TmC
My ever story was written in grade 11. The teacher said I copied it from a magazine and gave me zero for the project.*

I've been writing on and off since then. Except for this year which has been mostly on.

*My first story idea though, was about a guy being stalked by a door.
Member Since: 01/13/13 Membership status: Member
Average Review Rating Given:


Reviews by TmC
A tale of adventure and self discovery, follow along the journey of Geoffrey Scott, a teenager that is forced into a world of ghouls and ghosts. He discovers who he really is and takes part on a journey to save his love ones.
Rated: Adult 161 Reviews starstarstarstarhalf-star Story Incomplete Reads: 142844 Words: 296576 Chapters: 45 Table of Contents
Categories: Magical Gender Change
Characters: Male to Female, Teen (13-19 yrs)
Turned Into: Daughter, Fantasy Character, Teenager
Locale: Family Household, High School, Space or Foreign Planet
Story Theme: Coming of Age, Horror, Mythical Setting
Type of Change: Fast/Instant Change
Warnings: Death
Series: None
Published: 08/12/13
Updated: 07/04/18
Reviewer: TmC Signed
Date: 05/29/15 Title: Chapter 1: Part 1; Chapter 1. The End of a Lifetime.

This guy is awesome. Makes me wonder why he's such a loser. I like this! Good job.

Reviewer: TmC Signed
Date: 05/29/15 Title: Chapter 2: Part 1; Chapter 2. Here, There and Everywhere

He seems to be taking being killed by an ice ghost from another dimension using poisoned yogurt rather well. (that is what happened right?)

Author's Response: Thank you, and I can't wait to hear your opinion on each chapter of my story. And you are the first one to mention the yogurt thing :). Whatever, regarding Geoff's reaction towards being dead, I promise I did the best I could for that "era" for my writing. As you'll be able to notice (if you continue reading the story) my writing will improve as each chapter goes. I'm not excusing myself, but to be fair I only had one month of experience. (*Cute Snarf voice* Don't judge me Mr. Critic). So I hope you like what you'll see, and maybe get hooked by it.

Reviewer: TmC Signed
Date: 05/30/15 Title: Chapter 4: Part 1; Chapter 4: The Long and Winding Road

Geez. She sure get knocked out alot.

Reviewer: TmC Signed
Date: 05/30/15 Title: Chapter 4: Part 1; Chapter 4: The Long and Winding Road

Geez. She sure get knocked out alot.

Reviewer: TmC Signed
Date: 05/31/15 Title: Chapter 9: Part 1; Chapter 9: Bring It On Home

I was laughing out loud through most of this. Especially this part.

"What would she do with an innocent rabbit?
Kill it so she could ride and army of rabbits to
battle?"

A young man, his younger brother and his mother move to a new town to be live near their family, and he ends up with far more than the thought he ever would.
Rated: Adult 7 Reviews starstarstarstarhalf-star Completed Story Reads: 69323 Words: 23734 Chapters: 12 Table of Contents
Reviewer: TmC Signed
Date: 11/25/14 Title: Chapter 1: "So, You're Kara, Now?"

Only just discovered this. It's great. Are you taking orders on those walking toasters? If not, I'll have to make due with strapping a toaster to a roomba with some duct tape. I'll need an extension cord too.

Cat girls appear and start spreading like a virus.
Rated: Adult 27 Reviews starstarstarstarhalf-star Completed Story Reads: 50893 Words: 40199 Chapters: 14 Table of Contents
Categories: Sci-Fi Gender Change
Characters: Male to Female, Adult (27-62 yrs)
Turned Into: Adult, Daughter, Slave
Motivation for Change: Forced
Personality: Fights Change, Loses Identity
Series: Neko
Published: 01/04/14
Updated: 08/15/15
Reviewer: TmC Signed
Date: 08/15/15 Title: Chapter 14: Epilogue

I can't even remember how long It's been since I started this story on deviantart. I enjoyed it immensely, but the end left me unsatisfied for some reason.

Author's Response: Sorry you feel that way but there is a squeal coming as soon as I can get out of this damn slump.

Reviewer: TmC Signed
Date: 08/16/15 Title: Chapter 1: Prelude

Really? Great! I take it back then.

I can't help feel bad for all the neko's now that they're vulnerable. I feel like it won't end well for them.

Keep em coming please.

Jaux Ballad has always wanted to enter the realm of magic, but could not do so by regular means. In his desperation to become a magician he finds himself with more power, and more trouble, than he could ever have imagined.
Rated: Adult 354 Reviews starstarstarstarstar Story Incomplete Reads: 331980 Words: 97327 Chapters: 48 Table of Contents
Categories: Magical Gender Change
Characters: Male to Female, Teen (13-19 yrs)
Turned Into: Fantasy Character, Teenager
Featured Items: Corsets, Petticoat, Lace, Ruffles, Crinoline
Locale: Camp, College, Family Household
Motivation for Change: Accident, Curse
Personality: Fights Change
Sexual Orientation: Changes to be Bisexual
Story Theme: Historical Time Period, Mythical Setting, Witchcraft
Type of Change: Fast/Instant Change, Stuck
Warnings: Death, Intense Violence
Series: Vanasia Universe
Published: 02/22/14
Updated: 09/17/15
Reviewer: TmC Signed
Date: 12/23/14 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1: The Demon Root

Too short. Been waiting months for this to update. I couldn't believe it when I saw it. Need more.

A new villain is in town, and she aims to have some fun while getting even.
Rated: Explicit 12 Reviews starstarstarstarstar Story Incomplete Reads: 22286 Words: 12022 Chapters: 6 Table of Contents
Categories: Sci-Fi Gender Change
Characters: Male to Female, Adult (27-62 yrs), Male to Female, Young Adult (20-26 yrs)
Turned Into: Slave
Featured Items: Corsets, High Heels, Lingerie
Motivation for Change: As Justice for a Crime, Female Domination, Revenge
Personality: From Dominant to Submissive
Sexual Orientation: Does Not Change
Story Theme: Captive, Costume or Halloween, Fan Fiction, Medical Experiment
Warnings: Death
Series: Paragon Verse
Published: 02/27/14
Updated: 12/04/16
Reviewer: TmC Signed
Date: 06/05/16 Title: A Villain's Revenge and a Hero's Redemption

I love this. More please.

Author's Response: I'm working on it, I hope to have the full chapter out soon.

Gregor is a terrible magician. When trying to pass his final test to become a journeyman wizard, he blew up his masters house. Even worse he turned himself into a woman. Now on his own he has to break the curse while keeping his skin and virtue intact.
Rated: Adult 16 Reviews starstarstarstarstar Story Incomplete Reads: 36426 Words: 10138 Chapters: 8 Table of Contents
Reviewer: TmC Signed starstarstarstar
Date: 10/10/14 Title: Chapter 8: How Was I Suppose To Know?

I've been wondering. Did turning into a woman make Gregor a better mage?

Author's Response: Yes and no. Now that she really has to do things she's using her limited abilities at her best, but the potential was always there. It's like a person who is bad at school and tests, but is good in the real world.

During a visit to his grandparents house with his brother, Anthony went somewhere he shouldn't. Now the fae folk have taken him as their prize, changing him to suit their needs and their pleasure. Does he have the willpower, the strength, the courage to find himself again and escape?
Rated: Adult 111 Reviews starstarstarstarstar Story Incomplete Reads: 123638 Words: 55211 Chapters: 41 Table of Contents
Reviewer: TmC Signed
Date: 12/14/14 Title: Chapter 37: Agreed

That's was a desperate move. I can't wait to see how it turns out.

Author's Response: Big time. The future is going to be interesting.

Reviewer: TmC Signed
Date: 11/30/14 Title: Chapter 1: Part 1: Fire Bird

At this rate you'll finish in a week. Really enjoyed this chapter.

Reviewer: TmC Signed
Date: 11/30/14 Title: Chapter 1: Part 1: Fire Bird

At this rate you'll finish in a week. Really enjoyed this chapter.

Author's Response: Whats up with you and double posting recently? This will take at least two weeks, and I may have three parts to it. Still debating. After a slow start its really starting to come together again, and in about four chapters it's going to get insane again. Can't wait for that, then I can really cut loose and it will be so easy.

Reviewer: TmC Signed
Date: 11/30/14 Title: Chapter 1: Part 1: Fire Bird

Glad to see that this is back. I need a break from all your super heroes.

Also this comments section is a lot more diverse than in some of your other stories. I was starting to feel like a stalker since I was the only one commenting.

Author's Response: But I like my stalkers.

Reviewer: TmC Signed
Date: 11/30/14 Title: Chapter 1: Part 1: Fire Bird

It's the phone's fault. It even double posted my story. I had to delete one.

Author's Response: Please continue, you're racking up my reviews like crazy.

Reviewer: TmC Signed
Date: 11/30/14 Title: Chapter 1: Part 1: Fire Bird

Always glad to help. Also I forgot to mention that when you mention things getting insane, that's usually when you're characters start running for cover.

Author's Response: In this case the insanity will be good for her. The next four to six chapters are going to be hell.

Reviewer: TmC Signed
Date: 12/03/14 Title: Chapter 34: Power

I think this level is fine for now. Maybe a little more horror, but not that much. Just a smidgeon really.

Author's Response: Well its going to be upped no matter what. And after thinking about it overnight, and seeing the two reviews, I'm going to focus more on the psychological side. Really show just how warped abuse can make a person. Thanks.

