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Reviewer: Lilchelly Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 04/25/20 08:37 am Title: Epilogue

Waaaaaaaaaait what? No no no please don't end this there. I'm so sorry I got into this late but this was soooo goood. It deserves at least another book IMO, to close all the things, like this detective thing like OMG

Reviewer: Lilchelly Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 04/25/20 08:33 am Title: Chapter 20

Only one chapter left, I'm a little scared. This chapter showed a lot though, Carson was visibly distressed, that's understandable. But why was it ONLY him. That's strange, I am curious of what that means, what's going on with him. I love Davey's answer and he seems so eager to see his other family. I am gonna be sad when I read the next chapter and it's all over. Thank you though so much for this!

Reviewer: Lilchelly Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 04/25/20 08:24 am Title: Chapter 19

It seems that place has it's own stereotypes. Forcing devi to 'dress like a girl' those peer pressures to conform seem to go no matter where you live. And wow the Grandma, that's one hard decision to make. Also the pregnancy thing, yeah girl you better not. We all know how pregnancy goes in these kinds of stories xD

Reviewer: Lilchelly Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 04/25/20 08:05 am Title: Chapter 18

A retirement place for old people, that sounds so nice. Ugh I'd love to be in this world and see how everything looks and feels and smells. I'd be 18 again, which would mean I could go back and FIX my life instead of hte horrible mess I got in thanks to that stupid cult

Reviewer: Lilchelly Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 04/25/20 07:57 am Title: Chapter 17

Wait it switches gender identities? Oh fudge would I become a trans man? God dang it trans people get no breaks ;-;

Reviewer: Lilchelly Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 04/25/20 07:51 am Title: Chapter 16

As much awesome as it would be to have this, I still have that sinking feeling that it's not gonna be like they think. Especially with some conservative religious types, they might burn the house down to stop it

Reviewer: Lilchelly Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 04/25/20 07:44 am Title: Chapter 15

I know they are thinking of export and import, but I get a feeling that's NOT a good idea. What if the portal closes forever? They could be stuck there! I love that addressed the consequences of the IRS! I hope the parents come around to TRANS PEOPLE, well certain ones. I'd LEAP through that portal faster than you could say cupcakes on a oven!

Reviewer: Lilchelly Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 04/25/20 07:36 am Title: Chapter 14

That sounds dangerous, but also adorable Davey. I love how kind and silly he is. OMG you capture someone who doesn't understand our world PERFECTLY. Like I could legit believe she was an alien or something. I love your writing soooo much

Reviewer: Lilchelly Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 04/25/20 07:26 am Title: Chapter 13

Oh no sashtun! I hope she isn't dead or worse! Oh no oh no oh no!!!! And yeah that "i don't remember" is not gonna appease kids, kids are nosey little cupcakes

Reviewer: Lilchelly Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 04/21/20 09:54 pm Title: Chapter 12

This is so sad... sashtun's world is crashing down. I wonder how guilty Davey's parents will be once they finally see the portal and realize they left that poor guy to die

Reviewer: Lilchelly Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 04/21/20 09:46 pm Title: Chapter 11

Oh no... that's not going to go well. This is going to go terribly, oh no oh no... And Poor Sashtun... is gonna be left to die... I'm so sad!!!!!

Reviewer: Lilchelly Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 04/21/20 09:41 pm Title: Chapter 10

Wait... Sashtun is like 60 something? What in the world, omg that's awful! What if someone fourty years old or fifty years old went through that portal... oh my God that's horrifying

Reviewer: Lilchelly Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 04/21/20 09:36 pm Title: Chapter 9

OMG! YAY PORTAL HOME! Oh no.. Sashtun, this has got to be such a big change. It sucks that magic doesn't work in this world. Yeah sorry, earth is so boring...

Reviewer: Lilchelly Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 04/21/20 09:29 pm Title: Chapter 8

I just really love how you weave in pronouns as the kid tries to navigate gender as best he/she can. I like that she got to choose who she married, at least I hope it was chosen or at least someone she's happy with (I mean Zindla) and oh no! They can't get it to stay, that's so sad!

Reviewer: Lilchelly Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 04/21/20 09:00 pm Title: Chapter 7

Oh wow, they're trying so hard to help him. I'm afraid if this doesn't work, what kind of portal acts this way? I wonder why it's being so stubborn?

Reviewer: Lilchelly Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 04/21/20 08:52 pm Title: Chapter 6

I love the way you change pronouns back and forth with how Devi feels. This is such an awesome story. Also that poor baby getting homesick and OH NO his parents! Calling the police, I wonder if any of them have ever been through the portal? Maybe they've heard of it, or some relative has? I fear for this kid if he can never return home...

Reviewer: Lilchelly Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 04/21/20 08:45 pm Title: Chapter 5

Oh wow the pronoun switch, I guess she thinks she has to learn all about being a girl to go home. I am curious if that's really the reason. Though the poor baby is homesick, awwwww. I hope she gets lots of hugs, and oooh new clothes! Maybe it'll be fun!

Reviewer: Lilchelly Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 04/21/20 08:28 pm Title: Chapter 4

There is so much that is a mystery here, what just happened to this kid? Why would a portal do such a thing? It's not a spell, then what is it? I'm so curious I cant wait to finish the next chapter!!!

Reviewer: Lilchelly Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 04/21/20 08:20 pm Title: Chapter 3

Omigawd, that's quite a lot to take in. Losing half your age, and probably even your gender, we don't know all that's going on yet. So far the kid seems okay, but I'm hoping he doesn't break down. I just want to hug him and tell him everything is gonna be okay...

