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Reviewer: Lailaluvs00 Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/20/19 03:21 am Title: Chapter Thirteen: Witches

Wow, another great chapter! Dem Bitches Betta suffer for dis!

Reviewer: AlexaTiresias Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/20/19 02:39 am Title: Chapter Thirteen: Witches

Wow. We already knew that the advanced Bigs were terrible people, but this takes it to a whole ‘nother level. I suspect, however, that they just made a terrible mistake. Before, Natalie might have resented and hated them, but I doubt they were particularly high on her shit list compared to Rowan, but now they made it personal. Also, this is just an educated guess, but maybe Lily is not what she seems. I suspect that Lily is far older than she appears; in fact, I wonder if Lily is in fact Lilith, who was sometimes listed listed as a demon, but also sometimes listed as a witch...

Reviewer: rudoliastaehel Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/20/19 01:41 am Title: Chapter Thirteen: Witches

Wow, thats really harsh. When somebody mentioned that bit about students not using magic against others, I thought it was something about the rules of the coven but it wasnt... thought those does tell you to dominate in kindness... what could happen to those that do not? Maybe a change in roles is in order!
Also, I hope she can reverse that... I kinda not like tattoos, so the whole wrinkled finged is kinda like another defect in her for me... kinda stupid of me to focus on that but oh well!

Reviewer: Lilchelly Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/19/19 08:53 pm Title: Chapter One: Victorious

I want to say that... I normally do not enjoy this kind of thing. I cant handle sexual assault well at all. It's your writing that keeps pulling me back. A well written story no matter how horrible the source content always has a pull to me that I cant really explain. Thank you for this story... and I am sorry you must tell it come with all the horrible evil things that happen. I still am fuming for what they did to Helena... I know it's common on here to turn guys into straight girls or vice versa. But just... turning a butch lesbian into a girly girl het just feels so much worse. It's like taking a marginalized person and kicking them into ground and burying them in brimstone and hellfire. Butch lesbians have it hard enough, doing something like this to them... is unforgiveable

I sincerely hope something is done to the parents of these places too. Something to make it as a warning for any other parent trying to change their child in this way

Reviewer: Lilchelly Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/19/19 08:04 pm Title: Chapter Thirteen: Witches

I apologize for last night, I was a little... sleep deprived. But I still think all the staff of both schools should be shoved into a meatgrinder. I mean they pretend they have "rules" but they don't even follow them. Same with their bigs who supposedly understand these rules. They willingly let their littles get raped or god knows what else so they are not innocent. The bigs need to have an arm or two cut off to teach them a lesson in humility. Maybe just a finger or two, removed by metal clamp. If they assists in the raping, then into the bonfire they go. If they are the rapist then into a woodchipper

Author's Response: I'm sorry to say, but I think this is the first story I've ever written where absolutely nobody dies. But revenge comes in other ways in this story... and I'm writing the sequel right now and *spoilers* it's got lots of revenge. One of the bads gets psychically absorbed and then unknowingly tortured by their own relative (pretty horrible) and another gets turned into an earthworm. Another is turned into an inanimate pile of rags (oops). So... no limb removal, I'm afraid. But it's not going to be all sunshine and daisies for the bad guys forever.

Reviewer: Amanda Lynn Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/19/19 06:16 pm Title: Chapter One: Victorious

She needs to talk to Lily.
I hope her magic explodes on all of them, I think she was powerful when she was a he but didn't know it but when changed to a she she started blowing up. She will be the most powerful witch.

Author's Response: Oh yeah. Magic gon' blow up. And *spoilers* somebody may or may not get turned into a gorilla (hint: not Natalie).

Reviewer: Lilchelly Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/19/19 09:57 am Title: Chapter Eleven: Long Game

Every single one of them deserve to die for what they did to Helena

Reviewer: Maria Esperanza Signed Report
Date: 11/19/19 05:37 am Title: Chapter Thirteen: Witches

Well I'd love if it they were destroyed, personally. Not even horribly, just dead.

Reviewer: Roadbandit Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/19/19 04:56 am Title: Chapter Thirteen: Witches

Wow awesome chapter, but I thought she was protected?

Author's Response: Sort of. With the way magic works here, Natalie is protected against magics that change her real body, but transformation magic is not a real change. It's temporary, but it can be very stable if done right. For instance, with as much magic as there is at St. Circe's, if somebody turned Natalie into a dog (or a very old woman), then the change would be unstable and she'd revert back after a few days. But she doesn't understand enough about magic yet to know that. And in an area with very low magic, a transformation like that could last months or years, though any half-decent witch can change herself right back.

Reviewer: Nightrave Signed Report
Date: 11/19/19 04:42 am Title: Chapter Thirteen: Witches

So i want to start off with i love this work! its fantastic! How the magic works and how things are going has me checking the site over and over for updates! This last chapter though hurt me in ways that are hard to explain. There is just so much horrible injustice in the story, and when things were looking like they were making a turn around, Like things could go better it gets smacked down even harder! it made it so hard for me to finish reading the whole of this chapter rather then skim or...just stop ;_; I reaaaaally hope some good starts happening ;_;

Author's Response: I'm glad you like it! Let's just say there are lots of ups and lots of downs. I'm trying to keep things tense without going super duper dark. But, for what it's worth, Natalie will get some pretty sweet revenge against the Advanced Bigs.

Reviewer: JohnSmith13 Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/17/19 08:00 pm Title: Chapter Twelve: Advanced

I wonder, if they can change the age of people, then they could have eternal youth; It is possible that rejuvenation is something difficult for a single witch to do. Director Lily, you have a secret plan; perhaps it is a way of violating the oath of the brotherhood of witches; allowing someone else to break the rules (legal vacuum)

Author's Response: In this story's world, some witches just live for a very long time because body rejuveniation is difficult, but powerful ones (including Lily) can basically make themselves whatever age they want. They aren't immortal because they need to use magic or else they'd age normally (and they can die through other means), but for as long as they can do magic to affect their own bodies, they can stay as young as they want. And Lily definitely has a secret plan!

Reviewer: AlexaTiresias Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/17/19 04:37 am Title: Chapter Twelve: Advanced

Honestly, removing her ability to feel fear is probably worse for someone in her situation than hightened fear; fear makes you cautious, where lack of fear makes it difficult to blend in or manipulate people. It’s sort of similar to the people who are born without the ability to feel pain; they end up burning themselves on hot stoves, or something similar, because pain is what tells us to jerk our hand away. Fear is one of the main things that keeps us from doing stupid things, and removing that fear will probably not turn out well for Natalie.

Author's Response: You're right about that - some of the poor decisions that Natalie makes are essentially because she's not afraid enough - it makes her brave, but sometimes recklessly so. But that's part of why she's so much fun to write! Fortunately, she won't get very far along those lines - definitely not immune to fear or anything like that. But if things had turned out differently (from how they're going to), it might have been a very bad move on Natalie's part.

Reviewer: rudoliastaehel Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/17/19 12:46 am Title: Chapter Twelve: Advanced

Been really busy... lets hope I remember everything I wanted to say!

How cocky of her to just use magic like that... before only her roommate knew she was one of them, now its safe to say the others advanced are going to as well (well, unless nobody believes poor rugbier, that is).
I really liked the resolution of the rape case issue. Consent is occasionally a very complex thing, even without magic going on, so I think the situation is pretty relatable. Besides, no reason to further involve the Bryces or other third parties - no need to make them even more important. They are bad guys, we get it.
Really, REALLY impressed by the magic system you have created - it feels really sci-if, right? No talking hats or whatever. Not often do I have to pause and use google to understand what a sexy story is trying to tell - excellent job! With that said, I wonder if we will ever get to meet lady Starlight? I mean, shes some kind of an ethereal power being, but the lore (particularly about the rules of the coven) is pretty interesting... so better get it from the source maybe?
Other than that I wonder if magic club is still missing a spot... I know this story is a few chapters ahead elsewhere, but since Natalie has such a strong 'transforming' effect on others, then perhaps one of the littles might have felt the spark? On that note, I wonder what has been of the shy boy at the party... if he had to be exposed by a side of Natalie, then he got exposed to her very best. I wonder if we will see him again?