Reviewer: TmC Signed
Date: 12/03/14 Title: Chapter 35: Power Struggles

Looks like she's gunning to be top potato. Or at least strong enough so that no one messes with her anymore. Which is essentially the same thing really.

Quick question, she won the duel against the Enyoy, and he said that he'd give her his sword. What happened to that? I was expecting her to be duel wielding the swords. Did they combine into one blade?

Author's Response: Yep the two became one. That's why it can heal her, gives her a rush of power and affects her body directly rather then asking her to open herself to it, and other things that she will learn about as time passes. And yeah she's looking to protect herself. If she has to beat everyone into submission and keep beating them so be it.

Reviewer: TmC Signed
Date: 12/05/14 Title: Chapter 36: Helpless

Planning? Psssh. When you give your characters a voice and a personality can you really be surprised if they use it?

(I'm actually at a loss for words, so I've nothing constructive to offer at the moment)

Author's Response: True enough. But I usually have an idea of where they're going. This time. Nope. And I'm rather glad you're at a loss for words, most of this story is about breaking the usual barriers without getting funny or gimmicky. Thanks

Reviewer: TmC Signed
Date: 12/14/14 Title: Chapter 38: Perfection

Well that was... Weird. She's channelling her inner cthulhu, maybe.

Author's Response: Imagine what it was like while I was writing it. I kind of forgot that an outside world existed by the end. Of course I have a good idea of whats going to happen now, this is just a little more extreme than I had originally planned.

Reviewer: TmC Signed
Date: 12/17/14 Title: Chapter 39: There Shall Be Death

So, what? She's like a satyr now or something? And she's a got pets. Creepy ones. : ).

I'm wondering how one becomes a fae. They don't exactly look like they're big on family. I mean I never saw some little baby fae crawling around (unless those are wisps).

Author's Response: I did describe her having hooves of moonlight, that were as flexible as her feet, razor sharp and edged with fire. And I don't know how the fae reproduce, but yeah, it seems that humans can be transformed at least halfway into a fae if given the right incentive.

Reviewer: TmC Signed
Date: 12/18/14 Title: Chapter 40: Sorrow

I was going to ask are these chapters getting smaller, but then I saw that that wasn't the case. I realised it was actually me wanting more of this.

Author's Response: I was actually thinking the same thing, but I'm pretty careful keeping them over 1K. This story just seems to be better in smaller pieces, more like a dream than a regular story.

Reviewer: TmC Signed
Date: 12/18/14 Title: Chapter 1: Part 1: Fire Bird

Well I guess that's okay since you update so often.
I'm not saying you should write a 5k chapter,but I am saying that no one would complain if you do :-).

Author's Response: With somethings 5K works, although I prefer 3K, but for this one, it just doesn't feel right. That may change though. I'm currently deciding how I'll work out the next part. Part 2, Ashes, is going much quicker than I thought, so I may just go straight into Part 3 without the break, and finish this off at about 80K words. Part 3 is going to be very spiritual and mental so it will be even more dreamlike which could make it longer. Not sure yet.

Max has lived an average life, until now of course. His mother married the father of the most popular girl in his school. His life is hell, and her life is great. He wants her out of his life, but does she want the same?
Rated: Adult 13 Reviews starstarstarstar Story Incomplete Reads: 23834 Words: 5075 Chapters: 3 Table of Contents
Categories: Magical Gender Change
Characters: Female to Male, Teen (13-19 yrs), Male to Female, Teen (13-19 yrs)
Turned Into: Cheerleader, Teenager
Locale: Family Household, High School
Motivation for Change: Accident, Forced
Personality: Fights Change
Sexual Orientation: Changes to be Bisexual
Type of Change: Body Swap
Series: None
Published: 08/21/14
Updated: 10/01/14
Reviewer: TmC Signed starstarstarstar
Date: 09/29/14 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1: Sibling Rivalry

Brilliant. Loved the story, but it felt bit rushed. Like you weren't spending enough time on each scene before moving onto the next. Don't get me wrong, everything fits together nicely, just in a fast way.

It could also do with a little more description. Describe his (her?) family, his house. The woods where he got beat up. Since it's in first person, you should try and incorporate all of the senses when describing stuff.

You’ve got the story nailed down, now you just need to add fuel to the readers imagination. It'll also help slow down the scenes.

Thanks for the great work.

Reviewer: TmC Signed starstarstarstar
Date: 10/01/14 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1: Sibling Rivalry

Can this day get any worse? You ask.

Why yes, yes it can says the universe.

Good chapter. At this point I'm still wondering if the sister is genuinely nice, or it's all an act.

Author's Response: Good! Good! I was hoping that part would remain a mystery. It gives me MUCH more to work with. >:) Thank you for the review and I hope you enjoy the next chapter.

Mark Raynor is nearing the end of his career as an airship gunner. But when his ship receives a mission to look for an ancient device, and actually find it, his outlook on life changes completly
Rated: Explicit 53 Reviews starstarstarstarstar Story Incomplete Reads: 44021 Words: 27560 Chapters: 13 Table of Contents
Categories: Sci-Fi Gender Change
Characters: Male to Female, Young Adult (20-26 yrs)
Turned Into: Adult, Fantasy Character
Featured Items: Boots
Locale: Labratory
Motivation for Change: Accident
Personality: From Submissive to Dominant, Made Smarter
Sexual Orientation: Changes to be Attracted Only to Men
Story Theme: Coming of Age, Historical Time Period
Type of Change: Age Regression, Fast/Instant Change
Warnings: Death, Intense Violence, Non-Consentual Sex
Series: None
Published: 08/21/14
Updated: 02/02/15
Reviewer: TmC Signed starstarstarstar
Date: 09/30/14 Title: Chapter 1: A Gunner's Job

I'm really enjoying this story. I couldn’t help but laughing when she was punched in the boob, it reminded me of the same thing happening in the Scott Pilgrim series.

Author's Response: I haven't read the Scott Pilgrim series, despite meaning to for some time. Still, it's a tender target and on Veronica, it's quite a large one. Whether it's just a fight or a battle against an evil ex, it makes sense to take a swing at them if you want to put your opponent on the ground.

Reviewer: TmC Signed
Date: 11/05/14 Title: Chapter 11: ...Scars You for Life

You know, while the second chapter was loading, I was actually expecting Gavin to be the one being accused. With those two conspiring against him and having him falsely accused. It doesn't make much sense in hindsight as the victims testimony could easily prove otherwise.

Author's Response: While Gavin being accused was never the plan, while writing, I noticed that the assumption could be drawn. To be perfectly honest, I removed a mention of Gregor's name just to be funny and keep people guessing. However, since Rabbac is important later in the story, I could not put Gavin on the stand by his testimony. It was briefly considered though, and the misdirection is intentional.

Reviewer: TmC Signed
Date: 11/08/14 Title: Chapter 12: A Captain's Calling

That ending was... Deeply unsatisfying. I know that you realised it petered out. But that doesn't really help with the disappointment. Perhaps and ending where she saw her new ship and took to the skies once again?

Author's Response: The ending of this chapter will probably get updated later. But I have been forcing myself to write Sky Queen the last few weeks, and I was getting to be pretty tired, especially given how unpleasant these last few chapters were. I knew the ending was weak, but at the moment, I simply couldn't be bothered to write a better one. Maybe in a few weeks I'll be willing to write more, and I'll redo the end of this chapter when I write the next one. I'm sorry that the ending is unsatisfying right now, and I promise to fix it later, I'm just really tired. When I'm not, I'll fix it, for now; sorry.

Reviewer: TmC Signed
Date: 11/08/14 Title: Chapter 12: A Captain's Calling

That ending was... Deeply unsatisfying. I know that you realised it petered out, but that doesn't really help with the disappointment. Perhaps and ending where she saw her new ship and took to the skies once again?

Author's Response: The ending of this chapter will probably get updated later. But I have been forcing myself to write Sky Queen the last few weeks, and I was getting to be pretty tired, especially given how unpleasant these last few chapters were. I knew the ending was weak, but at the moment, I simply couldn't be bothered to write a better one. Maybe in a few weeks I'll be willing to write more, and I'll redo the end of this chapter when I write the next one. I'm sorry that the ending is unsatisfying right now, and I promise to fix it later, I'm just really tired. When I'm not, I'll fix it, for now; sorry.

East City isn't the only place that the Chosen have arrived. In the nearby city of Pine Ridge, Sasha Jackson is Chosen to rise. But is she ready for the challenges that await her?
Special thanks to Hikaro for permission to use his setting.
Rated: Adult 112 Reviews starstarstarstarstar Completed Story Reads: 26895 Words: 103925 Chapters: 53 Table of Contents
Categories: Sci-Fi Gender Change
Characters: Female to Male, Young Adult (20-26 yrs)
Turned Into: Jock
Featured Items: Long Nails
Locale: College, Hospital or Clinic
Body Modification: Weight Gain
Motivation for Change: Unknown
Sexual Orientation: Changes to be Attracted Only to Women
Story Theme: Captive, Coming of Age, Horror
Type of Change: Primarily Female to Male
Warnings: Death, Intense Violence
Series: Brave New World
Published: 08/26/14
Updated: 11/04/14
Reviewer: TmC Signed
Date: 10/28/14 Title: Chapter 48: I Won't Leave Again

I like this chapter. Something good finally happened to Sasha.

Author's Response: I have been rather nasty to him haven't I. Now I have to flip a coin to see if this continues or if it goes nasty again.

Reviewer: TmC Signed starstarstarstar
Date: 09/19/14 Title: Chapter 15: Gathering Clouds

I wasn't all that enthusiastic about this story to begin with, but this chapter turned that around. Plenty of action. Some vivid imagery and riot police. What more do you need? Really

Reviewer: TmC Signed starstarstarstar
Date: 09/19/14 Title: Chapter 15: Gathering Clouds

I wasn't all that enthusiastic about this story to begin with, but the last few chapters turned that around. Plenty of action. Some vivid imagery and riot police. What more do you need? Really

Author's Response: Well if that's what you like you are going to love most of the future chapters until the end.

Reviewer: TmC Signed starstarstarstar
Date: 09/27/14 Title: Chapter 19: Gust Front

These people sure are hypocrites. They go around killing chosen. But when a few of their own get killed in retaliation they start a protest as though they're in the right?

Theyre like "we're gonna kill you now so you better just lay down quietly and take it. If you try to fight back then it just proves our point of how violent dangerous you are."

Also the last bit with the shadow guy (Eric?) wasn't clear. Did he get stabbed (if so, by whom) or did he stab the guy he was targeting?

Author's Response: Yes they are. Which is why something must be done to stop them... Eric was stabbed I'll go over it shortly to make it clearer.

Reviewer: TmC Signed starstarstarstar
Date: 09/30/14 Title: Chapter 21: Dark Tempest

They really asked for that one. Never ask 'can this day get any worse?' . The universe loves to prove you right.


Something's missing here "He looked down at the creature who was no
visible."

I can see you're channeling virtual girl, virtual nightmare on this one, there's quite a bit of gore. It's only going to get worse from here right?

Author's Response: They're inexperienced, we can forgive them this once. Thanks I'll fix that one mistake up. And yes in this arc things are bad so I'm digging into the nasty side. After this arc things will be more serious but less gory.

Reviewer: TmC Signed starstarstarstar
Date: 10/02/14 Title: Chapter 22: Downpour

Well this won't end well. Sasha's fighting a war on two fronts now.

Brilliant chapter.

Author's Response: Four fronts. Joker, Harp, Hunter and mercenaries. thank you for the comments, they're always appreciated.

Reviewer: TmC Signed starstarstarstar
Date: 10/02/14 Title: Chapter 23: Shelter From The Storm

I've not sure whether this answers the question is the joker chosen or not. You have a gift for escalating things. Each chapter is growing more exciting and there's a definite feeling the things are going to violently explode at the climax.

Author's Response: You'll have to read Hikaro's work to figure out what the joker is. I'm not saying. Thanks for saying that, it's what I'm aiming for. As always I appreciate hearing from you.

Reviewer: TmC Signed starstarstar
Date: 10/04/14 Title: Chapter 25: Firestorm

As funny as it sounds. Chaos is alot more tame than some of the other chapters you've written.

Author's Response: Fair enough, but this is just the start .

Reviewer: TmC Signed starstarstar
Date: 10/06/14 Title: Chapter 27: Flash Flood

Now you've moved on to channelling George R. R Martin. (for the previous chapter. )

I seem to be suffering from character overload. At the start of the chapter I was wondering "who the heck is Parks?" then I remembered that It was the water lady. I'm having a hard time keeping all the characters in order. I can only really recognise them from their powers at this point"

Author's Response: Yeah, I realized that a bit too late. Which is why I'm rapidly removing characters. Don't worry two more chapter of lots of characters and then it will be all Sasha and some Maria.

Reviewer: TmC Signed starstarstarstar
Date: 10/07/14 Title: Chapter 1: Reborn

"Rabidly removing characters" I didn't think you meant it quite like that.

Are you having trouble coming up with all the storm related chapter names? You must be scraping the bottom of the barrel by now.

Author's Response: Rapidly or rabidly is appropriate. And yes I am. I'm saving a few names for Sasha, so it's slowing me down. I didn't think it would be this long.

Reviewer: TmC Signed starstarstarstar
Date: 10/09/14 Title: Chapter 29: Ray of Light

I actually thought you killed off Sasha. Glad to see he's up at scaring the hell out of people.

Author's Response: That was the plan. I figured I needed to throw a cliffhanger in to let people know it was serious. And the image of a walking bundle of molten tentacles was too good to resist.

Reviewer: TmC Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 10/10/14 Title: Chapter 1: Reborn

That was a brilliant chapter. The bit with the gun at the end was great.

Author's Response: Thank you very much. I was thinking of having Sasha kill Travis, but decided that was too nice, the gun bomb itself was a last second decision and icing on the humiliation cake.

Reviewer: TmC Signed starstarstarstar
Date: 10/16/14 Title: Chapter 36: Grieving

I'm quite enjoying this new arc. I'm getting the feeling it's like a time bomb. He's going to wake up(explode) soon.

Author's Response: Thanks, I seem to do better with a Very tight focus. Groups and multiple characters is a bit overwhelming for me. This is also very fun to write.

Reviewer: TmC Signed starstarstar
Date: 10/19/14 Title: Chapter 40: Fear

Fourty chapters! Congrats.

But I'm feeling like you're going OTT with all the killing. It gets a bit much after a while.

Author's Response: Don't worry, that was the last chapter.

Reviewer: TmC Signed
Date: 11/01/14 Title: Chapter 50: Escape

It worked quite well. It was easier to focus on the actual story progression during the chapter. Overall it helped move the story along a bit faster, lending to the urgent nature of the escape.

Author's Response: Great. So for other works, keep most action like this and only go gory for the big fights, keeping it to about one chapter only. Got it. Thanks.

Reviewer: TmC Signed
Date: 11/02/14 Title: Chapter 1: Reborn

That kind of gory, über violence works quite well if there's a clear purpose behind it. Like in your story Virtual Girl Virtual Nightmare.

Author's Response: True. But frankly, I don't want to do another Virtual Girl again. That freaked me out by the end.

Reviewer: TmC Signed starstarstarstar
Date: 11/05/14 Title: Chapter 53: There's Always Hope

Congratulations on finishing this story. It's been a bumpy ride (to put things mildly, some of the bloodier scenes are still stuck in my head). Now if you could only finish up your other stories...

Author's Response: This has been a huge confidence booster, so I'm working on a schedule where I mainly work on two or three stories at a time until one of them is complete and then switch to another two or three. Right now the oldest ones will get the top priority so I'm thinking Switched, slave of the Fae and magical mishaps. With once a week updates for some other ones, probably Far From Home and Ride The Whirlwind,

Reviewer: TmC Signed
Date: 11/05/14 Title: Chapter 1: Reborn

Warrior bimbo? King's Sword? Alice Rose?

Author's Response: Like I said, I'll focus on a few at a time like I did for Tech. If i do them all at once nothing will get done. I plan on most being completed by late December.

In Randion City where technology and science determine rank and status, while those with no skills receive nothing. Now there is someone or something new and more capable. Will the city crumble or reach a new golden age.
Rated: Adult 55 Reviews starstarstarstarhalf-star Completed Story Reads: 51249 Words: 101155 Chapters: 24 Table of Contents
Categories: Magical Gender Change
Characters: Male to Female, Teen (13-19 yrs)
Turned Into: Daughter, Fantasy Character, Teenager
Featured Items: School Uniform
Locale: Family Household, High School, Hospital or Clinic, Labratory
Body Modification: Ears Pierced
Motivation for Change: Accident, Revenge, Willing or Voluntary
Personality: Loses Identity
Sexual Orientation: Changes to be Attracted Only to Men
Story Theme: Coming of Age, Mythical Setting
Type of Change: Age Regression, Fast/Instant Change
Warnings: Death, Intense Violence
Series: None
Published: 09/17/14
Updated: 05/07/15
Reviewer: TmC Signed starstarstar
Date: 09/17/14 Title: Chapter 1: Introduction

I like where you're going with this. But it was a bit hard to follow at times. The biggest issue is that you're 'telling' quite a lot as opposed to 'showing'.

You shouldn't tell us he's a genius. Show us through his actions and words. Rather than telling us what the Altered are. Show them in action (using news footage or something similar)

There are a few spelling and grammar issues. But nothing a quick proofread can't fix.

I'm looking forward to seeing more of this.

Author's Response: Thanks for the quick response. Yeah I figured that would be one of the issues. The next chapter is coming up soon but will be fairly similar to this. It should at least show some of his thinking processes. Other than that. I believe Altered abilities will come up in chapter 2 and his capabilities as a genius at least in researching and creating will be revealed later in the stories. But look forward to seeing some stuff about the altered capabilities very soon.

Reviewer: TmC Signed starstarstarstar
Date: 09/17/14 Title: Chapter 3: Chapter 2: Nothing more unsettling

Police brutality! I'd love to see where this is going. I'm enjoying it so far. Also, this chapter is a great improvement over the first one. On a side note this tale might make an awesome manga.

Author's Response: I figured you would like the chief. And on the manga part. I actually have a lot of thoughts from manga. I am an avid manga and manwha reader, and actually got the name Sheeni as an idea. Obviously other language would work too. But with death being such a culture in the manga seen I decided to go that. I have been writing to burn some time while I await some of the games for this year, I would draw. But every drawing I make looks like it was made in MS paint. So yeah. I have been thinking about Chief's name for a while but have been drawing blanks. I want to make him an important part in the story but I suppose there's only one way to find out.

