Date: 10/13/19 02:59 am Title: Chapter 13 - Girls Afternoon Out
Another excellent saga from you. I'm glad you replied to someone else that you have a lot more pending, it would be a shame to end this story too soon after so much plot and character development. There's a lot you can still explore here.
I like that there's some TG here, a significant part of the story, but by no means all of it. I read alternate-world adventures like these disappointed if the TG/sexual part is minor or nearly irrelevant, but am very happy with complex, drawn-out epics where it's one or two of the threads.
As not-a-gamer it seems a bit weird to me that in a "real" alternate world, the characters still have HUD menus/stats/logs. But it works. I gloss over the details in the character sheets (eh) but pay attention to the quest logs. Thanks for continuing this escapist (grin) fantasy.
Author's Response: Oh gosh, this story has a ways to go... like a long ways. I like stories where the TG is part of the story too, but not the whole focus of the story. I'm glad there are others who feel the same way! :-) I hope when Rachel and Alyssa get their transformation (in about 50 days of book time) that it won't feel "done" or that there is no more story to tell with them. This was my attempt at inserting some LitRPG elements into a story and I think the light touch I've done (Concentrating on story and not game mechanics or rules hacks) is the right choice for this tale.
Date: 10/01/19 09:30 am Title: Chapter 1 - The Attic
Great job on the new chapters so far! I'm really enjoying the story ^^.
I would maybe like to see a bit more combat or like a small quest or something, that would be really cool to read.
Author's Response: Hi Leah! There is going to be a quest of sorts and some combat in a few chapters! Sorry for the long build up!
Date: 09/27/19 07:29 pm Title: Chapter 11 - Exploring the Town, Part 2
Love the story so far. Basically read to this point in the story nonstop.
Author's Response: I love it when a story grabs you and says "Read me!" It's a real compliment to hear that one of mine did that to someone else. Thank you!
Date: 09/27/19 09:55 am Title: Chapter 3 - The Journal
I'm really enjoying this so far! Excited to see how big this gets. Obviously curious about David's secrets...
Well done. I look forward to more!
Author's Response: I'm glad I've caught your attention! The story has a long way to go, so I hope you really enjoy it!
Date: 09/26/19 04:01 am Title: Chapter 11 - Exploring the Town, Part 2
I spent the entire day reading all current chapters of this, having stumbled upon it and finally deciding to read something new.
This is amazing! I can't wait to see Rachel's transformation. And, sorry Alyssa, but I'm shipping Jeff and Rachel!
Author's Response: I'm really glad you're enjoying it! I'm busy writing more! I'm glad people are picking sides in this fight!
Date: 09/24/19 06:19 pm Title: Chapter 8 - Discoveries
OMG Magick ccan lead to evil and wow this world is so interesting and ... oh no... she's already been kissed by the void, just by bending a spoon? I have a horrible feeling Rachel isn't going to be the powerful sorceress she wants to be...
Author's Response: The Magic is a bit complicated... Being kissed by the void happens when you draw too much power without a filter (like a magic word, which Rachel doesn't know yet) - but it can also happen when you draw more power than your body can withstand (like casting a spell WAY too powerful for you). The Call of Hrask happens when you cast so much magic that you exceed your personal "Safe limit" which is different for everyone - and is trainable to improve. It's possible to suffer from the Call of Hrask without Kissing the void, and vice versa, and its possible to do both simultaneously. When that happens, its a really bad thing. That being said, Rachel is destined to be a skilled caster... Her problem is she's been casting without the filter - once she gets the filter (in the form of the word Forces) she'll probably be just fine. Strength and skill will come with time and practice! Thanks for commenting, Lilchelly!
Date: 09/23/19 03:34 pm Title: Chapter 1 - The Attic
I'm loving the story so far! I'm really looking forward to seeing Rachel become more like her true self. It would be really cute to see Jeff maybe also try some of the tea and become a little more feminine himself too though😍
Author's Response: Are there a lot of readers out there who like the idea of Jeffrey becoming a girl? This isn't the first time someone has mentioned it! If interested, please leave a comment! Also, I'm really glad you're liking the story Leah. Rachel - and Alyssa - have more to explore on their journey, and Jeff has a lot of internal work to do to accept them both. I'm hoping Jeff doesn't come off like an a** sometimes too. I'll consider Jeff's situation if there is enough interest.
Date: 09/16/19 12:48 pm Title: Chapter 7 - Morning
Oh no Rachel... you got it bad girl... I'm so sorry. Maybe someday he'll come around. Just wait for now... maybe someone better for you will show up?