Author's Response: It was definitely cocky of Natalie to use magic like that - pretty unwise, really, but she's impulsive at times. Unfortunately, we're soon going to see some tricks that the Advanced girls have up their sleeve. I don't think we meet Lady Starlight at any point in this story... though we do in the sequel that I'm drafting right now! Does one of the other littles have a spark? And what about the shy boy? We'll definitely find out! In fact, they'll be pretty major elements.

Reviewer: Elron Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/16/19 09:25 pm Title: Chapter Twelve: Advanced

Wow, Natalie is really kicking ass. And, it seems, with Lilly's blessing. I think Lilly is grooming Natalie to become a very powerful witch, mentally, magically, and physically. I think the Bryces are really gonna rue the day they crossed Martin. And I think Marie might be starting to rue the day she met Natalie.

By the way, Martin had a cousin named Vincent who was his lawyer in the rape trial. Reminds me of a movie with the same name. Coincidence?

Author's Response: Marie may rue the day pretty soon... Natalie is going to have to work her way to revenge against the Bryces. But she's definitely not going to let their mistreatment of her slide! And good catch about Vincent - no coincidence! I thought it would be a funny little reference.

Reviewer: Sthelen Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/16/19 07:07 pm Title: Chapter Twelve: Advanced

Oh welp, have to save face in public. Really nice chapter, although I'm confused.
At the beginning of the chapter Natalie is wondering when to switch back the pages of the plan in Lily's office, then later she asks the gymnastics' teacher for punishment, Lily does the punishment with Natalie's changes.... but she hasn't switched the book back and I suppose Lily wouldn't know unless she read the book. And it is after the breakfast incident that Natalie does put it back. I don't understand, shouldn't she have placed the plans back before the gymnastics punishment? How would Lily know otherwise? Doesn't make sense in my head after all we've read about having to always read the book before applying the magic of the punishment. Either there's something wrong or I'm missing something I haven't realised yet.

Author's Response: I understand the confusion, and maybe it's just me not describing/explaining things well in the story. Basically, whenever a new part of the plan is enacted, the teachers need to look up what the directions are and do a little ritual to make sure things are switched to the new part of the plan. But it's optional whenever you're doing the same changes that have already been done at least once before. Basically, Natalie's new plan was effective the moment she sealed the pact (with herself) and took precedent over the plan from before. Now... when the punishment didn't work as Lily expected, she absolutely should have checked the book to see what went wrong. But she didn't because she's covering for Natalie. Why? Maybe we'll find out!

Reviewer: Nichola Sperry Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/16/19 05:08 pm Title: Chapter Twelve: Advanced

Ch 12. The tension is building and physically promotes an anxiety response in me. The apprehension for future events is building... again. The ideas amd style make it a compelling read for me.

Author's Response: I'm glad to hear you find it compelling! Things are going to ratchet up through chapter 16, cool down a bit, and then gear up for the finale!

Reviewer: ZZChromosome Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/16/19 04:48 pm Title: Chapter Twelve: Advanced

"I have come to suspect that there's a deep isomorphy between math and magic, just as there is between math and physics... and probably between physics and magic, thus completing the trifecta."

Your writing is so erudite, I want to hug you.

Author's Response: I'm glad you appreciated it! I liked that bit, too. For most of her life, Natalie was a 'bro', but she was an unusually smart one and is for sure a nerd at heart.

Reviewer: Roadbandit Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/16/19 11:14 am Title: Chapter Twelve: Advanced

Awesome chapter . But I thought she wouldn’t be going to the Bryces. A very enjoyable read

Author's Response: I'm glad you liked it - Natalie can't easily break the contract that will have her going to the Bryces, but she'll try to avoid it and, if she can't, will give herself a fighting chance!

Reviewer: Grover Signed Report
Date: 11/15/19 07:09 pm Title: Chapter Eleven: Long Game

Your chapters are so packed with stuff, that commenting can be tough sometimes! So she hasn't been caught for interring with the Beginning Little's plans, but her influence with them has been noticed. I'm wondering at what effect her going to the advanced class is going cause. That's besides wondering when the other shoe is going to drop. Bryce is sure to poke his nose in again!
So very interesting!

Author's Response: Lily has a pretty good idea of what's going on, but most of the other staff doesn't... but why Lily is helping and whether she has an ulterior motive is something that Natalie should worry about, because eventually the shoe will drop... but it might not be the one she's expecting. The next chapter is posting soon!

Reviewer: Amanda Lynn Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/15/19 05:49 pm Title: Chapter One: Victorious

Fan damn tastic story. I love it.
Keep it going, please.

Author's Response: I'm glad you like it! More coming soon!

Reviewer: Sthelen Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/15/19 12:33 pm Title: Chapter Eleven: Long Game

Wooo, that was risky. She managed to switch the plans even though she was caught.
Lily is being very helpful indeed. I wonder how much Natalie will be able to disrupt the Advanced classes.
Love the chapter. Always a blast to read.

Author's Response: I'm glad you like it - Natalie is all about brave but ill-advised gambits. It makes her a lot of fun to write, but also prone to misadventure. As for the Advanced girls... it turns out they have some tricks of their own...

Reviewer: Elron Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/15/19 04:29 am Title: Chapter Eleven: Long Game

So Natalie is putting her talents to good use, and it is paying off for her in the coven.
With Natalie's new position will she no longer be bound by her book of punishment?
Seems like she is a little too 'mature', and a member of the 'staff' to be subject to paddling.
At any rate Natalie seems to be finally climbing out of the hole that Bryce put her in. Can't wait to see what's next for her, especially with all the magic around her.

Author's Response: Natalie is still bound to her book for as long as the blood pact is good... which may not be too much longer, but at the moment it is. Natalie is, indeed, building herself and her allies up to be able to have a shot against the Bryces (the bad ones)... but will it be enough to succeed?

Reviewer: AlexaTiresias Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/15/19 04:00 am Title: Chapter One: Victorious

I have a question: since magic in this setting has a vaguely pseudo-Wiccan flavor (covens, rhyming chants invoking the power of some sort of goddess, etc.), I am curious if the threefold law (i.e. magic used with Ill-intent will return upon the caster threefold) exists in this universe?

Author's Response: That's a good question. I didn't intend to have the threefold law as a thing, per se. But something akin to it exists. Basically, if you make a magical pact with somebody and then you break the pact, the you get as much power over them as the power invested into the pact. That is, if you both contribute equally to the pact (e.g. 'vitality' for a blood pact) and then they break it, then all of that energy is yours to compel them to do something of greater value.

Reviewer: Elron Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/11/19 09:49 pm Title: Chapter Ten: Initiate

Wow, there is a lot going on in each chapter. Figures Natalie would be making the rules work for her, right out of the gate as an Initiate. I like, though, that her intentions are good. She isn't trying to get rich. She helped Emi and Michelle. She is going to straighten out that twisted girl's school, and the guy's school, in good time. Yes, her quest for revenge seems evil. But in the balance of good and evil worldwide, taking down her stepfather and stepbrother could only be good for mankind.

You have such imaginative and creative writing. Thank you for sharing it with us.

Author's Response: I'm glad you like the writing - I had a blast writing this story and I'm so happy to see it's being well-received. Obviously, there are a lot of very dark parts in this story, but I've tried to put a little bit of everything into the mix. Just about the only thing it hasn't got is gory violence... some of my stories have that (e.g. Scions), but this one does not. I hope you'll keep reading!

Reviewer: JohnSmith13 Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/11/19 02:55 pm Title: Chapter One: Victorious

I like this story. I cannot leave many comments, because my work does not allow it. (Lack of time)
I wonder: what is the origin of “St. Circe. "
Amanda Bryce, was turned into an 11-year-old girl, as punishment for having sex with a man. Rowan Bryce wants Amanda to be a perfect and adorable daughter.
----
I wonder what father would pay a lot of money to turn his daughter into a little girl and be bullied. Possibly, some parents believe that their daughters are very rebellious or caused public scandals (lost cases) and were punished as Littles; other dominant parents want their daughters to be adorable and tender forever, but they also don't want them to be bullied (perfect daughters). But in spite of these 2 circumstances they would not be enough, to constitute half of the students; That's why I assume other origins for some students:
To steal an inheritance; is the case of Emi
Some Littles were employed (maids, secretaries, executives and other workers) that provoked the wrath of a rich family
Other Littes are only people who provoked the wrath of rich families; I remember a story in which a married teacher punishes a rich student (despite the warnings of his colleagues), then he is a teacher and his wife is kidnapped, the teacher's wife is turned into a maid and the teacher is turned into the Rich student's girlfriend.
I also believe that many Littles are being trained to become wives, on the whim of a rich teenager.
-----------
All people have a different magical potential. Some have high potential (prodigies), others have an intermediate level, and many only have a low level (these people can only use magic through enchanted items) (but these enchanted items are expensive and can only be manufactured by those of very high potential), but these low-level Bigs students learn magic, just like the other Bigs, but upon graduation they learn to respect school. And to high potential graduates.
I always thought that a Little with high magic potential would be a danger to the school and its students.