Reviewer: Lilchelly Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 04/21/20 08:30 am Title: Chapter 2

Uh oh, he keeps thinking this is narnia but I'm not so sure that's what he's in. Getting younger and smaller? That's so bizarre, I love that they correct themselves on the pronouns despite his appearance, that's a cute addition. Taking away his way back home is scary, who knows what's gonna happen to him in a world run by magick?

Then end when he curled up thought was SUUUUPER CUTEEEEEEE

Reviewer: QueenOfBlades Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 04/15/20 07:32 am Title: Epilogue

So many implications with this story. I feel there’s a lot that could be explored about the portal that is left open. Would be fun to find out how such a thing would affect cultures on both sides of it.

Reviewer: Griffin Signed Report
Date: 04/11/20 03:16 pm Title: Chapter 1

I liked it.

Even if you don’t get the responses that you were looking for,
I’d appreciate it if you at least could share a shorter sequel to wrap things up a little,
even if it’s just a chapter or two in relative size.

If not,
I’d suggest changing the epilogue slightly if you do decide to just let it end here.

I know a lot of effort&thought goes into something this length and that is why there is so much unfinished material on this site.

I’ve always like the Chronicles of Narnia and this was different in that adults and the elderly were more significantly included...

Of course,
it was unique in other ways as well!

You really did bring up valid points about the true value of youth to the elderly and the flexibility of the younger ones compared to teens.

I’m sorry more people didn’t appreciate the questions you posed and the answers you were preparing.

Just a bit more would certainly be appreciated even if you don’t go all out on a sequel.

It just feels like unfinished business at this point.

So many questions...

Regardless,
thank you for creative efforts-
So many stories on here are just formulaic tropes.

I appreciate those efforts as well because we all start somewhere but I will just say,
“Thank You” for all of your work because you have produced some of the most original tales on here and they have definitely given me food for thought.

So-
Thanks Again!

Reviewer: Day Dreamer Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 04/04/20 09:32 pm Title: Chapter 19

Really enjoying the flow of this rather... unusual... storyline. It's remarkably innocent, so far, but that's OK. Pretty brave of the protagonists to trust they'll be able to continue going back and forth indefinitely, "what could go wrong?" Presumably Kashpur has the magic nailed down to routine already so the risk is low. Lots of tension built up earlier with no one believing Devi, and I like how you've resolved that happily. So where do you take us from here?

Reviewer: ZZChromosome Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 04/04/20 02:22 pm Title: Chapter 19

Aw man, right when it was getting naughty, lol.

Reviewer: ZZChromosome Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 03/28/20 02:26 pm Title: Chapter 17

Hah! An entire family gender-bender. I think that's the first time I've seen that done. This will be fun.

Also, what if I had a nice ripe apple on the Earth side of the portal, then crossed, would it be an unripe, green apple?

Author's Response: I've read numerous stories where a whole family shuffles bodies; fewer where they all transform, but I'm pretty sure I've read at least one such. Can't recall the titles of the latter, though. I think the apple would probably de-age to the extent it still has living cells. I'm pretty sure this effect affects all living things.

Reviewer: Foundling_Fae Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 03/25/20 06:43 pm Title: Chapter 16

This story has shifted in an appreciable way. Exploring the implications of this sort of biological time travel works well.

Reviewer: ZZChromosome Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 03/13/20 12:51 am Title: Chapter 13

Ch. 13 - Golly, hope they find Sashtun in time for the next time the portal opens. I think that they've been very brave. Ha!, Maybe Mom goes over with her next?

Reviewer: ZZChromosome Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 03/10/20 12:09 pm Title: Chapter 12

I'm thinking Sashtun should buy a book on astronomy. It wouldn't surprise me at all if the portal's operation was tied to the positions of the moon and planets.

Author's Response: The spontaneous opening of the portal is influenced by astronomical conditions on both worlds, but it's not as simple as "full moon on earth" as a commenter (here or on BigCloset?) speculated. But Kashpur's deliberate opening of it is less sensitive to such conditions, though not completely insensitive.

Reviewer: ZZChromosome Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 03/06/20 12:45 am Title: Chapter 1

This is an excellent story, but with very few reviews. I guess because it's kid-friendly and doesn't have any sex or any controversial issues in it?

Personally, I'm enjoying it immensely.

Just a thought, if someone suffering from a terrible disease portaled into the other world, would they still be diseased in their new body? Or if they portaled from this, magicless, world into a world with magic, would there be healing spells available for them? Or vice-versa, could modern Earth medicine help people from the magical world to heal magic-resistant diseases? Would that be worth a loss of youth - seems to be an approximate doubling/halving of age going either way, plus the gender swap.

Reviewer: Lilchelly Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 02/22/20 11:12 am Title: Chapter 1

This has me intrigued, the murals and everything? What do they mean, and what is going to go on?

Reviewer: Foundling_Fae Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 02/07/20 07:32 am Title: Chapter 3

This is an interesting start to a portal fantasy. Devi has got herself into a definitely awkward spot.
Your world has some nicely explored linguistics going on, much better than some portal fantasies I could name. It is probably going to not explore it much further, but what you have done is quite appreciated. :)

Reviewer: ZZChromosome Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 02/07/20 02:24 am Title: Chapter 3

"That must be the worst portal ever!”

Heh, this story is insanely cute and sweet. I'm enjoying it immensely. Not enough kid-friendly stories around here. Thank you for sharing your art with us.

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