Date: 02/02/20 08:08 pm Title: Chapter 15; Hot fun in the summer time
The story is quite interesting.) Still a bit of criticism:
1 Why are all this classified? Without it, people would have accepted these changes more easily.
If at 9 they determine who will have puberty, then why are they waiting another year to do this "test"?
And why is everyone so sure that this is a voluntary decision, if almost everyone agrees?
This is at least suspicious ...
2 At the first conversation with Mr. Crowley about Robert, he hints to her with a practically direct test that Roberta can become her sister, and after the Robert test when she finds out about adoption, she is surprised as if she first heard about it.
3 How does Philip's father know that there is no choice before the test before parents were informed only after the test failed ...
Date: 12/18/19 01:01 am Title: Chapter 15; Hot fun in the summer time
You took a new concept and really wrote a nice story around it. I'm glad everyone seemed to have a happy ending. Thank you for writing.
Author's Response: I like putting struggles into a story but always having a happy ending. Thank you for your nice words.
Date: 12/17/19 11:14 pm Title: Chapter 15; Hot fun in the summer time
I like this story, I would be interested in the future adventures of the band of friends. How high school might go etc. Whether or not they face prejudices all the way up.
Author's Response: I might come back to this concept if I run out of ideas. I have two stories in the works right now and four more in note format. The next one is not finished yet but I intend to start posting a chapter a week soon, maybe next month.
Date: 12/16/19 08:27 am Title: Chapter 15; Hot fun in the summer time
If there was ever there was A story I hated to see ended this has to be one of them . I do hope do a seqeal to this.
Author's Response: Why thank you. I appreciate that. I like leaving wanting more Presently working on another, longer story. Hopefully out soon.
Date: 12/13/19 03:58 am Title: Chapter 14; Time of your life:
"His divorce went through quickly and the court granted him full custody after the kids’ mother disowned Kelly. The government was quick to punish people who went against the choice of the testee"
I think that's reasonable. After all, this is a government program, so people making things difficult can expect that the courts would be very unfriendly to their cause.
Date: 12/06/19 06:40 pm Title: Chapter 12; Phil in the blanks
I wonder if that shot makes the victim more submissive and subservient.
I also wonder if a boy in a wealthy and power family will "pass" the test. I'm going to assume so.
With every boy turning into a girl, I wonder if a future chapter will have some rich old guy come through and get their pick of girls to arrange a marriage with.
This story is set in is such an awful work. I'm actually rooting for a boy to actually resist and rebel against the system. I see Beth as a pawn in this corrupt system. At some point she and everyone will have to deal with the consequences of this "test".
Author's Response: The shot does nothing but make them feel more comfortable in their own body. Like everything in life, I'm sure that the wealthy can buy their way out of the test or to pass it. If you're rich the rules don't apply to you like everything else I've thought about different sequels to this. As this one is set in a more liberal setting I have been thinking of a more deep South setting or an out of country setting or if someone else from somewhere else might want to take up the mantle.
Date: 12/06/19 06:10 pm Title: Chapter 1; Boys just wanna be boys:
Keep up the excellent story. His would be a great story to follow the main characters as they mature.
If half the class becomes female, I can’t imagine that society could persecute everyone very long. It is the new normal.
Author's Response: Thank you. I like that you are enjoying the story!
Date: 12/03/19 01:16 am Title: Chapter 9; Thanksgiving, Goodbye Stranger:
Good chapter, I think it showed the prejudices in a realistic manner.
However, I really have to take exception to the notion that if they "flunk" the test (mom's word! ) they become female. Does mom really have the little self esteem to consider her entire gender a failure? I'm a guy and that whole notion offends me. The whole reason for the transformation is to save the human race. I'd say that makes women more than a failed man. I hope Beth grows up to make a difference in your male-centric world.
By the way, getting a strong reaction out of your readers is an indication you are doing a great job of writing. If it was just another TG story with rainbows, unicorns, and boobs I wouldn't care. Ok, I'd still like the boobs. Shoot me.
Author's Response: The test is the final strike. The shot at nine actually chooses. I think that if a girl became a boy there wouldn't be as much of an outrage than a boy becoming a girl. It's showing that as much as we think we've come so far that we really haven't. Men still rule, women owning over 50% of the vote can change that anytime they want. Thanks for reviewing!
Date: 11/30/19 03:51 pm Title: Chapter 1; Boys just wanna be boys:
Your story reminds of a story called the Boards in yours the selection is secrets in boards the the selection is more public but in yours the results on the family is presented then in boards, which I like and in b oh are you could forgo the test and go straight to processing which in your story they do not do but you hint at it with the mention of trans in the story.
Anyway you have an excellent story here, but could you tell a story of one of transes. About way thanks for a wonderful read looking fowards to more thank you.
Date: 11/30/19 03:20 pm Title: Chapter 1; Boys just wanna be boys:
"don't even care if it ushers in the end of the world, because that's what they want. It will bring Jesus back."
Clearly they aren't very studious. Eve was made from Adam's rib and they were subsequently commanded to go forth and multiply. This is no different.
