Reviews For Hawaiian Retreat
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Reviewer: Jennifer Brock Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 09/22/20 05:08 am Title: Chapter 5

Why did it take me til this chapter to realize that the parents named their twins "Donnie & Marie"?

Author's Response: Haha. One of several jokes I put into this story. When I started this story, i had two goals. 1) To write in first person, which I hadnít really done before, and 2) To weave in a few things that I found funny. Donnie and Marie was one of those things. Iím glad you spotted it.

Reviewer: Amanda Lynn Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 09/20/20 11:35 pm Title: Chapter 1

Ah, so you write like I do, you start with an idea and then let the story write itself as it goes.
It is amazing where the story takes you when you can do this. The one I'm ending now I never planned the ending, but it couldn't have had a better one if I had.
I absolutely love your stories, you never let me down.

Author's Response: Sometimes, I know, others, like this one, are more organic. I certainly knew certain things I wanted included - blackouts, saying I love you since childhood, etc, but I find that if you make the character human, she will not lead you astray.

Reviewer: Holly Snow Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 09/20/20 09:47 am Title: Chapter 5

I don't know whether I love or hate finding a new chapter of this story. I love it because I get to visit with these characters that I've come to love and find out what they are up to, and I hate it because I know that all too soon, I'm going to come to the end of the chapter and I'm here again, checking daily to see if a new chapter has arrived. Thank you for such a wonderful story!

Author's Response: Thank you Holly. It'll be at least a few days before the next installment is posted. Thank you for sticking with Donnie and Mitch and me!

Reviewer: Amanda Lynn Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 09/20/20 02:28 am Title: Chapter 1

Wonderful chapter! I hope you get to the wedding.
I want to read so much more of this story.

Author's Response: Thank you, Amanda! If she tells me that part, Iíll write it!

Reviewer: Elizabeth Rees Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 09/19/20 11:53 pm Title: Chapter 1

How did I overlook this story until now?! This is amazingly well-written, wonderful stuff! Apart from the misunderstanding with Mitch, Dawn is having a perfect new life.

Author's Response: Thank you, so much. Into every life, a little rain must fall and thatís what happened between Mitch and Donnie, but true love conquers all. Thereís still a little more of Donnieís story to tell. I hope youíll stick with her a bit longer.

Reviewer: artistlibre Signed Report
Date: 09/19/20 04:59 pm Title: Chapter 1

Sure, I would happily look forward to where she takes us, no matter how much chapters. She's starting to show a lot of potential. It's in my wish list, to see that how she would turn out to be a teacher, and how would she face her wedding. Yet, I will wait until things are unfolding naturally for Dawn, Clara. I respect, how much hard work you are putting into this.

Author's Response: Thank you, so much! There is a little more of Donnieís story to be told. Itíll post fairly soon.

Reviewer: Casey Thompson Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 09/19/20 05:09 am Title: Chapter 5

I'm just loving this excellent, excellent story!!!!!

Author's Response: Iím so happy that youíre enjoying it, Casey! Please stick with Donnie a bit longer. Her story isnít over just yet.

Reviewer: Andrea DiMaggio Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 09/19/20 04:21 am Title: Chapter 5

a huge relief

"I was suddenly startled by that statement. Until that morning, she was right - I’d always felt safe with Mitch"

Author's Response: Yeah, Mitch seems like a good guy, at least the way that Donnie describes him to me.

Reviewer: artistlibre Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 09/19/20 03:30 am Title: Chapter 5

:-) "Hawaiian Wedding"... probably, a dumb reviewer's idea. Loving it!

Author's Response: Iím glad youíre enjoying it! Donnieís story isnít over, yet. Stick with her for at least one more chapter.

Reviewer: robertlouis Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 09/19/20 02:35 am Title: Chapter 1

A sweet story with a happy ending, made special because of that Clara magic.

Enjoyed it from beginning to end. I bet you enjoyed writing it too.

Author's Response: Thank you, Robert, and I hope that youíre feeling better these days and that being grandpa is agreeing with you. There is a bit more of Donnieís story left to tell, though. Sheís telling it to me and Iím writing it down!

Reviewer: HeatherNYon Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 09/19/20 01:32 am Title: Chapter 5

I so much needed this today. Thank you.

Author's Response: Iím so glad you liked it! There is a bit more of Donnieís story left to tell, though.

Reviewer: Wispy Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 09/19/20 12:54 am Title: Chapter 5

After a black out event I had when I was 18 or so I pretty much stopped drinking aside from the odd drink socially or with a meal. An an age before you American's can even legally drink.

Author's Response: Although Iíve never had a drink, I am old enough that I was of legal drinking age at 18. People born in my birth year were the last to be able to say that. Obviously, if I never drank, I never experienced a blackout, but I was on the ĎI had no idea you were that drunkí end of the story more than a few times.

