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Reviewer: A_lurker Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 03/26/20 08:58 pm Title: Chapter Fourteen: Nomine

Rereading this story, it occurred to me that Natalia probably got a kick out of Dr. Sauvage’s reaction to the disguise destabilizing and fading. If it ever struck your fancy, you could write an immediate aftermath.

Author's Response: Yes, I suppose I could. I imagine I didn't because I thought it would be a hard scene. One of my dirty little writer's tricks is that when I think a scene will be hard to manage and I'm feeling lazy, I just skip it. As long as I don't skip crucial plot stuff, I figure that skipping scenes that I don't feel like writing keeps things fast and keeps me motivated. Thanks for reading!

Reviewer: A_lurker Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 03/22/20 06:53 am Title: Chapter Fifteen: Festival

If Occultus Imperial Prep, the British chapter, is engaged in espionage, then the Circe gang has got their work cut out for them. The British have historically been second to none when it comes to spycraft.

Author's Response: Then let's hope it's somebody else! ;)

Reviewer: FreundderFiction Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 02/16/20 07:49 am Title: Chapter Fifteen: Festival

The German School is the cheating one.
Germans as the bad Guys, how inovative.
Just kidding great Story.

Author's Response: I'm glad you liked it! To be fair, the Germans aren't the bad guys - just one German teacher at their school. The big bad guys of the story are a trio of a****** American warlocks. Not to cast aspersions against Americans, either - evil assholes can come from any country!

Reviewer: SwiffSwaff Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 01/06/20 10:23 pm Title: Chapter One: Victorious

Just raced through this story in a couple of days, and I'm glad I did! You have a way of making the classic TG tropes seem fresh and engaging, and the story pivots nicely from one mood to another without either seeming rushed or getting bogged down. I enjoyed it a lot!

Author's Response: I'm glad you liked it! I'll be releasing the sequel before too long. In the meanwhile, check out my story, "Unusual Cases". I'll be releasing two chapters a week for the next few weeks.

Reviewer: Sherlykaru Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 01/04/20 02:38 pm Title: Chapter Twenty-One: Prelude to Revenge

Just finally finished reading the story and honestly, what a blast I had reading all, I really like the way the world portrays as what could be when people live to much, morals start to distort and they start to lose any respect for the lesser ones (it's like how mages in Harry Potter say "muggles" with the same tone you would say "animals" or worse). But overall I like the build of the story, the way magic is portrayed, and how slowly but surely revenge shows against those that deserve it. Can't wait for the next part and hear more of how things develop.

Author's Response: Thanks for reading! If you liked this bit about OMBB, then I think you'll love Consequences of Magic, the sequel, which has a lot more on this issue and quite a bit of back-story into the witches. And it has *lots* of revenge. That's due out on TGS in a month or a bit more. In the meanwhile, I'm posting an older story of mine, Unusual Cases, that I'm finally getting around to releasing. I hope you'll keep reading!

Reviewer: Owlnighttime Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 12/31/19 08:27 am Title: Chapter One: Victorious

The only question left is...what if you ate the brownie that you summoned!?
I must say though that I am glad to see Cass joining in on the magic circle. Throughout the story the two seemed to have great synergy and I cannot wait to see them wreck things together. This was quite an enjoyable story and I am grateful that you have been replying to the comments and providing additional explanation.

Author's Response: There'll be more witchcraft with Natalie, Simone, and Cassie in the sequel. Much bigger-time stuff than before. As for what would happen if you ate the brownie you summoned... I suppose that would depend on whether the brownie was an 'edible'. If so, you might have a very interesting time! Thanks for reading!

Reviewer: Taltos Signed starstarstar Report
Date: 12/25/19 12:22 am Title: Chapter One: Victorious

I like your writing and descriptions but I got part way through chapter 6 and I can't continue. It's a good story but it's making my very angry and sad and I just don't think there's going to really be good that comes about as the girls are essentially erased. It's good but it's making me real depressed so I gotta drop this one.

Author's Response: I'm sorry you feel that way. If it's too stressful for you to read then, by all means stop. But if you calm power through chapters, things start to get better for the girls. But it takes a bit.

Reviewer: President_Obama Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 12/22/19 01:00 pm Title: Chapter Twenty-One: Prelude to Revenge

I liked this story. I'll show Michelle she'll love it.

Author's Response: Thanks, Mr. President! That means a lot!

Reviewer: JohnSmith13 Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 12/22/19 10:48 am Title: Chapter Twenty-One: Prelude to Revenge

Good story, I liked it, I hope the continuation.
I thought Natalie would release Elizabeth's memories, turning her into a powerful ally who seeks revenge.
Elizabeth's story seemed interesting and led me to the following conclusion. Bryce are male chauvinist, they protect their daughters but they enslave and humiliate their sisters and cousins r03;r03;(like any male chauvinist). For example Elizabeth was enrolled in “St. Circe ”twice. The first was a Big and abuse of the Littles (like any Big). After her father's death (such after 30 years) she was rejuvenated and enrolled in St. Circe ”as Little. It is possible that many families follow this same pattern.
The reasons of the director Lily: this is my idea (use it, whether you want it or not): centuries ago due to her anonymity the witches were about to become extinct out because there were no witches in training for future generations of witches. In their despair the witches made a pact with certain subjects that looked good (but were evil). These subjects created a communication network to gather the witches scattered throughout the world, founded the magic schools and enrolled in them the daughters of families with political or economic power. In return these subjects wanted the power of the witches and that the witches took an oath before they began to learn magic. However the oath had components of submission, misogyny and abuse. Because of this, each generation of witches was weaker than the previous one and had more resentments and enemies (they did not know the empathy of ancient generations). Principal Lily thinks she could modify the words of the oath to remove the components of submission abuse and enmity. After all, he is limited to teaching magic to those who take an oath but does not specify the words of the oath.

Author's Response: Thanks for the updated review. To be honest, I didn't do a whole lot of thinking about Elizabeth's backstory - it might be interesting to find out. She'll make a cameo in the sequel and we'll find out a bit about what happens to her after the events of OMBB, but she isn't a major character. But in the future? Who knows!

Reviewer: JohnSmith13 Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 12/22/19 10:45 am Title: Chapter Twenty-One: Prelude to Revenge

Sorry, I made a mistake posting my previous comment.
The beginning of the comment corresponded to another story where there is another character named Natalie.
------- -
I write my comments and then translate them, before publishing them. And post the comment in the wrong place, sorry
The first part of the comment corresponded to the following story.
The Twins
https://princesspottypants.wordpress.com/2019/12/15/the-twins-chapter-14/
---- -
Your story did not leave me unsatisfied, sorry if I confused you.
But I'm still waiting for the continuation.

Author's Response: Thanks for the clarification! Look for chapters of Consequences of Magic starting late January or early February!

Reviewer: Day Dreamer Signed Report
Date: 12/21/19 04:19 am Title: Chapter Twenty-One: Prelude to Revenge

I've enjoyed this story a lot. Maybe I'm not being critical enough (grin). I've also enjoyed reading the reviews and author replies, maybe not as much as the story, but it's great to see people CARING so much, even if it's to raise issues.

The story, and some of the comments, remind me of the saying that, "Life isn't fair, and it's not fair that it's not fair." I guess for me, all the painful parts of the story were not so ugly as to be a total turnoff, and were counterbalanced by the mostly (if realistically imperfect) underdog-gets-even upsides.

It also didn't bother me much how quickly and well Natalie adapted to being forcibly feminized. I think people are mostly pretty adaptable, and most would get used to the change faster than they might expect, given minute-to-minute, hour-to-hour personal experience with the new body and social reactions. Not everyone of course. But I'm not sure a sudden forced morphing would be comparable to daily trans-dysphoria. Unable to run a double-blind experiment, we'll never know, and will be left to debate it. Until/unless maybe some really advanced VR comes along?

Author's Response: I think the right amount of criticism is whatever works for you. Personally, I love to hear feedback, whether it's "I just loved this story" or "I think you did XYZ wrong!". There are many criticisms that one could have of how thing proceeded in OMBB, but to that my rejoinder is generally: "Yeah, but magic." I'm sure I'd tweak some of the mechanisms of magic if I was to go back and rewrite, but I think the magic system here is reasonably self-consistent. That said, it always helps to be sure. I am starting double-blind trials in the spring. :D

Reviewer: xexter Signed Report
Date: 12/19/19 04:01 am Title: Chapter One: Victorious

This is a wonderful story, but I was highly disappointed that even though it's listed as being complete, It isn't. If I had known this, I would have passed it by. Please list your stories truthfully in the future. If it was actually complete, I probably would have given it 5 stars.

Author's Response: I don't think I was untruthful here - OMBB is over. It's a novel that ends with a cliffhanger. Maybe we should have a separate tag for that? But as of right now, there isn't one. I had a few reasons for ending things where I did, and I hope you'll bear with me: 1) length - this is already a full-on novel of a story, and I didn't want to double its length into a mammoth, as I needed a break and have other projects that I'm working on; 2) plotting - Natalie's overall story arc is far from over, but her arc as a student at St. Circe's *is* finished, so this was a natural stopping point for that; 3) tone - the tone of the second novel will be somewhat different from the first (though it will still be told from Natalie's POV), and I didn't want to have a sudden shift mid-story and; 4) reception - when I was writing this, I didn't know whether I'd have 10,000 reads and 3 reviews or 100,000 reads and 161 reviews. Obviously, there's been a lot of demand for more, and my Patrons voted to prioritize the sequel for my next story. So mote it be! But if the reception had been poor, I would have wrapped things up in a nice, neat bow with one more chapter and left things at that. I hope that makes sense, and I'm glad you found the story so far wonderful.

Reviewer: Roadbandit Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 12/19/19 03:37 am Title: Chapter One: Victorious

I feel bad that someone unhappy with a fantasy storyline with witches and warlocks, could be upset. If you don’t like the storyline why read it, I with a lot of other readers enjoyed the storyline. It’s fantasy , when I dislike a story I don’t read it ,I read a different one. This writer did an excellent job, it was entertaining, comical and exciting , with a love story in there too. I can’t wait for the sequel, I’m hoping it’s at least half as good as this one.

Author's Response: I'm so glad you enjoyed the story! I tried to add a little bit of everything into the story - I basically threw the kitchen sink at it. I started out with a little thread of an idea for a dark and titillating story, but soon found it growing into a narrative with characters I actually cared about and, as usually happens, I couldn't keep things too bad for too many of them for too long (though I think this sometimes doesn't come across when you're reading vs. writing a story due to pacing). Personally, I think the sequel is just as good, but I suppose you'll have to be the judge of that. More to come!

Reviewer: GwynHawk Signed Report
Date: 12/19/19 02:48 am Title: Chapter One: Victorious

To Ovid Lemma, thank you for your detailed response to my previous review. It's much appreciated and brings clarity to certain parts of your story.

I'm glad to hear that, were you to revise this story, you would work try to lighten its tone and smooth over the more aggressively sadistic parts. Those sections are relatively short so I think the improvement would be well worth the effort. Thank you for that.

I think your idea of a True Form should absolutely be something that is brought up in this story, not left for the sequel. That sounds like a vital piece of information that could be introduced at any number of points - after the protagonist is turned into a dog, after they're threatened with being turned into a slug, or even as early as when they first really examine their body and don't feel dysphoric about it. Had I known that piece of information I would have been less critical on that point. However... I do think there's a problem with this explanation. One of the girls, a lesbian who is magically coerced into becoming attracted to men and to be unable to be attracted to women. She's shown to have a violent, disgusted reaction to her new impulses and a clear desire to return to how she felt before. How does this square with the True Form idea? Isn't a person's sexuality as defining a part of their nature as their sex? How can the protagonist not feel anxiety and disgust at their new body while another character feels revulsion at the new impulses in their brain? I'm worried because if the True Form determines sex, but sexuality isn't tied to the True Form, then that seems to imply that sexuality is learned and not innate and that opens up a whole can of worms right there. I'd be very interested to hear a full account of what True Form means and its implications.