Reviewer: Roadbandit Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/10/19 05:30 pm Title: Chapter Ten: Initiate

This storyline is becoming more interesting and becoming a favorite of mine, I can’t wait to see what happens next. Well done

Author's Response: I'm glad to hear it! I hope you'll keep reading!

Reviewer: Lilchelly Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/10/19 05:55 am Title: Chapter Ten: Initiate

I cant wait till Dr. Sauvage gets what's coming to her. She already broke the 2nd rule. I hope Mistress Starlight rips her soul apart or something equally horrific. It's the least she deserves.

Author's Response: Sauvage *does* deserve very bad things... unfortunately, she's also a highly-ranked member of the coven that Natalie has just joined. She'll have to get her revenge subtly and slowly... but I promise she'll get at least a little revenge before too long - though definitely not enough to balance the equation.

Reviewer: AlexaTiresias Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/10/19 01:01 am Title: Chapter Ten: Initiate

Wow, Natalie sure is good at this sort of manipulation and planning. Rowan won’t know what hit him.

Author's Response: Yeah, I'd argue that Natalie is actually much more dangerous this way because, looking like she does and being a little, many people don't take her seriously and underestimate her growing skillset. And it's a skill set that makes her very good at infiltrating organizations and bending their rules to her benefit. Thanks for reading!

Reviewer: Sthelen Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/09/19 11:44 pm Title: Chapter Ten: Initiate

Who would have thought, now they have to get in trouble instead of avoiding it. Ah, the irony of the punishment.
Also very glad about Emi, at least she can think.

Author's Response: Yup! They're flipping the school's method of punishment on its head to get what they want instead of what St. Circe's wants - pretty tricky, sis! And, fortunately for Emi, the potion's effects can't last forever and her brain is safe.

Reviewer: Grover Signed Report
Date: 11/09/19 12:11 pm Title: Chapter Nine: Heist

I'm a bit late, but real life don't you know! That explanation of what really happened to Amanda and Martin that night makes sense. Magic it seems truly complicates things. Neither one intended what happened.
However, Natalie has her back to the wall here. The choice was really no choice at all. Rowan is a piece of work and has much as promised that she would be abused and tortured. He really won't like how the contract has been amended. :)!
I'm looking forward to more!

Author's Response: Thanks for reading! I know all about real life getting in the way - trying to balance writing on top of a job and a social life is pretty tricky, too. Yeah, magic can really throw a wrench in the works, but now it's Natalie's wrench to wield, and she's going to make sure she's in a position to get Rowan and the baddies. Thanks for reading!

Reviewer: Sthelen Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/07/19 05:53 pm Title: Chapter Nine: Heist

This is getting more and more interesting.
I really hope Natalie can revert most of the little girls' curses. Have been feeling sad for Emi since knowing they make her stupid over time. Now I'm glad to know it's only temporary and I have high hopes they can revert or dispel it.
P.S.: Natalie as the next headmistress

Author's Response: I don't know if Natalie will be the *next* headmistress, but she might get there eventually. As for what happens with Emi... I've just submitted a chapter that deals with that. Thanks for reading!

Reviewer: Sthelen Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/07/19 05:45 pm Title: Chapter Eight: Accusers

That's right, Natalie. Revenge is a dish best served cold.

Author's Response: This is a really 'slow burn' revenge-wise, but I think it's best that way. This is meant to be the first part in a two-part story where this part is the setup and the next part is the big time revenge... but there will be some decent doses of comeuppance here, as well.

Reviewer: Sthelen Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/07/19 05:41 pm Title: Chapter Seven: Formal

Yes! Natalie kicking some! Protect the girls! Lovely chapter.
By the way, you wrote "ma amie" but it's "mon amie".
You use "mon" for masculine nouns and before a word that begins with a vowel, and "ma" for feminine nouns.

Author's Response: Thanks for the correction on my French - it's been a while since I took it. Although, I suppose, maybe Natalie is as crappy at French as I am. Poor French aside, I hope you'll keep reading!

Reviewer: Sthelen Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/07/19 01:08 pm Title: Chapter Six: Little Miss Obstinate

I love this story, it's awesome. Just binge read up to this chapter so far and I really want to keep reading.
By the way, small note, at the end of the chapter, the last two lines, we have this exchange:

I reached around as far as I could and patted her somewhere on her back just past her side. "Friends?" I said.
Natalie laughed through her tears. "Friends."

I'm guessing the reply comes from Cassie, otherwise Natalie would both ask and reply, and it feels weird.

Author's Response: Thanks for reading and thanks for catching my mistake - you're absolutely correct! That should be Cassie laughing through her tears. I've just submitted the next chapter!

Reviewer: Lailaluvs00 Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/07/19 11:55 am Title: Chapter Nine: Heist

Yay, finally her real training can begin!

Author's Response: Yep! St. Circe's won't know what hit it!

Reviewer: AlexaTiresias Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/07/19 04:01 am Title: Chapter Nine: Heist

Making magical contracts or bargains is like dealing with the fair-folk; you should never go into it lightly or in anger, the price will always be higher than what you thought when you made the deal, and most importantly, choosing your words carefully is vital. Methinks Rowan is going to get a rather painful lesson in why that last one is important in the future.

Author's Response: Methinks you are correct. While Natalie is still a newcomer to the world of witchcraft, she's clever, resourceful and motivated to get revenge. Thanks for reading!

Reviewer: evenrude Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/07/19 03:37 am Title: Chapter One: Victorious

I must admit that I’m usually not a big fan iof stories involving magic and/or sorcery. I have to say that this one initially turned me off but I kept reading and it just started to get better and better. So much so that I decided to reread the early chapters so that I could refresh myself on the whole story, which I originally read rather quickly trying to get the gist of the story but not finding much to hold my interest. But the detail and complex relationships of the bigs and littles, and the fact that Cassie did a complete redu and became a big without losing her friendship with her roommate even as her roommate seemed to fall from grace with everything she did.

This is a product of a very imaginative mind and a very good writer.

Keep it going and I hope there are some more plot twists and turns left before the climax chapter.

One of the better stories on this forum.

Reviewer: evenrude Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/07/19 03:37 am Title: Chapter One: Victorious

I must admit that I’m usually not a big fan iof stories involving magic and/or sorcery. I have to say that this one initially turned me off but I kept reading and it just started to get better and better. So much so that I decided to reread the early chapters so that I could refresh myself on the whole story, which I originally read rather quickly trying to get the gist of the story but not finding much to hold my interest. But the detail and complex relationships of the bigs and littles, and the fact that Cassie did a complete redu and became a big without losing her friendship with her roommate even as her roommate seemed to fall from grace with everything she did.

This is a product of a very imaginative mind and a very good writer.

Keep it going and I hope there are some more plot twists and turns left before the climax chapter.

One of the better stories on this forum.

Author's Response: Thanks so much! Coming from somebody who's usually out-of-genre, that's a huge complement! There are going to be lots of plot twists to come, as I've got 21 chapters in all. I hope you'll keep reading!

Reviewer: evenrude Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/07/19 03:37 am Title: Chapter One: Victorious

I must admit that I’m usually not a big fan iof stories involving magic and/or sorcery. I have to say that this one initially turned me off but I kept reading and it just started to get better and better. So much so that I decided to reread the early chapters so that I could refresh myself on the whole story, which I originally read rather quickly trying to get the gist of the story but not finding much to hold my interest. But the detail and complex relationships of the bigs and littles, and the fact that Cassie did a complete redu and became a big without losing her friendship with her roommate even as her roommate seemed to fall from grace with everything she did.

This is a product of a very imaginative mind and a very good writer.

Keep it going and I hope there are some more plot twists and turns left before the climax chapter.