Reviewer: TmC Signed starstarstar
Date: 09/19/14 Title: Chapter 4: Chapter 3: Life after death

Dialogue is a bit formal here. Also, you don't have to say 'he said'/'she said' after every piece of dialogue, only when it's necessary. We know it's an exchange between two people, so one will speak after the other. (Unless there's threr or more people speaking, then we need to know who's saying what)

I've never even heard of that manga you mentioned. When you introduced death I was picturing her as Maka from soul eater, only bad assier.

Author's Response: So with the formal dialogue. It's mostly because other than between the main characters who have names now all conversation are between people who have jobs to be incredibly polite to those which employ them and an AI which was programmed by David. I fixed some of the other stuff, and on top of that the last part between the entrance into the mansion and the sleeping took me over 4 hours to think up and an additional 2 to put into words, I was exhausted. Hopefully the fix has worked out some of the problems I originally had. On the subject of the manga. It is not exactly well known like Soul Eater. But in my own opinion it has a good concept if you are alright with religious extremes. It was popular a while back but it went on break for a couple months. It is now completed so if you don't like reading uncompleted manga like I do, it's there to be all read.

Reviewer: TmC Signed starstarstar
Date: 09/27/14 Title: Chapter 9: Chapter 8: Excalibur, the holy sword

These people are remarkable calm over someone who's coughing up blood and can barely walk, like they're dealing with a broken arm or a sprained ankle. It was quite funny actually if you imagine it.

Author's Response: This chapter got cut in more places than one. I did say 'my wounds and organs had healed'. The only person who saw the injuries for what they were was Yuki who has stabbed Sheeni in the past and did yell at the media and Frederic. No-one other than Yuki actually saw Sheeni cough up, or throw up blood.

Reviewer: TmC Signed starstarstarstar
Date: 09/27/14 Title: Chapter 10: Chapter 9: One sin too many

Brilliant chapter. I quite enjoyed it.

Author's Response: Thanks. I will try keep to these types of chapters then (oh and during this chapter you can see where my typing got cut)

Reviewer: TmC Signed starstarstarstar
Date: 09/30/14 Title: Chapter 11: Chapter 10: Return on investment.

This was awesome. I'm glad that you didn't put the cliffhanger earlier. Watching her working is great.

There something missing here "Suddenly third wheel approaches."

Only one problem. Well two. When she left the restaurant to find those people in her room, the change was too abrupt. One second she's in the restaurant the next she's in front of her door listening, with no warning. The same with Zac chasing her. A little build-up before the event would be great.

Author's Response: After a while of explaining point a to point b felt a bit lacking. I didn't know it had become a problem, I will try and put it back in during the next chapter.

Much of the world has been destroyed an a mysterious enemy who have poisoned much of the land. A pilot fighting to defend Alaska is shot down bringing his flying career to an end, that is until he is offered the chance to become a test subject in the Winged Warrior programme.
Rated: Adult 187 Reviews starstarstarstarstar Completed Story Reads: 113493 Words: 128996 Chapters: 44 Table of Contents
Categories: Sci-Fi Gender Change
Characters: Male to Female, Young Adult (20-26 yrs)
Turned Into: Teenager
Featured Items: Lingerie, Undies
Locale: Labratory
Motivation for Change: For a Job
Personality: Fights Change
Sexual Orientation: Does Not Change
Story Theme: Medical Experiment
Type of Change: Age Regression, Fast/Instant Change, Stuck
Series: None
Published: 09/19/14
Updated: 01/04/15
Reviewer: TmC Signed
Date: 12/28/14 Title: Chapter 43: Chapter 43

C'mon, can't you just kill that minister a little? He's gotten away with too much already.

Author's Response: Yeah I could but.... I don't have any characters mean enough to kill him

Reviewer: TmC Signed
Date: 12/26/14 Title: Chapter 42: Chapter 42

Brilliant. Worth the wait.

Author's Response: Thanks.

Reviewer: TmC Signed
Date: 12/11/14 Title: Chapter 35: Chapter 35

Well that was completely different. I can see why they need good publicity. But I can't help but feel that it's going to end badly for the military types when the enemy finally makes their play.

Author's Response: Just adding more ingredients to the brew...

Reviewer: TmC Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 09/26/14 Title: Chapter 7: Chapter 7

When reading this I didn't want it to end. I Didn't even look at the scroll bar and was surprised when I reached the end of the page. Great work, It was quite immersive.

Author's Response: The chapter lengths are a bit shorter than what I'd normally do but editing short chapters is a lot less painful than editing long ones. I'll probably reorganize chapters later when the story is done but for now I'm keeping stuff short.

Reviewer: TmC Signed starstarstarstar
Date: 09/29/14 Title: Chapter 9: Chapter 9

Great chapter. I really enjoyed it. The only issues I can see are a few missing comma's and a full stop or two. The only spelling error I noticed was when they entered the canteen. You wrote severed instead of served.

What's up with Charlotte and Rusty? Is she going to develop into something more than an annoyance to Rusty in future?

Reviewer: TmC Signed starstarstarstar
Date: 09/29/14 Title: Chapter 9: Chapter 9

Great chapter. I really enjoyed it. The only issues I can see are a few missing comma's and a full stop or two. The only spelling error I noticed was when they entered the canteen. You wrote severed instead of served.

What's up with Charlotte and Rusty? Is she going to develop into something more than an annoyance to Rusty in future?

Author's Response: I probably should have made the relationship between Charlotte and Rusty more clear. Essentially Erika (for reasons explained in chapter 11) dislikes Charlotte while Charlotte is determined to become friends with Erika. Rusty notices that Erika dislikes Charlotte so acts as a barrier between the two.

Reviewer: TmC Signed
Date: 11/30/14 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Glad to see you're back to regular updates. I'm liking all the secrecy in this chapter, it's really ratcheting up the tension.

What was your final WriMo word count? How long did it take to get there?

Author's Response: In the end it ended up with 50k over 28 days. Turns out my idea really lacked substance and I had to flush it out with really long fight scenes. Still practices makes prefect and it added a lot to my NaNoWriMo universe.

Reviewer: TmC Signed
Date: 12/01/14 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Mine was 50k in 29 days. Problem is I'm only 2/3rds of the way through my story. I'm now wondering if it's going to bore the pants off anyone who reads it.

Reviewer: TmC Signed
Date: 12/01/14 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Mine was 50k in 29 days. Problem is I'm only 2/3rds of the way through my story. I'm now wondering if it's going to bore the pants off anyone who reads it.

Author's Response: It's a learning experience, I've had many a disastrous NaNoWriMo but I always learned a lot.

Reviewer: TmC Signed
Date: 12/01/14 Title: Chapter 30: Chapter 30

I'm surprised, I was really expecting rusty to fight that guy. I blame character development.

Author's Response: I blame you for making a far better picture of the O.S.A emblem.

Reviewer: TmC Signed
Date: 12/03/14 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

That was one of the best chapters of this story. Quite the twist.

As for the O.S.A picture, what software are you using? Download inkscape. It gives you a lot more options.

Author's Response: Photoshop. Also I'm just getting warmed up!

Reviewer: TmC Signed
Date: 12/05/14 Title: Chapter 32: Chapter 32

Honestly, I didn't expect something intelligent after the last chapter. The fight was a good continuation.

This certainly gives us a little more information about where the wing suits come from.

There were a few typos though. In the second paragraph and here "gold's words were the last thing anyone wanted to here".

Author's Response: Gah, dam you English language!

Reviewer: TmC Signed
Date: 12/21/14 Title: Chapter 40: Chapter 40

Wait, aren't you skipping the part where it's explained to rusty what was done to her? (unless that was it) (unless unless I'm the one that skipped over reading something) it seems like kind of a biggie given how extreme the procedure was.

Author's Response: It's explained at the start of chapter 37 but maybe I wasn't clear enough on what happened. Anyway there's a bit coming up where it's explained again, I just need to work on it a bit.

Reviewer: TmC Signed
Date: 12/17/14 Title: Chapter 39: Chapter 39

It's always sunset in my mind when two lovers reunite.

That minister is an asshole. Why do they need to kill a WW though? Are the planning on fighting a lot of them in future, so they need data?

You're a better editor than you think. Only saw like three typos. (that or I was too engrossed in the story and read right over them.)

Great work.

Author's Response: Should a WW commit a crime the only thing that could stop them would be another WW but the government doesn't want to rely on WW so need to make sure the NEXTs can deal with them.

Reviewer: TmC Signed
Date: 12/24/14 Title: Chapter 41: Chapter 41

A (slightly) Early Christmas present in the form of a cliff hanger. Oh well, this is gonna bother me forever now. Or at least until your next post.

Author's Response: Apologies for taking a little longer on this one, Christmas was a bit busier than expected.

Reviewer: TmC Signed
Date: 12/29/14 Title: Wing My Way

Seems like you enjoy tormenting us with cliff hangers (even if it's a small one)

Author's Response: I admit...I kinda do >:D

Reviewer: TmC Signed
Date: 12/30/14 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

It would be simple enough to let him have a "accident".

Author's Response: Meh accidents are boring, I prefer gun-fights at the O.K. Corral

Reviewer: TmC Signed
Date: 12/30/14 Title: Wing My Way

*Applause* things are coming to a head.

