Date: 04/17/20 05:12 am Title: Chapter 1
I keep coming back to this story. This was so perfect for me in so many ways. I rarely revisit stories (I can probably count on my fingers the amount of stories or books that I have), but I've re-read this one at least five times now. It's so good and so well written. I would love to see this expanded into a full novel, or novella.
I definitely think my favorite line is the ending line there. Sometimes closing lines just kind of dig into my soul and serve as perfect statements of the themes present within a work, and that is certainly true here.
> Elli smiled as she spoke.. “And take my father’s sons with you.”
I love this line so much it makes me scream. I read this both as Elli telling her stepmother to take her extant sons, but it also shows how much she has realized her own identity, because she specifies her father's sons. Which would include the identity she'd clung to for years out desperation. She doesn't just want her abusive half-brothers gone, she also wants all of the remnants of her past identity too, because of how much more comfortable and satisfied she is with womanhood. I feel like I'm phrasing that poorly, but it's 3am and this story just gets under my skin in the best way possible.
Author's Response: Thank you so much for the reply. <3 It's actually a little tempting to go back to this story. Rewrite it a little, expand upon it. Maybe even make it a proper novella. Though I'm not sure how to pad it out that much - I'd probably need to introduce some new challenges, and characters, to say the very least. Still, it's. Tempting. Just because I loved writing this story. No promises. Hell, I'd call it pretty unlikely. But. Maybe I'll write a chapter, and see what happens.....