Date: 08/17/19 09:29 pm Title: Chapter 1 - The Attic
This is dope asl please keep writing
Author's Response: Hi ttsum48. I'm an older gal - what does dope and asl mean? Cause ASL to me means American Sign Language, and dope is something you smoke. If its what I think, and you're saying its awesome, then thanks very much! I intend to continue this tale soon! If you like this story or my other stories, please consider checking out my Patreon https://www.patreon.com/user?u=3245148
Date: 08/17/19 11:25 am Title: Chapter 1 - The Attic
I created my account just to write this review. I LOVE this story so far. I've always been a sucker for fantasy stories and this one has my interest piqued! I can't wait to see where you take it from here!
Author's Response: Wow! Thanks Ezrastus! That's really cool! I hope you enjoy it as we carry on!
Date: 08/14/19 05:19 am Title: Chapter 4 - David's Secret
Ok.. The magic ability got a lot of space and then you just shoved in that he might be trans as well. You could have spent a bit more time discussing that.
It would be awesome if being transgender gave you super powers though.
Author's Response: David's past was farked up because of the power - which is why he was sent to 'reeducation camp' - not because he was trans (that's something he's only realized recently). Don't worry - that topic will be getting a LOT more time as we progress.
Date: 08/13/19 03:04 pm Title: Chapter 1 - The Attic
Whoa, this looks like a set up for an epic story! How much do you have written already? Good luck!
Something I noticed, why does Jeff have an additional stat/point than David? Is that a typo?
Author's Response: Actually we're both wrong! I checked the math, and Jeff and David have the same stat points, but have different skill points - where they should total the same. I made an error in the value of the Hindrances. I'll correct it ASAP. If this was MARVEL, I'd give you a No-Prize, in honor of Stan Lee! David should have 1 less skill pick.
Date: 08/13/19 01:38 pm Title: Chapter 3 - The Journal
You’ve a wonderfully relaxed style of writing that grabbed me and kept me going to the end of the current chapter, this should be fun. Thank you.
Author's Response: Thanks! I do need to sometimes pick up the pace, though.
Date: 08/13/19 05:38 am Title: Chapter 3 - The Journal
Wouldn't it be extremely anticlimatic if David's secret is him wanting to be female and when they eventually get there, Jeff is the one becoming a girl...
Anyway, it's still dragging out a bit too much and there are some unnecessary details that don't help furthering the story that could be discarded.
Author's Response: Yeah, that would be messed up! David would be so jealous too! Sorry it's dragging out - They get to Mercia at the end of Chapter 5 - after that, it's all discovery and adventure.
Date: 08/12/19 10:15 pm Title: Chapter 1 - The Attic
Hi Kathryn, just read "Update"
Please please please, make sure you look after yourself first and foremost.
Author's Response: Thanks MarinaB - That's what I'm trying to do... But I'm still working on a new chapter ATM cause its taking my mind off my health.
Date: 08/12/19 06:48 am Title: Chapter 1 - The Attic
I also live in Mercia as was...., Northumbria to be exact !!...........I am looking forward to the development of this particular story.
It looks to be heading in a direction that will be filled with the desire to see what comes next with the sort of anticipation that has you holding your breath!
Author's Response: Hi MarinaB! Wow! Another Mercian! Cool! I hope you like how the story goes! It is set in the same world as "Call of the Void" and its series (also on this site)
Date: 08/12/19 05:20 am Title: Chapter 1 - The Attic
When I first read the title, I thought this was going to be based on the Birthright setting for AD&D 2nd Edition, but what you have written so far is admittedly much more interesting. These kind of “regular human enters a magical world” can be difficult to pull off, but I am eager to see how you go about it.
Author's Response: I hope the story catches hold of your imagination as we carry on! I've done a few 'portal' stories before, so I hope I can make this one fun.
Date: 08/12/19 12:05 am Title: Chapter 1 - The Attic
I'm really into the story right now and I really hope you keep going with it. You're a good writer and I enjoy reading what you've written so far (which is unfortunately better than I can say for a good chunk of the stories on this site).
Author's Response: I'll be continuing it for the forseen future... But the LitRPG aspect of the story might end up taking away from the story. I hope the story is still interesting with the anachronisms still there... Oh - in case anyone wants to know the RPG system that the boys seem to be using is based on the Savage Worlds RPG
Date: 08/11/19 09:47 am Title: Chapter 1 - The Attic
An interesting start. What will Jeff and David find through the portal?
I'd just point out that I actually live in Mercia - or what was Mercia, one of the old kingdoms that made up modern England (Wessex, Northumbria etc). Lady Godiva, the wife of Leofric, was queen of Mercia when she rode naked through the streets of Coventry and famously spied on by peeping Tom (allegedly :) )
Author's Response: Super cool! I love tidbits of history! The Mercia of my story is far different than the Mercia of Earth's history, but thanks for mentioning it!