However, I can't agree with you concerning the classes the protagonist takes 'helping them' adapt to their new situation, like in Chapter 4. A trans woman might practice heightening her voice or walking more femininely in order to pass - and that's because she's transitioning of her own free will. The protagonist is a captive being threatened with torture unless she complies. This, to me, does not feel like the protagonist is being 'helped' in any way. It's like they're being subjected to conversion therapy. They're being reprogrammed to speak and act the way that their abusers expect them to. Overall that section made me very uncomfortable, but perhaps it's because of my own sensitivities.

I think, had your story been lighter in tone, established the True Form concept early on, and maybe replaced the chapter 4 etiquette classes with the protagonist sorta becoming more feminine on their own and not in a coercive way... I would have rated your story 5 stars. The issues I have with it aren't massive, I think they're easily fixed, but as it stands, with them included it's like mixing a 1/4 cup of sand into your cake batter. It might be the most delicious chocolate cake but those little problems ruin the enjoyment. Without the sand, I'd probably rate this in my top 5 stories I've ever read online.

Once again I very much appreciate your response, and if you'd like to discuss any of this further (including other parts of your story that I very much enjoyed!) I've sent you an e-mail.

Author's Response: Thanks for the feedback! Obviously, there are lots of tweaks that I'd make to this story if I had to do it all again. In fact, I have plans to retool a number of my stories for online for-sale publication, so I'll probably eventually do that with OMBB, as well, and will definitely take your critique into serious consideration there. One quick point regarding Helena - the girl whose parents were trying to turn her from a strident lesbian into a straight, obedient, feminine girl... for starters, Natalie basically agreed that there was no way to bring such a behavior plan to fruition in good conscience. The idea here was that many of the girls' parents had good intentions that simply went way overboard (e.g. Michelle), but that others (e.g. Helena and Simone) had plans that were incompatible with the girls' general well-being, and these had to be fundamentally altered. Now... why was it even possible for Helena's plan to obviate her sexuality? The witches don't practice mind control, per se, but they *can* alter bodily responses. Basically, Helena's own body was corrupted against her own attractions and desires, becoming aroused to erotic male stimuli and not to erotic female ones (as she was used to) without changing her psychological orientation. If it wasn't clear, this process was reversed, and Helena and Emilia actually end up as a happy couple in the sequel. I hope you'll give the sequel a shot when it comes out - I think you'll find its overall tone more to your liking.

Reviewer: Samlou Signed Report
Date: 12/19/19 02:32 am Title: Chapter One: Victorious

Hmmm.
Its a piece of fiction, not a documentary. And one clearly enjoyed by many. I find it interesting to say a story full of witchcraft and powerful beings from another world is ok, but since the gender dysphoria is unrealistic the story is not enjoyable. Also discounting the possibility that there may be a spectrum of how well people adapt to finding themselves in a body of an opposite gender is a mistake in my opinion. Maybe I am wrong, but I don't think many people who woke up young, beautiful and able to perform powerful magic would overly perseverate on the gender part. If I woke up tomorrow in the body of Yoda I might have a problem with that. But if it came with his powers, I think I could roll with it. Just a different opinion.
Thank you Ovid for making a story I actually looked forward to reading. I had a fair number of critiques myself over the chapters, but who cares? Its your story, not mine. And I appreciated that you shared it with all of us. I am happy the story will go on. Cant wait!

Author's Response: I'm glad you liked it! I try to be open to criticism, and I think this angle was a valid critique - certainly, if I was trying to write a realistic piece that meant to cast a critical eye on society rather than a magical romp, I would be remiss if I didn't try to take a realistic stance on people having their bodies and, in some cases, desires altered against their will. But this was mostly meant to be titillating and exciting, and I hope I at lease succeeded at that. I'm hard at work on the sequel and am pretty happy with where it's going - stay tuned!

Reviewer: GwynHawk Signed star Report
Date: 12/18/19 09:31 pm Title: Chapter Twenty-One: Prelude to Revenge

Before I say anything else, I want to commend the author for the immense time and effort they put into this piece of fiction, and for being so good at responding to its reviews. The worldbuilding is meticulous, the characters each have a unique 'voice', and there were many moments that I genuinely enjoyed. That said, I did not enjoy reading this, and I hope to explain why in a manner that is both constructive and respectful to the author. Ovid Lemma, if you're reading this, please know that I want you to keep writing and not get discouraged by this review.

Be warned, this review contains spoilers.

First, the tone. On My Best Behaviour presents a world both grim and dark, where the elites of society send their children (or in the protagonist's case, their enemies) to institutions where they are physically and emotionally abused and warped, often into literal sex slaves. St. Circe's, the primary location of the story, is one such institution - run by women - which takes young girls and breaks them into subservient slaves or perfect obedient daughters. One of the girls has her sexuality magically inverted from lesbian to straight, which horrifies her even as she is powerless to resist her new 'urges', making the institutions a conversion therapy centre. It also sends these young girls to 'parties' for the neighbouring male-oriented institution, parties where these young girls are seemingly frequently raped.

The 'positive' ending we see leaves many side characters forced to compromise and accept many of the changes their parents wanted to inflict upon them, and the protagonist ends up suffering most of the vile changes their captors inflicted upon them. This world is sickeningly bleak and soul-crushingly grim. It is unjust, vile, and filled with women abusing children and even enabling the imprisonment and torture of the protagonist - even after his innocence is established by the leader of the institution. Leadership that tortures the protagonist, but then becomes an ally near the end of the story and is somehow absolved of their complicity.

I think that the tone of the story could be vastly improved with a few small changes. Have the court documents magically altered so that the protagonist's claims of innocence can't be easily verified. Ease up on the physical and mental changes. Make it clear that the institution wants to help the girls 'become their best selves'. Make the 'parties' with the male school more harmless fun instead of rapefests. Remove the sex toy angle, make it clear from the villain that's the protagonist's fate he has in store but the institution just think they're 'fixing' a wayward daughter. Essentially, make the institution itself have good intentions and have the 'bad actors' be the villain and the privileged girls at the school.

Second, the gender bending. Magnus character was AFAB but has been physically changed to be male. This has been done against their will, with the clear implication that they were not transgender before this occurred. However as the story progresses they become increasingly comfortable with their male body, in less than four months no less. Meanwhile the protagonist was AMAB but was physically changed to be female, again very much against their consent, and with no indication they were transgender before, and with a MUCH faster acclimation to their new body. Both frequently engage in sex and by the end of the story are very comfortable with their genitals.

I'm transgender, and while I certainly don't speak for the community I do have some first-hand experience with gender dysphoria and it's not something you just 'get over' as presented in this story. Being treated as the wrong gender, having incorrect pronouns used, or being forced to wear gendered clothing is painful. Having sex with genitals you know you're not supposed to have, that feels even worse. These feelings should be frequently made known to the reader; instead the protagonist discusses losing their penis at the breakfast table like they dropped a book in the river. Then, later that same chapter, they have sex and it's an overwhelmingly enjoyable experience.

Now, one could argue that the complete absence of gender dysphoria in this story is because both characters were unknowingly transgender the whole time, but that's never clearly established, and it's very much out of character for the protagonist. A constant shit-disturber who refuses to get Stockholm Syndrome, if they were trans they would have lorded the fact that they were trans and liked the gender swap over the villain when they met them. If they weren't trans, they'd have certainly put changing back at the top of their list of things to do, right next to escaping and getting revenge.

These two issues, the tone employed and the gender bending shown, made the story difficult for me to find believable and thus enjoy. I feel like the story needed to double-down one way or the other - to have the protagonist's dysphoria manifest to reinforce the horror of the situation they were in, or to have the situation become less bleak and terrifying to match the nonchalance they treated their physical and emotional changes with. A dark tone with a carefree transition just didn't work for me.

I'm not sure if I'd be willing to read the next part of this story. I'm worried that it's going to go in a direction that makes me just as uncomfortable as its predecessor. But I think the author is talented, and a good writer, and I hope that the next part of the story will move forward and perhaps address some of my concerns.

Author's Response: Thanks for your input - I don't expect only glowing reviews, and well-meaning critique helps a lot. Sorry if this story wasn't your cup of tea - the sequel isn't likely to be, either, though at least some of the themes you took issue with aren't present, and others are addressed in ways that make them make sense. You'll likely find it more to your liking, but if this got a one-star rating, the sequel ain't going to get five stars. That said, some parts of your critique are absolutely on target, especially the shift in how Natalie regards St. Circe's and its staff. My main goal here was to portray Natalie as coming to terms with being stuck in a bad system and figuring out how to manipulate it (including the people who work within it) to her advantage. But if I was to revise this story (this is basically a first draft given a once-through edit), I'd definitely smooth over those parts, add more foreshadowing, and probably make the motivations and actions of some of the characters who seem evil at first (esp. Lily) seem more justifiable and less gleefully sadistic. Mea culpa. And your observation of the excessively grim and often disturbing tone of much of the first half of the story is well-advised. I'd hoped to portray a school/society whose mores were badly out of sync with our current sensibilities (witches and warlocks can live indefinitely long, after all), but I could/should have been more nuanced and had less of a 'shock exploitation' feel about the atmosphere. However, there are also a few criticisms that I feel are off the mark and not due to my shortcomings as a writer/plotter. Most poignant is the critique on body dysphoria, which you devote quite a bit of space to - absolutely a valid concern, but one that I (I thought) fairly clearly explained away with magic. In fact, Natalie has several classes that explicitly help with it and that she decided would be best to acquiesce to to achieve her long-term goals - like it or don't, it's there. Another aspect of this same topic not brought up in this story but explored somewhat in the sequel is the idea of a True Form that each person has and, in this fantasy world, dysphoria would be caused by one's body not matching the True Form and, for better or worse, Magnus and Natalie both had their True Forms magically changed (something that doesn't usually happen - e.g. if you are magically turned into a toad, your True Form is still human). Now... maybe that's not satisfying, and maybe it seems like cheating my way out of a topic you'd like to see explored, but it is what it is. Thank you for all of your feedback - I'll definitely keep all of your critiques and concerns in mind, and hopefully you'll find future stories of mine more to your liking.

Reviewer: Lailaluvs00 Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 12/18/19 05:21 am Title: Chapter Twenty-One: Prelude to Revenge

Can't wait!

Reviewer: blue98 Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 12/18/19 02:36 am Title: Chapter Twenty-One: Prelude to Revenge

I’d just like to say that for some reason Cassie’s character and predicament really stuck out to me. I’ve been working out a lot recently and it was nice to see a fictional character realizing they were physically a badass the way I kind of have in real life lately. Anyways, looking forward to the sequel.

Author's Response: Most of the girls with Cassie's style of behavior plan end up being pretty physically imposing, but she's an outlier even among them. Her physical gifts, both for strength and endurance, have her focusing on activities that emphasize those, and she's *super* competitive, so she's basically in peak athletic condition and dominant in a non-threatening way. If she ever learned martial arts, she's be terrifyingly effective at it, but for now she's just impressively buff and unusually talented at witchcraft - quite the combination. The sequel will be coming soon - I just wrote half a chapter today!

Reviewer: ZZChromosome Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 12/18/19 02:28 am Title: Chapter Twenty-One: Prelude to Revenge

"No more Miss Nice-witch - if they didn't care for me on my best behavior, they definitely wouldn't care for what was coming next." Mu-HAHAHHA!

Awesome way to wrap it up. Looking forward to some next-level witchcraft vengeance!

Author's Response: And vengeance ye shall receive! Lots o' revenge in the new story, lots of learning, and plenty of sex!

Reviewer: Elron Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 12/18/19 12:50 am Title: Chapter Twenty-One: Prelude to Revenge

Well, I was wondering if the tsunami of castration would be by way of chainsaw, axe, or flamethrower. Who knew a letter opener could wreak so much havoc?
I'm just bummed I have to wait so long (anything more than 1-2 days makes me jumpy). I guess I'll have time to catch up on some other stories. In the meantime have a great holiday and a happy new year.

Author's Response: You have a great holiday, too! Sorry for the wait, but I wrote two whole novels between this and the sequel (one non-tg fantasy and a tg vampire novel that I've finished drafting). But the sequel is my priority in my writing pipeline, so I'll roll it out ASAP (I generally don't release stuff until the writing is complete - then I edit/revise/release a chapter or two at a time). Here's a teaser: no castrations so far, but one character who we don't like gets turned into a literal worm. New chapters and a new story in a month in a half - thanks for reading!

