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Reviewer: ZZChromosome Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 08/25/19 03:22 am Title: Chapter 5

Hmm... I recommend cyanide. In his coffee.

Reviewer: Elizabeth Rees Signed Report
Date: 08/24/19 09:52 am Title: Chapter 2

"A small layer of makeup covered her hair." That's an interesting fashion choice!

Reviewer: Lady Yuki Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 08/23/19 02:35 pm Title: Chapter 5

Well that took a rather abrupt turn. I do like the setup though and hope Nat makes it out ok.
I will say that there feels like a pacing issue with this story. I think you could stand to take it a bit slower and allow more room for imagery and description of places, things, thoughts, and feelings.

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TG Storytime uses the eFiction engine and Vanilla discussions. Design by J6P.