Date: 07/30/20 03:29 am Title: Chapter 1: Boys and Girls
Great story. Really loved how it turned out and while I can say the ending fits as an ending I really hope you continue Zacks story in the future. Would also be interested in reading about this universe beyond Zack and his mom. There is so much potential here it would be sad not to see it expanded on. Thanks for sharing and keep up the great work.
Date: 07/30/20 01:43 am Title: Chapter 1: Boys and Girls
I really liked how their own thoughts triggered their changes. It's like the magic has a potential energy that sits patiently waiting for permission to manifest. I hope we will see these characters again - thanks for the great story!
Date: 07/30/20 01:29 am Title: Chapter 7: A New Reality
Sorry I didn't mention the magick. I LOVE the idea that promises to reality is how you get magick. That was creative and really interesting. I hope to see more from this universe, that concept is amazing
Author's Response: Thanks for reading and leaving your thoughts! If I do get around to continuing this story I'll definitely need to tweak the magic system a bit more, but it would be fun to tell some more stories outside of just the one household.
Date: 07/30/20 12:37 am Title: Chapter 7: A New Reality
Wow... that was not what I was expecting. Well except for Leah staying, it was pretty heavily leading up to that. Who knows though, maybe they'll reverse in ten years, with Liam with his wife Zena or something. How else is he gonna be a good enchantress?
I'm certain though he'll be NOTHING like his mother. He might make mistakes, everyone does, but I don't think he'll just change lives willy nilly just to prove "lessons." Especially permanent changes like poor Mattie, who hopefully didn't have his sexuality screwed with but I fear the old woman doesn't know what a lesbian is.
Hopefully Zach is a much more progressive witch and even if you give someone a perm change, let them love who they love, don't play with their sexuality, that can be really really hurtful to them
I really enjoyed this story, thank you. This is a good ending, I really liked it
Date: 07/22/20 08:55 pm Title: Chapter 1: Boys and Girls
This was unexpected. I was thinking this was going to have a non-serious approach, but approached anyhow on a sleepy night. I don't think you've realized what you've done here. You've actually created a unique setting that has a lot of potential. How big is the Enchanter/Enchantress world. Think of scale, it can be as large as the Harry Potter world or as small as a handful of people. From a lot of our perspectives, Zach just got his metaphorical Hogwarts letter.(Sorry for all the HP references. I just watched the movie before I finished this.) I see that earlier you've stated that this isn't meant to be a long write, but if you wanted, this could be a huge thing.
All in all, great work.
Author's Response: Thanks for the review! And trust me, I'm a world builder first, storyteller second. Ever since I began writing chapter 5 I've been building out the world quite a bit just out of habit. If I do come back to this though, I'll need to make sure it's a worthwhile story, and I definitely need to flesh out the magic system more with the promises and secrets mechanic. But anyway, I'm glad you enjoyed how it turned out.
Date: 07/21/20 03:44 pm Title: Chapter 6: Enchanted
Really excellent, glad it turned out like that.
Out of all things, I really hope we see more of Zach. The way the story was told, it seems the power (and effects like promises and stuff) comes with a lot of responsibilities and a lot of situations that can be really ambiguos. If an experienced person like mom can get in those situations and, like we saw, take a road that may not be the most morally clear, then how would a newb like Zach do? While being a girl at the same time! That would be interesting to see.
Date: 07/20/20 03:51 pm Title: Chapter 1: Boys and Girls
Well, my ideas were that Zach was going to become magic but couldn't use it unless he was a girl and Leah would decide to remain a girl. How'd I do?
Author's Response: *spoilers* I'd say that's pretty close, if not spot on.
Date: 07/20/20 08:48 am Title: Chapter 6: Enchanted
Well then, that's quite a reveal o.o Still... it doesn't excuse what she did to Matt. I still see no reason that should have been done at all. Also this is gonna get trippy. I like that they have to be the opposite gender to use magick, that's so neat. Normally it'd be pretty normal but the fact it happens to girls too, now THAT is something new. I hope we see such an enchanter sometime
Author's Response: Haha yeah. The Matt/Mattie event could probably be a whole story in itself. There's more to that scenario than what was presented on the surface, but I'm not sure the details of that will get touched on in the remainder of this particular story. I curse myself by leaving dumb plot threads that beg to be expanded on XD. In terms of the magic system, it would have seemed weird if it only went one way, and there could be a lot of interesting situations that arise from the premise of people having to switch genders in order to use their power. I have a few character ideas for some other enchanters/enchantresses, but I don't think we'll get to see them in this installment assuming I do get around to a sequel if people want it. Thanks for the review!
Date: 07/20/20 05:59 am Title: Chapter 6: Enchanted
I love how this story is being written. I hope that this is just the start of Zach's adventures. I fear that this will be the full scope of the story, but there is a lot of potential in the world you've created.
Author's Response: lol. You did. It's actually a relief for me to know I left enough hints that someone could infer what was happening, and it didn't just seem like it came out of nowhere. Yeah the scope of this story is already beyond what I initially intended, so it's just going to be the story of this particular weekend. But there's definitely more story to tell, and I wouldn't be opposed to expanding on things further in a sequel if people want it. I have to get back to my main writing projects for now though.