Reviewer: jaime Signed starstarstarstar Report
Date: 09/14/20 08:57 pm Title: Chapter 1

Wonderful story, am giving it a 4 and not a 5 because I'm not sure how I feel about the way this chapter ended.

Second night in a row that Donnie "blacks out" and doesn't remember things. Mitch has been a best friend forever - was Donnie's low alchohol tolerance not known before this trip? And even if it wasn't, shouldn't "best friend Mitch" have been more mindful of the situation after the first night's blackout?

I expect that following chapters will bring some reconciliation, but as written, this appears to be a case of Mitch taking unfair advantage - approaching, if not becoming date rape.

Author's Response: Thanks for the four stars. If I didnít explain that Donnie was very good at covering the fact that heíd blacked out, then I donít deserve that 5th star! 😁😁😁 I donít know if youíve ever been with someone who has blacked out, but I have and I wasnít always aware that she was not conscious. That is what I was trying to express, but I shall do better in the future. Thank you for your review! I truly appreciate it!

Reviewer: Sophie Stephens Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 09/13/20 07:32 pm Title: Chapter 1

When I posted my Review the rating somehow went astray. Five stars from me!

Author's Response: Thank you!

Reviewer: Sophie Stephens Signed Report
Date: 09/13/20 11:13 am Title: Chapter 1

So, when Donnie enters an alcohol-induced functioning blackout does Dawn take over and follow her desires without inhibitions? Oh to have been a fly on the wall when the pubic heart was revealed.... and much more besides.

Author's Response: I think weíre all wondering the same thing!

Reviewer: artistlibre Signed Report
Date: 09/13/20 09:46 am Title: Chapter 1

Thank you. Now, I understand it.

Author's Response: Thank you for asking!

Reviewer: LisaKheels Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 09/13/20 12:47 am Title: Chapter 4B

Love how Dawn/Donnie is growing into her role. I can hardly wait for the next installment. She sure seems to be having the desired effect on the other wires and making Mitch a star for the firm.

Hope my rating of 5 is for the high side as this seems to be pretty good story.

Author's Response: Lisa - thank you for your kind, supportive words and high rating. Iím very happy that youíre enjoying the story and I hope you enjoy wherever Donnie takes us.

Reviewer: artistlibre Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 09/12/20 06:11 pm Title: Chapter 4B

Donnie is mad, because she couldn't feel the maiden experience of being a woman. Take care of her, Clara! She may need a woman's shoulder to cry this time.

Side note: Not sure how there is a word limit this time though.

Author's Response: I think that Donnie is as scared as she is angry. Sacred of (possibly) having been violated and scared of having actually wanted to have done what she did. Storytime allows up to 15,000 words per post. I usually look to make my chapters 25 to 28 pages long and that typically avoids exceeding 15,000 words. My work tends to have a lot more dialog, which leads to short paragraphs, but since this one is in first person, the narration leads to longer passages and thatís how I exceeded the limit by more than 1500 words. I considered editing some out, but chose to split the chapter in two instead.

Reviewer: Andrea DiMaggio Signed Report
Date: 09/12/20 05:50 pm Title: Chapter 4B

“You love me!?” I shrieked even more angered at having heard those words. “ then, why did you rape me!?“ I felt betrayed. I felt used. I felt alone. I felt trapped. Did he really do that to me!? Had I actually agreed…

Oh, God, what the Hell had I done? This isn't mere anger. This is confusion and fear and guilt. And she says it - "I felt betrayed." I'm not sure what happened, but the fact that she isn't sure saddens me. Great as always!

Author's Response: Thereís a lot to unwrap here. Donnie has given me a lot to think about!

Reviewer: Amanda Lynn Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 09/12/20 03:18 pm Title: Chapter 1

Oof! Thank God there was no need to get rid of a body! Lol.
Great read. Donnie is only mad because she got what she wanted.

Author's Response: I think sheís working through an awful lot. Self discovery is one of the hardest parts of life.

Reviewer: Roadbandit Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 09/12/20 12:39 pm Title: Chapter 4B

OMG,those two chapters were awesome ! You really stepped it up since the Bebe stories. You could do easily 3 or 4 storylines off these characters.

Author's Response: Thank you so much! Iím so happy youíre enjoying it!

Reviewer: miss_circe Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 09/12/20 09:19 am Title: Chapter 3

Loving this so far. Great characters and lots of fun and interesting situations. What a cliffhanger! I’m excited to see where this goes. Thanks for writing.

Author's Response: Well, thank you for reading it, Miss Circe. I hope you enjoy the next installment as well. Thank you, again.

Reviewer: vanillathunder Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 09/07/20 03:53 pm Title: Chapter 3

Ooh! The plot thickens! I can't believe I forgot to leave a rating for the first two chapters, but I'll just do it all here. I love how detailed this story is, and I like how Donnie and Mitch's relationship is developing. Can't wait for more!

