Date: 02/17/20 03:08 pm Title: Chapter 4: Grand Strategy
Wow, Sabine is back. And madder than a wet, um, raven I guess.
Good job with the strategy meeting. I don't know how I could have bluffed my way through something like that. I think she could have probably leaned on her intimidation factor a little bit harder.
Great writing can't wait for more.
Date: 02/16/20 10:15 pm Title: Chapter 4: Grand Strategy
Okay, I have no idea where you're going with any of this but I'm finding myself immensely entertained so far. Keep up the good work and I'm looking forward to reading many more chapters as time goes on.
Also, I'm curious to know what happened to Sabine's head (flew into a power line while she was a bird?)... and how she is able to yell with it detached from her lungs?
Date: 02/16/20 03:41 pm Title: Chapter 3: Role-Playing Game
Great chapter. I love that he is getting in touch with his feminine side. As much fun as she is having right now, I can't see her ever wanting to go back to her male self.
Looks like there could be quite a bit of drama with her generals. I hope there is plenty of interaction with them, to find out how Eliza's new world works.
Again, great writing. Very believable. Thank you.
Date: 02/12/20 06:53 pm Title: Chapter 2: Tutorial
Wow so far this is really good. I especially like that even though its based off a video game we so far havent seen a ridiculous status menus anywhere, and honestly I really hope it stays that way. Such things tend to take away from the fantasy epic feel of stories and have become terribly over used. Most of all the writing is pretty darn solid and I really like the main characters kindness so far. Haha it'll probably take her a while to get used to how careful she has to be around all the squishy people now.
Date: 02/12/20 05:38 pm Title: Chapter 2: Tutorial
Eliza is really getting into her new role, and body. I hope there is a more detailed description coming, as well as some healthy self-exploration.
I'm not an expert on D&D, or most mystical video games. Can you maybe dumb it down a bit for us less educated? Like spell out some of the acronyms, e.g., DLC, and explain more of the game's storyline? I just want to feel more a part of your story. Thank you.