I love the conflict he is having with her transness and pronouns because instead of being a shitlord, he ACTUALLY tries and does his best to do what he can. Yes he's having a hard time, but at least he realizes it's a problem and is trying ot fix it. He is top tier ally!!!!!
Author's Response: Thanks for the review, Lilchelly! Rachel's secret doesn't seem to be so secret, does it? ;-) Jeff is a good guy - he really is trying! I'm glad I'm portraying it better than "instant hate" or "instant acceptance." Jeff is Rachel's best friend - and he does care for her - but whether he can eventually see her as a woman named Rachel instead of his old friend David, remains to be seen.
Date: 09/15/19 01:00 am Title: Chapter 7 - Morning
Poor Rachel, hope things get better for her sooner rather than later! Love the story and looking forward to read more:)
Author's Response: Things will get better for Rachel - but she might have a trial or two first. I'm really glad you're invested in their story. I'm having a blast writing about Mercia again.
Date: 08/25/19 07:26 pm Title: Chapter 6 - Mercia
Shot shells are great for close up varmint-killing like rattlesnakes (and giant spiders). But you have to actually aim at the target for it to work, lol.
Surprised he didn't ask Alyssa to look at his spider wound.
I'm thinking he probably should have kept his heritage a secret. Also, no surprise that the groom was delayed by someone else's skulduggery and not because he had cold feet.
Author's Response: I'm glad you're enjoying the story!
Date: 08/25/19 06:34 pm Title: Chapter 5 - The Journey Begins
Good point about spices. I've always believed that if you're going to accidentally get stranded on another world, you need to at least have packets of chile pepper and tomato seeds. That way, no matter what happens, you will always have salsa.
Author's Response: For me it would be black peppercorns, salt, and maybe vanilla beans. Spices are so cheap here, and so expensive in a world without airplanes and such that the two heroes don't have any idea of how much wealth they are carrying.
Date: 08/25/19 06:06 pm Title: Chapter 4 - David's Secret
I'm starting to wonder if there's a time differential between worlds. Is one day on the other side equal to one day on this side?
Author's Response: The Mercian day is slightly different from the Terran day - 25-ish hours vs 24 hours, and a 434 day year versus our 365 day year. As for time passing, we've seen in Call of the Void that the time passing between worlds is roughly equal - Erica was gone 1-2 months, and arrived back home at about the same time. Whether that was because the Goddess Askeline brought her to that time, or whether the worlds are on the same clock, I suppose, is yet to be determined.
Date: 08/25/19 05:43 pm Title: Chapter 3 - The Journal
I hope he defaced the coins before he sold them. As in used a hammer to smack them until they were blank. I would think that if the buyer put them up on ebay, the coins might be recognized and draw unwanted attention.
Also, three ounces of gold is worth about $5,000. So maybe someone else should handle the gold-selling next time.
Author's Response: Coins in Mercia are not always pure - the locals add tin and nickel to make the coins last longer as currency - and as such they usually take three coins to make 1oz of pure metal. Also, David sold them at scrap gold prices, and got ripped off a bit - but he figured it was better than coming to the attention of the government, which tracks sales of precious metals over 10,000$ He didn't deface them.
Date: 08/25/19 02:24 pm Title: Chapter 2 - The Trunk
Gee, I wonder what David's Secret and Quirk are? I guess we'll find out.
I like the fact that they are making plans to prepare for their adventure, rather than simply charging ahead unprepared. Especially since it seems they don't have any awesome powers or anything - at least not yet.
Author's Response: I like to think anyone with a modicum of common sense would prepare themselves before going to another world! We soon learn David's secret - but the quirk might take some time to come out...
Date: 08/23/19 01:18 pm Title: Chapter 1 - The Attic
I have to agree with the other commenters, this is a bit extreme in pushing that narrative. Out of the 1000s of stories I've read on here, this is the heaviest of all by far.
That said, this story has good potential, there are rough spots though. I'd say it's about 4 1/2 stars.
Author's Response: Hi Storylovinggamer! I'm really sorry you feel that way. Extreme situations happen to hundreds of people like David/Rachel all the time. Should we ignore them? Pretend they don't exist? The fact is it seems heavy handed and extreme because in real life, it is heavy handed and extreme by the perpetrators, with lifelong consequences for the victims. As for the gods being welcoming of trans folks in Mercia, and one of the gods being trans themselves, I make no apologies. It was a myth retold explaining how a magical ritual came to be known by mortal worshippers, not a gender studies lesson. There are other myths for many other situations in Mercia as well. As for David's sudden "I'm trans" moment, I'd like to make a comment. Coming out to someone can be hard - very scary, very very hard. Now imagine this is one of your only friends in the world, and you're terrified of rejection. Maybe David wasn't brave enough, or maybe he thought he would lose his friend? I understand you think it was heavy handed or perhaps "token" in some way, but I strongly disagree. Thank you for your kind rating, despite your unhappiness with how the story is going.