One of the better stories on this forum.

Reviewer: Elron Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/07/19 12:58 am Title: Chapter One: Victorious

You hope? You couldn't drag me away from Natalie with a team of magical horses!

Author's Response: :D They're unicorns!

Reviewer: rudoliastaehel Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/07/19 12:09 am Title: Chapter Nine: Heist

Um um, question, question!!! Can only witches do potions? If so, how did Cassie know the recipe would work when Natalie used it? Or maybe she wasnt expecting her to brew it, if so, why use code?
Sorry to be 'that' guy! Nice chapter.

Author's Response: The code is Cassie's way of getting around a witch rule - witches aren't allowed to reveal their ways to outsiders. But, by writing in code like this, she can make a boring recipe, plus a puzzle that somebody else (Natalie) can solve to reveal the potion. Basically, it's her way of telling Natalie something that she's not allowed to tell. In order to brew a potion, you have to be able to call upon some higher power to grant the potion power (in this case, 'Mistress Starlight') who may or may not imbue the potion with power. I imagine a powerful witch could brew a potion with her own magical power and a lot of gumption, and any witch in a coven can call upon her coven's patron (Mistress Starlight, in the case of the Sisterhood of the Starry Night), who will almost always bless the potion. Starlight might have chosen not to bless Natalie's potion, but she did for reasons that are her own - perhaps because Natalie's intentions were pure.

Reviewer: storylovinggamer Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/06/19 11:03 pm Title: Chapter Nine: Heist

Interesting to see what punishment is fleshes out on Sunday... I agree with the others here that Natalie really needs to get justice for the whole school. Way too many innocent girls there being punished or altered against their will.

Author's Response: While I can't promise that Natalie will get a justice that sits well with everybody, at the very least she's going to raise hell and force the school to change some things. She may even have a plan to turn the whole system on its head... I guess we'll find out!

Reviewer: Lilchelly Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/06/19 10:59 pm Title: Chapter Nine: Heist

"Our code"

ROFG as if you have one. Nah you're all human filth and I hope every last one of you burns in hell. Especially 'Dr' Sauvage

Author's Response: Some of them are more horrible than others - at the very least, Lily *thinks* she has a code, even if it's one that many would find highly objectionable. Dr. Sauvage, though, may be too self-righteous to see that St. Circe's old and horrible traditions have caused her to do horrible things to the girls under her supervision.

Reviewer: Elron Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/06/19 10:31 pm Title: Chapter Nine: Heist

So now that Natalie knows that Amanda is at the school, and has been changed for the worse, and that Martin does in fact bear some responsibility for Amanda's current situation. Will Natalie start to look after Amanda, take her under her wing? Natalie has been shown to stick her neck out for an altruistic cause. It would be nice for her to become a 'big sister' to Amanda.

Author's Response: We'll definitely have more of Amanda again, though not for at least a couple of chapters. I don't want to spoil too much, but she's not going to be a major character but might have enough of a role to build off of the sisterly relationship, should I get around to a sequel.

Reviewer: Elron Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/06/19 10:20 pm Title: Chapter Nine: Heist

I think Natalie did the right thing - again. First, she prevented rapes at the dance. Then she nullified the dumb-down potion they were giving Emi.

Now the headmistress believes that Nat didn't rape Amanda - at least not intentionally. Nat just has a knack for persuasion. Too bad it didn't work on Rowan Bryce and his son on Family Day.

So now Natalie has joined the coven. That should ultimately help her in her quest for justice. Not just for her, but for all the girls that are suffering heinous punishments at the whim of the rich and powerful. I can't wait to see what happens when she learns to control and channel that magical power.

This has turned into a very deep and intense story. I think you are doing a masterful job of writing. Thank you.

Author's Response: Thanks for your input! I'm trying to portray Natalie as somebody who, if she thinks she's in the right, she'll get more and more determined to do it the more you try to stop her. Coupled with the fact that she's apparently pretty magically gifted, that makes her a bad person to have pissed off at you. Not that I'd want Rowan Bryce to be pissed off at me either, because we've seen how that works out, but he's an a******, and hopefully he'll get what's coming to him. I hope you'll keep reading!

Reviewer: ZZChromosome Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/06/19 08:07 pm Title: Chapter Nine: Heist

Just finished Chapter Nine and I'm really enjoying this story so far.

Regarding the Magical Contract - I didn't want to say anything earlier because I didn't want to steal your thunder (it's your story to tell, not mine). However, I think now is the time to speak up. A misrepresentation of material fact that would have affected the other party's willingness to enter into the contract, makes the contract NULL and VOID. In that light, I think St. Circe's School can now walk away from Natalie's magical contract at any time it chooses to do so. In the meantime, it can enforce the contract selectively, as you have hinted at in previous posts.

Regarding Amanda's False Accusation - Almost exactly as I had suspected. In a way, Nathan actually did rape Amanda by unknowingly using his innate (and unsuspected) mind-control powers. So when Amanda cried "Rape!" she was actually believing that she had been maliciously seduced with mind-control.

But that wasn't what I had been thinking before. Before, I thought that Amanda had been under some sort of magical compulsion not to have sex (placed on her by her father) and that Nathan had simply broken the compulsion with his innate powers. But in the morning, the long-standing previous compulsion took over. That's why Amanda was so confused in court when it was proven that she had consensual sex - because the magical compulsion placed by her father forced her to recall it as a rape. Which it wasn't, because she was magically-compelled to recall it as such.

And, really darkly, not sure if you wanted to go there, but I figured that her father's motivation for placing the magical compulsion on her was because he considered her to be his "sexual property." Ew, gross, icky. Yeah, that's him. We now know he likes 'em young and is teaching his son to like 'em young, as well. Now he's made Amanda young again,,, because he likes younger. I'm so looking forward to his downfall at this point. What a sick family. Only question mark is the mom who looks exactly like the daughter. Creepiness factor over 9,000 at this point.

Author's Response: Regarding Martin's incident with Amanda, I purposefully made it morally ambiguous. While he had no reason to think he was doing wrong, he did traumatize a young woman and failed to meet the goal of "enthusiastic, informed consent" since Amanda was under some level of control. Basically, Martin/Natalie can talk people into just about anything if they have some inclination to follow. So, basically, if she asked you to come to her room and your first thought was "no!", then you wouldn't do it... but if your first thought was "should I?", then she can talk you into it, sometimes even if you're a pretty powerful witch. She still occasionally does it at St. Circe's, which is why she's able to pretty consistently get the littles to veer off of behavior plans that they've been following for months. Now... in retrospect, your idea about Rowan Bryce placing a "good girl" compulsion on Amanda is actually a really good idea, and I kind of wish I'd taken that route. I may actually add that in there if I ever revise the story because it tracks nicely with a lot of other things (at the expense of making what happened to Amanda less morally ambiguous for Martin). As for what Rowan Bryce views as his sexual property... he views pretty much anybody who isn't a witch/warlock as his property, sexual or otherwise. I haven't stated it explicitly, but I've thought of his wife as a witch, but one of significantly less power and status than Rowan, so he occasionally humors her but still thinks of her as his inferior.

Reviewer: Roadbandit Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/06/19 07:48 pm Title: Chapter Nine: Heist

That was a awesome chapter, I figured there was a offer coming! Now the storyline should pick up!

Author's Response: It should pick up, and it will! I'm glad you liked it - more to come!

Reviewer: rudoliastaehel Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/06/19 12:53 am Title: Chapter Eight: Accusers

Aw, would have wanted Amanda to be the timid boy in the party, would have made a nice twist.
I wonder, I guess the contract cannot be breached... but perhaps there are things more open to interpretation? Like, perhaps, the punishment? Maybe if her 'plan' changed, towards a more confident, competent, leader-type woman, perhaps 'he' would be more accepting to the treatment?
Dunno, perhaps there might be actors in the story interested in having such a student...

Author's Response: Amanda will fit into the story later in a different way. Regarding contracts, bad mojo happens if they're breached (basically, the other party gains some significant magical leverage over the party responsible for the breach)... but you can add onto and edit contracts, so long as you don't violate the first contract. So, for instance, an enterprising young witch might alter her own plan to be more to her liking, and if none of the other parties could tell the difference, it wouldn't be in breach of any contracts!