Author's Response: I guess that's one way to put it

Reviewer: TmC Signed
Date: 01/04/15 Title: Chapter 44: Epilogue

Awesome end to an awesome story. But it needs an epilogue.

Can't wait to see what you come up with next.

Author's Response: I'll add one when I finish correcting the story.

After running away from home for being TG and turning to prostitution to survive, fifteen year old Chris is arrested and given a simple choice join a camp for at risk youths or get charged for solicitation. It's an easy choice, but as he learns prison or the streets might have been safer.
Rated: Adult 3 Reviews starstarstarstarstar Story Incomplete Reads: 3705 Words: 2616 Chapters: 2 Table of Contents
Categories: Realistic Crossdressing and TV
Characters: Male to Female, Teen (13-19 yrs)
Featured Items: School Uniform
Locale: Camp
Motivation for Change: Willing or Voluntary
Sexual Orientation: Does Not Change
Story Theme: Captive, Horror
Series: None
Published: 09/20/14
Updated: 09/23/14
Reviewer: TmC Signed
Date: 09/20/14 Title: Chapter 1: A Simple Choice

I've no idea where this might be headed. But it has horror in it so I'm just about hooked already.

Author's Response: Thanks.

[(Dot) .Virtual: Hack] "No that can't be right! My genes are supposed to be used for medical purposes. What is all this?!" Blood stained the alley walls and a boy that looked just like me stood mangled on the ground. I pulled the bags I was holding closer to my chest. | "Hey Onēsan!" I looked at a boy that looked like the former me, the only difference were his eyes, they were a pale gray, dull and lifeless.
Rated: Deviant 2 Reviews starstarstar Story Incomplete Reads: 1959 Words: 295 Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Reviewer: TmC Signed starstarstar
Date: 09/22/14 Title: Chapter 1: Prologue

A certain scientific railgun? (or a certain magical index? )

Author's Response: Actually I was think for this series to be a mix off a lot of fanfiction, but yeah: A Certain Scientific Rail Gun

Cody loved Kathryn. However, he never thought he'd wake up as her! He's inexperienced, and must now navigate through the life as a 13-year-old girl.
Rated: Adult 6 Reviews starstarstarstar Story Incomplete Reads: 23596 Words: 1493 Chapters: 4 Table of Contents
Reviewer: TmC Signed
Date: 12/23/14 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

I always like a good love story (sort of). In the 2nd chapter, things got a little confusing. I couldn't tell who was speaking. He structure needs a little work, but your writing is solid as far as I can tell. Though I haven't looked too closely.

Author's Response: Yeah, I'm not the best with structure. However, I'm working on it.

One day everybody swapped genders and every four years after that. We follow Carl who becomes a girl and his friends as they discover something about the gender cycle and everything spirals out of control, especially with a group who deal in world matters and their lead frontman Jed.
Rated: Adult 11 Reviews starstarstarstar Completed Story Reads: 35302 Words: 16632 Chapters: 12 Table of Contents
Categories: Sci-Fi Gender Change
Characters: None
Turned Into: Daughter
Motivation for Change: Unknown
Sexual Orientation: Changes to be Attracted Only to Men
Story Theme: Distant Future
Series: None
Published: 09/27/14
Updated: 11/02/14
Reviewer: TmC Signed starstarstar
Date: 10/06/14 Title: Chapter 4: Chapter 4

It's a good story. There are a few issues though. Your word tenses could use a little more work. Here for example " Straight away we was off to avoid detection of the guard"

Also there are just a few spelling errors and missing words. But that's nothing a proper proof read can't fix.

But other than that it's a bit rushed in places. One minute they're in one place the next there in another without an adequate explanation of how they got there.

Right, I'm looking forward to seeing where you take this.

Author's Response: Yeah i see what you mean. I did two copies of the recent chapters but the re done improved versions deleted and I just wanted to get them up so I fixed some major problems and I had to leave some bits out sorry. But I will try and fix that :)

When a dormant curse reawakens on his 18th birthday, a high school senior finds that moonlit nights have become infinitely more terrifying...and annoying.
Rated: Adult 75 Reviews starstarstarstarhalf-star Story Incomplete Reads: 199227 Words: 134250 Chapters: 31 Table of Contents
Categories: Magical Gender Change
Characters: Female to Male, Teen (13-19 yrs), Male to Female, Teen (13-19 yrs)
Locale: High School
Motivation for Change: Curse, Revenge
Personality: Fights Change
Story Theme: Coming of Age, Everyday Living, Witchcraft
Type of Change: Fast/Instant Change, Stuck
Series: None
Published: 10/07/14
Updated: 06/21/19
Reviewer: TmC Signed starstarstar
Date: 10/08/14 Title: Chapter 1: Happy Birthday!

The only issue I can see is his internal dialogue. It comes across as... Cartoonish (that's the first word that comes to mind) ,it's a little exaggerated, like, people don't really speak like this in their heads.


You wrote the transformation scene well though. It has a real sense of urgency.

Author's Response: The dialogue is sort of intentionally exaggerated for comedic effect. I guess I may have gone a little overboard, though. Still, thanks for the feedback! :)

Human flesh is their only sustenance. Don't go looking for them, or it will be your flesh.
Rated: Adult 40 Reviews starstarstarstarhalf-star Completed Story Reads: 50275 Words: 106299 Chapters: 20 Table of Contents
Categories: Magical Gender Change
Characters: Male to Female, Teen (13-19 yrs)
Turned Into: Girlfriend, Object, Teenager
Featured Items: School Uniform
Locale: High School
Motivation for Change: Curse, Forced
Personality: Loses Identity, Made Smarter
Sexual Orientation: Changes to be Attracted Only to Men
Story Theme: Mythical Setting, Witchcraft
Type of Change: Fast/Instant Change
Warnings: Death, Intense Violence, Torture
Series: Castaways
Published: 10/25/14
Updated: 11/27/14
Reviewer: TmC Signed starstarstarstar
Date: 11/26/14 Title: Chapter 19: Chapter 19: The prophecy fulfilled

I loved it. Except the ending. It was too sudden. Actually, the entire chapter feels rushed. I was expecting bigger fireworks for the final battle. And i actually said is that it? when it ended . I'm a tad disappointed.

Other than that it was good. If there's a sequel then I'll wait on the edge of my seat for it. It can only get better from here (I'm hoping)

Author's Response: Fair enough, fair enough, I too expected the finale to be a bit more firework infused. The only problem being, I didn't really know how to make it super interesting without it being overkill (and by overkill it means giant pillars of ice reaching into the sky, which might have been cool, but pointless.) So sorry for that, as for why it ended so abruptly, I felt that considering it has a sequel that's meant to be continuing off from this story, I needed to end it on something like 'my name is Apollo' rather than a conversation with friends. I thought it through, and I promise you, this is better. If I actually went with the second idea it would have been drawn out and excessive. But yes, for next time, it will be a bit better, I can at least promise that.

Reviewer: TmC Signed
Date: 11/27/14 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1: Midnight sun

Ok. I'm excited again. Especially after reading that all of the things she's fought so far are just small fry and the real mission is yet to come.

I've got a question though. Did she absorb the last platinum shard from her mum, which made her whole? Or did she die and then come back whole through some unknown process?

Author's Response: Oh, as an author, I'm meant to leave that open to you guys. For the meta answer, being 'the right answer'. At the end of the fight, she killed her Mother, however was unconscious at the time and absorbed the shard. That whole thing Van Helsing was talking about 'knowing two people who can absorb three shards thereby becoming something new'. That has a lot to do with the second part, so it's a big mixture of the two parts. I'll go into more detail about full shards/gods in the next chapter after I do Caitlin's side story.

Gather round, as players from all over the world embark on an accidental quest of discovery and peril! Join Sadie, Hikaro, Sam, Keith, Azorath, and Don through an adventure that will change them forever.
Rated: Adult 40 Reviews starstarstarstarstar Story Incomplete Reads: 18054 Words: 54514 Chapters: 13 Table of Contents
Reviewer: TmC Signed starstarstarstar
Date: 11/06/14 Title: Chapter 1: Players - Act 1

I'm quite enjoying this story. It's one of the better ones that I've seen lately. Even with the number of authors it comes together quite well.

My favourite character would have to be a Jet. I relate to her quite well.

Reviewer: TmC Signed
Date: 11/30/14 Title: Chapter 1: Players - Act 1

You know it's been a while if you need to go back and read the previous chapter to figure out what's going on. You know it's been too much of a while when you need to go back and read even the one before that.

Patrick was an ordinary teenager, then he fell into another dimension along with his sisters cat. Now he's far from home, not exactly human, and definitely not male. Worst of all she is surrounded by people she's not sure she can trust, in a situation she can barely comprehend.
She has a long way to go if she's ever to find safety, and the path is dark and dangerous.
This is the first part of a trilogy.
I added in a new chapter, Answers and Questions, it was necessary for the second part.
Rated: Adult 57 Reviews starstarstarstarstar Completed Story Reads: 42457 Words: 57295 Chapters: 19 Table of Contents
Categories: Sci-Fi Gender Change
Characters: Male to Female, Teen (13-19 yrs)
Turned Into: Alien, Fantasy Character
Featured Items: Long Nails
Locale: Hospital or Clinic, Labratory
Motivation for Change: Accident
Personality: Fights Change
Sexual Orientation: Changes to be Bisexual
Story Theme: Coming of Age
Type of Change: Fast/Instant Change, Stuck
Series: Far From Home
Published: 10/28/14
Updated: 12/13/14
Reviewer: TmC Signed starstarstar
Date: 10/29/14 Title: Chapter 2: Worst. World. Ever.

