Date: 04/02/20 09:17 pm Title: Chapter Ten: Prelude to a Liaison
Just fantastic! One of the best stories I have read. You must be really bored with the movies as you could write professional.
Author's Response: Thanks for the high praise! I try my best, and I actually have a few irons in the fire re: writing professionally. For now, I'm merely a quasi-pro. I hope you'll keep reading!
Date: 04/02/20 04:28 am Title: Chapter Ten: Prelude to a Liaison
I was hoping we'd get to see the Gangling Men scan Valerie... drat!
I doubt Natalie was the first person to come up with that tongue trick, but it still deserves a medal :P
As for my last review, I did forget the $1.1M price tag... but still worth! After all, Valerie's magic made her that money in the first place, learning more is a good investment for sure.
Author's Response: I imagine there are lots of witches and warlocks who dabble in erotomancy. It's a very fertile field to be plumbed, if you'll pardon the pun. And yes, $1.1 million is a pretty sweet deal if you gain supernatural powers out of it. Though those supernatural powers don't do you much good if you get taken by the Gangling Men, so it's a fine balance to manage. Let's hope she manages it! Thanks for reading!
Date: 03/31/20 03:46 am Title: Chapter Nine: Partner, Pawn & Pupil
I'm kind of surprised that Natalie considers enrolment at St Circe's to be a punishment, but hopefully her cousin fits in!
Hopefully they don't wind up in a relationship with Natalie's sister :P
Author's Response: I don't think she sees enrollment as a punishment, per se, so much as forcing Vince to go through what she went through and paying $1.1 million for the honor. As for Vince's relationships... he's still pining for Fabiana, but maybe that will change?
Date: 03/31/20 12:35 am Title: Chapter Seven: Legend of the Quartopus
I loved the nerdy bits, but took issue with this part:
"That late at night, and with that much brainpower churning for that long, I slept like the dead."
... How could you possibly sleep!? XD
I've had simulations running with morning results before, it's worse than the night before Christmas, I tell you.
Author's Response: Honestly, I partly based it off of my own experiences, though not entirely. I've had renders or data crunching over night before, and I always watch them like a hawk for like the first hour, watching the numbers tick up, trying to think of anything I might be looking at that would indicate success or failures. And then, since it's usually at the end of a 20-hour day, I end up crashing... and usually, when I wake up in the morning, it's still not done yet. Or sometimes it's finished and something's screwed up and I'm back to troubleshooting.
Date: 03/31/20 12:34 am Title: Chapter Six: The Exile
I'm enjoying the story a lot! Especially the plot point about Natalie now being a teacher, somehow that role really solidifies her accomplishments and makes everything far more real.
Author's Response: I'm glad you like it - I wanted to bring the school back into the plot but didn't want to make Natalie a student (it would seem too contrived and a big step backward), so I decided for that instead. Thanks for reading!
Date: 03/29/20 01:29 pm Title: Chapter Nine: Partner, Pawn & Pupil
That was a pretty dramatic ritual, very impressive. Wouldn't it be interesting if Vincette was the "chosen one"?
Author's Response: That would be *very* interesting. I even considered doing that, but I think it would have taken a lot more story to accomplish successfully. Ultimately, I didn't go with that, though I do have a few twists of the prophecy here and there, and plenty of foreshadowing that might only make sense in retrospect.
Date: 03/29/20 10:53 am Title: Chapter Nine: Partner, Pawn & Pupil
I really liked this chapter. Vince, who was until now kind of a throwaway character, was this time shown as a really complex and conflicted person, someone who can realize is doing something that is not correct but can not find a way to make it right.
I feel like this story's strength, like the original, is in the feelings and tributalions of these people living in this crazy kind of world. Well, that and all of the technical/systematic portion of how this universe works. Already feeling like re reading to try to make sense of it!
Author's Response: I'm glad you like it - I originally considered turning Vince into a straight-up villain but decided this would be more fun. Much more to come!
Date: 03/29/20 07:24 am Title: Chapter Nine: Partner, Pawn & Pupil
I wonder if the rule of three will be invoked somehow with Vince's transformation. Fabiana seemed to be pushing him towards cleaning his karmic slate with three times the good deeds than bad, maybe to protect him from what was potentially coming.