Reviewer: ZZChromosome Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/06/19 12:29 am Title: Chapter Eight: Accusers

Chapter 8 - I have to say, you had at least a half-dozen completely awesome passages in it, but "coronal-mass-ejection-hot" was my favorite. Your writing skills are over-the-top.

Author's Response: Thanks! I like to be playful with words - in a story like this, there's no reason not to be. I hope you'll keep reading!

Reviewer: Lailaluvs00 Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/05/19 03:19 am Title: Chapter Seven: Formal

Yay, finally a hint of Justice!

Author's Response: Every little bit helps!

Reviewer: AlexaTiresias Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/05/19 02:45 am Title: Chapter Eight: Accusers

Honestly, I almost get were Rowan is coming from. If someone raped my daughter, I would be quite happy to have them turned into a subservient little girl. As far as I am concerned, the moment you commit rape you deserve no mercy. But the fact that he is willing to have let his son rape Natalie, plus the fact that he seems to be attracted to someone so young, raises some serious red flags.

Author's Response: I don't like the idea of villains who are evil for evil's sake. Whether they're a semi-villain like Dr. Sauvage or a definitely-villain like Rowan Bryce, they have to be characters with understandable motivations just like everybody else. Now, Rowan Bryce may be a twisted, horrible human being, but he also does what he thinks is right within his understanding of the world. He wants to give Martin Warner, now Natalie Bryce, a taste of what his daughter experienced (or at least what he thinks she experienced) and he wants to be there to witness it. And he's so sure of himself and has so many psychological red flags that he's unwilling to question his initial assumptions when magical red flags start popping up. In some ways, he and Natalie are two peas in a pod - incorrigibly headstrong and determined to get revenge.

Reviewer: Nichola Sperry Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/04/19 10:33 pm Title: Chapter Eight: Accusers

Chapter 8, This is a dark story so far and I hated the MC but still felt sorry for them... this has stirred lots of dark emotions for me. If I said I hate the story but i am hooked in that "got to see what happens next" way says the the story telling is good from my point of view. Yes im looking for the next chapter with dread... always with dread.

Reviewer: Nichola Sperry Signed Report
Date: 11/04/19 10:33 pm Title: Chapter Eight: Accusers

Chapter 8, This is a dark story so far and I hated the MC but still felt sorry for them... this has stirred lots of dark emotions for me. If I said I hate the story but i am hooked in that "got to see what happens next" way says the the story telling is good from my point of view. Yes im looking for the next chapter with dread... always with dread.

Author's Response: For what it's worth, everything is drafted and I'm just refining and revising. I can promise that we don't descend into perpetual horror and that we're going to get quite a few ups to go with the downs.

Reviewer: Owlnighttime Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/04/19 10:03 pm Title: Chapter One: Victorious

Thanks for the reply! I somehow didn’t get the memo that some of the students had access to other students’ books.
After waiting for headmistress Lily’s appearance, it was quite disappointing that she merely skimmed the court case details and abandoned ship when she found out that Natalie had ‘committed rape’ or was accused of doing so. Although in retrospect, I think that helps keep Natalie in the school for longer(even with the binding contract) and allows for the story to be juicer so I don’t mind that. Anyways, I think that this school seems to be quite fucked up given all the events so far especially after hearing the backstories of the other littles. This is still a great story though. You know, there are some fucked up aspects in most great stories.
Also I think I should mention about my previous comment I said the case was a bad one in this case because the MC was being accused of rape and things were looking bad for him, but I really liked it and I think it was great how cousin Vince refutes all the claims from the prosecution. Just wanted to clear things up a bit since I noticed it might have come off wrongly. Also I guess I was wrong about Amanda being a big, though that was quite a nice plot twist.
I can’t help but speculate if something similar happened to Vince as with Natalie, and if Vince and Natalie meet would they able to fight back together again? I would love to see Natalie discover her magical potential possibly with Vince and wreck havoc if not destroy everything. One last thing, I remember Natalie’s plan being described as “a drama in three parts” is that why she is experiencing conflicting changes now?

Author's Response: Lots of good points - this is a pretty complex story, maybe a bit too complex. When I'm writing, I like to just start with a premise, come up with a starting idea, and just see where things go, and this one goes to all kinds of crazy places. Spoiler about Cousin Vince: I don't have plans for him in the rest of this story, but I have lots of notes for a sequel, and I'm kind of on the fence about whether to make him a villain or ally. Maybe you'll have some thoughts on that after this story comes to a finish.

Reviewer: Elron Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/04/19 06:14 pm Title: Chapter Eight: Accusers

Ok I have an idea where this could be headed, based on Nat's punishment for stopping Michelle's rape.
Phase 1 was to break her spirit, by making her smaller, weaker, and timid. Essentially a weak little girl with no spine.

Then in Phase 2, she starts to go through puberty, but as a small, weak, and helpless girl. Throw in an extra spoonful of libido and Nat either becomes the school slut, or someone at least advertising a good time. Either way she is ripe for rape, abuse, pregnancy, or all of the above. And from the way Parent's Night went, it seems like Rowan and Lucian will be first in line.

Rowan also hinted that Nat's stay might be shortened if Rowan deems her ready for his personal form of torture. So now Nat needs to worry that any day she could be pulled away from the relative safety of St Circes to be thrown into a deeper pit of hell.

I wonder how Headmistress is doing investigating the truth about Natalie? And if it will change anything for her. After all, a contract is a contract.

Great job writing this chapter, by the way.

Author's Response: I'd say you've pretty much hit the nail on the head. Of course, whatever was *planned* for Natalie, might not work as intended. Especially not after what happens at the end of Chapter 9 (coming soon!). As always, thanks for the feedback, and keep reading!

Reviewer: Roadbandit Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/04/19 03:08 pm Title: Chapter Eight: Accusers

I loved this chapter!

Author's Response: I'm glad you liked it!

Reviewer: ZZChromosome Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/03/19 12:54 pm Title: Chapter Seven: Formal

Chapter 7 was really intense. I think we're beginning to see the upward-arc turn here. Possibly. I'm sure there will be challenges along the way, but that was good.

Author's Response: I'd say chapters 7-8 (I've just posted 8) are probably the lowest points, and after that there's lots of adversity but also a lot more badassery. I hope you enjoy it!

Reviewer: rudoliastaehel Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/02/19 03:30 pm Title: Chapter One: Victorious

I put off this story because I thought it was about furries somehow??? But I finally got though it and Im impressed so far. Fantastic world-building!
My only comment for now, I hope there is no further shrinking... no offenses to anybodys kink, but I like my girls voluptuous and, well, not diminutive.

Author's Response: I'm glad you like it! Definitely not about furries (not that there's anything wrong with that)... though (spoilers) the story will have two *very brief* animal transformations. As for shrinking... I've already promised no more shrinking. If you like voluptuous, stay tuned!

Author's Response: I'm glad you like it! Definitely not about furries (not that there's anything wrong with that)... though (spoilers) the story will have two *very brief* animal transformations. As for shrinking... I've already promised no more shrinking. If you like voluptuous, stay tuned!

Author's Response: I'm glad you like it! Definitely not about furries (not that there's anything wrong with that)... though (spoilers) the story will have two *very brief* animal transformations. As for shrinking... I've already promised no more shrinking. If you like voluptuous, stay tuned!

Reviewer: Elron Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/02/19 05:49 am Title: Chapter Seven: Formal

Well, this is certainly no Hogwarts formal dance. I'm so glad Natalie had the balls to stand up and give a few kicks for the other girl's sake.

So now my question: when Natalie gets punished for getting out of line, she gets smaller and more timid. So if she does something good - like save the life of one of her classmates - will she be rewarded with an appropriate amount of growth? Or are her changes a one-way street? And from out here in the real world we all see what she did as a good thing, the right thing. But what about in St Circe's world, where magically raping helpless girls is an annual ritual? Will Natalie be rewarded or punished?

As always, your writing makes me feel like I was right there in the room. (And I was hoping Natalie would spend the night as a slug, just for a change of pace.)