Seems to me like a religious marketing opportunity. Churches vary and 75% of Americans change churches at one point or another, mostly because they find the new one more to their liking.
The unaccepting churches are going to find their pews emptying, their leaders will find their pockets emptying, and they will suddenly have "revelations from God" that they need to change their ways. The hardcore rejectionists will find themselves concentrating into smaller and more extreme congregations... and then the real 'fun' will start.
Date: 11/30/19 01:21 pm Title: Chapter 9; Thanksgiving, Goodbye Stranger:
Not sure what the source of the prejudice from some of the others is. For the boys, I understand it's fear of the unknown and fear of failure. But I don't understand the fear the adults have. That makes no sense to me. Anyway, I assume you'll explore that somewhat in the story, I don't think it's a fault in your writing at all.
Author's Response: Mostly religious. Just like the way they fear the transgender. These evilgelicals want everyone to follow their God and don't even care if it ushers in the end of the world, because that's what they want. It will bring Jesus back.
Date: 11/27/19 02:59 pm Title: Chapter 7; Now you see him, now you don't. Jack
"“Yes,” Mr. Crowley says, “But you can never tell anyone what we tell you today, except us girls who changed.”"
It seems like they really go out of their way to humiliate these kids, even though the society depends on them making the sacrifice. Sam seems to be the only insightful person around.
Guessing that "the shot" they get the morning after is just a placebo?
Author's Response: No, the shot they use is for the males who can conceive to make their minds female. They take it every 3 days and it keeps it that way. The girls who go through the test get the shot and it changes their minds while their bodies work on it. It takes almost four days for that.
Date: 11/26/19 06:13 am Title: Chapter 6; I see a blue door and I want to paint it pink:
Well, I'm all caught up again. I think you have done an excellent job of making this story look and feel real. The situations seem very realistic. Even the prejudice is about what I would expect, unfortunately. Sometimes, however, it seems as if Beth is acting too mature for a ten year old. It must be difficult to write from the perspective of a child, then add on an overnight gender change.
Overall the story is going really well and I look forward to reading more. Thank you.
Author's Response: I've felt the same way at times, but sometimes things make you grow up faster.
Date: 11/25/19 04:27 pm Title: Chapter 3; To boy or not to boy. That is the question.:
I understand this world is a man's world, but as a guy I feel guilty by association.
I'd rather see the selection process be completely random, so that you have the best chance of getting good traits in future generations of both sexes.
Hopefully, 'Henry' can grow up to be a strong woman and bring about some changes to the selection process to make it more fair and diverse. I know Henry is a long way from adulthood, but hey - King Tut started ruling an empire when he was only nine.
Author's Response: The shot at nine decides, really.
Date: 11/25/19 02:01 am Title: Chapter 5Sunshine, Lollipops, and Rainbows! Oh, yeah and Hand Grenades.
Avery's a good big brother, I approve.
I had 5 little sisters and nobody ever bothered them... ever. It never even required a discussion... ever. Honestly, I had no idea back when I was in school, but one of my sisters mentioned it to me years later. Apparently I was some sort of anti-bullying boogeyman character for years after I graduated, lol. All it took was one near-homicidal outburst in the lunchroom one day. Fortunately for all concerned, the two bullies in question ran off before I could lay hands on them and I was too embarrassed by my behavior to pursue them. Really happened.
Author's Response: I wish I had that in school.
Date: 11/24/19 02:57 pm Title: Chapter 3; To boy or not to boy. That is the question.:
So, other than the trans girls who volunteer, only the un-athletic, submissive, and stupid boys become female and produce the next generation? Seems like not such a good policy.
I think you might want to add a mechanism whereby high-scoring boys could involuntarily end up female as well. Perhaps as part of a high-risk, high-reward activity. For example, boys admitted to an elite school might have to draw lots or something. Or schools could bet on the outcome of a sports competition and someone on the losing team gets girlified. Or at the end-of season sports (or chess) tournament, the higher your team places, the fewer teammates get girlified. Then you would get more desirable, athletic and intelligent women.
So instead of simply girlifying the school "losers," you would be girlifying a broader cross-section of the student body and tying it into risk-vs.-reward.
Date: 11/24/19 02:16 pm Title: Chapter 3; To boy or not to boy. That is the question.:
Hmmm, an interesting premise. Interesting, but at the same time, incredibly sexist. If you fail the test - if you don't have the smarts and the leadership skills - you become female. Not much more than broodmares.
I hope that all females - natural and converted - are worshiped and revered for their role in saving the human race.
All that said, I like the idea that ZZ presented, and look forward to reading more. Thank you.
Author's Response: If you look at who run things, men, they would be the ones to write the rules! These are the qualities they want in a woman. You will also find out there is more to it soon.
Date: 11/23/19 04:39 pm Title: Chapter 2; Mr. Crowley, did you hear the maidens call:
I think you need four characters - one who is accepting of the change and likes it, one who is reluctant and resistant but becomes accepting in the end, and one who refuses and takes the painful way out, and one who gets to remain a boy. You might want to do four different stories, or combine them in different ways.
You've got an interesting premise here, seems like a good idea to explore each option.
Author's Response: Oh, I'm just getting started!