I'm reading an 11 on the creep-o-meter. How'd you come up with Pulam? Reminds me of something from The SCP foundation.
www.scp-wiki.net/scp-series

I liked the characters in the old story better though.

Author's Response: I understand where you're coming from. However after thinking about things I wanted to make the powers a little more consistent. And I thought long and hard about them, I think with Pulam and the not radical changes in his personality you'll find that while he's creepy as hell he is an even more interesting character. As for Nathaniel that is basically just a name and power change, but this time we'll really get to know him better, earlier on. Thanks as always for commenting, I always find it helpful for not going too overboard or getting back on track when I do.

Reviewer: TmC Signed
Date: 11/07/14 Title: Chapter 1: Strange Paths

The cat nip was a brilliant idea. I can already see the possibilities... (rubs hands in anticipation).

Alright enough procrastination. I gotta get Back to writing. But if you post anything else today I fear that I'll have to take another break.

Author's Response: When making that scene I was debating making it actually funny, or serious. Serious got it because as you said, there are so many possibilities. Thanks for the review, now get back to work.

Reviewer: TmC Signed
Date: 11/11/14 Title: Chapter 1: Strange Paths

Will we be seeing the giant bird-dinosaur-robot-thing again? If not, they'll need a new mascot. Unless Pat volunteers.

Author's Response: No comment as that would be spoilers.

Reviewer: TmC Signed
Date: 11/14/14 Title: Chapter 1: Strange Paths

A conspiracy huh. However did you come up with that?

Author's Response: I wanted a super hero story that wasn't simply two people beating up each other. Like the title says there are different paths and all of them are dangerous.

Reviewer: TmC Signed
Date: 11/20/14 Title: Chapter 12: Dino Hunt

This is one of my favourite chapters. You have guns in the front and a dinosaur-bird-stone-thing in the back. This is a lot more descriptive than the original version. I imagined that old one to be a t-rex with a tortoise shell and a beak. The new version was described alot better. I especially like the whistling sounds that it makes, that really brought the scene to life.

The only thing that I can say which is (slightly) negative. Is that you used to have that scene at the pool where they were catapulted into the water. well that scene really helped set up the mood for when Pat was thrown and Michelle's reluctance. But this is a nit pick anyway. Good work. On

Author's Response: I miss that scene to. But with no one having telekinetic powers in case something went wrong, plus already having it longer than the original primarily for character introduction and characterization, I needed to save space and move into the main plot. I'm really glad you enjoyed it. Thanks

Reviewer: TmC Signed
Date: 11/20/14 Title: Chapter 13: Just An Animal

I like it. Quick question. Is Pat's body proportions different from a normal persons? Because she seems to be very comfortable walking on all fours. Sometimes even running.

Author's Response: Yes, her arms are a bit longer than normal. Not really too noticeable when she's walking normally, but when she wants to her very flexable body shifts a bit to make it easier than it normally would be.

Reviewer: TmC Signed
Date: 11/20/14 Title: Chapter 14: I'm not human.

You handled that well, but I prefered the shock of them finding her pulling out all her fur.

This ons show us exactly what's going on in her head. Like an extreme close up.

Author's Response: Again I really wanted to add in that scene, because it was so vivid, but what happened to Pat wasn't quite that extreme in this version. So like the catapult scene I couldn't justify it. But aside from that one part like you I prefer the new version. Thanks.

Reviewer: TmC Signed
Date: 11/20/14 Title: Chapter 15: Blood, Fear and Death

Nathaniel has some of the most versatile powers I've seen. Bug spray, pine air freshener, can nip. And now even thorns. That'll make him quite effective in hand to hand combat. He could even poison the thorns. Release a strong chillie smell into the air to make his own pepper spray. I could come up with stuff all day.

Author's Response: Now you see why I changed his powers from simply being a telekinetic to this. I'm not going to have him making giant man eating plants or anything, but yeah for close combat he's going to be a monster as he learns more about his powers. Glad you like him now, and thanks for all the comments. I like to know I'm going in the right direction.

Reviewer: TmC Signed
Date: 11/22/14 Title: Chapter 18: PAT!

This story is quite tame when compared to your other work. But it's alot more emotional. I could feel the tension in the air when Pat found out that Michelle was gone. I don't know how you do it, but you're very skilled at making imagery that sticks in one's brain.

Author's Response: I purposefully put the effort I usually put into the gore, into the emotions this time. I actually started writing fiction with zombie short stories involving kids, that were much more psychological. Virtual Girl, and Tech were experiments on pacing and showing off physical imagery. I have those down pretty well now, so I'm going back to the emotional, combined with the physical. As for how I do it. I read. A lot. So I just picked what I liked the best and tried to copy it, mixing enough around that it wasn't a blatant rip off. And I listen to people, watching them. I take what they tell me, or show me, mix it with my own experiences and emotions and throw it onto the page. It seems to work. Thank you very much for this comment.

Reviewer: TmC Signed
Date: 11/23/14 Title: Chapter 19: Can You Run?

What an excellent ending. Plenty of things to keep us hooked until the next part is out. It was a tad short though, over too quickly.

Author's Response: Possibly. I was really trying to get in the fact that everything was going to hell in a handbasket, and there was almost no time to think, just react. The next part will be longer, with a bit more of everything, including fighting, as Pat has to really think things through and not just react or go with the flow. Thanks.

Reviewer: TmC Signed
Date: 11/23/14 Title: Chapter 1: Strange Paths

You're always so swift when replying to my reviews. It's like your sitting at the desk, just waiting, so that you can pounce on the keyboard and write out the reply. Either that or you've got a robot butler to handle that sort of thing 24/7

Author's Response: Well I am writing up the next chapter to Ride the Whirlwind, and I have it set up that reviews pop up in my email. Since I have my email open constantly, a quick glance at the tabs lets me know when I have something. And yes, I'm very often at my computer or my Ipad, writing, reviewing or reading something. I don't have cable. And since I'm in a small town living with my parents for the next two months, not much of a life.

In the first part of my sequel to Bound To Happen Sometime, we meet an ordinary guy who wakes up one morning to find he's in the wrong body. A beautiful girl's body to be exact. On his first day of college. Watch as she finds out college is the most exciting, terrifying and sexy place she could have ended up.
Rated: Explicit 26 Reviews starstarstarstarstar Story Incomplete Reads: 55661 Words: 20041 Chapters: 10 Table of Contents
Reviewer: TmC Signed
Date: 12/27/14 Title: Chapter 7: Chapter 7

This is so awkward it's cute. I love it. Though the ending was a little off for me.

Reviewer: TmC Signed starstarstarstar
Date: 11/08/14 Title: Chapter 1: Book One, Chapter One

Well... That wasn't awkward at all. She's like an assasin, trained to kill any semblance of a social life.

I sure do hope that this story follows a different path than the previous bound to happen.

Reviewer: TmC Signed
Date: 01/12/15 Title: Chapter 10: Chapter 10

I'm liking this one a whole lot more than the first one. There was a time near the middle of that one that I stopped reading since it was getting tedious reading about the protagonist wallowing through another day of self abuse and melancholy. But eventually I picked it up again.

So far, This one is a lot better suited to my taste. She's handling the change a lot better. Taking things day by day. I'm getting that feeling that she knows likes being a girl better, even if she doesn't realise it. Or at least she will eventually, despite the issues that come with it.

Months ago, Ricki was changed from a boy into a girl, gaining the power to control the wind in the process. Since then she has seen her family murdered, nearly died, and killed to defend herself. Now on her own, with no plan except to escape her inner demons she has a chance to find peace.
This is part of the Brave New World Universe with direct tie ins to Tech Adventures.
Rated: Adult 25 Reviews starstarstarstarstar Story Incomplete Reads: 8325 Words: 37183 Chapters: 14 Table of Contents
Categories: Sci-Fi Gender Change
Characters: Male to Female, Teen (13-19 yrs)
Motivation for Change: Unknown
Personality: Bad to Good
Sexual Orientation: Changes to be Attracted Only to Men
Story Theme: Coming of Age
Type of Change: Fast/Instant Change
Series: Brave New World
Published: 11/05/14
Updated: 01/03/15
Reviewer: TmC Signed
Date: 11/05/14 Title: Chapter 1: The Morrig

This is a good start.

Did the nanites seize up or something? Were they affected at all by what happened to Sasha?

"She looked too clean and fresh, even with the
angry scowl on her face to belong here." this sentence needs another comma though.I Couldn't spot any other errors.

That Morrig has some of the coolest powers I've seen. It's like he was made for combat. Something tells me that that is exactly what he'll be doing soon enough.

Author's Response: I like the Morrig as well. I got some inspiration for him from the Morrigan (Phantom Queen or Nightmare Queen) of Irish legends. Ravens were part of her motiff. It was either that or Odins ravens. But I thought a king of chaos and war was cooler. About the nanites, This is taking place immediately after the Pine Ridge Riots, so Sasha is still off in lala land. You'll know when Sasha does his thing by her reactions. The reason she is seized up has to do with the improper use of the nanites. Joanna is a super genius who intuitively knows how to control the Chosen process. HealAll has good scientists but not that good, so there were side effects. Thanks. And I'll make the corrections tomorrow.