Date: 07/14/20 02:38 pm Title: Chapter 5: Promises and Secrets
Oh, is it time for the reversal?
I think it is really cool what you did with the flashback of the promise... a subtle way to show that mom might not be doing this because she likes to. If so, I hope he accepts her gift... though he will probably not like it at first!
Date: 07/12/20 12:15 am Title: Chapter 5: Promises and Secrets
Zach's mom talked about her magic working by making promises and keeping secrets, what if EVERYTHING she is doing to Leah is really about Zach? What if all the things she is doing is to push Zach's promise and her secret to the limit so she can bestow magic on her son?
Though the question would then be, would Zach remain her son?
Author's Response: I'm not gonna say you guessed it, but... ;)
Date: 07/11/20 10:13 pm Title: Chapter 5: Promises and Secrets
Well that's not horrifying or anything. What in the world... I guess we're about to figure out what happens if he breaks his promise
Still.. his mother has extremely overstepped, she's changing peoples lives and playing with their reality without their consent. God only knows what she did to "Maddie" or what horrific plans she has for "Leah"
Author's Response: Thanks for the review. Lindsay's definitely up to something. The full extent of what happened to Matt/Mattie was described back in Chapter 1. As for Leah and Zach's fate, we'll have to see. ;)
Date: 07/11/20 04:02 pm Title: Chapter 1: Boys and Girls
Hmmm, I got some ideas of what's gonna happen but I really hope you surprise me.
I am loving this story so far.
Author's Response: Thank you for reading and for supporting. I really appreciate it! I'm curious what your ideas are. Chances are I might just surprise you solely because your ideas about what's going to happen probably make more sense than mine do lol.
Date: 07/05/20 05:37 am Title: Chapter 4: Talking to a Friend
It really seems like Zach's mother is just trying to ruin his life. She'd better have a real good reason for what she's doing, and better be ready to admit that she didn't handle it as well as she could have. If nothing else, changing someone's gender without their will, knowledge, and consent deserves an apology to Leah when she finally comes clean.
Date: 07/04/20 05:31 pm Title: Chapter 4: Talking to a Friend
I love how creepy you made her there, it fits her evil personality
Author's Response: Thanks! The funny part is I never really meant for her to be this devious. She's got a bit of a Loki vibe going on. Hopefully I'll get to show another side of her in the next couple chapters.
Date: 07/04/20 08:31 am Title: Chapter 4: Talking to a Friend
that's super creepy and fucked up at the end there.
Author's Response: Lol yeah. The whole story has actually become a lot creepier and more complex than I initially intended. I'm kind of enjoying building up some campy suspense though.
Date: 06/28/20 04:40 am Title: Chapter 3: The Girl in the Mirror
"Last day", huh? That's ominous!
Don't leave us hanging so long this time!
Author's Response: Haha yeah. What could she be alluding to I wonder? Thanks for the review. I plan to have one chapter released every week. Chapter 4 may be a little shorter this coming week because of other projects I have going on. I'll get it up as soon as I can though.
Date: 06/28/20 02:50 am Title: Chapter 3: The Girl in the Mirror
YES! Zach tell her that she's a sociopath, maybe that'll make her realize how evil she really is. It might make her change, or at least not screw your friend over permanently. To the evil woman: YOU CAN'T ASK HIM IF HE WANTS TO STAY A GIRL WHILE YOU BRAINWASH HIM TO WANT TO STAY A GIRL YOU EGOMANIACAL MONSTER!
Loving this, thank you!
Date: 06/22/20 01:01 am Title: Chapter 2: What is a Girl?
This is insane, the mom really thinks this is okay? I don't get why she thinks it's okay to mess with people's lives like this. Why not ask THEM if it's okay, has she never heard of consent? Especially when she makes permanent changes.... she's a freaking super villain or something
Author's Response: Haha yeah. She means well, but her heavy handedness and abuse of power doesn't make her very redeemable. (especially with the Matt/Mattie incident). It's hard to tell what's going on in her mind, or what ulterior motives are there. We'll see what happens. Thanks for the review.
Date: 06/22/20 01:00 am Title: Chapter 1: Boys and Girls
Permanently changing a 10 year old into a 16 year old girl babysitter? Wow... this mom really has no regard for personal identity AND making him like boys. Like.. .has she never heard of a lesbian? God she's homophobic and drunk with power, YIKES
Date: 06/20/20 01:05 am Title: Chapter 1: Boys and Girls
This is very interesting.
I feel mom is just a bit above 'mischievous'... maybe she has too much agency?
I think the story is hinting that there might be more to Zach than meets the eye, based on his interactions with mom's magic.... I just hope there is no character death in this.
Author's Response: That's an interesting theory, and a pretty dark twist lol. We'll see what happens.
Date: 06/16/20 04:07 am Title: Chapter 1: Boys and Girls
Good story but be careful with not mixing up the characters. There were a few instances in which you had Liam when I think you meant Zach. I look forward to the next chapter.
Author's Response: Fixed now. Thank you for pointing that out. It helps to have proof readers. They actually had different names in the beginning so I guess I messed myself up on that one.