Reviewer: AlexaTiresias Signed Report
Date: 12/18/19 12:41 am Title: Chapter Twenty-One: Prelude to Revenge

Wow, it’s going to be torture waiting until the next part of Natalie’s story comes out on TGS! I am disappointed we didn’t get to see her get her full revenge in this story.

Author's Response: Sorry for the wait, but I wanted to wrap the story up around this point (length-wise, it's a full-on novel) and I didn't want to half-a** the revenge. Anything too short would be unsatisfying. Thanks for reading!

Reviewer: Roadbandit Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 12/17/19 10:35 pm Title: Chapter Twenty-One: Prelude to Revenge

Awesome storyline,I loved it, loved the chase with the horses, I loved the unmanning of the friend, I hate the two week wait for the next story CONSEQUENCES OF MAGIC, but we can only ask for a early Christmas present.

Author's Response: Maybe I can come up with something special for Christmas, but Consequences of Magic will have to wait a bit past that. But I promise I'm working on it! Thanks for reading!

Reviewer: Nichola Sperry Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 12/17/19 08:21 pm Title: Chapter Twenty-One: Prelude to Revenge

Thrilling!
Just odd little drops of gory...
Moments of terror, despair, relief, joy and satisfaction.
And another story to follow...
I hated the story but could not put it down, which testifies to the authors skills.
5 stars from me.

Author's Response: I appreciate the five stars and am sorry you hated the story. For what it's worth, the sequel has a somewhat different feel. There should still be plenty of bits to keep those who liked the beginning part of OMBB entertained but, overall, the arc is much more empowering. I hope that, when it comes, it'll still deserve 5 stars but that you'll like the tone a lot more.

Reviewer: Grover Signed Report
Date: 12/17/19 08:19 pm Title: Chapter One: Victorious

Oh revenge can be most sweet. I can very easily see Bryce hung with his own rope. Maybe these magic users have been using loopholes to avoid magic's wrath, but he is the type to go too far. Looking forward to the next story!

Author's Response: I'll try not to keep you waiting too long! I can confirm that at least some of the guilty parties were be directly and indirectly hoist by their own petards. But for now, they'll just have to stew in their simmering anger at Natalie slipping their clutches.

Reviewer: Amanda Lynn Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 12/17/19 08:03 pm Title: Chapter One: Victorious

Looking forward to the sequel! Love Natalie.

Author's Response: I'm glad you like it! I'm already 90,000 words into the sequel, so there'll be more before too long!

Reviewer: Faye Kistry Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 12/16/19 03:00 pm Title: Chapter Twenty: Graduation

This has been quite a ride, we’re in the end game now. Thank you for sharing such a well crafted and enjoyable tale, I’m really looking forward to seeing how you wrap it all up.

Author's Response: I'm glad you've enjoyed it so far - I'll release the last chapter later today or sometime tomorrow. It'll close up this bit of story with some finality, but there will be lots of revenge left to go (just FYI).

Reviewer: ZZChromosome Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 12/16/19 05:35 am Title: Chapter Twenty: Graduation

"Now, my only obligation was revenge."

Muhahhaha!!!!

Author's Response: REVENGE!!!

Reviewer: Yuna Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 12/15/19 05:50 pm Title: Chapter Twenty: Graduation

You got me hooked, I can't wait for the sequel.

All in all, a great story and really well written. I'm really looking forward to a well deserved "reward" to the Bryces for giving an education to Natalie.

Storm is coming indeed.

Author's Response: I'm glad you like it - I'm hard at work getting it done. Lots of good revenge in it. An education is a powerful thing... especially when it's an education in witchcraft. I hope you'll keep reading!

Reviewer: Elron Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 12/14/19 04:26 am Title: Chapter Twenty: Graduation

Wow, you have really set all the chess pieces in place to put Rowan into checkmate. I hope Natalie opens up a very large can of magical whoop-ass over Rowan and Lucian for even thinking they had the right to abuse Natalie the way they have.

I can see why your initial comment of 'will Natalie even want to leave St Crice's? makes sense now. First is the torture from the male Bryces, and second is Natalie becoming a very powerful witch. I can see where she would want to continue her studies, increasing her abilities, and helping the other less fortunate girls.

I'm saddened to think that this story is drawing to its inevitable conclusion. It has been a very wild roller coaster ride. I hope you will continue to write stories of magical TG. You are a masterful storyteller. Thank you.

Author's Response: Thanks for the compliment and for all of your input. OMBB is basically the story of Natalie as a student at St. Circe's, and only the first and last chapters happen off-campus. Obviously, there isn't room in a single chapter for the sort of revenge that's so richly deserved, so it will mostly happen in the sequel, Consequences of Magic, which I'm mostly finished with right now (~2/3 done).

Reviewer: AlexaTiresias Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 12/14/19 02:38 am Title: Chapter Twenty: Graduation

Oooh boy, Rowan and Lucian are not going to know what hit them. I can’t wait to read what happens next!

Author's Response: Horrific comeuppance is headed their way, but they only get the barest taste of it in this story - I'll start releasing chapters to the sequel in late Jan / early Feb.

Reviewer: Maria Esperanza Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 12/14/19 12:17 am Title: Chapter Twenty: Graduation

Honey, you've got a big storm comin'.

Author's Response: Sure do! Though there's only one pretty busy chapter left, and then the real meat of Natalie's revenge happens in the sequel.

Reviewer: Lilchelly Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 12/11/19 08:37 am Title: Chapter Nineteen: Sisters

Now for this chapter. HOLY FUDGE YES YOU TRICKED HER! GO NATALIE! I may not agree with all your choices but that was absolutely brilliant. I hope you continue to fudge her over, and yes the blood pact against Luci boy, sounds awesome. Now THAT is a good idea! Oh 4 months left, yikes that deadline!

Reviewer: Lilchelly Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 12/11/19 08:30 am Title: Chapter Nineteen: Sisters

None of my words are against you as a writer. I'm angry at Natalie, she could do SO Much more. It doesn't have to be bloody, but to pretend Doctor Sauvage is a decent person is absolutely asinine. I wonder how many Emmy's htere are that are out there? How many others she has scrwed over for the sake of money? And the other schools like theirs? Is she really changing the schools, if so that's good. I have nothing against your writing or the way the story is going. I just am mad at NATALIE, not you, I apologize. When my own characters do something stupid I kyell at them too, sorry... I did in no way mean to say anything hurtful to you. I apologize... I get a little TOO into stories almost as if they are living breathing people... it's part of my mental thing where I cant discern reality and fantasy that well I think. I'm not sure, anyway again I'm sorry. I deeply apologize for any offense. You are a really talented writer and I would never blame you for this. Sure you wrote it, but Natalie is the one I"m mad at xD Also yeah I can deal without the blood and death, you're right there are fates worse than death so I'm eager to see what happens with that.

Just made me upset how she has literally hated doctor sauvage so long but because of how long she's been at the school, she's growing complacent. I'd really love to see them all get theirs for how many times they've broken their oaths especially concerning Emmy

Reviewer: rudoliastaehel Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 12/11/19 05:38 am Title: Chapter One: Victorious

Super interesting as always, that was really clever too.

Btw, on the topic of the boy's education, was it ever explained how did Natalie survive the 'turn you into a newt' thing in the party?

Author's Response: I'm glad you liked it. Regarding why Natalie didn't turn into a newt, I suppose she had a natural reflex to defend herself magically. The magically-talented take a lot more oomph to transform, which is why it took two goes for the Gangling Men to transform her completely. On top of that, Natalie's magical coming out broke her control collar and contrition collar, adding those magical energies to her own defense, making a transformation in that moment very difficult. Later on, without the benefit of that added magic, the Advanced Bigs were able to transform her, though they also had her True Name, which also makes it a lot easier.

Reviewer: AlexaTiresias Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 12/11/19 05:17 am Title: Chapter Nineteen: Sisters

Natalie best be careful: as I have mentioned before, dealing with the fair folk (of which I would assume the brownie would be counted a member of) is traditionally very tricky. If she’s smart she will be very mindful of her words around it.

Author's Response: Indeed.. and sometimes summoned folk overstay their welcome. In the sequel, it comes up that the school's chaufferus are also summoned beings known as "Chauffae", who feed off of the energies of magical transportation.

Reviewer: Lilchelly Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 12/11/19 03:53 am Title: Chapter Eighteen: The Two Headmistresses

What the actual hell, so she's just going to suck up to the school now? Suddenly she's little good girl and now is okay with the horrific atrocities the school has committed? Natalie you're a weak pathetic little girl and you don't have the ovaries to do what is RIGHT. They all need to pay, and you're as stupid as they wanted you to be. Doctor Sauvage is a demon incarnate, she transformed you with glee, and she happily brainwashed Emmy, did you fucking forget that? You mentioned the girl with the sexuality change, I cant figure out if you fixed it, but I'm guessing you didn't because you're an idiot. I'm so mad at you right now. you could have burned all these schools to the ground along with their "donors" with what you are achieving. Guess you'd rather just be another cog in the machine

Author's Response: I'm sorry you don't like the way the story is unfolding, though I think I should clarify a few things. Regarding the girl with the sexuality change, Natalie did help her in chapter 18. Natalie didn't get horrible, bloody revenge on everybody in the school, but she's done one better - corrupt the very principles of the school that sought to break her and use her smarts to sculpt it into an institution that could actually help her and the girls of the school. I know you want a bloody and horrible revenge, but there's zero death or gore in this story until the very last chapter. And the sequel, which is around 2/3 done, will have a lot more revenge (but still very little violence). I'm sorry this hasn't been your cup of tea, but I don't think I've done anything out of keeping with decent narrative here. :/

Reviewer: ZZChromosome Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 12/09/19 04:13 pm Title: Chapter Nineteen: Sisters

" Others will try to eat your pets and children, so please be mindful."

Heh, I promise to not summon anything that might eat pets or children. My daughter would notice if one of her guinea pigs went missing.

Author's Response: Just a fair warning - even if creatures you summon from other realms are bound to do your bidding, they might do other stuff, too! For instance, I'm pretty sure guinea pigs were summoned from the cute dimension, so be mindful of their little tricks!

Reviewer: H20_Mel0n Signed starstarstarstar Report
Date: 12/09/19 03:08 pm Title: Chapter Nineteen: Sisters

I am having fun reading your work, even tho it drifted very much apart from the content I prefer. It’s very well written. Looking forward for more.

Author's Response: I'm glad you like it, even if it strays away from your preferred sub-genre. Thanks for reading!

Reviewer: Sthelen Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 12/06/19 07:24 pm Title: Chapter Eighteen: The Two Headmistresses

Wooooo! This is getting even more exciting by the moment. Can't wait to keep reading. Awesome!

By the way, you wrote the expression "mon chérie" which reminds me of the previous time Natalie said "ma amie". This is kind of a similar predicament, in this case the word "chérie" doesn't start with a vowel and we aren't forced to use "mon", meaning that it goes as usual with "ma". Being the actual wording "ma chérie".

Author's Response: I thought I'd corrected that - oops! Thanks for pointing out my mistake! I've just posted the next chapter - just a few more to go, and then there will be a few months' lag while I finish up the sequel (about 2/3 finished right now). Thanks for reading!

Reviewer: Day Dreamer Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 12/06/19 03:03 am Title: Chapter Eighteen: The Two Headmistresses

What an amazing plotline! I figured we'd be lucky if you continued the story long enough to see, for example, Natalie "merely" take over as Headmistress of Circe's; but, no, you have a lot more than that up your sleeve. I'm loving the new expositions, developments, and challenges. Good job, for example, showing how even "evil" Dr Sauvage is also a human being.

The cover art that appeared in the first few chapters was absolutely inspired, I still laugh when I see it again. "See me after class" indeed!

I like how you treat magic as having rules, learnable rules, albeit complex. So it's a kind of physics too, even if a metaphysics. I guess it's only fair that it be that way, after all, the alternative is random, anarchical chaos. Still, I appreciate your system of magic, eg that which is done by magic can be undone by magic, and it hinges on math-like understanding of trans-dimensional symbols.

So where does Natalie and crew go from here? Can't wait to find out!