Reviewer: TmC Signed
Date: 11/05/14 Title: Chapter 1: The Morrig

I just realised that to this story is a spin off of a spin off.

Author's Response: Yes, yes it is. I had actually planned for this to start right from the start of Ricki's change, only to change my mind and try to cram it into Tech Adventures. Which is why we got a suddenly expanding cast and side plot. This one is going to be controlled much better.

Reviewer: TmC Signed
Date: 11/05/14 Title: Chapter 1: The Morrig

Well, In any case, I. Hope it isn't permanent. I can't really see her locked in an Epic battle with whoever the big bad is while doing the robot.

Wait, I can, and it's hilarious.

Author's Response: I have some things planned for her. Both funny and not so funny. We'll just have to see what happens. Thanks as always for commenting.

Reviewer: TmC Signed
Date: 11/05/14 Title: Chapter 1: The Morrig

Well, In any case, I Hope it isn't permanent. I can't really see her locked in an Epic battle with whoever the big bad is while doing the robot.

Wait, I can, and it's hilarious.

Reviewer: TmC Signed starstarstar
Date: 11/09/14 Title: Chapter 3: The Guardians

Good Job. Ricki seems to be sliding down that slippery slope of revenge (which is doubly dangerous since she's on crutches.)

Why does it seem like no one can catch a break in Hikaro's universe?

Author's Response: And here I thought I was giving Al a break by not having him killed. Ricki is going to be an interesting challenge. This story is suppose to be a redemption/healing theme for several characters who have been broken, physically and emotionally. Because of certain things in the wider universe this is not going to be easy and may be impossible. But she has a few people in her corner who will do there best to help. As for dangers, when you can make your own personal tornado it makes up for certain disadvantages. :-) Thanks for commenting.

Reviewer: TmC Signed
Date: 11/09/14 Title: Chapter 1: The Morrig

Since Al seems to think that dying would be the preferred option. And he's surrounded by a group of poweral vengeful chosen who hate his guts (I'm assuming). I don't see that as a break.

Author's Response: What he wants and what he deserves are two totally different things. He deserves a chance to gain some peace and he won't find that if he's dead. I said he would get a break, I didn't say it would be an easy break or that he would enjoy it especially at first, But it is better than the alternatives. With the redemption/healing theme, Ricki mostly needs healing, Sam needs redemption, in his mind more than anything. Both have long roads ahead of them, but I think the light at the end won't be an oncoming train.

Reviewer: TmC Signed
Date: 11/09/14 Title: Chapter 1: The Morrig

It might even be a moped. I'm Looking forward to finding out.

Author's Response: Considering what Hikaro has planned, it's probably a compact car. But we shall see.

Reviewer: TmC Signed starstarstarstar
Date: 11/20/14 Title: Chapter 6: Change Your Ways

This was quite entertaining. I physically smiled (which is a big deal for me) when I read how he threatened to break that kid's limbs. I've been away for a while, so I'm chain-reading all your posts from last week. I'm off to far from home next.

Author's Response: I was channeling Granny Weatherwax from Discworld when I wrote this chapter. And there are many things you can do to people that doesn't involve murder. How long he can get away with clean hands is the question. Glad to see that your back, I missed your comments.

Reviewer: TmC Signed
Date: 11/24/14 Title: Chapter 7: A Friend

Define "better". If you mean more terrifying (for Ricki) then yes, they are better. You did seem to solidify the scene where Christine was shot. Everything happened so fast in that story, it was one thing after another, escalation after escalation, so It was nice to get more details in this second look.

Author's Response: True. That was one big lesson I learned from Tech, which I think I've overcome. And I never said this was a 'nice' story, just that things have a chance to get better. Although there are some bad things coming up in the future, we will see how they turn out. Thanks.

Reviewer: TmC Signed
Date: 11/24/14 Title: Chapter 8: Eager For a Fight

You both created a question and answered it. And i was just about to scroll down and type the question into the comment box. When one of your characters answered asked the question for me.

Here's an idea for Ricki. Next time, when she's throwing something with wind. Remove all the air between her and her target. No air resistance=faster throwing speed. Plus if she initially accelerates the object with wind when throwing it, it will be scary fast. That would require extremely fine control though. Nothing a training montage can't fix.

Author's Response: That is a cool idea, that I hadn't thought of. It may come up. What exactly was the question? Also, I am not stalking my stories, I was just about to shut everything down and saw that I had a new email. Good night.

Reviewer: TmC Signed
Date: 11/25/14 Title: Chapter 1: The Morrig

It was, how come Ricki could suddenly move properly when she was in the air.

Author's Response: I'd actually thought about all these aspects before starting the story. She was injected with the raw essence of Techs power, so she can't really control it, especially when she's just using physical force. But when her own powers are channeled around it, they work better. Not perfectly but better. I figured it would make her interesting with a few surprises.

Reviewer: TmC Signed
Date: 11/27/14 Title: Chapter 1: The Morrig

Ricki is a lot scarier when she's mad then Tech ever was. With Tech you always felt like he was a good guy underneath, like he'd only go after the bad guys. Ricki looks like she'd go after someone regardless of the human collateral around her.

Also Eye see is very adept at manipulating her team into doing what she wants.

Author's Response: Yep. With Tech, he was a nice guy forced by desperation to do bad things. Ricki was a nice girl who has turned away from the good because she's been hurt so badly. This is something of a turning point for Ricki. Which way she turns you'll have to wait and see. Eye See was inspired by Amanda Waller of DC Comics. She runs the Suicide Squad which is full of psychotic super villains and stares down Batman.

Reviewer: TmC Signed
Date: 11/27/14 Title: Chapter 1: The Morrig

I don't have much experience with comics except for the more popular characters. We don't get much of those over here, and if we do then they're quite expensive. So I've no idea who that is :)

Author's Response: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ruwIBT-noAs https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L5vbFgrV93A

Reviewer: TmC Signed
Date: 11/28/14 Title: Chapter 1: The Morrig

That's even worse. I'm reading and posting with my phone and the Internet speed is terrible at the moment. I'll check out the DC wiki later though, that'll tell me all I need to know.

Author's Response: We'll suffice it to say, Waller is a bad a** who faces down the big shots in The DC universe.

Reviewer: TmC Signed
Date: 11/29/14 Title: Chapter 10: FIGHT ME!

Well that's it. She's finally snapped. (unless this is just a crack, and the snapping comes later.)

I always thought you'd break them before putting them back together.

Author's Response: When something is too badly damaged, sometimes it's best to break it for parts.

Reviewer: TmC Signed
Date: 11/29/14 Title: Chapter 10: FIGHT ME!

Well that's it. She's finally snapped. (unless this is just a crack, and the snapping comes later.)

I always thought you'd break them before putting them back together.

Reviewer: TmC Signed
Date: 12/21/14 Title: Chapter 12: Hurt

I'm enjoying this story quite a bit. It's a lot more 'real' if you can call it that than tech. You can see how you're improving as a writer.

Author's Response: Thank you. Like I said Tech was my big experiment, and I'm happy with it because of how much I learned, but it had some serious problems. Glad I've learned from my mistakes.

Reviewer: TmC Signed
Date: 01/02/15 Title: Chapter 13: Out of Control

She was in 'the zone' there.

Why'd you tell us about the bad things going to happen? Now I'm anticipating the worst. Which is kinda justifies given your track record.

Author's Response: Well I have someone intent on killing the Morrig coming soon who can control emotion in a crowd of people, and two Chosen with extreme mental problems. II want people anticipating the worst. :-)

Reviewer: TmC Signed
Date: 01/04/15 Title: Chapter 14: Trust

Sorry for the lateness of this review. It's a little scary how easily she can manipulate people. Is no one immune?

Author's Response: Strong willed people can be, especially if she makes them do something they are really opposed to. So far the only strong willed person she's used it on hasn't had any reason to suspect something odd.. And she is suppose to be scary.

[The real story begins at chapter 3]"Have you heard of the Black Swordsman?" "No, who is he?" | "The rapier, halberd, bow, magic, black clothes, no way it's the Black Swordsman!" | "Hey missy, who do you think you are barging in here?" "Black hair, black clothes, red eyes..." The man broke into a laughing fit. "Look guys we have a Black Swordsman Impersonator." I sighed, "not an impersonator, I was taught by the Black Swordsman himself." I lied.
Rated: Deviant 12 Reviews starstarstarstar Story Incomplete Reads: 4291 Words: 3308 Chapters: 3 Table of Contents
Categories: Magical Gender Change
Characters: Male to Female, Teen (13-19 yrs)
Motivation for Change: Forced
Personality: Bad to Good, Good to Bad, Loses Identity
Story Theme: Comedy, Distant Future, Everyday Living, Witchcraft
Type of Change: Fast/Instant Change
Warnings: Death, Intense Violence
Series: None
Published: 11/16/14
Updated: 11/29/14
Reviewer: TmC Signed
Date: 11/30/14 Title: Chapter 3: Chapter 3: Magic

You've lost me. I've no idea what happened in this chapter.

