Date: 09/27/20 12:10 am Title: Epilogue - Roles
Great story. It was different with the second person/present tense, but I got used it it pretty quick.
It's honestly kind of sad what happened to Clark/Claire. The moment he put on that tiara, his fate was sealed. She was wrong to think that she was the one that killed Clark, because it was definitely Sophie that did it. Whatever wish Sophie made seemed to make it so that Clark would inevitably become her little sister no matter what.
I like how Claire turned out though. It was a good ending, and I'd love to see a continuation of her adventures as she continues to grow along with her magic prowess. Well written, and fun story. Great job!
Date: 09/10/20 05:58 pm Title: Chapter 1 - Sleepover
At first the second-person POV was strange to me. I had trouble putting myself into Clark/Claire’s POV. Eventually it became more of a 3rd-person read for me, and I’d get thrown by the “you do this”s that occurred.
However! This story still deserves five stars. It’s well thought out, thorough in its explanations and in its relationships. It’s a lovely story where very little against-your-own-will compulsion occurs, which I think is important when telling a story about a child.
It’s a story about siblings, about coming into your own, and about exploring the fantastical world of magics. The changing scene at the beginning was fun from a sissification sort of view, but went beyond that into actual age regression and gender transformation in a really, really fun way. Initially I might have put this story down due to the 2nd-person POV, but after that scene I was hooked. :)
Do yourself a favor and read this story. It’s wonderful.
Date: 09/10/20 01:46 am Title: Epilogue - Roles
Finally finished reading this long story, thanks, I enjoyed it. Unusual premise and style (2nd person narrative is it called?) Pretty well written and easy to follow. Stumbled over some of the apparent personality conflicts, it seemed Claire wasn't very consistent, but in real life we're all collections of many mental/emotional parts, so I can understand the polarized behaviors and feelings, and you did present them well.
Suggest next time, twice as many chapters, half as long? Several times had to quit reading mid-chapter and figure out later where to resume.
As someone else wrote, the absent parent(s) was hard to swallow, how do the two kids maintain their own home, get groceries, etc? Not really important to the story, but you might want to "hang a lantern" (as professional writers say) on this odd factoid, rather than leave it hanging out as a noticeable mystery.
Really enjoyed the presentation, use, and exploration of various magics. Even if unclear how the younger sister could change the older brother (Clark) so severely, and he/she couldn't defend against it or fix it. But again, not critical to the story you wrote.
Date: 09/05/20 08:29 pm Title: Chapter 3 - Compulsion
Wow, some sister. First "removes' the curse then just casts another one. God where are their parents? How is nothing being done to stop this abuse of power? Do they really just let their kids run willy nily with dangerous reality shifting powers?
Date: 09/05/20 08:18 pm Title: Chapter 2 - School
What the hell is this? How are these idiots mages/witches? They can't even tell when a spell is cast on someone? I mean Mrs Ebon probably does, she's a sadistic conservative piece of trash, but no one else can tell? God, they're all a bunch of losers
Date: 08/31/20 11:27 pm Title: Chapter 1 - Sleepover
I’ve been a lurker for years. I signed up simply because your story wasn’t getting the love it should. I too was upset she went back a few grades but that was part of your story’s charm: it made me feel and care. I’d happily follow your muse into this world again. In case that wasn’t clear, I want a sequel. Great work
Date: 08/29/20 10:13 am Title: Chapter 1 - Sleepover
Everything was going well till that part where the girls forced her to drop her advanced classes. What is this obssession with dumbing down people in stories? Poor Claire I just felt bad for her. It truly sickened me to see that happen to her. Why did you allowed them to get away with it? The corset should have fought the spell from the girls. After all the corset seems to believe that ladies make their best efforts.