Date: 12/12/19 01:38 am Title: Sweet Sixteen
Oh no... I hope she's okay. And awwwww John, I hope he didn't do something to her with a spell or something, that'd be awful. And those boys with the catnip... should be beaten with a wet fish!!!! What jerks! Oddly enough catnip makes me crazy too, I guess I'm part Catgirl IRL, most of us Trans girls are xD
Date: 12/10/19 07:47 am Title: Sweet Sixteen
I remember (roughly) reading this story/series before, but it is wonderful to read again with the edits. Your characters are enjoyable and your action flows well.
If there is one comment I have for how to improve this chapter, it is that the disorientation of the catnip section is glossed over too quickly. But also, I'm not sure how long it could go without getting really hard to read. Messing with how your sentences are structured might give a better experience to the reader? It doesn't fail, anyhow, so this definitely isn't of great importance.
I eagerly await the next chapter!
Author's Response: I think I see what you're getting at, there. I poked that sequence a little bit in the editing run, but the bulk of my energy on this story was spent on the beginning of the next chapter. I'm still not entirely happy with it, but it's definitely improved. Thanks for the suggestion; I'll defjnitely try to improve stuff like catnip if I ever visit cat-people again.