Author's Response: Thank you! I hope you like where it leads us.

Reviewer: Amanda Lynn Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 09/07/20 11:52 am Title: Chapter 1

Oh no! No a good time for Nancy to show up. Now gotta figure out how to hide a body!
Loving this Clara. Can't wait for your next update.

Author's Response: Oh, my God! You certainly leapt to the darkest outcome!!! I hope that homicide wonít be necessary!🤣🤣🤣

Reviewer: Wispy Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 09/07/20 06:29 am Title: Chapter 3

lets hope there is less turbulence with ex wife Nancy than there was with sister Nancy.

Author's Response: Hahaha - You are the first to comment on that. I really like the name ĎNancy.í In my neighborhood growing up there were Kathys, Barbaras and Nancys. I hope Iím not overusing it. I THINK this is just the second time. Good catch, though! Thanks for reading!

Reviewer: Casey Thompson Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 09/07/20 05:38 am Title: Chapter 3

Oh, my! Just gets better and better. I love it, sweetie.

Author's Response: Thank you, Casey! Iím glad youíre enjoying it!

Reviewer: Lailaluvs00 Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 09/06/20 09:00 pm Title: Chapter 3

Lol, great cliffhanger! Now I can't wait for the next chapter!

Author's Response: Iím writing as quickly as I can!!! Thanks for reading!!!

Reviewer: Roadbandit Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 09/06/20 08:46 pm Title: Chapter 3

Ohhh yes you just though a monkey wrench into the mix! Awesome chapter. I think you can make a three part series from these characters! Your next Bebe!

Author's Response: Hahaha! Thank you!

Reviewer: artistlibre Signed Report
Date: 09/06/20 08:07 pm Title: Chapter 1

Plot thickens, as the Past threatens, before Mitch stiffens! Dear heavens!

Author's Response: Hahahaha! Youíre brilliant! Thank you!

Reviewer: artistlibre Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 09/02/20 05:52 am Title: Chapter 1

Surprisingly speedy, yet with necessary breaks - confusions before conclusions. Perfect recipe for Dawn's first person narrative this time, than the last chapter. Keep awaiting for tans and taqilas:-)

Author's Response: Sometimes the conditions allow for a quick chapter. The tans and tequilas are coming!

Reviewer: Roadbandit Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 09/02/20 02:01 am Title: Chapter 2

Awesome second chapter! I can’t wait for the Hawaii chapters. Very well written!

Author's Response: Me neither! I always seem to create roadblocks to my own payoffs. Itís coming, though!

Reviewer: Lailaluvs00 Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 09/02/20 01:42 am Title: Chapter 2

Love at first cross dress? ;-)

Author's Response: Nice turn of phrase!

Reviewer: Lailaluvs00 Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 09/01/20 07:09 am Title: Chapter 1

Fun!

Author's Response: Thank you!

Reviewer: artistlibre Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 08/30/20 05:44 pm Title: Chapter 1

Hi, Clara! At last, registered with the site, just to review your story (no flattery! I'm fan of your writing right from the Bebe series.) This is the first time I happen to write a word on your writing. The way you central characters beat the s**t out of gender dimorphism is always the coolest part for me. You are one of my favourite inspirations in LGBT literature. Looking forward with how D(aw/o)n proceeds with the gender-def(y/in)ing trip. Kudos to you!

End notes: Always love where you cheekily use pop-references for character visualisations. Velma. LOL!

Author's Response: Wow, Iím so flattered. Thank you. Bebe was a special girl. I enjoyed that series, too. I hope you enjoy where Dawn takes us, too. Iím kind of excited to see where she goes.

Reviewer: Amanda Lynn Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 08/30/20 02:55 pm Title: Chapter 1

Clara, if you were a baseball team, you'd win the World Series because you hit it out of the park every time you step up to the plate!
This is another home run.
No wonder you're my favorite author.

Author's Response: Oh, arenít you sweet! Thank you so much for your review and your support!

Reviewer: Casey Thompson Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 08/30/20 07:18 am Title: Chapter 1

Oh, honey! What marvelous fun! I'm hooked. Can't wait to read more.

Author's Response: Thank you, Casey! Iím so happy youíre enjoying it!

Reviewer: robertlouis Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 08/30/20 05:37 am Title: Chapter 1

You never disappoint, Clara. This is already shaping up very nicely indeed.

Author's Response: Thanks, Robert! I hope youíre feeling better and enjoying your grandchild!

Reviewer: Roadbandit Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 08/29/20 10:34 pm Title: Chapter 1

Clara this first chapter was awesome! This storyline looks fantastic so far.

Author's Response: Oh, gee, thanks! Iím really glad you liked it! I jumped up into it kind of quickly, so I was a bit concerned about how it would be received. Also, I donít usually write in the first person. Thank you so, so much for your support!!!

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