Date: 04/26/13 10:54 pm Title: Chapter 2
You're clearly a competent writer, and you know how to marry images with text, so I'll be blunt.
This story seems to be about how far do you go for a fuck. Nothing wrong with that, but it needs more internal dialogue. I once let a girl paint my nails because I enjoyed the attention as well as the unspoken permission to rest my hand in her lap, but I won't pretend that the episode didn't provoke a hell of a lot of conflicting emotions, not the least of which was a self-deprecating sense of guilt, though I'd done nothing wrong. And the next day, when I walked into my local to watch the football...
You see the possibilities this kind of fiction can throw up?
Author's Response: Thanks. I understand your point of view and will keep it in my mind as the story moves on further. Thanks