Date: 06/30/20 10:20 pm Title: Chapter Four: New Blood
The turn on Verne being a vampire is quite unexpected and also made me lose interest in the story.
Author's Response: I'm sorry you didn't like it, but there *are* vampire fangs right on the cover, and the story description notes: "A story of vampires, witchcraft, and unexpected transformations." If you didn't want vampires, this was never a promising story to start.
Date: 06/24/20 03:06 am Title: Chapter One: Symptoms
Great stuff! I was all scared that there would be be a cliche of "i'm a good person i don't kill people" , but the author didn't disappoint. So nice to get real vampire as main character with out the sparkles and being a "vegetarian".
Author's Response: Vera's going to try to be a moral vampire - at least so far - but it isn't always so easy. We'll see her venture into morally questionable territory at least a few times. It kinda comes with being a vampire.
Date: 06/23/20 02:18 am Title: Chapter Eight: Killer Instincts
Poor Vera, as much as it will probably make her suffer i hope she never loses her hesitance/reluctance and emotional reaction towards killing.
Author's Response: Those vampire instincts can be pretty powerful and she'll have to learn to control them - but hopefully, Vera can keep her moral compass, even if her worse side may override it at times. Most vampires, however, consider it their right to do with mortals as they see fit. Thanks for reading!
Date: 06/16/20 10:03 pm Title: Chapter Seven: Morale Check
Awww, D&D references rather than V:tM references? Or would that have been a bit too on the nose? :D
Author's Response: To be honest, I'm a lot more familiar with D&D than I am V:tM. Plus, I think D&D was, by far, the biggest game in town during the "Satanic Panic" in the 1980s.
Date: 06/12/20 09:24 pm Title: Chapter Six: Vamps
If I may have a small backseat writer moment, I came across a name that would rather work for Verne, the name being Verniy. Translating from Russian you get “right”, “true”, or “faithful”.
I’m eager to see if Lisa also experiences the 5 hours of being mostly dead, or if that experience was unique to Verne/Vera due to the far more massive anatomical changes she underwent.
Author's Response: That's a beautiful name - though, for now, Verne is going to end up going by Vera Vera. We'll eventually get to find out what happens to Lisa, and there will be at least one other vampire transformation in the story. Stay tuned and thanks for reading!
Date: 06/04/20 06:09 pm Title: Chapter One: Symptoms
:D so apparently the characters I suggested do not work on TGS, they just deleted a part of my comment ^_^
Author's Response: Yes, there are a number of disallowed characters. The engine that parses text is a bit goofy, and sometimes things will show up fine until they don't - I've had stories post just fine and then drop half a chapter randomly like a day later. But if you just use only standard characters, it works pretty well.
Date: 06/04/20 06:08 pm Title: Chapter Five: Friends & Familiars
So good, so good. NVC sounds really terrifying, it'd be a nightmare to live with the constant fear. I guess that's more or less Stephen Hawking's life. I actually had to google the illness because it sounded so real, props to you.
By the way, I was thinking maybe use '' for outgoing ones? If they work on TG Storytime, that is. It's a bit hard to keep track of whose message it is.
Author's Response: Thanks! I tried to come up with an illness that was plausible but fictional, and I added a few little quirks to it to make Vera's transformation make sense. Basically, I wanted a really horrible progressive illness that provided lots of motivation for Verne to experiment with a massive dose of Juvechrome C to get the plot rolling. Thanks for the feedback about the messaging format. I've been playing around with the format and have yet to find one that makes semiotic sense and works with TGS. I like < because it looks like the base of a text bubble, but this presents some challenges.
Date: 06/01/20 05:30 pm Title: Chapter Four: New Blood
Good to see more from ya. With just these 4 chapters, you’ve already managed to sprinkle in enough tidbits of information about Verne/Vera, NVC, its causes and effects, and Juvechrome that it’s already possible to piece together a theory that answers the question of “Why did I change dramatically?” The How being overdosing on JuveC.
I do hope that as time goes on Vera starts developing more vampiric powers. Could help with the “requisitioning” of more JuveC for others like Lisa.
Author's Response: Lisa will actually become a pretty major character, so we'll find out what happens with her and many questions will be answered. I'm glad you like my writing! This one's going to be 20 chapters of tg vampire action. In the next chapter, we meet a serious villain. Warning: it's going to get pretty gory soon. You know, vampires and whatnot.
Date: 05/30/20 05:05 pm Title: Chapter Four: New Blood
This is so good!
I think I may have to become a patron to you and some others, whenever I manage to get a steady income!
Author's Response: I'm glad you like it. I hope your income situation improves - I know a lot of people who are in increasingly dire straits right now. Hopefully, that shapes up for you. I release roughly half of my stuff for free, and whether or not you can pay anything, I appreciate all my readers and the feedback they give. Thanks!
Date: 05/26/20 01:53 am Title: Chapter One: Symptoms
I'm sure it's gauche to review your own story - this is just to note that an earlier version of Chapter 1 got cut short, so if the transition from Chapter 1 to Chapter 2 seemed like a bit of a jump, it's because the last 700 words of the chapter were missing. I've corrected the error.
Date: 05/26/20 01:15 am Title: Chapter Three: Turning
Yay! The start of another well-written saga in a slightly alternative reality. Hmm... Never heard of neurovascular chimerism, is it a real thing? Apparently not, but it's integral to the plot, OK. Thanks for the entertainment, you do a great job with, well, everything -- creativity, pacing, dialog, etc.
Author's Response: Thanks! Neurovascular chimerism is made up, though it's something that could plausibly exist. Basically, I wanted to come up with a horrible illness without using a real-world illness as a plot crutch. Since the main character is going to turn into a vampire (I hope that's not spoiling too much), I didn't want to cheapen a real-world illness to introduce vampire hijinks. I hope you'll keep reading!