You must login (register) to review.
Reviewer: Jinxd Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 07/29/15 12:21 am Title: Chapter 1

I liked where you ended things! I also think you did a good job on the action and the writing in general.

My only complaint is that the TG aspects of the story were not so compelling compared to the rest of it.

I liked how you mentioned how it was more difficult for them to do certain things (loot the bodies) than it was when it was "just a game". It always weirds me out how everyone I play D&D (Etc) with are always such sociopaths, attacking without asking questions etc.

I love the "stuck in an RPG world" concept in general (sword art online/log horizon/etc) and I think you wrote it well.

Reviewer: The Wedge Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/03/14 05:55 am Title: Chapter 6

Awsome! Not familiar with the game system used but still awsome! I love these kind of stories and your sad ending despite the parties survival was great too. I was looking foward to Phillip coming into the story at some point as the shadow dragon but that would have been a much longer story that I would also like to read.

Reviewer: Maryjane Signed Report
Date: 03/20/14 04:36 pm Title: Chapter 6

This was a great story, make a good movie.

Reviewer: Maryjane Signed Report
Date: 03/19/14 08:18 pm Title: Chapter 1

This is really a great beginning.

Reviewer: Held back apocalypse Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 02/13/14 10:57 pm Title: Chapter 1

Love this story, love you! Just wanted to get that out before I got serious with you. I bet I can guess why you lost steam on this series. The simple answer is that you got to manny ideas in your head as to how to possibly proceed. Well, seeing as you helped me and my brother get into D&D, (best game EVER, by the way) I wanted to help out by giving you a campaign setting and some pointers for your story. This may take a while, so I'll start with the pointers first.

1. More races are needed; in D&D, there are a multitude of races that you can play as, yet you only chose the most common two to start with. While I say this, I realize that this may simply be TO SART WITH. I've been reading up on writing fictional books, and I realize how hard it is to create a different personality for a person each time the group changes, and I can only imagine how hard that is if you have to throw race in there. But I do recommend more variety. One race that few people know about from D&D is the changeling, and might help make things simple for the political scale, seeing that they can become whoever they want.

(Sorry, but I have some work to do right now, but I'll continue latter.

Reviewer: Kathy Leigh Signed starstarstarstarhalf-star Report
Date: 04/29/13 07:42 pm Title: Chapter 1

Thank you for a wonderful story with wonderful people.

Your portrait of the football player become mother-earth priestess is the most convincing gender mind change I have ever seen put to paper.

I hope as do others that there is a part two but I will add that the bittersweet ending is what distinguishes this story from some of the more mundane writing on this site.


Kathy Leigh

Reviewer: TheMadPoet Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 03/15/13 03:36 am Title: Chapter 1

I love this story! If you make some improvments, I think you could publish this.

Reviewer: Elizabeth Mondalimare Signed Report
Date: 02/06/13 06:03 am Title: Chapter 1

Outstanding twists and turns with an engaging plot. The writers craftsmanship is solid.

Reviewer: Kaastosti Signed starstarhalf-star Report
Date: 02/04/13 02:47 am Title: Chapter 6

Book 2? I like the ending

Reviewer: Grog Signed Report
Date: 02/03/13 11:34 pm Title: Chapter 1

Great story!

Reviewer: Dayna Signed starstarstarstarhalf-star Report
Date: 02/03/13 12:19 am Title: Chapter 1

*spoiler alert* I'm gong to give away some of the plot. do not scroll down unless you don't mind reading into the story...


What possesed you to restore them back to the beginning? I hope you plan to write more or I will be sorely displeased! I was liking the story. Then you pulled a "Dallas" on us!


Reviewer: Kaastosti Signed starstarstarstarhalf-star Report
Date: 01/28/13 11:39 pm Title: Chapter 1

Good beginning

Reviewer: Portia Bennett Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 01/28/13 04:29 pm Title: Chapter 2

I'm not a gamer; however, I find some of these stroies quite interesting. I think I just enjoy the fantasy aspect. I find this story to be well written and quite entertaining. I hope it is completed, or at least that the author knows where it is going to end up. It distresses me when the author doesn't have any idea where the story is going, runs out of gas, and then leaves us hanging. Hopefully, that's not the case here.

You must login (register) to review.
TG Storytime uses the eFiction engine and Vanilla discussions. Design by J6P.