Author's Response: I'm glad you like the story so far! I'm hard at work drafting a sequel, currently titled Consequences of Magic, which will probably make it to TGS sometime in late January / early February. And I'm glad you appreciate the cover art, too - it usually takes me a few hours to put a cover together, so it's gratifying to see that it pays off. The system of magic that I've kludged together here is a soft magic system insofar as there's lots of figurative and literal hand-waving involved, but I'm trying to stick with an internally consistent rule system that magic always sticks to and that you might actually be able to outline for somebody (at least after the second book - there's lots more explanation of how the magic in Natalie's world works). Thanks for reading!

Reviewer: ZZChromosome Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 12/06/19 01:43 am Title: Chapter Eighteen: The Two Headmistresses

Ch. 18 - Getting scary again. I wonder what Ms. Sauvage is up to? Is she tricking Natalie or the Board?

Author's Response: Well, seeing as how the board can fire her and Natalie can't, it's easy to guess where her loyalties lie. However, that's not to say Natalie doesn't have an 'out' here. We'll soon find out who is cleverer: Natalie or Dr. Sauvage? Thanks for reading!

Reviewer: Lailaluvs00 Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 12/05/19 07:07 pm Title: Chapter Eighteen: The Two Headmistresses

Hmm so many very interesting developments! And the chosen one to boot?

Author's Response: It looks like it! Now... the prophecy *could* be wrong. But right now, it doesn't seem like it. Much more will be revealed in the sequel.

Reviewer: Amanda Lynn Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 12/05/19 06:00 pm Title: Chapter One: Victorious

How does she get away with this blood pact and what are the symbols?
I'm really loving this.

Author's Response: I'm glad you like it! There are two ways to get out of a blood pact. The first way is to satisfy the pact's requirements. For instance, if you promise (via blood pact) to name your child Sillypants McGee, then name your child that, then the pact is now over. You can also 'fool' the pact by calling your child Sillypants McGee and making everybody *think* that's her name, even if her legal name is Jane Jones. If the person at the other end of the pact agrees that the pact is satisfied, then you can get out of it by tricking them. Conversely, if the person on the other end of the pact finds out, they can declare the pact broken at which point (if you are correct) the pact is broken and the powers of magic (e.g. Mistress Starlight) will grant you power over the pact-breaker equal to the power invested by both sides of the pact. Usually, the terms of a pact are forged with witching symbols. These symbols are the same ones used in rituals, spells, and some potions, and are complex many-dimensional shapes that can manipulate the fabric of reality when called upon. There are ways to do magic without witching symbols, but it's a lot less powerful.

Reviewer: Roadbandit Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 12/02/19 09:25 pm Title: Chapter One: Victorious

I became a Patreon of yours to read the rest of the story, I won’t give anything away; but I would suggest you use a pdf format for your Patreons it is easy to read it,at least for me. Thank you for a awesome storyline.

Author's Response: Thanks for your Patronage and thanks for the input - I'll post a survey in the next few days to see what survey people would prefer. Please chime in when I post it! The sequel to this story is a bit past half-way done, and I think/hope it will do the original proud.

Reviewer: Lailaluvs00 Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 12/02/19 01:12 am Title: Chapter Seventeen: Uproar

Oh how I love reading each new chapter! Lily is still a mystery, and Natalie quite the hothead. She was so controlled during her interrogation so why did she need to suddenly start hurling personal insults? Also Not sure why she dropped the Dr's pin as it was so valuable to her defence. But worse happen In Anger.

Author's Response: I'm glad you like it! Good question as to why Natalie blew her top in this chapter - the way I was trying to portray it, Natalie can play it cool on her own, but when she sees someone else (like the other littles) getting manipulated or used, she can't keep her anger in check. As for why she dropped the pin - maybe it was just a move made in the heat of the moment, but it was probably a good idea. With Dr. Sauvage knowing that Natalie was running around with a magical weapon that could be used against her, the repercussions would be fast and they'd be harsh. Giving it up bought Natalie some time.

Reviewer: Amanda Lynn Signed Report
Date: 12/01/19 04:29 pm Title: Chapter One: Victorious

This is getting real good. I thought that she'd become the most powerful witch.

Author's Response: She's certainly going to become *a* powerful witch. Though she might actually be tied for most powerful.

Reviewer: ZZChromosome Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 12/01/19 01:44 pm Title: Chapter Seventeen: Uproar

Chapter 17 - Awesome chapter! Balance has been restored somewhat and it's now a battle of wits and determination - two things Natalie has in spades.

Author's Response: That she does! And she'll need them because Sauvage has a plan to get back at her - that's in the chapter I just submitted. Thanks for reading!

Reviewer: Elron Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 12/01/19 09:39 am Title: Chapter Seventeen: Uproar

Wow, what a complicated chapter. Natalie is really starting to show her 'witch-smarts' as well as her magical power. She is definitely a force not to be reckoned with.

I am amazed at how well you have woven together this tapestry of a story. I am inclined to believe that if I rearranged the letters in 'Ovid Lemma' I would get 'JK Rowlings'. Or at least 'Natalie Bryce'. Your writing really is that good. You make me believe that this is all real. I can't think of a higher compliment. Please keep writing, you have amazing talent.

Author's Response: I'm so glad you like it. In the next chapter (just submitted), we find out a little bit about Lily's motivations and why she thinks Natalie and Simone are two prophesied witches of incredible power. This forms the basis for a lot of what happens in the second book (currently in draft). And what a huge compliment about my writing! It's very gratifying to have people appreciate your art. Even in a niche genre like tg fiction, there's a difficult craft to writing narratives, and it feels good to hear that I'm doing it well.

Reviewer: Maria Esperanza Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 12/01/19 08:11 am Title: Chapter Seventeen: Uproar

Hell. Fucking. Yes.

Author's Response: I'm glad you liked it! I'm working on the sequel now, and there's a lot more magical a**-kicking.

Reviewer: Nichola Sperry Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 12/01/19 07:18 am Title: Chapter Seventeen: Uproar

That was thrilling!

Author's Response: I'm glad you liked it! More's coming out shortly!

Reviewer: Roadbandit Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 12/01/19 06:06 am Title: Chapter Seventeen: Uproar

Excellent chapter. I loved what you wrote, hopefully the Bryces will let Natalie go and Lily will be her mother? I love Marie being Natalies little even for that little bit. I can’t wait for the next chapter.

Author's Response: I wouldn't bet on the Bryces letting Natalie go - Rowan Bryce doesn't forgive or forget. But that just means she'll have to beat him. I'm glad you like it so far - I just submitted the next chapter.

Reviewer: AlexaTiresias Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 12/01/19 05:48 am Title: Chapter Seventeen: Uproar

It would seem that much like IRL non-magical contracts, magical contracts are not enforceable if they were signed under duress. At least, that is what it seems like. Also, I must say, Dr. Sauvage fell for one of the oldest tricks in the book when she interrogated Natalie. It reminds me once again of dealing with the Fair Folk; they won’t ever lie to you directly, but they will twist your words to best suit their own ends. IRL polygraphs are unreliable enough to begin with, and it would seem that the magical equivalent is even more so. Although Natalie’s immunity to the advanced bigs’s magic raises an important question: considering Natalie’s size, do the advanced bigs need magic to torment her?

Author's Response: You cannot physically force or magically compel somebody to sign a magical contract, but you *can* use psychology and threats of repercussions to get them to agree to it. However (it doesn't really come up here, but is mentioned in the sequel), the less enthusiastic a person is about signing the contract, the weaker it is. I suppose the Advanced Bigs don't need magic to torment Natalie... but she's an increasingly poor choice of a person to f*** with. For instance, she managed to temporarily turn one of their number into a gorilla, and they have no idea how.

Reviewer: blue98 Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 12/01/19 05:16 am Title: Chapter Seventeen: Uproar

Glad shit is hitting the fan! A shakeup is fun.

Author's Response: I'm glad you like it! The shake up continues in the new chapter I've just posted!

Reviewer: Roadbandit Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/28/19 04:31 pm Title: Chapter Sixteen: Cheaters

One last thought on this chapter, if she did do Lily a solid with finding the saboteur for the games, Lily could promote her to a big and give her , her own little to corrupt her to the sisterhood ways. I hope I didn’t ruin any of your plots. This storyline can take so many turns from the end of this chapter.

Author's Response: In a way, Lily does just this - as we'll see in the just-released chapter, Simone is now in on the witchcraft thing, and she'll prove to be quite adept at it.

Reviewer: Roadbandit Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/28/19 02:45 am Title: Chapter Sixteen: Cheaters

U know when u called Magnus the other name, I thought it was a dig like on Bewitched Sams mother kept calling her husband different names

Author's Response: Haha! Well, when Liam got the name wrong, it was a bit of a dig. When *I* got it wrong, that was just me being dumb. :P

Reviewer: Amanda Lynn Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/28/19 12:04 am Title: Chapter One: Victorious

Loving this story.

Author's Response: Glad you like it! More to come!

Reviewer: Elron Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/27/19 10:29 pm Title: Chapter Sixteen: Cheaters

This was a very complex chapter. Many dynamics at work. The cheating, the rivalries, Natalie's asshole 'stepbrother'.

I would have thought there would have been safeguards in place to prevent cheating by any team. After all, they are all magic schools. I think Natalie's plan to out the cheaters was ingenius. Too bad she took things too far. I think Natalie should have owned up to her role (the majority role) in what happened right when it all went down. That's the only honorable thing to do. Throwing Simone under the bus, even to save her later is not equivalent.

I wish Magnus (who sometimes is called Marcus) would have beat the shit out of Lucian the moment he accused Natalie of raping his sister. But I'm sure the Bryce's connections would have made things very bad for Magnus.

So was Maria's recommendation for Natalie to participate in magic done out of respect, or in the hope she would fail miserably? I'm guessing the latter.

At any rate, you've got a lot going on here, and you are orchestrating the symphony incredibly well. Thank you.

Author's Response: Thanks for the feedback - regarding my goof on Magnus's name - thanks for pointing it out. I've corrected the error. I think there was a Marcus in a book I was reading when I wrote the chapter and I subconsciously slipped it in there. Mea culpa! The contest most definitely should have had cheating safeguards in place already - who can say why it didn't? Perhaps the age-old tradition was that no honorable magic-user would cheat... or perhaps it was that, if nobody can tell that you've cheated then it's fair game. In any case, there *was* cheating this time around, and it *was* caught... maybe they'll be more careful next year. Should Natalie have come clean about the whole thing? Yes, ethically that would have been the best thing to do... and, while she's pretty good, she isn't perfect. I imagined it by justifying it by thinking: if we're both in deep trouble, then we're both f*****. If only Simone is in deep trouble, I might be able to help her out. As for Marie's recommendation... probably a bit of both? I think she'd like to see Natalie fail and be humiliated, but she also has a begrudging respect for her ability.

Reviewer: Lailaluvs00 Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/27/19 12:41 pm Title: Chapter Sixteen: Cheaters

Fantastic as always! Just one bit of confusion, I thought our heros gymnastics routine was for entertainment only and not judging?

Author's Response: Sorry about the confusion, and perhaps I didn't explain it well. When the gymnastics team marched in during the opening parade, they did a little performance that was *not* scored. The gymnastics event later in the evening *was* scored. However, the intermediate routines were weighted much less than the advanced routines when it came to assessment.

Reviewer: ZZChromosome Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/27/19 12:31 pm Title: Chapter Sixteen: Cheaters

Chapter 16 - I could feel the dramatic tension throughout the competition. You really are a phenomenal writer. I like the way you balance things so I'm never sure if things are going to go Natalie's way or not.

Author's Response: I'm glad you enjoy my writing! I put a lot of work into it and it's gratifying to see it pay off!

Reviewer: Roadbandit Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/27/19 10:12 am Title: Chapter Sixteen: Cheaters

Excellent chapter, enough magic to make me happy, cannot wait to see what happens next. I hope Lily and Natalie become closer .

Author's Response: I'm glad you liked it! As for what will happen with Lily and Natalie in the aftermath of the Winter Festival... stay tuned!

Reviewer: ropp86 Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/27/19 02:47 am Title: Chapter Fifteen: Festival

Love the story so far!! That cliffhanger has me wanting more and thats after binging 15 chapters in the last day or so.