Author's Response: Well... I believe I already promised that Natalie wouldn't get any smaller, and so she shall not. Though her 'reward' for bravery and good behavior may not be quite what she hoped. But her time for self-empowerment is fast approaching. Now... as for whether St. Circe's views what she did as the right thing? Clearly, some of them (e.g. Ms. Law) think it is, even if assaulting a St. Lovelock's boy (though a horrible rapist he may be) is very much a punishable offense. Basically, witch and warlock schools have very *old* sensibilities that haven't necessarily updated with the times. Sensibilities that are, frankly, monstrous from an ethical standpoint. There are many reformers within the school who want to change that (Lily being one of them), but we'll later meet some members of the School Board, many of whom are reactionary. And one of whom happens to be a not-so-sympathetic Byron Bryce - Rowan Bryce's father and Lucian and Amanda Bryce's grandfather.

Reviewer: Penned Signed Report
Date: 11/01/19 11:13 pm Title: Chapter One: Victorious

You said Natalie's contract was made in bad faith, but both parties consented. Bryce passed Natalie off as his daughter, but that wasn't the case. I'm assuming these contracts could work because the parent can speak for their child, but Natalie was both not related and an adult. So my question is, does the fact that Natalie never agreed to this have any ramifications, as opposed to the actual children of these parents?

Author's Response: Legally speaking, virtually everything about what's happened is deeply, deeply illegal. In terms of magical contracts, it has some ramifications, but they're fairly subtle. Because of the way a blood pact works, the parents and other close relatives of a person (e.g. a St. Circe's student) can make pacts on their behalf, though it's never as powerful as a pact made by the actual person in question. However, you need to be a blood relative (or an adoptive relative who the person has accepted as true family). The Bryces have serious connections and pulled some seriously weird magic to make Natalie blood-related to them, but it didn't totally work because Martin/Natalie already had a lot of magical potential, more than their weird, f*****-up magic could account for. Therefore, none of the intended punishments have nearly as much effect as they ought to, and the attempts at mental modification failed almost completely. The more salient ramification of this contract made in bad faith is that now Natalie is out for revenge... and several of the staff members are coming around to her side, including the headmistress. And when a powerful witch is pissed off at you, they play revenge as a long game and they play it hard. At the risk of revealing too much, this story is definitely a slow burn, but it's all about Natalie positioning herself to get horrible revenge against the Bryce family while becoming increasingly more awesome. But I wanted to make sure everybody was really rooting for her when she finally starts to have things go her way. I hope that makes sense.

Reviewer: H20_Mel0n Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/01/19 06:04 pm Title: Chapter Seven: Formal

I really really love this story and to be honest there is far too little shrinking/AR content in general on this site. Right now one of my favorite stories, eagerly waiting for new chapters!

Author's Response: I'm glad you like the story! I'm sorry to say there won't be *too* much more shrinking/AR (there definitely will be some, but not necessarily to Batalie), but there's plenty left to change!

Reviewer: Lena Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/01/19 12:41 pm Title: Chapter Seven: Formal

The story is well written, and I'm having fun reading it. I definitely hope there's loads more to come.

Author's Response: I'm glad you like it! This story is 21 chapters in all.

Reviewer: Grover Signed Report
Date: 11/01/19 11:52 am Title: Chapter Seven: Formal

So while we've seen 'sparks' of Natalie's magic, now it appears to be fully awakened. I do have to wonder if those contracts mention turning their students into psychopaths and sociopaths. The head mistress doesn't seem a bad sort, but I'm wondering if a fraction of the staff have their own agenda besides being sadists. I'm also wondering if Bryce already broke said contract when he misrepresented not only who Natalie was but his intentions.

I am suspecting that Bryce's daughter who started this whole mess was also a 'graduate' of this school. They all have this very warped sense of entitlement. That said the Boy's school is just as bad with that poor girl turned into a boy against her will.

The next chapter will be very interesting with the fallout with that artifact to help them punish her.
I'm looking forward to it!

Author's Response: Actually, we'll find out what became of Amanda Bryce in the next chapter - stay tuned! The staff members definitely have various ulterior motives, but also keep in mind: the vast majority of the students are pretty normal and not exposed to this ugly underbelly of the school. As for the Bryce contract - Natalie's contract was definitely made in bad faith... but that only matters under the law. Magic doesn't care whether you are honest or deceptive, so long as the contract is made voluntarily by both parties. Once made, a magical contract cannot be broken without the consent of all members of the pact - to do so will surely bring ruin upon you. That said, there are ways to amend contracts that may twist the intentions of the original contract without actually breaking it.

Reviewer: Amanda R Signed starstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/01/19 09:22 am Title: Chapter Seven: Formal

Well done is what she says? I really don't understand this story. It's entertaining to read. And I'm anxious for each chapter. But seems to be a lot more mean spirited and messed up then you think it is. I'm intrigued a lot by the world building and characters though. Just doesn't seem to be enough...weight there. Just too many abuses.

Author's Response: She says "well done" because she approves of Natalie stopping a horrible crime that, for whatever reason, she could not stop herself. It's supposed to be messed up - basically, the centuries-old sensibilities of the witch and warlock communities do not mesh well with modern sensibilities. But there are many witches who would change things if they could, and Natalie is increasingly getting them on her side. The first 8 chapters of this story start on a very negative note, indeed, but things will eventually start to shape up, however unevenly.

Reviewer: storylovinggamer Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 10/31/19 08:43 am Title: Chapter Six: Little Miss Obstinate

I think Natalie has a inatate level of immunity against harmful magic because she has a level of powers of her own.

I seriously hope she is able to break free of this bullshit school and shut it down. In my mind it's a horrifying place that literally twists peoples minds through various forms of torture. I have a feeling someone connected to the asshole who sent natalie off has warped and twisted this school with magical contracts that can't be gone against. Each teacher at the school pretty much has confessed that they must "follow the contract given to them" despite not agreeing with it. It would be nice to see natalie become a hero who breaks free the people caged and imprisoned there, while also being able to get justice for herself.

Do note, despite the parents of those kids sending them off to be "Better" in their minds, it still may very well be a brainwashing session for those poor kids, not something that benefits them. Think about it, the parents might be overtly religious in some kind of cult and believe their children don't conform to their ideology, therefor shipping them off to a school that can "Change their minds"

Author's Response: Regarding why Natalie has a degree of innate immunity, part of it is because she's got potential to be a pretty powerful witch. But another part is because Natalie Bryce it's her body's "True Name", but her mind wasn't altered by the initial transformation (which is why mental changes don't really work on her - this will be more explicitly clear later). A big part of this story is how Natalie is changed by St. Circe's... and how she changes the school in return. I think (hope) you'll like how it turns out. Keep reading!

Reviewer: Lailaluvs00 Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 10/30/19 04:54 am Title: Chapter Six: Little Miss Obstinate

I really love this story! Not sure what you've tapped into in me but I'm completely entranced and under your spell;-)

Author's Response: I'm glad you're enjoying it! The next chapter drops on Friday!

Reviewer: Elron Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 10/29/19 04:32 pm Title: Chapter Six: Little Miss Obstinate

Wow, this was a very busy chapter - from Nat's sexual awakening to public humiliation.
I'm glad Natalie has control over the magic that is supposed to control her. I hope she continues to exploit her abilities.

It's about time the headmistress looked into Natalie's story. But with all of Rowan's connections could he have altered or destroyed the evidence that exonerated Natalie before the transformation?

Natalie's 'training' is supposed to last up to 2 years. At her rate it could go much longer and not break her. Any chance the story will cover the full time span? I'm being selfish - I don't want it to end.

Ok, onto punishments. First, I understand the effect on Natalie. She is too outspoken and rebellious. So when she gets paddled she gets smaller and more timid. Makes sense.
Now Cassie. It seems like what happens to her would be considered a reward to most girls, not a punishment. At least the physical changes.
Finally, I hope Cecelia gets punished for what she did to Natalie. And I hope it is an especially humiliating punishment that befits the crime, maybe a little tit-for-tat. Bust her down to a 'little' and make her earn her way back to the big girls table.

One last question - if the bigs have magical abilities and training could an enemy of Nat's go rogue and start casting unauthorized spells on her?

Author's Response: There's a lot to respond to here but, in brief, the story covers all of Natalie's time at St. Circe's. I have notes for a sequel, which will consist of Natalie's continued quest for revenge and the fulfillment of an old witch prophecy. Cassie's own punishments are partly off course - the school is usually very good at anticipating what will nudge a girl in the direction her plan requires. However, making Cassie more confident and imposing actually makes her more likely to team up with Natalie. Now... if the school eventually threatened to take that away, that might be a very good way to control her (or Cecilia, for that matter), but first they have to be jolted out of business as usual. As for whether one of Natalie's detractors could use magic against her? Signs point to yes! I'm sure that will go over well!