I have to wonder if this transformation will be influenced by that because it mirrors what happened to his cousin Natalie who he agreed to help sell out I think three times over (possible involved in giving the gangling men and Bryces power to adopt her via his blood connection, helped smooth over her disappearance the first time making her parents forget and the third time assisting in her imprisonment in her former form and memories sealed away.
Will the transformation mirror what was done to Natalie age wise, will it be impervious to being undone for three times as long as the time from Natalie when Natalie was changed to when she escaped the Bryces, or will "Victoria" have to do three times as much good as the evil see she for the gangling men before she can turn back.
Also interesting in seeing if Fabiana might involve herself, perhaps learning of his disappearance and tracing her paper.
Author's Response: In this world, the 'rule of three' is only a general guideline rather than a hard-and-fast rule of magic. Basically if you reneg on a magical contract, then double your investment is turned back on you, which can do more than twice as much magic. It will definitely be difficult to get Vince back... if he even wants to to back... but if it's a straightforward transformation, it shouldn't be too much harder than the first way. Not unless a contract or trust is somehow being violated. And something tells me we'll be seeing more of Fabiana before too long.
Date: 03/29/20 06:50 am Title: Chapter Nine: Partner, Pawn & Pupil
Natalie: “It’ll be like a very advanced witness protection program.”
Dr. Sauvage: “This is getting out of hand. Now, there are two of them.”
Author's Response: Dr. Sauvage definitely doesn't have a soft spot for the Bryce/Warners.
Date: 03/27/20 04:36 am Title: Chapter Eight: Kovacs, Garcia & Warner
Hopefully counteracting the symbol on their head is a permanent kill. Also, I hope Natalie keeps Heirophant’s hat. It’ll be the next fashion craze and tradition amongst all the Gangling Man huntresses. Take the hat of the first one you kill, decorate it with a rag from each subsequent Gangling victim.
Author's Response: It will turn out that there's a very specific way to do a permanent kill and, unfortunately, Natalie doesn't know it... yet. I like your idea for the next big witch fashion craze! Hopefully, it catches on - we'll see!
Date: 03/26/20 11:07 pm Title: Chapter Eight: Kovacs, Garcia & Warner
"Nobody followed me." Heh, I love the way you toss clever little witticisms into your writing. And great action scene at the end of the chapter. Clearly the forbidden symbols were forbidden because they posed a threat.
Author's Response: I'm glad you like the writing! Yes, the symbols that are off limits were made so quite deliberately. However, the Gangling Men did not anticipate the technology of the 21st Century. More action scenes to come!
Date: 03/25/20 02:44 pm Title: Chapter Eight: Kovacs, Garcia & Warner
Very cool chapter thanks! (and of course we know they were idiots for not including Lily and she's going to be really pissed when she finds out.)
Author's Response: I'm glad you liked it! And we'll find out what happens with Lily, Vince, et al. soon enough - let's just say that Natalie has an idea or two about how to proceed.
Date: 03/23/20 08:03 am Title: Chapter Seven: Legend of the Quartopus
I’m trying to think of how one could take out a Gangling Man.
Maybe they are like Taken; They’re not bound by terrestrial constraints, but they can be constrained by terrestrial bullets.
Author's Response: At least some... perhaps *many*... get taken out later in the story. How? We'll find out! Thanks for reading!
Date: 03/23/20 01:38 am Title: Chapter Three: The Capture of Natalie Bryce
Ohh... Yay! Here comes the sequel! But I deferred even starting it a while, now you're up to 7 chapters and I've only savored 3 so far. Great job of introducing plot twists while bringing us all back up to speed with the past. Excellent! I'm glad you have more storytelling set in this world.
Author's Response: I'm glad you like what I've got so far! This one is 21 chapters, all complete, and I just have to get them formatted and posted. I'll continue posting chapters every Wednesday and Sunday.
Date: 03/22/20 03:46 pm Title: Chapter Seven: Legend of the Quartopus
Chapter 7- Loved the nerdy bits. I really like the fact that you are taking your time to build an internally-logical magic system. Neat thing about doing that is that you can then use it again and again, because it's intellectual property that can be re-used in other stories.