Author's Response: I'm glad you like it! I've just uploaded another chapter, and it should be posted within a few hours. I hope you'll keep reading!

Reviewer: Jinxd Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/25/19 01:56 am Title: Chapter One: Victorious

I like the story a lot. I knew very early on that when it was done, I'd experience that sort of melancholy you get when you finish something good and now it is over.

I like Natalie as a character. She always had talent, but no real need to apply it - until she feels a need to right the injustices suffered by her fellow littles (and of course save her own ass as well).

Let me say that this is truly an excellent work, before I voice my relatively minor gripes.

You were almost my hero when you provided descriptions of bust sizes in CH10 - but then you stumbled on a pet peeve of mine - using the word "exponential" to describe a function that is most decidedly NOT exponential. Normally I just grin and bear it, because such usage is too commonplace for it to really be considered incorrect... however Natalie is supposedly very educated in maths, so I was a bit disappointed to see her being so inaccurate with her language, in the midst of what seemed to be a properly technical passage.

Another time I was disappointed in Natalie was in Chapter 13: "Truth be told, half the reason I did it was to give Cassie a taste of her own medicine - how would she like it if Natalie got some side action?" ... I kind of thought she was above this sort of pettiness. Now, obviously she doesn't necessarily have to be perfect, but I liked her more without this side. I'd have enjoyed the scene more without it - it kind of undermines the exploration of this side of her sexuality.

One thing I'd have liked to see more of is celebration at the successful altering of the behavior plans. That was quite a coup! I wouldn't have minded a heartwarming scene where they smuggle some victuals or something and have a little party. I can kind of get why they don't - the fruits of their success aren't immediate, so maybe they don't feel such a rush. But I would have enjoyed being able to revel with them in their success some more.

I really liked the naming ritual in chapter 14, but felt like Natalie should have had some more gravitas about it. To me, choosing a female true name is kind of an obvious "point of no return" when it comes to ever being a man again. That said, Natalie has always been more occupied with problems more immediate than restoring her gender, and in this scene in specific she is distracted by fearing that this scheme of hers might fail... but still. I'd like her to think about what it really means to choose to be Natalia Cadence Storm.

Those were my biggest complaints. Sorry I took a rather critical tack, when instead I could have just talked at length about all the things you do right - which is a great many! This is a great story, and I look forward to reading the rest of it.

Author's Response: Thanks for your detailed feedback - I don't ever, ever take criticism personally (unless it's an attack on me, rather than my writing). I'll certainly consider them carefully if/when I do a rewrite (I might publish this as an ebook eventually). Out of curiosity, what *would* you call the function?

Reviewer: ZZChromosome Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/24/19 12:17 pm Title: Chapter Fifteen: Festival

Chapter 15 - I liked the way you gave this chapter a Harry Potter vibe without copying Harry Potter at all.

Author's Response: That was definitely part of the inspiration, though this is obviously in a way different world of magic than Harry Potter. Thanks for reading!

Reviewer: Day Dreamer Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/24/19 02:55 am Title: Chapter Fifteen: Festival

This is growing into an absolutely fantastic story! Creatively imagined and excellently written. It's one of those rare postings where I drop everything to read a new chapter, and usually reread it again soon to see what I missed. Especially the end of Nomine (14), I had to experience the last part multiple times because it was so spectacular and vivid. "I am."

I guess I love stories where the protagonist does some suffering (but nothing gratuitously evil, I'm not into that) and then attains greater power and retribution. Natalie is such a gem, forced into gender-swapped servitude, but with resilience, cunning, and innate strength, growing into, and apparently accepting, her revised circumstances. "Storm" indeed.

Unlike some other reviewers, I'm not troubled by her rapid learning of witchcraft. After all, this is a story about a special character, a rare individual -- and more time passes in the plot than it takes to read it -- so it's believable.

"They that sow the wind, shall reap the whirlwind"!

Author's Response: I'm glad you've enjoyed the story so far! I've always loved underdog stories where the hero becomes a badass despite (and hopefully because of) the undesirable circumstances they find themselves in. And what's a story like that without a montage or two to get them up to snuff? One of the things that I've tried to emphasize in this story is that Natalie's biggest change might not even be physical - she's turned from a gifted but lazy dude into a girl who's absolutely and tirelessly driven. And when she pulls badassery, magical or otherwise, it's usually not just because she's insanely talented (which, in some areas, she is) but because she works twice as hard as everybody else. Natalie is all about identifying attainable goals that will further her long-term ambitions and then tirelessly working to execute them. And, for good or for ill, people like that change the world.

Reviewer: Roadbandit Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/24/19 02:13 am Title: Chapter Fifteen: Festival

Excellent chapter, but the real fireworks must come in the next chapter, I loved how Natalie put Marie in her place without magic, but I wanted to see the magic. I’m sure it will be coming.

Author's Response: Yes, it's definitely coming! Stay tuned - I'll post the next chapter on Monday-Tuesday!

Reviewer: Amanda Lynn Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/24/19 01:10 am Title: Chapter One: Victorious

Will Natalie be a hero? Will it be a silent hero or will she be caught using magic to stop magic?
Very interresting story.

Author's Response: We'll find out in the next chapter (at least insofar as the Winter Festival goes). I hope you'll keep reading to find out!

Reviewer: Amanda Lynn Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/24/19 01:01 am Title: Chapter One: Victorious

Will Natalie be a hero? Will it be a silent hero or will she be caught using magic to stop magic?
Very interresting story.

Reviewer: Lailaluvs00 Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/23/19 07:31 am Title: Chapter Fourteen: Nomine

Oh Mama, Natalia has tapped deep into the roots of the universe. The stars are all aswirl as the clouds of great portent form on the horizon. ;-)

Author's Response: Only a very powerful witch has the wherewithal to choose her own True Name. And while Natalie's enemies should be quaking in their boots, part of her job is now going to be making sure those enemies don't know about the power she wields. Thanks for reading!

Reviewer: Owlnighttime Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/22/19 09:05 am Title: Chapter One: Victorious

If that is the case, then I am excited and can’t wait to see who the new member is. I really do like this story. To be honest, I initially started reading this story for the sex scenes and was disappointed when I realized that there would not be much, however, I kept reading because the storyline and your writing was quite capitivating. The words you use are interesting and the sentence structures are unique. The magical aspect of the story also drew in my interest of fantasy. Now, about the story, this could be perverse of me, but I can’t help thinking that all (or most) of the things that Natalie has done with her magic (mostly change the book plans, but maybe even infiltrating the naming ritual) were trials posed at her as an initiate by Lily to prove her validility as a worthy witch.

Author's Response: Some of my stories are fuckfests, some of them are barely R-rated, and this one is somewhere in-between. There will be more sex scenes to come, of course, but also lots of character-driven plot. I'm glad you enjoy the writing and the fantasy. While Natalie's challenges haven't been designed as trials to prove her worth as an initiate, Lily certainly has placed Natalie in situations where she has to come up with ways to prove herself and work her way out of trouble. A good witch is crafty, and Natalie is definitely that!

Reviewer: Lailaluvs00 Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/22/19 05:36 am Title: Chapter Fourteen: Nomine

Oh Mama, Natalia has tapped deep into the roots of the universe. The stars are all aswirl as the clouds of great portent form on the horizon. ;-)

Author's Response: Great things are afoot, indeed... but first, she'll have to make it through the Winter Festival - part 1 of that up later today!

Reviewer: Elron Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/22/19 03:22 am Title: Chapter Fourteen: Nomine

Dayum, Martin may have been turned into a petite girl, but she has got bigger balls than he ever did! I guess as soon as Natalie told Headmistress that she wanted to get her witch name that she would find some way to do it, whether Lilly allowed it or not. That was a great plan that Natalie used, very cunning. And Lilly's reaction to Natalia Cascade Storm really foreshadowed the force that Natalie is going to become. Maybe Lilly can see Natalie's future? But if that's the case it is reasonable to assume Lilly should have seen the truth behind Natalie being enrolled at St Circe's. Oh well, can't wait for the next chapter. Keep 'em coming, please.

Author's Response: Yup, that little Natalie is a force to be reckoned with. As a little spoiler, Lily can't see the future, per se, but she has a book of prophecies (more on that later), and Natalie fulfills certain elements of a few of them. Lily didn't *immediately* see the truth behind Natalie's enrollment - she's a longtime administrator who'd grown comfortable in her role, even if she didn't like parts of the job. But if she hadn't been jolted from her complacency already, this will definitely do it. Thanks for reading!

Reviewer: H20_Mel0n Signed starstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/21/19 03:03 pm Title: Chapter Fourteen: Nomine

I get the feeling that you skipped a chapter. After all that fear Natalie was feeling last chapter continuing on as if nothing happened strikes as a bit strange. Would have been nice to see Natalie despairing a bit and then getting build up by something again (maybe friends or lovers). Anyways, nice chapter.

Author's Response: Sorry that bit got resolved too quickly. Maybe if I ever do a rewrite (I might if I decide to post this for sale somewhere), I'll add another few sections or a mini-chapter about this. However, there's so much punishment and despair already built into this story that I was also worried about being too heavy handed. Thanks for the critique!

Reviewer: Amanda Lynn Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/21/19 02:28 pm Title: Chapter One: Victorious

If Lily is scared, everybody else should need depends.

Author's Response: Spoiler - Lily is privy to certain witch prophecies, and she's just seen one click into place.

Reviewer: Nichola Sperry Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/21/19 01:32 pm Title: Chapter Fourteen: Nomine

Chapter 14, That was worth waiting for!
Excitement and tension. Of course the "What's next?" rings loud.
Thank you

Author's Response: What's next? Why, the Winter Festival, which will surely be spoken of for years to come!

Reviewer: ZZChromosome Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/21/19 01:31 pm Title: Chapter Fourteen: Nomine

Chapter 14, best chapter yet. It felt right, it felt powerful, it felt permanent. Very impressive writing. And I liked the cliff-hangery foreshadowing at the end there. Makes me want to read the rest of the story right away. Alas...

Author's Response: More coming today - I'm glad you liked it. I wrote this story in a pretty episodic way - lots of little story arcs coming and going across the book. I'm drafting the sequel now, and it's a little more single-minded, but I think readers of this will like it, too.

Reviewer: Roadbandit Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/21/19 11:39 am Title: Chapter Fourteen: Nomine

That was awesome Lily knew it was her after the naming. I hope the next chapter comes fast. Very well done.

Author's Response: The next chapter is coming sometime today - I'm glad you liked this one!

Reviewer: Amanda R Signed starstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/21/19 10:41 am Title: Chapter Fourteen: Nomine

Wish Marie had been a better...rival. Someone Natalie lost to more consistently. Like a darker reflection of her. Really good and talented with magic. But much more concerned with tradition and keeping the order of things the same while Natalie wanted to tear it down. Perhaps they could've grown to respect the other but it could've been a constant and unrelenting war of magical oneupmanship rather then Natalie clearly being better. Think it would've kept Natalie more nicely grounded.

She's getting too good at stuff a bit too quickly. And while seeing her get taken down a peg brutally last chapter was painful it was good for the character and it's a bit disappointing she so easily has conquered it now. She's struggled yes but once she decided to go full witch and learn magic her roadblocks all fell away a bit too quickly. It's less satisfying then if she still had to work at things and still failed to the more experienced and less talented simply thanks to their experience and seeing certain things before.

Overall though story has definitely improved. Still find the school a little overly dark especially with the whole witch part of it and don't understand how making weak easily manipulated girls fits into their witchy goddess 'this is totally ok' as a thing but that changes want to be made by characters therein it's better then it started as.

Author's Response: Sorry to disappoint with Marie and a lack of an obvious rival - I appreciate the critique and think that, in retrospect, it's one of the main weaknesses of the story. While there's obviously a Big Bad who Natalie wants to reap revenge against, a closer, more in-your-face rival would be nice. There are other challenges, obviously, but a consistent and challenging villain would be nice. At her current level of skill, Natalie is much better than most of the students because most of them are mediocre talents and she is decidedly not... but some of the staff are still forces to be reckoned with, and Dr. Sauvage will prove a problem now and again.