Reviewer: Grover Signed Report
Date: 10/29/19 01:14 pm Title: Chapter Six: Little Miss Obstinate

I'm enjoying your story! It is a somewhat different take on the 'girl' school thing, and I like how you imply that there are other things going on behind the scenes. Also the character development that you've handle well, of Natalie and Cassie changing, but remaining at the core still themselves. That's hard, but I think you're doing a fine job.

I'm eager to see more!

Author's Response: I'm glad you like it so far! I've tried to take some of the tropes typically seen in this sort of punishment/transformation story and tried to see how it would play out with relatively complex and sympathetic characters. I think the next chapter will be a real eye-opener, so stay tuned!

Reviewer: Penned Signed Report
Date: 10/29/19 12:47 pm Title: Chapter One: Victorious

Please tell me the MC gets control over her physical form soon. If they can swap her with magic, I don't see why she can't change herself back.

Author's Response: She'll get *some* control over her physical form *eventually*, but Natalie doesn't have anywhere near the expertise in magic to pull off a full-body transformation yet. In fact, as of right now, she knows zero magic. But that will change soon.

Reviewer: Genny Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 10/29/19 12:19 pm Title: Chapter Six: Little Miss Obstinate

Damn! As a big fan of "mind affecting magic" I'm not sure which I'd like more: Natalie being unable to resist the mental effects on her degrading path OR her resisting of them constantly leading to more and more severe effects until she can eventually no longer resist. Either way, I'm loving this story so far! Keep it up!

Author's Response: It's going to keep up for a while... and some fundamental parts of Natalie's character are changing, but so far her eagerness to resist is not one of them. I wouldn't bet on her giving up any time soon. Thanks for reading!

Reviewer: Roadbandit Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 10/29/19 11:03 am Title: Chapter Six: Little Miss Obstinate

Excellent storyline,I hoping that the headmistress finds the truth and helps her.

Author's Response: Whatever her flaws, and there are some biggies, Headmistress Lily is astute and she won't tolerate being anybody's fool. Whatever her attitude toward Natalie, she'll be none too happy with Rowan Bryce. We'll just have to see what that means for our heroine. Thanks for reading!

Reviewer: Elron Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 10/27/19 09:45 pm Title: Chapter One: Victorious

Ovid, thank you for taking the time to explain things to me. This is obviously a much more complex story than a simple TG. You are writing with the skills of a chess master, putting all the pieces in place and looking way ahead. I'm really loving all the intracacies and nuances. Makes a story complete.

Author's Response: I certainly *try* to plan things in advance and to get everything to fit into place - whether or not I succeed is the question, I suppose. If people are satisfied with my overall story arcs, then I consider it a success. While most of my writing contains a heavy TG element, I would consider the story a failure if it didn't have interesting character development beyond changes and the acceptance (or non-acceptance) of those changes. As I see it, physical transformation in these stories are only the first step in a character's transformation, and the subsequent reaction and character growth is just as interesting. I hope you'll keep reading.

Reviewer: Elron Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 10/27/19 05:47 am Title: Chapter Five: Littles

I like the way Natalie is rebelling against the administration and the other students. Somebody has to take a stand.

I don't fully understand tbe Bigs vs the Littles. It seems like whenever Natalie gets paddled she gets younger or less developed physically. Cassie seems to get more developed when she gets paddled. Seems like it creates a bigger chasm between the groups. And maybe that's what the school wants. Obviously some secret stuff is going on.

Natalie was accused of breaking into the admin building. But the door was unlocked. And the door to room A010 wasn't locked, just sort of hidden. Does that really count as breaking in or just trespassing? And were the girls told not to go in there? Sorry, just playing lawyer here.

I think this story is fascinating. You have created a very unique storyline and I'm dying to read more. Thank you.

Author's Response: Hi Elron, I'm glad you find the story fascinating. The next chapter will be posted Tuesday! So my idea behind the Bigs and the littles is this - every student has some sort of behavior plan intended to sculpt their body and behavior into whatever form their parents and/or guardians want. For most students, it's pretty exciting - becoming a better version of themselves. For students that need to become much more assertive/outgoing or meek/subservient, they're placed into Big/little pairs to help drive the changes. These are usually huge changes that the students don't want, and so the school uses a social order to help enforce it. My intention for Natalie is that she isn't getting younger, per se, but that her body is changing to one where puberty had less 'oomph'. She's still got all of her secondary sex characteristics, but on a smaller, weaker frame designed to make her more submissive and less able to rebel. Needless to say, she's *very* headstrong and it hasn't been going so well for the school. The school's admin building is left unlocked because that's where the infirmary is - students need to be able to go there during medical emergencies. But, beyond that, students are virtually invited to break the rules. Basically, the whole philosophy of the St. Circe's administration is to give the girls enough rope to hang themselves. That is, they're given opportunities to break the rules, and when they do they're punished in spectacular fashion. This is meant to condition good behavior, even when there's no barrier to bad behavior. Does it count as breaking in? Well, being out after curfew, being up to mischief, and being where you know you ought not to be are all punishable as far as the school is concerned. Whether or not it's de jure 'breaking in' hardly matters. If the students know they shouldn't do it, then the school is going to punish them for it more often than not. In any case, Natalie is a lot more obstinate and crafty than anybody ever gives her credit for. The St. Circe's administration had better watch their backs

Reviewer: Amanda R Signed starstarstarstar Report
Date: 10/26/19 10:01 pm Title: Chapter Five: Littles

Very solidly written and a nice set of character journeys. However, you're not really giving this school an upside and selling it as possibly not that bad at all well and as you've said that was your intention that isn't going that well. Needed more glimmers of people not being so horrible at their jobs and arranging so much torture in the adminstration of the school.

Author's Response: It's a 21-chapter novel, so hopefully those glimmers will be quite clear by mid-point. And, if not, I haven't done my job well enough. I hope you'll keep reading!

Reviewer: Lailaluvs00 Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 10/26/19 05:18 pm Title: Chapter Five: Littles

This is such a pleasure to read, can't wait for the next chapter!

Author's Response: Watch for the next chapter on Tuesday!

Reviewer: ZZChromosome Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 10/26/19 03:52 pm Title: Chapter Five: Littles

The story is interesting and complex. The characters are very three-dimensional, with filled out personalities. Looking forward to reading more chapters.

Author's Response: I'm glad you like it thus far - much more to come!

Reviewer: sunn Signed Report
Date: 10/25/19 04:52 pm Title: Chapter One: Victorious

I love slow transformations. when will the next chapter be?

Author's Response: Tomorrow! Glad you like it!

Reviewer: Maria Esperanza Signed Report
Date: 10/24/19 10:06 pm Title: Chapter Four: Best Behavior

While I realize you have other plans for this story. I can't help but want Natalie to destroy this school and all the horrible people who run it. As well as the man responsible. Such invasive brainwashing and torture makes the skin crawl.

Author's Response: My goal was definitely to get things off to as bad a start as possible at St. Circe's. However, I hope I'll be able to convince readers that not all of St. Circe's is evil and beyond forgiveness. As resourceful as Natalie is, she's got to pick her battles and find some strategic allies.

Reviewer: Owlnighttime Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 10/23/19 11:03 pm Title: Chapter One: Victorious

Very exquisite and such a fresh story! I appreciated the mix of law at the start. Who doesn’t love a great court case, or a bad one in this case, but fear not! Cousin Vince to the rescue! It felt a bit like Phoenix wright with the objections which was quite entertaining.
The school itself reminded me of hogwarts except mixed with tgstorytime, and that was great. The feel of the grandeur of the school and the associated midieval era atmosphere greatly adds anticipation of the unknown. The transformations and their description were also sexy even though I feel for the unjustice that had been brought to the MC. Perhaps that girl was a product of the school and a big? Her dad does know about the school, and she did act a bit dominant and manipulative when she approached him that night and they did the deed.
This last chapter however was quite eventful and I really enjoyed it. The only thing I wish was different was that the MC tried to fight more after they catch him breaking the rule with his big. It bothered me a bit that he only mention that he was being unjustly taken revenge of after he got caught trying to escape.
I also have a question about the shower incident—it kinda seemed like the other bigs knew about MC’s leftover male appendages, but if they didn’t they didn’t seem fazed or did not react when the shower door was popped open. So did Cass spill the beans?