You get hired by a mysterious company for a fabulous sum - for research they can't talk about. You take the job, of course. And you wake up ... elsewhere.
Rated: Adult 25 Reviews starstarstarstarstar Completed Story Reads: 17370 Words: 11505 Chapters: 5 Table of Contents
Categories: Sci-Fi Gender Change
Characters: Male to Female, Young Adult (20-26 yrs)
Series: The Dave Conspiracy
Published: 11/17/14
Updated: 11/20/14
Reviewer: TmC Signed starstarstarstarstar
Date: 11/23/14 Title: Chapter 5: Happily ever

Brilliant, Simply brilliant. Now I'm pining to be a Dave myself, or at least have his/her house. That computer would really help with finishing up NaNoWriMo. You've somehow captured a snapshot of that world by feeding us only a small bit and leaving our imaginations to fill in the rest. Though you did loose me a bit at the language Jargon.

I'm feeling quite inspired by your story at the moment so I'm off to write mt story using a combination of smoke signals and my own version of pig Latin. (bad writing humour)

Author's Response: The Dave Conspiracy makes money off the Sapir-Whorf Hypothesis. Once I realized that, I basically *had* to build a language. I'm glad you liked it! The workroom actually came first. The reason for it, and its world, accreted around that like the pearl around an irritant.

Reviewer: TmC Signed
Date: 11/23/14 Title: Chapter 5: Happily ever

I'm a bit confused, and I've read this three times now. What exactly is the 'primary product'? Is it languages?

Author's Response: The Sapir-Whorf Hypothesis is that the language you think in constrains what you think. The *strong* Sapir-Whorf Hypothesis is that the language you think in constrains what you *can* think. If we assume (which these stories do) that a human mind is a collection of memes - ideas and concepts bound together by linguistic constructs - then we could construct a language that, if learned, would optimize certain meme structures in the human mind that learned it. The idea here is that the primary product is those meme structures, in Dave/April's mind after she learns tsintokna, which has been built specifically to map onto SOMETHING that we are not told. After she learns the language, her mental structures are harvested, as a bilingual tsintokna/English speaker. As, in fact, the *only* bilingual tsintokna speaker. But because the Daves have technology that permits mental structures to be copied and recombined, you only need one.

Reviewer: TmC Signed
Date: 11/24/14 Title: Chapter 1: Employee disorientation

I did find out about the hypothesis after you mentioned it, I'm more inclined to the strong hypothesis though. It makes a bit of sense. If your culture has no word for something like a hug, no way to even express it, how would it even occur to you to hug someone unless you see it occurring another culture. (ok a hug is maybe a bad example since everyone does it, but you get my point.) therefore the more languages you know the better you can express yourself as it opens up new avenue of thought and concepts that you just can't find in your native language.

This story has really got me thinking. Thank you for that.

Author's Response: It does sound plausible; so far studies have been relatively inconclusive, but if you look at the vastly different ways that some Native American languages in particular organize the world (seeing time differently and so on) you can't help but wonder, and it *feels* right. Unfortunately, it's very difficult to test, because we don't have many people in the world who are not thoroughly exposed to technoculture. Virtual humans, though, could have any culture you like - assuming a sufficiency of computing resources, which of course make our entire planet's computation capacity today look insignificant. But then - your phone contains more computing power than the entire United States of America had in 1960, so project that out, and virtual humans start to sound believable.

What happens when a pretty offworlder sweeps you off your feet? What would you do to make her feel at home?
Rated: Explicit 4 Reviews starstarstarstarstar Completed Story Reads: 7171 Words: 8103 Chapters: 5 Table of Contents
Categories: Sci-Fi Gender Change
Characters: Female to Male, Adult (27-62 yrs)
Series: The Dave Conspiracy
Published: 11/22/14
Updated: 11/25/14
Reviewer: TmC Signed starstarstarstar
Date: 11/23/14 Title: Chapter 1: I meet Efrilu

I actually read this one first. The synopsis of the first one didn't really draw me in, but this one did. It works fine if you read either one first. I'm just reading it again so that it can make even more sense.

Author's Response: Interesting! Thanks!

Reviewer: TmC Signed
Date: 11/23/14 Title: Chapter 1: I meet Efrilu

This has rabidly become one of my favourite stories on this site. I guess I've read a themethemeqon too many stories with fighting in them. It's nice to have a break from that.

Author's Response: I'm happy you like it!

This is a little backgrounder for anybody interested in what I was thinking about in Scratch and Maaru's Story.
Rated: Kid-Friendly 1 Reviews Completed Story Reads: 765 Words: 1833 Chapters: 1 Table of Contents
Categories: Non-Story
Characters: None
Series: The Dave Conspiracy
Published: 11/24/14
Updated: 11/24/14
Reviewer: TmC Signed
Date: 11/24/14 Title: Chapter 1: Dave talks

"Meatspace." best word ever. I've never encountered a story such as this. It seems like you've worked so hard on all these concepts that you find in the story. There's so much detail.

Author's Response: You should read Charlie Stross, then. Accelerando is a story of the Singularity. The Singularity being the Vinge Singularity, so I recommend reading Vernor Vinge as well. I'm hardly writing in a vacuum here - and as much as I'd like to take credit, I didn't come up with the word "meatspace", either. You don't hear it as much as you used to, because it was the flip side of "cyberspace", which nobody uses unironically these days.

Short stories for the Far From Home Series. These are canon stories, introducing potential future characters, expanding on Pat and her companions and showing off some more of their new world. Ranging from freakish to funny, sad and joyful.
Rated: Adult 9 Reviews starstarstarstarstar Story Incomplete Reads: 6049 Words: 11291 Chapters: 7 Table of Contents
Categories: Sci-Fi Gender Change
Characters: Female to Male, Adult (27-62 yrs), Male to Female, Adult (27-62 yrs)
Turned Into: Clothing, Mannequin
Featured Items: Corsets, Petticoat, Lace, Ruffles, Crinoline
Body Modification: Permanent Cosmetics
Motivation for Change: Accident
Story Theme: Beauty/Fashion, Costume or Halloween
Type of Change: Changed by Clothing, Fast/Instant Change, Stuck
Series: Far From Home
Published: 11/25/14
Updated: 12/20/14
Reviewer: TmC Signed
Date: 11/26/14 Title: Chapter 1: Fashion Monster

A cereal killer huh. Better hide the corn flakes. The though of waking up like the was quite unnerving.

As for the first one, well, that was a little creepy as well. For a moment I thought I was reading from the brave new world universe because it seems to fit in with that world quite well.

I had my own idea of a writer finishing up his manuscript when the the shift occurred. He wakes up being only able to speak lines from his manuscript. (which, depending on what kind of book he was writing could be quite entertaining) and he has some kind of effect on anything written down in the area. Perhaps he just *knows* all the information that written down on paper around him. And can control the ink on the page rearranging it, forming pictures, changing details stuff like that.

Last thing, what do you call the earth where they (Pat, Michelle, these guys) are all transported to? Alternate earth? The no-oreo zone? Noreo for short.

Author's Response: I don't know, with Brave New World, most of the Chosen are still human looking. Except for Angel, the most inhuman ones tend to be my characters. With Far From Home, I'm definitely leaning towards the bizarre. The book guy sounds cool, mind if I steal him, he'd be interesting as a minor character. For your question I just call it Earth in my head. If I had to call it something I guess M-Earth, pronounced like Mirth. Anyways thanks for the comment. It seems I hit the right tones. Cheers

Reviewer: TmC Signed
Date: 11/27/14 Title: Chapter 1: Fashion Monster

Go ahead, not like I'm gonna do anything with him. I thought you died or something when you didn't respond to the review right away.

Author's Response: I do sleep sometimes.

Reviewer: TmC Signed
Date: 12/07/14 Title: Chapter 3: Can't Sleep

That was great. I'd be really interested in seeing what happened at Pat's home.

Author's Response: I may do one, right now I'm too busy with editing the last two chapters of this for kindle and working on Slave of the Fae. I've really expanded the plot lines for that story with the last chapter.

Reviewer: TmC Signed
Date: 12/09/14 Title: Chapter 4: Illusions and Lies

What is your plan for these exactly? Are you going to slide them into the main far from home story?

That was a great chapter. I thought Pat had really shot that guy before you mentioned that it was only a taser.

Author's Response: I'll keep them here only. These are sort of sneak peeks into the finished version for fans, and I'd have to change too many things in the rest of the story for it to fit. Also the last two stories are the final changes to the actual completed story. The non-Pat stories are more for fun, practice and testing out characters. Like I knew I wanted a shape shifter d a cloth creature to show up in the main story, but didn't know anything else. By writing them here, I got them worked out in my head and people find it entertaining, win-win. Finally, thanks, I was hoping to trick people into thinking Pat was a bit homicidal with that.

On thanksgiving a trans girl prepares to come out to her family. A mysterious entity wreaks havoc on an adult film set. While experimenting with each other’s sexual fantasies, a man learns more about his partner than he bargained for. These are just some of the stories on offer in this collection of short, short fiction by twelve different voices in TG Fiction. [Includes an interview with Dorothy Colleen.]
Rated: Explicit 4 Reviews starstarstarstarstar Completed Story Reads: 28562 Words: 8868 Chapters: 16 Table of Contents
Reviewer: TmC Signed
Date: 11/26/14 Title: Chapter 16: Afterword

This was awesome. But Diabolical takes the cake for me.

Author's Response: I thought that was an awesome story to. A_Kent