Reviewer: Maria Esperanza Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/21/19 07:54 am Title: Chapter Fourteen: Nomine

Let the heavens tremble.

Author's Response: Let all heaven tremble / and hellfire fear / dark sisters assemble / a great witch is here

Reviewer: Elron Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/21/19 03:50 am Title: Chapter One: Victorious

Natalie is pretty good at spells of illusion, like making it look as though her punishment book was on the shelf. Perhaps she could cast a spell to make others think her finger was still aged after she fixes it. Just a thought. I wonder what Headmistress will say when she sees that finger. Of course, Natalie still has to find her way back, naked, in the dark. No small task.

Thanks for the explanation, most of my magical knowledge comes from watching 'Bewitched' and 'Charmed'.

Author's Response: Natalie is, indeed, good at illusion - that'll come up later. Maybe with her finger, and maybe not. As for your magical knowledge - since, so far as I know, it's all made up, a deep knowledge of magic might not help so much here. I had a vague idea for how magic would work and am pretty much winging it as I go!

Reviewer: Owlnighttime Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/20/19 08:29 pm Title: Chapter One: Victorious

Wow! Well then! Great build up. Sounds like Nat is stuck as a girl then, as the headmistress doesn’t seem to be changing that, nor does it really seem like Nat has changing back to a man high up on her priorities. But damn, Nat got even the headmistress to kiss her. It doesn’t seem like anyone else will be joining her fuck buddy list other than Cass and the other dude, but it certainly would be entertaining if that did happen. Really enjoy the story! Nat really has gotten badass. Also it would be interesting if Vince ended up being a villian in the sequel but definitely wouldn’t want to force it.

Author's Response: Natalie isn't necessarily stuck as a girl at this point, though she's getting *close* to that point. More on that in Chapter 14! And Natalie *will* be getting an addition to the fuckbuddy list, though it won't come up until a lot later. I've already outlined the sequel, and Vince will be a... well, it's complicated. I hope you'll keep reading!

Reviewer: Elron Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/20/19 02:32 pm Title: Chapter Thirteen: Witches

Oh boy. First the good. I'm glad Natalie hooked up with Magnus. They seem to be 'made' for each other. And she needs all the friends (and bodyguards) she can get right now.

Now the bad. I want to tear the advanced bigs apart with my bare hands. What they did to Natalie is inexcusable. And to leave her with a 90 year old finger is ridiculous. She needs all her parts intact for gymnastics. And to choke Tiffany. I hope her powers increase exponentially so she can destroy the bigs and take down the school itself.

Ok, I'm calmed down a bit. So everything I've ever read or heard about magic spells is that one witch cannot undo another witch's spell. Is that true here as well? Or can Nat's finger be restored? Those bitches!

Also, shouldn't the sisterhood be able to recognize Natalie as one of them? An aura, magic aroma, secret handshake? Although, if that's what the members are like, I don't think I'd want to be a member.

Excellent writing, I'm on the edge of my seat waiting for more.

Author's Response: For the rules of magic that I'm working with here, what can be done with magic can be undone with magic. However, sometimes it's much easier (or harder) to undo a magical effect than it is to do it, so there's not a perfect symmetry. One of the things that influences how easy it is to cause a magical effect is the flow of magic: if you have a subject's true name, if you have a pact with the subject, if the subject is willing, if you have multiple enchanters, or if you are in a magic-concentrating area (such as a ritual circle), all of these things make magic easier to do. So, since the Advanced witches figured out Natalie's True Name (or at least her *body's* true name), the only thing really working against them was that Natalie was unwilling. It should be pretty easy for Natalie to figure out how to reverse the effect... though the Bigs might get angry again if they see that she's done so. More to come!

Reviewer: Lailaluvs00 Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/20/19 03:21 am Title: Chapter Thirteen: Witches

Wow, another great chapter! Dem Bitches Betta suffer for dis!

Author's Response: They're going to get their due!

Reviewer: AlexaTiresias Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/20/19 02:39 am Title: Chapter Thirteen: Witches

Wow. We already knew that the advanced Bigs were terrible people, but this takes it to a whole ‘nother level. I suspect, however, that they just made a terrible mistake. Before, Natalie might have resented and hated them, but I doubt they were particularly high on her shit list compared to Rowan, but now they made it personal. Also, this is just an educated guess, but maybe Lily is not what she seems. I suspect that Lily is far older than she appears; in fact, I wonder if Lily is in fact Lilith, who was sometimes listed listed as a demon, but also sometimes listed as a witch...

Author's Response: Yup. They're up near the top of Natalie's s*** list, and they have no clue who they just f***** with. As for Lily... she's definitely way older than she appears, though I haven't thought about her being *the* Lilith. Though that definitely inspired her name - good catch! Lilith, if she exists in this world, would probably be a cosmic demigoddess more similar to Mistress Starlight.

Reviewer: rudoliastaehel Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/20/19 01:41 am Title: Chapter Thirteen: Witches

Wow, thats really harsh. When somebody mentioned that bit about students not using magic against others, I thought it was something about the rules of the coven but it wasnt... thought those does tell you to dominate in kindness... what could happen to those that do not? Maybe a change in roles is in order!
Also, I hope she can reverse that... I kinda not like tattoos, so the whole wrinkled finged is kinda like another defect in her for me... kinda stupid of me to focus on that but oh well!

Author's Response: Students aren't supposed to use magic against one another, but it isn't really that enforced among Bigs vs. littles since the Bigs get preferential treatment. If you don't dominate in kindness? Then you're up s*** creek when the people you've dominated cruelly come to f*** your day up. And that day's coming soon.

Reviewer: Lilchelly Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/19/19 08:53 pm Title: Chapter One: Victorious

I want to say that... I normally do not enjoy this kind of thing. I cant handle sexual assault well at all. It's your writing that keeps pulling me back. A well written story no matter how horrible the source content always has a pull to me that I cant really explain. Thank you for this story... and I am sorry you must tell it come with all the horrible evil things that happen. I still am fuming for what they did to Helena... I know it's common on here to turn guys into straight girls or vice versa. But just... turning a butch lesbian into a girly girl het just feels so much worse. It's like taking a marginalized person and kicking them into ground and burying them in brimstone and hellfire. Butch lesbians have it hard enough, doing something like this to them... is unforgiveable

I sincerely hope something is done to the parents of these places too. Something to make it as a warning for any other parent trying to change their child in this way

Author's Response: One of the things that writers strive for is to evoke a reaction from readers - so I guess I'm succeeding along at least that basis. I'm glad my writing has pull, and I'm sorry that some of the things that happen make you feel terrible. For what it's worth, Helena is going to get most of what she wants. Ultimately, her well-being is completely at odds with what her parents want, and in a just universe (which neither our universe nor this universe is), that would always take precedence. Luckily, Helena makes a good choice in who to befriend at St. Circe's. We probably won't ever get to find out whether her parents ever get their comeuppance (since she's a relatively minor character), but I have to think that a resourceful young woman like her will come up with a way to make them pay.

Reviewer: Lilchelly Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/19/19 08:04 pm Title: Chapter Thirteen: Witches

I apologize for last night, I was a little... sleep deprived. But I still think all the staff of both schools should be shoved into a meatgrinder. I mean they pretend they have "rules" but they don't even follow them. Same with their bigs who supposedly understand these rules. They willingly let their littles get raped or god knows what else so they are not innocent. The bigs need to have an arm or two cut off to teach them a lesson in humility. Maybe just a finger or two, removed by metal clamp. If they assists in the raping, then into the bonfire they go. If they are the rapist then into a woodchipper

Author's Response: I'm sorry to say, but I think this is the first story I've ever written where absolutely nobody dies. But revenge comes in other ways in this story... and I'm writing the sequel right now and *spoilers* it's got lots of revenge. One of the bads gets psychically absorbed and then unknowingly tortured by their own relative (pretty horrible) and another gets turned into an earthworm. Another is turned into an inanimate pile of rags (oops). So... no limb removal, I'm afraid. But it's not going to be all sunshine and daisies for the bad guys forever.

Reviewer: Amanda Lynn Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/19/19 06:16 pm Title: Chapter One: Victorious

She needs to talk to Lily.
I hope her magic explodes on all of them, I think she was powerful when she was a he but didn't know it but when changed to a she she started blowing up. She will be the most powerful witch.

Author's Response: Oh yeah. Magic gon' blow up. And *spoilers* somebody may or may not get turned into a gorilla (hint: not Natalie).

Reviewer: Lilchelly Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/19/19 09:57 am Title: Chapter Eleven: Long Game

Every single one of them deserve to die for what they did to Helena

Reviewer: Maria Esperanza Signed Report
Date: 11/19/19 05:37 am Title: Chapter Thirteen: Witches

Well I'd love if it they were destroyed, personally. Not even horribly, just dead.

Reviewer: Roadbandit Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/19/19 04:56 am Title: Chapter Thirteen: Witches

Wow awesome chapter, but I thought she was protected?

Author's Response: Sort of. With the way magic works here, Natalie is protected against magics that change her real body, but transformation magic is not a real change. It's temporary, but it can be very stable if done right. For instance, with as much magic as there is at St. Circe's, if somebody turned Natalie into a dog (or a very old woman), then the change would be unstable and she'd revert back after a few days. But she doesn't understand enough about magic yet to know that. And in an area with very low magic, a transformation like that could last months or years, though any half-decent witch can change herself right back.

Reviewer: Nightrave Signed Report
Date: 11/19/19 04:42 am Title: Chapter Thirteen: Witches

So i want to start off with i love this work! its fantastic! How the magic works and how things are going has me checking the site over and over for updates! This last chapter though hurt me in ways that are hard to explain. There is just so much horrible injustice in the story, and when things were looking like they were making a turn around, Like things could go better it gets smacked down even harder! it made it so hard for me to finish reading the whole of this chapter rather then skim or...just stop ;_; I reaaaaally hope some good starts happening ;_;

Author's Response: I'm glad you like it! Let's just say there are lots of ups and lots of downs. I'm trying to keep things tense without going super duper dark. But, for what it's worth, Natalie will get some pretty sweet revenge against the Advanced Bigs.

Reviewer: JohnSmith13 Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/17/19 08:00 pm Title: Chapter Twelve: Advanced

I wonder, if they can change the age of people, then they could have eternal youth; It is possible that rejuvenation is something difficult for a single witch to do. Director Lily, you have a secret plan; perhaps it is a way of violating the oath of the brotherhood of witches; allowing someone else to break the rules (legal vacuum)

Author's Response: In this story's world, some witches just live for a very long time because body rejuveniation is difficult, but powerful ones (including Lily) can basically make themselves whatever age they want. They aren't immortal because they need to use magic or else they'd age normally (and they can die through other means), but for as long as they can do magic to affect their own bodies, they can stay as young as they want. And Lily definitely has a secret plan!

Reviewer: AlexaTiresias Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/17/19 04:37 am Title: Chapter Twelve: Advanced

Honestly, removing her ability to feel fear is probably worse for someone in her situation than hightened fear; fear makes you cautious, where lack of fear makes it difficult to blend in or manipulate people. It’s sort of similar to the people who are born without the ability to feel pain; they end up burning themselves on hot stoves, or something similar, because pain is what tells us to jerk our hand away. Fear is one of the main things that keeps us from doing stupid things, and removing that fear will probably not turn out well for Natalie.

Author's Response: You're right about that - some of the poor decisions that Natalie makes are essentially because she's not afraid enough - it makes her brave, but sometimes recklessly so. But that's part of why she's so much fun to write! Fortunately, she won't get very far along those lines - definitely not immune to fear or anything like that. But if things had turned out differently (from how they're going to), it might have been a very bad move on Natalie's part.

Reviewer: rudoliastaehel Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/17/19 12:46 am Title: Chapter Twelve: Advanced

Been really busy... lets hope I remember everything I wanted to say!