Author's Response: As for how the other Bigs knew about Natalie's leftover Mr. Warner? It's never made explicitly clear, but some of the Bigs have access to the student behavior plans because they work as student assistants to Headmistress Lily or Dr. Sauvage. So, if they didn't pressure it out of Cassie, they could have found out that way. Perhaps Natalie should have fought more, but my intent was that she thought it wouldn't do any good to do so... but she's very resourceful. Maybe she can outsmart them using their own rules.

Reviewer: Elron Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 10/23/19 06:43 pm Title: Chapter Four: Best Behavior

You had fun writing this chapter? My legs were crossed so tight it hurt.
I was surprised that Little Natalie was still there when Big Natalie first woke up, but I figured at some point this would happen. I think Mr. Brice pre-arranged for an excuse to have Lil' Nat removed as painfully as possible while Natalie was awake and watching. Apparently, money can buy happiness.

The caste system among the girls is intriguing, especially with magic being involved. Seems like Natalie is bound and determined to break down the walls between the girls. But will she regress each time she pushes back?

Your writing continues to captivate me. I love this story and can't wait for the next installment.

Author's Response: As we'll soon find out, if we didn't know it already, Rowan Bryce is a deeply f***** up dude. While the administration of St. Circe's is f***** up in many regards, they have their own code that they go by, and that means following whatever plan they agreed upon with Rowan Bryce down to the letter. What, exactly, they agreed upon... well, we'll find out soon. But suffice it to say, Natalie isn't going to take it lying down and is going to offer more than a little pushback, and between Natalie and the St. Circe's administration, one of them will eventually have to give.

Reviewer: Genny Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 10/23/19 03:54 pm Title: Chapter Four: Best Behavior

Oh my god! I loove this story! Very promising start. Just my favorite kind of mind affecting magic leading to submission and changes in behavior. I wish we can see some sexuality change too at some point, especially with the new changes ;3

Easily favorited and watching closely!

Author's Response: There's definitely some of all of these, though I'll warn you in advance: Natalie may become a sub in the bedroom, but she might end up being more than even St. Circe's can handle.

Reviewer: Penned Signed Report
Date: 10/23/19 08:54 am Title: Chapter One: Victorious

The school is sick, which I understand is your intent. At this point, I'm kind of hoping 'Natalie' kills all of them in horrific ways, from the students, to the teachers.

Author's Response: Part of the notion I'm trying to get across, especially in these early chapters, is that the mores of witchcraft are very different from those of society. Right now, the school administration still thinks they're justified in their actions because they're punishing a horrible rapist. But make no mistake, this is very much a revenge story, and Natalie *will* exact revenge against some of those who have wronged her. But it may not be as brutal and final as you'd like.

Reviewer: Lailaluvs00 Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 10/22/19 02:43 am Title: Chapter Three: Punishment

Hmm how Interesting, can't wait for more!

Author's Response: Great! I'll be posting a new chapter every three days!

Reviewer: Elron Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 10/21/19 05:19 pm Title: Chapter Three: Punishment

I'm surprised Cassie was so willing to escape with Natalie. She seems too timid, which is the reason she was sent to the school.

I kind of expected the girls would make it through the woods, only to find themselves back in the schoolyard. Your description of the forest and the event was excellent.

The head witch seemed very willing to believe Natalie's true background. You did say she would become Natalie's best friend in short order.

The school seems like quite an interesting place with all the Magic. I assume that at some point Natalie is gonna lose Little Natalie(?) and become a complete, if not more childlike, girl. I'm really enjoying this story and can't wait for the next part. Thanks.

Author's Response: I'm glad you've enjoyed the story thus far! My intent with Cassie, perhaps not relayed well enough, is that she's not outgoing or self-confident (at least not at first), but she's often decisive. While she and Natalie are increasingly different from a physical standpoint, they're both very headstrong. Sometimes far too headstrong for their own good. Whether this changes at all, I guess we'll find out.

Reviewer: mynameischloe Signed Report
Date: 10/20/19 04:50 pm Title: Chapter One: Victorious

I hope I didn't seem rude! I love the cover, but I think you know what I mean. I'm so excited for more knowing that. Also, I emailed you yesterday, it may have gone to your spam :) thank you again!

Author's Response: Hi Chloe, yes your email went to spam, but I've now replied. The next chapter posts to TGS tomorrow!

Reviewer: mynameischloe Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 10/20/19 02:01 am Title: Chapter One: Victorious

I love this so far, I like the compulsion, and the headmistress seems sweet to me. Like other people, I'm really hoping for no identity death. I want her to become a better, feminine version of herself. Not a different person. I can't wait for more! I wanted to add, are you doing to be adding the cover image every chapter? The only reason is that when it's just words I can read openly but the picture can be seen. Thank you! I'm excited to see where you take this!

Author's Response: I think you'll like how the story progresses - I promise no identity death! I didn't consider people not wanting the cover to be seen - something to consider for future chapters. I just liked the way it turned out. Keep an eye out for more!

Reviewer: Faye Kistry Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 10/19/19 07:15 pm Title: Chapter Two: St. Circe's

Two excellent first chapters, I’m looking forwards to seeing where all this leads. Thank you.

Author's Response: I'm glad you liked the first two chapters! I'll be posting a new one every three days through completion!

Reviewer: Arcade Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 10/19/19 06:24 am Title: Chapter One: Victorious

Really enjoying the story so far. The writing is top notch, and the narrative itself is really interesting so far. Looking forward to seeing what comes next!

Author's Response: I'm glad you've enjoyed it so far! Look for a new chapter every three days.

Reviewer: AlexaTiresias Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 10/18/19 09:50 pm Title: Chapter Two: St. Circe's

I will preface this by saying that the set-up for the story leaves a bad taste in my mouth; I find the idea of someone being falsely accused of rape furthers the sexist narrative that somehow men are at risk of being falsely accused of rape. On the other hand, the story itself is quite good, and i want to read more. The writing was nice, and the pacing was good.

Author's Response: Then let me preface my response by saying: I am attuned to your concerns and hope you'll give the narrative a chance to develop. In fact, consent will become a major underlying theme, and I hope the overall arc will come across as empowering rather than buying into a pernicious trope. I hope you'll continue to read (I'll post a new chapter every three days) and weigh in with your thoughts. Thanks!

Reviewer: Elron Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 10/18/19 02:15 pm Title: Chapter Two: St. Circe's

Very interesting start and a creative reason and mechanism for the transformation.

I'm surprised more was not said about the physical changes. All we really know is that Natalie is 16 with long red hair, green eyes; and a penis she is not allowed to use for anything fun. Nothing about her measurements, the shape of her face, or her general build. I imagine we'll get more of a description later, but if I had been turned into a Teenage girl I would check out my body ASAP.

Do you suppose Natalie s left with her penis intact to serve as a temptation given his 'crime'?

Finally, I agree with the other reviewer about identity death. But I don't think this story has it - yet. At least for now, he is still inside, but only compelled to talk of himself as a girl. Can't wait to read more.

Author's Response: I'm glad you think it's interesting so far. As for the worries and critiques, I think you'll be pleasantly surprised in how this shakes out. I haven't spent too much space describing the changes yet because there are more to come - hopefully, I'll describe them satisfactorily. And worry not about poor Natalie - the story title is meant to be a bit tongue-in-cheek within the scope of the whole story - there's no getting Martin/Natalie behave no matter how hard you try.

Reviewer: Fishguy123 Signed starstarstarstar Report
Date: 10/18/19 08:38 am Title: Chapter One: Victorious

The writings compelling but if this turns into a story about a guy being mentally tortured until he's a different person I am OUT. Both undeserved punishment and identity death (it's just straight up murder) are abhorrent. I wouldn't wish either on anyone. I'm rooting for the MC here and frankly I'm not optimistic from how similar stories always seem to go.

Author's Response: I think you'll be pleasantly surprised, then. This is a severe *spoiler*, but: I rarely do identify death, and never in a long form story. Is there undeserved punishment here? Most assuredly. But this is the beginning of a revenge story, not the end, and Natalie will be the one gunning for revenge here. And when she does, watch out!

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