Date: 05/28/20 07:51 pm Title: Epilogue
Good story, you have a really nice writing style. One thing that did drive me nuts throughout the story was your use of "Me and Danny". When you include someone else in a phrase like that, you should always list the other person(s) before referring to yourself. So, instead of saying "Me and Danny", you should always put the other person first. "Danny and I" would be the correct way.
Author's Response: thank you! I will go through and fix those errors when I get the chance... I tend to get into a habit and it's hard to break it while I'm writing -- I originally had "ma'am" spelled "mam" for the longest time.
Date: 05/28/20 02:18 pm Title: Chapter 1
This story did look familiar. Man, was it dark. The main character loses his dad, geez. I just think more dads than not would have been more supportive if something like this happened. And the rest of it... Just dark. It's like Mako's movies, great concepts, just needing some help to find an actual happy ending
Author's Response: dark stuff is my specialty, I guess. xD this might just be my personal preference, but I love stories with ambiguous or bittersweet endings, because they leave the most potent taste in my mouth for me, so I try to include that factor in my own stories too.
Date: 05/27/20 03:10 pm Title: Chapter 1
The epilogue was kinda confusing but if what you are saying, and I don't want to give it all away, is that it was all the original name of this story?
Author's Response: yes indeed. i'm sorry it was confusing though... i remember i played around with it a lot trying to make the transition less stark but i don't think i succeeded, so i'm sorry about that. :/
Date: 05/25/20 01:44 am Title: Chapter 18
I've read all the versions of this story and so far I like this one the best.
Author's Response: I'll hopefully have the rest of it up soon... school has just gotten in the way a bit and I haven't had time to get to the second half of the book yet. Thank you for your feedback! This is technically only the second version (it's not edited much at all in terms of plot compared to the last "Curtis Family") but I appreciate the feedback nonetheless. (: