Date: 07/30/20 03:58 am Title: Namesake 1 of 5
Interesting ending. Had to laugh at the Evensdale and Waterloo mention. I've lived with in a 30 min drive or less from there most of my life. Never would have expected to see those cities mentioned in a random story like this. Curious why you chose those cities for this story. As I mentioned in my first comment while your grammar could use some work don't worry about it to much. The story was still easy enough to follow and understand. Your grammar will improve over time if you wish to continue writing and I'll keep an eye out for other stories if you do. I really enjoyed this and look foward to seeing how you improve in the future.
Date: 07/16/20 06:14 pm Title: Namesake 1 of 5
Good start. Very imaginative, but with good details. Lots of suspense.
One thing that isn't real clear - is he in the body of a young girl, or does he believe he has been drugged to think that? I think he IS a young girl now, but he believes he is hallucinating because such a thing is not possible. But some of the context is misleading - the older man and woman calling him by his nickname, for example.
Can't wait for the next chapter to hopefully reveal more clues as to what has happened.