Author's Response: Thanks for the feedback! You're definitely right about magical systems (or other internal story-specific mechanics). I used some aspects of this magical system (though not all) for Curses! (the ebook is free on Amazon for the next few days) if you want to read more magical hijinks by me. Thanks for reading!
Date: 03/18/20 05:09 pm Title: Chapter Five: Alma Mater
Geez, so much for toning her down...
This might sound like complaining a lot, but its really hard to root for her when she's like this. She even got the full chad tour at school, she sounds like an asshole tbh (or perhaps, the dreaded MS-word archetype...). The conversation with Cassie also sound really bad to me as well.. I mean most of it is just couples stuff, but the 'I should have invited you' bit... well, for her to just say it like that, felt really wrong. You just dont invite someone you dont like, and at that time she just didnt.
Also I guess I wanted to complain about Lucian being wrought as the designated villain yer again but it seems you might have something planned for him. We will see!
Author's Response: I suppose when Natalie got the 'full chad' tour at school, my meaning here was to show that she'd grown past the school, at least as a student. Imagine any great witch or warlock in her place, and they also might strut around St. Circe's like a HWIC, probably more so than Natalie did. This also feeds into the idea of toning Natalie down. She's not a world-breaker ultimate balance-destroying witch, but she *is* phenomenally talented (she and Simone both) and, yes, this makes her more badass than any of the students at St. Circe's... but she's not a student anymore. She's a powerful but highly inexperienced witch suddenly immersed in some really high-caliber stuff that's, frankly, way over her pay grade. She can't just waltz through it like a MS if she wants to get out of this alive. As for the bit with relationship-mending with Cassie, perhaps I should revisit that. My intention there was to point out that, if you love somebody, you have to be especially considerate of them during their most trying times, even if doing so is inconvenient for you. Realistically, Cassie should have thought about how Natalie might feel and put off her raucous lovemaking with Liam and Magnus until a later time when Natalie couldn't hear them and be heartbroken over it. Cassie was trying to cope in her own way, and she felt like s*** when she realized that she'd made Natalie feel like s***. That's what I was trying to get across, but maybe I didn't do a great job of it. As always, thanks for the feedback!
Date: 03/12/20 12:15 am Title: Chapter Four: Oh, The Irony!
"Then I was immersed in darkness and oblivion." Well that was pretty cliff-hangery.
Author's Response: Sorry, I can't help it. I have cliff hangritis. It's a serious medical condition where I compulsively write cliff hangers. :/
Date: 03/10/20 10:22 pm Title: Chapter One: The Best Two Weeks of My Life
Hey again! Just wanted to say, its pretty cool what you did with Natalie being transformed back - I though she had gotten too good at the end of the last story (and maybe a little full of herself?), so I like to see her toned back a bit, maybe to rediscover herself. Wish he would have maybe recovered her memory bits by bits? Would have been interesting to see her adapt.
Author's Response: Thanks for the input! You know, it would have been interesting to have her recover her memory a bit at a time - I've already established that it can happen in dribs or drabs, or else quite quickly. So I could have done it over time. Ultimately, that's not what I did, but it would make for an interesting narrative. I hope you'll keep reading!
Date: 03/10/20 02:35 am Title: Chapter Three: The Capture of Natalie Bryce
Ch. 3 - Future badassery, it tingles at her fingertips. I can feel it...
Author's Response: Oh yes, there's much badassery to come. Look for it at the end of Chapter 4 on Wednesday, and then continuing as things slowly escalate. Thanks for reading!
Date: 03/05/20 11:13 pm Title: Chapter Two: Those Darn Kids
U sure are posting fast here! Excellent storyline I can’t wait for the 13 &14 on Sunday.
Author's Response: After Chapter 3 on Sunday, I'll be posting 2 chapters a week here on Wednesdays and Sundays right after I make my regular Patreon posts.
Date: 03/05/20 03:54 am Title: Chapter One: The Best Two Weeks of My Life
Oh wow what the heck happened between stories...
Author's Response: That'll be revealed in Chapter 3, which I'll post on Sunday! My plan is to post Chapter 2 tomorrow, and then a chapter on Sundays and Wednesdays after that.