Date: 06/10/20 06:05 pm Title: The Luck of the Irish
I really like this story, the premise is good and the writing is funny and really good. But the ending is dragging it a little down for me
Author's Response: Thanks! And yeah, I'm not entirely in love with the ending either.
Date: 03/22/20 01:24 pm Title: The Luck of the Irish
Nice little story. Though it's a little surprising that none of the patrons noticed that 'Aaron' sounds like 'Erin' or that she looks so much like him.
Author's Response: Thanks! And I guess you can chalk that up to Eileen's makeup skills and Aaron's acting skills.
Date: 03/06/20 10:02 am Title: The Luck of the Irish
Not sure how I feel about this. I will say it was well written and interesting. If it were not, I wouldn't have made it to the little twist at the end. That end is where I feel uncomfortable.
Because it is a short story, I'm giving it a five star rating. In a small package, it had a lot to unload, and it had done so very well.
At the beginning, I got a laugh in from this whole thing starting off as a funny bet. I, also, followed along with Aaron's logic in becoming Erin. That reasoning is the same as what some people do to get out of an accusation; if they admit to it, and add on to the claim, it had made the point but lost its impact. Can't hurt if you feel comfortable enough to go further, right?
What disturbs me is not exactly the twist, but how it was played. See what I said there? Played. They are treating this like a game and the goal is for a drunk somebody to score with Erin. That's wrong. Aaron/Erin, Eileen, and Sean are all part of this, with Molly the only other in on the plan, but those patrons are none the wiser and made ever more unfit to figure out the ruse. If, or when, that someone goes home with Erin, I'm sorry if this may offend, but... That is the definition of a Trap. Not only that, not once had Erin identified as female. He's only playing along to keep his dear friend, Sean, in check to win out of the initial bet's loss.
Now that is only me speculating on how the night's turn of events would play out. I don't see that as a reason to take away from the final score. You get a five out of five.
Author's Response: Your review gives me a lot to think about, I admit that there are a lot of angles I didn't consider when writing the story, and it's always good to know where improvement can be made.