How cocky of her to just use magic like that... before only her roommate knew she was one of them, now its safe to say the others advanced are going to as well (well, unless nobody believes poor rugbier, that is).
I really liked the resolution of the rape case issue. Consent is occasionally a very complex thing, even without magic going on, so I think the situation is pretty relatable. Besides, no reason to further involve the Bryces or other third parties - no need to make them even more important. They are bad guys, we get it.
Really, REALLY impressed by the magic system you have created - it feels really sci-if, right? No talking hats or whatever. Not often do I have to pause and use google to understand what a sexy story is trying to tell - excellent job! With that said, I wonder if we will ever get to meet lady Starlight? I mean, shes some kind of an ethereal power being, but the lore (particularly about the rules of the coven) is pretty interesting... so better get it from the source maybe?
Other than that I wonder if magic club is still missing a spot... I know this story is a few chapters ahead elsewhere, but since Natalie has such a strong 'transforming' effect on others, then perhaps one of the littles might have felt the spark? On that note, I wonder what has been of the shy boy at the party... if he had to be exposed by a side of Natalie, then he got exposed to her very best. I wonder if we will see him again?

Author's Response: It was definitely cocky of Natalie to use magic like that - pretty unwise, really, but she's impulsive at times. Unfortunately, we're soon going to see some tricks that the Advanced girls have up their sleeve. I don't think we meet Lady Starlight at any point in this story... though we do in the sequel that I'm drafting right now! Does one of the other littles have a spark? And what about the shy boy? We'll definitely find out! In fact, they'll be pretty major elements.

Reviewer: Elron Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/16/19 09:25 pm Title: Chapter Twelve: Advanced

Wow, Natalie is really kicking ass. And, it seems, with Lilly's blessing. I think Lilly is grooming Natalie to become a very powerful witch, mentally, magically, and physically. I think the Bryces are really gonna rue the day they crossed Martin. And I think Marie might be starting to rue the day she met Natalie.

By the way, Martin had a cousin named Vincent who was his lawyer in the rape trial. Reminds me of a movie with the same name. Coincidence?

Author's Response: Marie may rue the day pretty soon... Natalie is going to have to work her way to revenge against the Bryces. But she's definitely not going to let their mistreatment of her slide! And good catch about Vincent - no coincidence! I thought it would be a funny little reference.

Reviewer: Sthelen Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/16/19 07:07 pm Title: Chapter Twelve: Advanced

Oh welp, have to save face in public. Really nice chapter, although I'm confused.
At the beginning of the chapter Natalie is wondering when to switch back the pages of the plan in Lily's office, then later she asks the gymnastics' teacher for punishment, Lily does the punishment with Natalie's changes.... but she hasn't switched the book back and I suppose Lily wouldn't know unless she read the book. And it is after the breakfast incident that Natalie does put it back. I don't understand, shouldn't she have placed the plans back before the gymnastics punishment? How would Lily know otherwise? Doesn't make sense in my head after all we've read about having to always read the book before applying the magic of the punishment. Either there's something wrong or I'm missing something I haven't realised yet.

Author's Response: I understand the confusion, and maybe it's just me not describing/explaining things well in the story. Basically, whenever a new part of the plan is enacted, the teachers need to look up what the directions are and do a little ritual to make sure things are switched to the new part of the plan. But it's optional whenever you're doing the same changes that have already been done at least once before. Basically, Natalie's new plan was effective the moment she sealed the pact (with herself) and took precedent over the plan from before. Now... when the punishment didn't work as Lily expected, she absolutely should have checked the book to see what went wrong. But she didn't because she's covering for Natalie. Why? Maybe we'll find out!

Reviewer: Nichola Sperry Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/16/19 05:08 pm Title: Chapter Twelve: Advanced

Ch 12. The tension is building and physically promotes an anxiety response in me. The apprehension for future events is building... again. The ideas amd style make it a compelling read for me.

Author's Response: I'm glad to hear you find it compelling! Things are going to ratchet up through chapter 16, cool down a bit, and then gear up for the finale!

Reviewer: ZZChromosome Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/16/19 04:48 pm Title: Chapter Twelve: Advanced

"I have come to suspect that there's a deep isomorphy between math and magic, just as there is between math and physics... and probably between physics and magic, thus completing the trifecta."

Your writing is so erudite, I want to hug you.

Author's Response: I'm glad you appreciated it! I liked that bit, too. For most of her life, Natalie was a 'bro', but she was an unusually smart one and is for sure a nerd at heart.

Reviewer: Roadbandit Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/16/19 11:14 am Title: Chapter Twelve: Advanced

Awesome chapter . But I thought she wouldn’t be going to the Bryces. A very enjoyable read

Author's Response: I'm glad you liked it - Natalie can't easily break the contract that will have her going to the Bryces, but she'll try to avoid it and, if she can't, will give herself a fighting chance!

Reviewer: Grover Signed Report
Date: 11/15/19 07:09 pm Title: Chapter Eleven: Long Game

Your chapters are so packed with stuff, that commenting can be tough sometimes! So she hasn't been caught for interring with the Beginning Little's plans, but her influence with them has been noticed. I'm wondering at what effect her going to the advanced class is going cause. That's besides wondering when the other shoe is going to drop. Bryce is sure to poke his nose in again!
So very interesting!

Author's Response: Lily has a pretty good idea of what's going on, but most of the other staff doesn't... but why Lily is helping and whether she has an ulterior motive is something that Natalie should worry about, because eventually the shoe will drop... but it might not be the one she's expecting. The next chapter is posting soon!

Reviewer: Amanda Lynn Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/15/19 05:49 pm Title: Chapter One: Victorious

Fan damn tastic story. I love it.
Keep it going, please.

Author's Response: I'm glad you like it! More coming soon!

Reviewer: Sthelen Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/15/19 12:33 pm Title: Chapter Eleven: Long Game

Wooo, that was risky. She managed to switch the plans even though she was caught.
Lily is being very helpful indeed. I wonder how much Natalie will be able to disrupt the Advanced classes.
Love the chapter. Always a blast to read.

Author's Response: I'm glad you like it - Natalie is all about brave but ill-advised gambits. It makes her a lot of fun to write, but also prone to misadventure. As for the Advanced girls... it turns out they have some tricks of their own...

Reviewer: Elron Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/15/19 04:29 am Title: Chapter Eleven: Long Game

So Natalie is putting her talents to good use, and it is paying off for her in the coven.
With Natalie's new position will she no longer be bound by her book of punishment?
Seems like she is a little too 'mature', and a member of the 'staff' to be subject to paddling.
At any rate Natalie seems to be finally climbing out of the hole that Bryce put her in. Can't wait to see what's next for her, especially with all the magic around her.

Author's Response: Natalie is still bound to her book for as long as the blood pact is good... which may not be too much longer, but at the moment it is. Natalie is, indeed, building herself and her allies up to be able to have a shot against the Bryces (the bad ones)... but will it be enough to succeed?

Reviewer: AlexaTiresias Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/15/19 04:00 am Title: Chapter One: Victorious

I have a question: since magic in this setting has a vaguely pseudo-Wiccan flavor (covens, rhyming chants invoking the power of some sort of goddess, etc.), I am curious if the threefold law (i.e. magic used with Ill-intent will return upon the caster threefold) exists in this universe?

Author's Response: That's a good question. I didn't intend to have the threefold law as a thing, per se. But something akin to it exists. Basically, if you make a magical pact with somebody and then you break the pact, the you get as much power over them as the power invested into the pact. That is, if you both contribute equally to the pact (e.g. 'vitality' for a blood pact) and then they break it, then all of that energy is yours to compel them to do something of greater value.

Reviewer: Elron Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/11/19 09:49 pm Title: Chapter Ten: Initiate

Wow, there is a lot going on in each chapter. Figures Natalie would be making the rules work for her, right out of the gate as an Initiate. I like, though, that her intentions are good. She isn't trying to get rich. She helped Emi and Michelle. She is going to straighten out that twisted girl's school, and the guy's school, in good time. Yes, her quest for revenge seems evil. But in the balance of good and evil worldwide, taking down her stepfather and stepbrother could only be good for mankind.

You have such imaginative and creative writing. Thank you for sharing it with us.

Author's Response: I'm glad you like the writing - I had a blast writing this story and I'm so happy to see it's being well-received. Obviously, there are a lot of very dark parts in this story, but I've tried to put a little bit of everything into the mix. Just about the only thing it hasn't got is gory violence... some of my stories have that (e.g. Scions), but this one does not. I hope you'll keep reading!

Reviewer: JohnSmith13 Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/11/19 02:55 pm Title: Chapter One: Victorious

I like this story. I cannot leave many comments, because my work does not allow it. (Lack of time)
I wonder: what is the origin of “St. Circe. "
Amanda Bryce, was turned into an 11-year-old girl, as punishment for having sex with a man. Rowan Bryce wants Amanda to be a perfect and adorable daughter.
----
I wonder what father would pay a lot of money to turn his daughter into a little girl and be bullied. Possibly, some parents believe that their daughters are very rebellious or caused public scandals (lost cases) and were punished as Littles; other dominant parents want their daughters to be adorable and tender forever, but they also don't want them to be bullied (perfect daughters). But in spite of these 2 circumstances they would not be enough, to constitute half of the students; That's why I assume other origins for some students:
To steal an inheritance; is the case of Emi
Some Littles were employed (maids, secretaries, executives and other workers) that provoked the wrath of a rich family
Other Littes are only people who provoked the wrath of rich families; I remember a story in which a married teacher punishes a rich student (despite the warnings of his colleagues), then he is a teacher and his wife is kidnapped, the teacher's wife is turned into a maid and the teacher is turned into the Rich student's girlfriend.
I also believe that many Littles are being trained to become wives, on the whim of a rich teenager.
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All people have a different magical potential. Some have high potential (prodigies), others have an intermediate level, and many only have a low level (these people can only use magic through enchanted items) (but these enchanted items are expensive and can only be manufactured by those of very high potential), but these low-level Bigs students learn magic, just like the other Bigs, but upon graduation they learn to respect school. And to high potential graduates.
I always thought that a Little with high magic potential would be a danger to the school and its students.

Reviewer: Roadbandit Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/10/19 05:30 pm Title: Chapter Ten: Initiate

This storyline is becoming more interesting and becoming a favorite of mine, I can’t wait to see what happens next. Well done

Author's Response: I'm glad to hear it! I hope you'll keep reading!

Reviewer: Lilchelly Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/10/19 05:55 am Title: Chapter Ten: Initiate

I cant wait till Dr. Sauvage gets what's coming to her. She already broke the 2nd rule. I hope Mistress Starlight rips her soul apart or something equally horrific. It's the least she deserves.

Author's Response: Sauvage *does* deserve very bad things... unfortunately, she's also a highly-ranked member of the coven that Natalie has just joined. She'll have to get her revenge subtly and slowly... but I promise she'll get at least a little revenge before too long - though definitely not enough to balance the equation.

Reviewer: AlexaTiresias Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/10/19 01:01 am Title: Chapter Ten: Initiate

Wow, Natalie sure is good at this sort of manipulation and planning. Rowan won’t know what hit him.

Author's Response: Yeah, I'd argue that Natalie is actually much more dangerous this way because, looking like she does and being a little, many people don't take her seriously and underestimate her growing skillset. And it's a skill set that makes her very good at infiltrating organizations and bending their rules to her benefit. Thanks for reading!

Reviewer: Sthelen Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/09/19 11:44 pm Title: Chapter Ten: Initiate

Who would have thought, now they have to get in trouble instead of avoiding it. Ah, the irony of the punishment.
Also very glad about Emi, at least she can think.

Author's Response: Yup! They're flipping the school's method of punishment on its head to get what they want instead of what St. Circe's wants - pretty tricky, sis! And, fortunately for Emi, the potion's effects can't last forever and her brain is safe.

Reviewer: Grover Signed Report
Date: 11/09/19 12:11 pm Title: Chapter Nine: Heist

I'm a bit late, but real life don't you know! That explanation of what really happened to Amanda and Martin that night makes sense. Magic it seems truly complicates things. Neither one intended what happened.
However, Natalie has her back to the wall here. The choice was really no choice at all. Rowan is a piece of work and has much as promised that she would be abused and tortured. He really won't like how the contract has been amended. :)!
I'm looking forward to more!

Author's Response: Thanks for reading! I know all about real life getting in the way - trying to balance writing on top of a job and a social life is pretty tricky, too. Yeah, magic can really throw a wrench in the works, but now it's Natalie's wrench to wield, and she's going to make sure she's in a position to get Rowan and the baddies. Thanks for reading!

