Date: 04/25/20 08:33 am Title: Chapter 20
Only one chapter left, I'm a little scared. This chapter showed a lot though, Carson was visibly distressed, that's understandable. But why was it ONLY him. That's strange, I am curious of what that means, what's going on with him. I love Davey's answer and he seems so eager to see his other family. I am gonna be sad when I read the next chapter and it's all over. Thank you though so much for this!
Date: 04/25/20 08:24 am Title: Chapter 19
It seems that place has it's own stereotypes. Forcing devi to 'dress like a girl' those peer pressures to conform seem to go no matter where you live. And wow the Grandma, that's one hard decision to make. Also the pregnancy thing, yeah girl you better not. We all know how pregnancy goes in these kinds of stories xD
Date: 04/25/20 08:05 am Title: Chapter 18
A retirement place for old people, that sounds so nice. Ugh I'd love to be in this world and see how everything looks and feels and smells. I'd be 18 again, which would mean I could go back and FIX my life instead of hte horrible mess I got in thanks to that stupid cult
Date: 04/25/20 07:44 am Title: Chapter 15
I know they are thinking of export and import, but I get a feeling that's NOT a good idea. What if the portal closes forever? They could be stuck there! I love that addressed the consequences of the IRS! I hope the parents come around to TRANS PEOPLE, well certain ones. I'd LEAP through that portal faster than you could say cupcakes on a oven!
Date: 04/25/20 07:36 am Title: Chapter 14
That sounds dangerous, but also adorable Davey. I love how kind and silly he is. OMG you capture someone who doesn't understand our world PERFECTLY. Like I could legit believe she was an alien or something. I love your writing soooo much
Date: 04/21/20 09:29 pm Title: Chapter 8
I just really love how you weave in pronouns as the kid tries to navigate gender as best he/she can. I like that she got to choose who she married, at least I hope it was chosen or at least someone she's happy with (I mean Zindla) and oh no! They can't get it to stay, that's so sad!
Date: 04/21/20 08:52 pm Title: Chapter 6
I love the way you change pronouns back and forth with how Devi feels. This is such an awesome story. Also that poor baby getting homesick and OH NO his parents! Calling the police, I wonder if any of them have ever been through the portal? Maybe they've heard of it, or some relative has? I fear for this kid if he can never return home...
Date: 04/21/20 08:45 pm Title: Chapter 5
Oh wow the pronoun switch, I guess she thinks she has to learn all about being a girl to go home. I am curious if that's really the reason. Though the poor baby is homesick, awwwww. I hope she gets lots of hugs, and oooh new clothes! Maybe it'll be fun!
Date: 04/21/20 08:20 pm Title: Chapter 3
Omigawd, that's quite a lot to take in. Losing half your age, and probably even your gender, we don't know all that's going on yet. So far the kid seems okay, but I'm hoping he doesn't break down. I just want to hug him and tell him everything is gonna be okay...
Date: 04/21/20 08:30 am Title: Chapter 2
Uh oh, he keeps thinking this is narnia but I'm not so sure that's what he's in. Getting younger and smaller? That's so bizarre, I love that they correct themselves on the pronouns despite his appearance, that's a cute addition. Taking away his way back home is scary, who knows what's gonna happen to him in a world run by magick?
Then end when he curled up thought was SUUUUPER CUTEEEEEEE
Date: 04/11/20 03:16 pm Title: Chapter 1
I liked it.
Even if you don’t get the responses that you were looking for,
I’d appreciate it if you at least could share a shorter sequel to wrap things up a little,
even if it’s just a chapter or two in relative size.
I’d suggest changing the epilogue slightly if you do decide to just let it end here.
I know a lot of effort&thought goes into something this length and that is why there is so much unfinished material on this site.
I’ve always like the Chronicles of Narnia and this was different in that adults and the elderly were more significantly included...
it was unique in other ways as well!
You really did bring up valid points about the true value of youth to the elderly and the flexibility of the younger ones compared to teens.
I’m sorry more people didn’t appreciate the questions you posed and the answers you were preparing.
Just a bit more would certainly be appreciated even if you don’t go all out on a sequel.
It just feels like unfinished business at this point.
So many questions...
thank you for creative efforts-
So many stories on here are just formulaic tropes.
I appreciate those efforts as well because we all start somewhere but I will just say,
“Thank You” for all of your work because you have produced some of the most original tales on here and they have definitely given me food for thought.
Date: 04/04/20 09:32 pm Title: Chapter 19
Really enjoying the flow of this rather... unusual... storyline. It's remarkably innocent, so far, but that's OK. Pretty brave of the protagonists to trust they'll be able to continue going back and forth indefinitely, "what could go wrong?" Presumably Kashpur has the magic nailed down to routine already so the risk is low. Lots of tension built up earlier with no one believing Devi, and I like how you've resolved that happily. So where do you take us from here?
Date: 03/28/20 02:26 pm Title: Chapter 17
Hah! An entire family gender-bender. I think that's the first time I've seen that done. This will be fun.
Also, what if I had a nice ripe apple on the Earth side of the portal, then crossed, would it be an unripe, green apple?
Author's Response: I've read numerous stories where a whole family shuffles bodies; fewer where they all transform, but I'm pretty sure I've read at least one such. Can't recall the titles of the latter, though. I think the apple would probably de-age to the extent it still has living cells. I'm pretty sure this effect affects all living things.
Date: 03/10/20 12:09 pm Title: Chapter 12
I'm thinking Sashtun should buy a book on astronomy. It wouldn't surprise me at all if the portal's operation was tied to the positions of the moon and planets.
Author's Response: The spontaneous opening of the portal is influenced by astronomical conditions on both worlds, but it's not as simple as "full moon on earth" as a commenter (here or on BigCloset?) speculated. But Kashpur's deliberate opening of it is less sensitive to such conditions, though not completely insensitive.
Date: 03/06/20 12:45 am Title: Chapter 1
This is an excellent story, but with very few reviews. I guess because it's kid-friendly and doesn't have any sex or any controversial issues in it?
Personally, I'm enjoying it immensely.
Just a thought, if someone suffering from a terrible disease portaled into the other world, would they still be diseased in their new body? Or if they portaled from this, magicless, world into a world with magic, would there be healing spells available for them? Or vice-versa, could modern Earth medicine help people from the magical world to heal magic-resistant diseases? Would that be worth a loss of youth - seems to be an approximate doubling/halving of age going either way, plus the gender swap.
Date: 02/07/20 07:32 am Title: Chapter 3
This is an interesting start to a portal fantasy. Devi has got herself into a definitely awkward spot.
Your world has some nicely explored linguistics going on, much better than some portal fantasies I could name. It is probably going to not explore it much further, but what you have done is quite appreciated. :)