Date: 05/23/20 05:01 am Title: Two For One!
Just stumbled upon this the other day and got to say I'm really loving it so far! I'm big fan of video game based TG stories (Like trouble with horns and Total immersion). Once I binge read up to date I started reading your other story Babysitter and genie which I absolutely loving too (already about 3/4 through). Keep up the great work and can't too read more of your current and future stories!
Date: 05/16/20 02:02 pm Title: Two For One!
since this game seems to be total immersion and Melidy had lost control of her menu before meeting a GM, npc, is there a pick in the menu for pregnancy or not? Even if it not checked as a default a warning from a friend could get Melody to worry what might occur when she sleeps in the real world. A good night sleep and breakfast could have ten days passing in game with changes to her status.
Date: 04/24/20 03:23 pm Title: Captain Koral
Great intro of a new character. First you used DM for GM once near the end of the chapter.
Melody is in for surprises with a GM on behavior i think. But the GM probably can remove the cursed item. Be interesting to see what happens to Melody when the player sleep.
Author's Response: Thanks for catching that. Fixed it. I guess that's what happens when you play too much D&D and the words become interchangeable in your mind. As for Koral and Melody, I'm sure an NPC in love with no restrictions won't cause any problems at all.
Date: 04/03/20 04:06 pm Title: Intense Luncheon
Ah, to act like a princess, a mermaid princess no less. That leaves a lot of room. Are mermaid princess groomed to be fearsome ruling queens, or meek but spoiled brats, or something in between? Either way she'll need to step up her singing -- maybe add a charm song.
Author's Response: Oh, believe me, a charm song is coming once I feel it won't be too overpowered in a fight.
Date: 04/03/20 02:34 am Title: Intense Luncheon
The chapter is wonderfully done but I think you need to allow the character to be able to throw a fit or get angry at the couple who is trying to help and not just let them constantly be accepting of their situation it just really sours a story that way if there is no actual positive+negative development of your main character
Author's Response: Fair point. I was waiting for Melody to build her confidence before getting angry. Being left at the table may just be the straw that broke the camel's back, so-to-speak.
Date: 03/26/20 01:30 pm Title: Real Reflection
Interesting. Is the AI watching? If Melody accepts Amanda's mothering won't her stats change? So far loving the story and its progress.
I am sure Melody won't do this or maybe tricked to do it. But there is a program out in one of the 3D MOOS that allows a player to give control over their character to the point they cannot change their own clothes and can be moved. They cannot even login to the default program to remove constraints and such. They would need to contact the company to manually reset them and the passwords.
Please keep writing this story along with your other one.
Author's Response: Amanda has actually been rather reserved about the kinds of spells she uses on Melody and not taking advantage of it. The same may not be said for the players at the Port.
Date: 03/16/20 11:28 pm Title: New World Exploration
Is this story anyway related to "The Phoenix, the Sister, and the Genie"? If so, will there be a tie-in or coming together of the stories?
Just asking because of Phoenix in both titles.
Author's Response: There isn't any tie in, I just like the idea of a phoenix representing rebirth.
Date: 02/19/20 09:24 am Title: New World Exploration
Nice chapter. "New World Exploration" - interesting interpretation, but damn now I'm stuck thinking about the song "A whole new Wold" in the same context.
Keep up the good work. Do whatever story fits your mood best. No need to take damage from working overtime or the pressure :)
Author's Response: Thank you for your encouragement. Hopefully my life slows down so I'll be able to do more writing soon.
Date: 02/04/20 01:53 pm Title: Two For One!
Great , but you have a crazy idea of what is tall for a woman, he is a literal giant at 7' 6" and she is very small at 5' 2"
Author's Response: That was supposed to be 6'7", I don't know how I got that backwards. I'll go in and edit it, but thank you for pointing it out. I think I glossed over it in my editing because 'a number can't be wrong'. And yes, Vicky is supposed to be very short.
Date: 01/30/20 10:20 pm Title: Two For One!
And now that I think about it. Can she really wear panties? RIP (literally) when she goes into the water wearing them. Haha.
I guess she only can go commando in skirts and dresses... ;)
Author's Response: She can wear them, the real question is how long she wants to keep them. ;)
Date: 01/30/20 11:35 am Title: Floyd and Amanda
I really like the story so far. Nice concept and world building so far. The story has its own little touch and even outstands the competition in several points.
But it seems weird that the mc doesn't seemed the least bit flustered about his changes yet. I feel like he should have at least reflected a bit when he went to sleep. Or is it a game mechanic?
Author's Response: I'm going to explain it in a later chapter, but yes there is a game mechanic involved to keep the players from freaking out about the changes.
Date: 01/23/20 08:28 pm Title: Cannon Fodder
I mean, they saw Melody and the Mer-Captain fight, and they can't all be idiots. It's obvious that Melody isn't aligned with the attackers, though less obvious that she is actually an ally. The biggest danger here was a miscommunication like "Fire on the merpeople!", but given she's surrounded by crew that's no longer a worry. Especially since she is specialized in Charisma.
By the way, does her physical appearance change with level-up stat boosts? How different does she look now, if so?
Author's Response: Level up, no. Stat-boosts yes. Performing actions such as overeating, studying or working out will adjust the base stats. Those base stats are the ones that effect appearance, and it will be explained in a later chapter once Melody meets some veteran players. The stats gained from level up do not adjust appearance.
Date: 01/12/20 12:42 pm Title: Paradise
Personally I hoping this story doesn't go for the typical story line of the protagonist becoming so stupid they can barely speak, at least permanently, maybe someones spikes their drink with a temporary special charisma potion that boosts charisma at the cost of intelligence? if you wanted to go for that plot line.
I'd like the couple to meet up at some stage in the nearish future but find themselves on the wrong side of the gender line each? Maybe have the protagonist can't help but be more submissive to the new boyfriend when he pushes for it but otherwise the new boyfriend can't help but follow the protagonists suggestions due to the high charisma?
Love the idea of the story and can't wait to read more in the future, keep it up!
Author's Response: I assure you, Miles/Melody will not be made any dumber unless I do a chapter playing with potions and it would only be temporary. As for the couple? They'll meet up at some point, but I won't spoil Vicky's new form.