Reviewer: Sthelen Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/07/19 05:53 pm Title: Chapter Nine: Heist

This is getting more and more interesting.
I really hope Natalie can revert most of the little girls' curses. Have been feeling sad for Emi since knowing they make her stupid over time. Now I'm glad to know it's only temporary and I have high hopes they can revert or dispel it.
P.S.: Natalie as the next headmistress

Author's Response: I don't know if Natalie will be the *next* headmistress, but she might get there eventually. As for what happens with Emi... I've just submitted a chapter that deals with that. Thanks for reading!

Reviewer: Sthelen Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/07/19 05:45 pm Title: Chapter Eight: Accusers

That's right, Natalie. Revenge is a dish best served cold.

Author's Response: This is a really 'slow burn' revenge-wise, but I think it's best that way. This is meant to be the first part in a two-part story where this part is the setup and the next part is the big time revenge... but there will be some decent doses of comeuppance here, as well.

Reviewer: Sthelen Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/07/19 05:41 pm Title: Chapter Seven: Formal

Yes! Natalie kicking some! Protect the girls! Lovely chapter.
By the way, you wrote "ma amie" but it's "mon amie".
You use "mon" for masculine nouns and before a word that begins with a vowel, and "ma" for feminine nouns.

Author's Response: Thanks for the correction on my French - it's been a while since I took it. Although, I suppose, maybe Natalie is as crappy at French as I am. Poor French aside, I hope you'll keep reading!

Reviewer: Sthelen Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/07/19 01:08 pm Title: Chapter Six: Little Miss Obstinate

I love this story, it's awesome. Just binge read up to this chapter so far and I really want to keep reading.
By the way, small note, at the end of the chapter, the last two lines, we have this exchange:

I reached around as far as I could and patted her somewhere on her back just past her side. "Friends?" I said.
Natalie laughed through her tears. "Friends."

I'm guessing the reply comes from Cassie, otherwise Natalie would both ask and reply, and it feels weird.

Author's Response: Thanks for reading and thanks for catching my mistake - you're absolutely correct! That should be Cassie laughing through her tears. I've just submitted the next chapter!

Reviewer: Lailaluvs00 Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/07/19 11:55 am Title: Chapter Nine: Heist

Yay, finally her real training can begin!

Author's Response: Yep! St. Circe's won't know what hit it!

Reviewer: AlexaTiresias Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/07/19 04:01 am Title: Chapter Nine: Heist

Making magical contracts or bargains is like dealing with the fair-folk; you should never go into it lightly or in anger, the price will always be higher than what you thought when you made the deal, and most importantly, choosing your words carefully is vital. Methinks Rowan is going to get a rather painful lesson in why that last one is important in the future.

Author's Response: Methinks you are correct. While Natalie is still a newcomer to the world of witchcraft, she's clever, resourceful and motivated to get revenge. Thanks for reading!

Reviewer: evenrude Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/07/19 03:37 am Title: Chapter One: Victorious

I must admit that I’m usually not a big fan iof stories involving magic and/or sorcery. I have to say that this one initially turned me off but I kept reading and it just started to get better and better. So much so that I decided to reread the early chapters so that I could refresh myself on the whole story, which I originally read rather quickly trying to get the gist of the story but not finding much to hold my interest. But the detail and complex relationships of the bigs and littles, and the fact that Cassie did a complete redu and became a big without losing her friendship with her roommate even as her roommate seemed to fall from grace with everything she did.

This is a product of a very imaginative mind and a very good writer.

Keep it going and I hope there are some more plot twists and turns left before the climax chapter.

One of the better stories on this forum.

Reviewer: evenrude Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/07/19 03:37 am Title: Chapter One: Victorious

I must admit that I’m usually not a big fan iof stories involving magic and/or sorcery. I have to say that this one initially turned me off but I kept reading and it just started to get better and better. So much so that I decided to reread the early chapters so that I could refresh myself on the whole story, which I originally read rather quickly trying to get the gist of the story but not finding much to hold my interest. But the detail and complex relationships of the bigs and littles, and the fact that Cassie did a complete redu and became a big without losing her friendship with her roommate even as her roommate seemed to fall from grace with everything she did.

This is a product of a very imaginative mind and a very good writer.

Keep it going and I hope there are some more plot twists and turns left before the climax chapter.

One of the better stories on this forum.

Author's Response: Thanks so much! Coming from somebody who's usually out-of-genre, that's a huge complement! There are going to be lots of plot twists to come, as I've got 21 chapters in all. I hope you'll keep reading!

Reviewer: evenrude Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/07/19 03:37 am Title: Chapter One: Victorious

I must admit that I’m usually not a big fan iof stories involving magic and/or sorcery. I have to say that this one initially turned me off but I kept reading and it just started to get better and better. So much so that I decided to reread the early chapters so that I could refresh myself on the whole story, which I originally read rather quickly trying to get the gist of the story but not finding much to hold my interest. But the detail and complex relationships of the bigs and littles, and the fact that Cassie did a complete redu and became a big without losing her friendship with her roommate even as her roommate seemed to fall from grace with everything she did.

This is a product of a very imaginative mind and a very good writer.

Keep it going and I hope there are some more plot twists and turns left before the climax chapter.

One of the better stories on this forum.

Reviewer: Elron Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/07/19 12:58 am Title: Chapter One: Victorious

You hope? You couldn't drag me away from Natalie with a team of magical horses!

Author's Response: :D They're unicorns!

Reviewer: rudoliastaehel Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/07/19 12:09 am Title: Chapter Nine: Heist

Um um, question, question!!! Can only witches do potions? If so, how did Cassie know the recipe would work when Natalie used it? Or maybe she wasnt expecting her to brew it, if so, why use code?
Sorry to be 'that' guy! Nice chapter.

Author's Response: The code is Cassie's way of getting around a witch rule - witches aren't allowed to reveal their ways to outsiders. But, by writing in code like this, she can make a boring recipe, plus a puzzle that somebody else (Natalie) can solve to reveal the potion. Basically, it's her way of telling Natalie something that she's not allowed to tell. In order to brew a potion, you have to be able to call upon some higher power to grant the potion power (in this case, 'Mistress Starlight') who may or may not imbue the potion with power. I imagine a powerful witch could brew a potion with her own magical power and a lot of gumption, and any witch in a coven can call upon her coven's patron (Mistress Starlight, in the case of the Sisterhood of the Starry Night), who will almost always bless the potion. Starlight might have chosen not to bless Natalie's potion, but she did for reasons that are her own - perhaps because Natalie's intentions were pure.

Reviewer: storylovinggamer Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/06/19 11:03 pm Title: Chapter Nine: Heist

Interesting to see what punishment is fleshes out on Sunday... I agree with the others here that Natalie really needs to get justice for the whole school. Way too many innocent girls there being punished or altered against their will.

Author's Response: While I can't promise that Natalie will get a justice that sits well with everybody, at the very least she's going to raise hell and force the school to change some things. She may even have a plan to turn the whole system on its head... I guess we'll find out!

Reviewer: Lilchelly Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/06/19 10:59 pm Title: Chapter Nine: Heist

"Our code"

ROFG as if you have one. Nah you're all human filth and I hope every last one of you burns in hell. Especially 'Dr' Sauvage

Author's Response: Some of them are more horrible than others - at the very least, Lily *thinks* she has a code, even if it's one that many would find highly objectionable. Dr. Sauvage, though, may be too self-righteous to see that St. Circe's old and horrible traditions have caused her to do horrible things to the girls under her supervision.

Reviewer: Elron Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/06/19 10:31 pm Title: Chapter Nine: Heist

So now that Natalie knows that Amanda is at the school, and has been changed for the worse, and that Martin does in fact bear some responsibility for Amanda's current situation. Will Natalie start to look after Amanda, take her under her wing? Natalie has been shown to stick her neck out for an altruistic cause. It would be nice for her to become a 'big sister' to Amanda.

Author's Response: We'll definitely have more of Amanda again, though not for at least a couple of chapters. I don't want to spoil too much, but she's not going to be a major character but might have enough of a role to build off of the sisterly relationship, should I get around to a sequel.

Reviewer: Elron Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/06/19 10:20 pm Title: Chapter Nine: Heist

I think Natalie did the right thing - again. First, she prevented rapes at the dance. Then she nullified the dumb-down potion they were giving Emi.

Now the headmistress believes that Nat didn't rape Amanda - at least not intentionally. Nat just has a knack for persuasion. Too bad it didn't work on Rowan Bryce and his son on Family Day.

So now Natalie has joined the coven. That should ultimately help her in her quest for justice. Not just for her, but for all the girls that are suffering heinous punishments at the whim of the rich and powerful. I can't wait to see what happens when she learns to control and channel that magical power.

This has turned into a very deep and intense story. I think you are doing a masterful job of writing. Thank you.

Author's Response: Thanks for your input! I'm trying to portray Natalie as somebody who, if she thinks she's in the right, she'll get more and more determined to do it the more you try to stop her. Coupled with the fact that she's apparently pretty magically gifted, that makes her a bad person to have pissed off at you. Not that I'd want Rowan Bryce to be pissed off at me either, because we've seen how that works out, but he's an a******, and hopefully he'll get what's coming to him. I hope you'll keep reading!

Reviewer: ZZChromosome Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/06/19 08:07 pm Title: Chapter Nine: Heist

Just finished Chapter Nine and I'm really enjoying this story so far.

Regarding the Magical Contract - I didn't want to say anything earlier because I didn't want to steal your thunder (it's your story to tell, not mine). However, I think now is the time to speak up. A misrepresentation of material fact that would have affected the other party's willingness to enter into the contract, makes the contract NULL and VOID. In that light, I think St. Circe's School can now walk away from Natalie's magical contract at any time it chooses to do so. In the meantime, it can enforce the contract selectively, as you have hinted at in previous posts.

Regarding Amanda's False Accusation - Almost exactly as I had suspected. In a way, Nathan actually did rape Amanda by unknowingly using his innate (and unsuspected) mind-control powers. So when Amanda cried "Rape!" she was actually believing that she had been maliciously seduced with mind-control.

But that wasn't what I had been thinking before. Before, I thought that Amanda had been under some sort of magical compulsion not to have sex (placed on her by her father) and that Nathan had simply broken the compulsion with his innate powers. But in the morning, the long-standing previous compulsion took over. That's why Amanda was so confused in court when it was proven that she had consensual sex - because the magical compulsion placed by her father forced her to recall it as a rape. Which it wasn't, because she was magically-compelled to recall it as such.

And, really darkly, not sure if you wanted to go there, but I figured that her father's motivation for placing the magical compulsion on her was because he considered her to be his "sexual property." Ew, gross, icky. Yeah, that's him. We now know he likes 'em young and is teaching his son to like 'em young, as well. Now he's made Amanda young again,,, because he likes younger. I'm so looking forward to his downfall at this point. What a sick family. Only question mark is the mom who looks exactly like the daughter. Creepiness factor over 9,000 at this point.

Author's Response: Regarding Martin's incident with Amanda, I purposefully made it morally ambiguous. While he had no reason to think he was doing wrong, he did traumatize a young woman and failed to meet the goal of "enthusiastic, informed consent" since Amanda was under some level of control. Basically, Martin/Natalie can talk people into just about anything if they have some inclination to follow. So, basically, if she asked you to come to her room and your first thought was "no!", then you wouldn't do it... but if your first thought was "should I?", then she can talk you into it, sometimes even if you're a pretty powerful witch. She still occasionally does it at St. Circe's, which is why she's able to pretty consistently get the littles to veer off of behavior plans that they've been following for months. Now... in retrospect, your idea about Rowan Bryce placing a "good girl" compulsion on Amanda is actually a really good idea, and I kind of wish I'd taken that route. I may actually add that in there if I ever revise the story because it tracks nicely with a lot of other things (at the expense of making what happened to Amanda less morally ambiguous for Martin). As for what Rowan Bryce views as his sexual property... he views pretty much anybody who isn't a witch/warlock as his property, sexual or otherwise. I haven't stated it explicitly, but I've thought of his wife as a witch, but one of significantly less power and status than Rowan, so he occasionally humors her but still thinks of her as his inferior.

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