Date: 07/18/13 09:19 pm Title: Chapter 1
A few rough edges to be sure, but you have the potential to be a very good writer. Although I think you over-reached yourself with the scope of this story, packing too much into too confined a space, it came together fairly well in the end.
Date: 07/18/13 10:55 am Title: Chapter 1
I disagree. I think it was very well written. Very realistic in content and feelings.