Date: 10/20/19 01:36 pm Title: The Mission
Lucy and Sarah make a cute pair, even before magic getting involved. I'm glad those two didn't get unjustly punished. Their interactions are undoubtedly my favorite parts of this story. Sadie using her magic to help a trans girl out was very refreshing.
Gabe's punishment is a bit uncomfortable with how far it goes, but I'm aware that that's something of a trope in these types of stories. The being made to act like a girl against her will and even have a boyfriend to flirt with part seems fair enough after him being such a jerk to Lucy, being as cruel as threatening to out her, and being disrespectful to his angry witch ex-girlfriend after being caught being an invasive creep on top of that, but the implications of forced sexual encounter being involved in the punishment feels like its taking it way too far. Not that you're the only story to have a punishment that far outweighs the crime.
But anyways, I don't mean to tear your story apart. My positive review is that I think it's great that you included a trans character and gave her a happy ending. I'm always a huge fan of when a transformation isn't framed as a horrible life-ruining curse.
Author's Response: Yeah I truly hate that trope, but felt that in my head Gabby is a worse person than I’d explained in the story. Not that she or anyone should be forced to do that. A big theme as I’m sure you’ve noticed while reading my stories is that I like to give folks proper punishment or rewards but I agree that I pushed too far with this one 😅.
Date: 10/17/19 04:17 am Title: The Mission
You're welcome to the idea. You're doing all the heavy lifting. I'm just sitting here avoiding all the odd jobs I should be doing right now. I figure leaving feedback is offering a small token payment for the entertainment I derive from your work.
I'm really not a fan of identity death. It's no different than if you outright killed a person then started a new story about the person that took their place.
I think it better to turn Gabe into a busty (that's a given) cheerleader who is compelled by magic to act a certain way around other people, say certain things, become insatiably horny, etc. All while they are screaming on the inside. Something about a lack of control that is a turn on.
I also think the punishment should fit the crime. Stealing some panties should not warrant a life sentence. Heck, if Gabe likes girls panties so much, then Sadie could turn him into a pair for the entire season. Or better yet, a jock strap for a football player. It's your story, you write it the way you want. Don't worry about me. Best of luck, Elron.
Author's Response: Very true! I truly appreciate the feedback Elron!
Date: 10/16/19 09:55 pm Title: Chapter 3
Nice to see Sadie help out Lucy and Seth. I don't know if it was a good punishment to turn Gabe into a mindless bimbo. Seems like it would be better to leave his mind intact but make him go through the motions of being a girl and a cheerleader.
Overall a very good story.
Author's Response: I might actually edit it to that if you’d let me snag that idea(I’ll give you credit of course/a co author credit)