in their new environments.

Author's Response: Rest assured, your concerns will be addressed. It just so happens that the segment I began writing last night addresses Chalie's lack of reactions. Believe me, it was planned.

A young student gets drastically altered by nanites and finds it hard to get used to his new body and his new life.
Rated: Explicit 26 Reviews starstarstarstarstar Story Incomplete Reads: 122854 Words: 68111 Chapters: 6 Table of Contents
Categories: Sci-Fi Gender Change
Characters: Male to Female, Young Adult (20-26 yrs)
Turned Into: Adult
Featured Items: Bikinis
Locale: College, Labratory
Body Modification: Extreme Breast Enlargement
Motivation for Change: Accident, Forced, Tricked
Personality: Fights Change
Sexual Orientation: Becomes Only Attracted to Men
Story Type: Includes Images
Story Theme: Everyday Living, Humiliation, Medical Experiment
Type of Change: Drug-Induced, Slow/Gradual Change, Stuck
Series: None
Published: 06/11/14
Updated: 06/24/14
Reviewer: blackbear Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 06/12/14 Title: Chapter 1: Day 1

I fucking love this story. Fan. Fucking. Tastic.

Just a few things:

- Paragraph spaces would make it so much easier to read.

- The erotic descriptions are great, but when a character says them, it sounds sort of weird. It seems like they're not taking the transition from male to female seriously. "lol just fuck guys, no big deal." They should be a bit more supportive. Joking is great, but not too much.

- Honestly though, you got it down for the most part. Keep it up yo

Reviewer: blackbear Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 06/12/14 Title: Chapter 1: Day 1

I forgot, I'd still love to see her try and cut her hair or get breast reduction surgery anyway. Even if it comes right back, it'd be hot as hell. Maybe they even start changing her clothes or giving her tattoos. Whatever is more attractive, they end up doing.

I just hope that even though she's a nympho, and craves sex, she still retains her resistant "male" original mind. Her just turning into some mindless slut who enjoys it all the time isn't as fun.

An alpha male with his whole life ahead of him angers a gypsy's grandson, and finds his new body and feelings, very difficult to handle. Despite herself, her anger blossoms into love, and lust
Rated: Explicit 11 Reviews starstarstarstarhalf-star Story Incomplete Reads: 31917 Words: 8413 Chapters: 4 Table of Contents
Reviewer: blackbear Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 11/03/14 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Fuck yeah. Looking great so far and I'm loving your prose. Plus the fact that she didn't start masturbating in the shower and immediately go clothes shopping already makes it better than most of the stories on this site.

Only thing I'd like more of is descriptions of Troy. I don't really know what she looks like besides "beautiful." And don't you dare give me that old "but I wanna be vague so the audience can use their imagination" cop out.

A man dies and is offered a deal; he may return to life but he will inhabit a body of a malevolent deity's choosing. He is dropped into a teenage girl's body, which he thinks isnt so bad, until he learns the hard way his new body is destined to be abducted and modified beyond his wildest wet dreams.
Rated: Explicit 114 Reviews starstarstarstarhalf-star Story Incomplete Reads: 577671 Words: 37863 Chapters: 27 Table of Contents
Reviewer: blackbear Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 02/11/15 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1: I died.

Basically, while someone would normally type "and I came harder than I ever had in my life," you make an entire paragraph of it. People always seem to gloss over what are basically the most important aspects of erotica, which are the descriptions, and you make a showcase of it. Not to mention the actual content of the descriptions and comparisons are just good.

Also, your people act like actual people. I can't even count how many times I've wanted to tear my hair out because the writer of a story doesn't seem to understand basic human interactions and create characters that are just stupid plot animals.

Keep it going. I love the twist of the doctor being killed and can't wait for more.

Author's Response: I totally agree with you, I'd been reading too many stories lately where the authors gloss over the juicy bits completely, its one of the reasons I wanted to write my own! As for your comment about the people, I was a bit worried the Doc might come across as 2-dimensional so I'm really happy thats not the case. Lori just does whatever I would do in her situation (hence all the bad decisions) Thank you so much for this type of analysis, I'm always flattered that people are enjoying my work on this level.

Reviewer: blackbear Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 01/31/15 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1: I died.

Fucking fantastic. There's only like, one story a month on this website that's worth reading (if that), so I guess you're my January.

My only advice is to not listen to any of these reviewers. You have a vision, it's fucking great, keep going.

Author's Response: Thanks so much for the.review, its awesome that so many people are.enjoying this, it really makes me want to keep writing! Is there a part that really stands out to you? Sorry im just always interested in feedback and.what parts people are.most into. Thanks for reading! Hope you stick around!

Jim is a loner and a pervert. When he gets a new sexy neighbour he is all too interested in her but she obviously isn't in him. Then Jim gets on her wrong foot and he undergoes some changes... and more changes.
Rated: Explicit 39 Reviews starstarstarstarhalf-star Story Incomplete Reads: 169818 Words: 12970 Chapters: 10 Table of Contents
Reviewer: blackbear Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 02/23/15 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1 - Jim's life

Loving it so far man. I love how you focus on the little details of being a girl, like being too short to reach the shelf, instead of completely glossing over them. Keep it up! Write more!

Author's Response: Thank you very much, it means a lot and will motivate me to write another chapter ASAP

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