Date: 11/30/19 04:57 am Title: Chapter 6: The Barbecue
NOPE! I do not believe for a SECOND that Jillian is a boy. Overwhelmed by the Queen Bee from school? Sure. Stressed out about the level of expectations we, as a society, place upon the fairer sex in accordance with the gender role (erroneously or not) associated with that identity? Absolutely. Unfortunately, that's the reality any 13-year-old girl is facing, these days. It's not fair at all.
Does she like being more comfortable and maybe a bit more relaxed? Sure, I'm on board with that. I think she's been piling activities on herself to try to satisfy urges from her Type-A personality. It can get overwhelming, but she's THIRTEEN. She'll figure out balance. Maybe she'll let go of some activities and focus on soccer. IT. IS. OKAY. FOR. A. GIRL. TO. LIKE. PLAYING. SPORTS. THAT. DOES. NOT. MAKE. HER. A. BOY!
Outside of that, Tyler has been socialized to believe that anything girly is inferior; thus, needs to be shunned. It's totally natural for him to still be quite uncomfortable with the whole thing and see it as embarrassing rather than something of a blessing in disguise. That part is believable.
What you have here is two kids struggling with gender roles and how to deal with them. Tyler is getting some much-needed insight that I really think more boys should at least give a go at. Jillian is wrestling with expectations and seems overwhelmed. The only reason she's liking being referred to as a boy is that the expectations are considerably less for the masculine end of the spectrum. It's a relief for her. I'd recommend some counseling before jumping to the "I'm a trans guy" identification.
Date: 11/10/19 04:38 am Title: Chapter 7: Halloween
I will be checking to see when more is added. I love these kinds of TG changes...too often the stories have too much adult themes in them to the point it’s almost gross so thanks for the more kid friendly content, keep it coming
Date: 11/10/19 04:25 am Title: Chapter 1: Mom's Punishment
Like the story as a whole. Enjoying the plot for sure. Read the whole thing and can’t wait for more. Though I don’t see why Jillian has to be a boy to enjoy sports and hang out with guys. Would have been cool if they had had more sister sister time but Jillian learning she doesn’t have to be a girly girl all the time but I get the contrast. Would be cool to see some more permanent initiative from Tiffany like requesting pierced ears, making plans for the dance, talks about puberty and hormones. Needless to say I want more
Date: 11/06/19 10:47 pm Title: Chapter 6: The Barbecue
Wow, what a BBQ. I really hoped Tiffany would hit it off with Thomas. He was so smitten with her. Unfortunately, the heart wants what it wants. So Tom wants Tiff, but Tiff wants Scott, and Scott wants, well, not Tiff. I felt so bad for her, after getting that text from Scott. It might have actually been better that it happened by text. The humiliation in person would have been horrible.
I also applaud Johnny, for her courage in coming out. I do think, however, that he is still young and impulsive and maybe his decision was a little hasty.
Can't wait to see what the future brings for all of these kids. Hopefully happy relationships for all. Thank you for writing.
Date: 11/05/19 03:44 pm Title: Chapter 6: The Barbecue
Good chapter. I am wondering when Tyler might bring up contacting children services. Especially, after this. Tyler might become suicidal if this was real life. I can see Tyler giving up trying to be like a girl if Betsy is skimpy with days off. He could just throw his hand up and say something like it isn't worth it and tell her to keep the days.
Date: 11/04/19 03:39 pm Title: Chapter 5: Jillian's Return
Nice to read a chapter dedicated to Johnny's point of view. That was the perfect narration for Tiffany's flirtatious evening with Thomas. Jillian was really getting jealous of her brother and the cute guy. Really looking forward to the BBQ.
Great writing, a few spelling mistakes, and few grammatical errors.You might want to have someone else proofread the next chapter before you publish it, just to keep everything readable. Overall, really liked the story line and the plot. Great job.
Date: 11/04/19 03:22 pm Title: Chapter 4: Tyler's plan
I can't believe Tyler thought he could get away with the classic sleepover scam.
Seems like Tiffany is developing feelings for Scott.
I'm also surprised out of 57 rules, there isn't one for Tiffany to keep her room immaculate - especially with placing all dirty clothes in the hamper instead of strewn about the floor.
Date: 11/03/19 08:54 am Title: Chapter 1: Mom's Punishment
I'm kind of curious, you wrote earlier that you were new to the site, are all the tags right? You tagged kid-friendly for example, and there is already bra-ripping and jokes about waiting until after operation to share a bed lol (Not that kid-friendly matters on here, since I doubt many kids are on). I personally like stories that are more "adult", not as in pornographic, I just think sex and attraction is a natural part of life. So is kid-friendly meant to be there? Also, are the other tags correct? Will there be hormones and the actual transition?
Anyhow, once again, good start, hope to see more soon.
Author's Response: About the tags I wasn't really sure. I wouldn't say it's kid friendly but I also wouldn't say that it's "adult." I guess there is some cursing and things like that but it is about kids and there isn't any actual sex (and won't be) so I'm not sure if adult really fits it either. I'll look at the other tags to make sure they all fit. Glad you're enjoying the story.
Date: 11/01/19 10:05 am Title: Chapter 1: Mom's Punishment
This review is a bit ahead, but I've already read this on another site and I especially loved the message format form the extra chapter as it gives the story a personal touch, and hopefully you would expand on that.
Date: 10/31/19 05:16 pm Title: Chapter 1: Mom's Punishment
wonderful start luv. It's fun. Some suspension of disbelief but I like where it's going. The only thing is you might want to notify the reader when you're changing point of view. I found it a bit disorienting from chapter 1 in Tyler's point of view, going to Lillian's point of view in the 2nd chapter. Would of loved to see Tyler's point of view of Saturday too. But keep up the good work luv. Don't stop now
Author's Response: Thanks for the comment. Glad you like it! There's going to be a lot of switching perspectives so I try to make it clear who's perspective it is early in the chapter.
Date: 10/31/19 01:43 am Title: Chapter 1: Mom's Punishment
Hi DB, thanks for clarifying the categories. Your story still managed to draw me in, so I'm going to keep reading to see how things go. I want to read more of Tiffany's rules and see how the kids do at school. Age thirteen should be the end of Junior High or the beginning of High School. Awkward time for all kids, even without the appearance changes.
Follow your passion, keep writing, and don't ever let bad reviews bring you down. Write the stories YOU want to tell. And the more time, effort, and passion you put into your craft, the more satisfied you will feel with the outcome. Good luck to you.
Date: 10/31/19 12:48 am Title: Chapter 1: Mom's Punishment
Mom sure did a lot of planning in one hour. Sixty-plus rules between them, breast forms, and a bag of necessities for Tiffany. So the duration is currently two weeks and some change. I don't see where there is time for any sci-fi changes, although I'm sure Tiffany will get her punishment extended a bit. Well, let's see how things go this weekend.
Author's Response: Sorry, I'm new to this site and had accidentally labeled it as Sci Fi! I fixed that and it's now labeled properly!
Date: 10/30/19 05:47 pm Title: Chapter 1: Mom's Punishment
The plot is just mental. I don't see how something like that can ever happen irl for a number of reasons. Besides, MC gives up kinda instantly. Don't see how it can become anything beyond crossdressing at this point as well.