Date: 08/21/19 01:56 am Title: Chapter 1 - The Attic
...well, all of the trans stuff kind of put me off.
Its like, all of a sudden, you have one of your characters doing the entire LGBT tragic backstory, complete with torture and rape and of course, far-right wing shenanigans (of course they cannot miss the party). Then they go to another world just in time for Isekai gender studies class.
A little subtlety would have been nice.
Author's Response: Subtlety about what? An important facet of life in both worlds? The identity of a main character?
The rest of the response was removed for a violation of site policies.
Date: 08/18/19 10:08 pm Title: Chapter 1 - The Attic
I can heartily recommend becoming a patron of Kathryn's, chapter 7 is getting interesting !!
Author's Response: Thanks for the recommendation, Marina! I really appreciate it! Patrons get early access to new chapters of all the stories I'm currently writing about 4-5 days early. This includes the Guardian, Big Damn Heroes, and Birthrights at the moment.
Date: 08/17/19 09:29 pm Title: Chapter 1 - The Attic
This is dope asl please keep writing
Author's Response: Hi ttsum48. I'm an older gal - what does dope and asl mean? Cause ASL to me means American Sign Language, and dope is something you smoke. If its what I think, and you're saying its awesome, then thanks very much! I intend to continue this tale soon! If you like this story or my other stories, please consider checking out my Patreon https://www.patreon.com/user?u=3245148
Date: 08/17/19 11:25 am Title: Chapter 1 - The Attic
I created my account just to write this review. I LOVE this story so far. I've always been a sucker for fantasy stories and this one has my interest piqued! I can't wait to see where you take it from here!
Author's Response: Wow! Thanks Ezrastus! That's really cool! I hope you enjoy it as we carry on!
Date: 08/14/19 05:19 am Title: Chapter 4 - David's Secret
Ok.. The magic ability got a lot of space and then you just shoved in that he might be trans as well. You could have spent a bit more time discussing that.
It would be awesome if being transgender gave you super powers though.
Author's Response: David's past was farked up because of the power - which is why he was sent to 'reeducation camp' - not because he was trans (that's something he's only realized recently). Don't worry - that topic will be getting a LOT more time as we progress.
Date: 08/13/19 03:04 pm Title: Chapter 1 - The Attic
Whoa, this looks like a set up for an epic story! How much do you have written already? Good luck!
Something I noticed, why does Jeff have an additional stat/point than David? Is that a typo?
Author's Response: Actually we're both wrong! I checked the math, and Jeff and David have the same stat points, but have different skill points - where they should total the same. I made an error in the value of the Hindrances. I'll correct it ASAP. If this was MARVEL, I'd give you a No-Prize, in honor of Stan Lee! David should have 1 less skill pick.
Date: 08/13/19 01:38 pm Title: Chapter 3 - The Journal
You’ve a wonderfully relaxed style of writing that grabbed me and kept me going to the end of the current chapter, this should be fun. Thank you.
Author's Response: Thanks! I do need to sometimes pick up the pace, though.
Date: 08/13/19 05:38 am Title: Chapter 3 - The Journal
Wouldn't it be extremely anticlimatic if David's secret is him wanting to be female and when they eventually get there, Jeff is the one becoming a girl...
Anyway, it's still dragging out a bit too much and there are some unnecessary details that don't help furthering the story that could be discarded.
Author's Response: Yeah, that would be messed up! David would be so jealous too! Sorry it's dragging out - They get to Mercia at the end of Chapter 5 - after that, it's all discovery and adventure.
Date: 08/12/19 10:15 pm Title: Chapter 1 - The Attic
Hi Kathryn, just read "Update"
Please please please, make sure you look after yourself first and foremost.
Author's Response: Thanks MarinaB - That's what I'm trying to do... But I'm still working on a new chapter ATM cause its taking my mind off my health.
Date: 08/12/19 06:48 am Title: Chapter 1 - The Attic
I also live in Mercia as was...., Northumbria to be exact !!...........I am looking forward to the development of this particular story.
It looks to be heading in a direction that will be filled with the desire to see what comes next with the sort of anticipation that has you holding your breath!
Author's Response: Hi MarinaB! Wow! Another Mercian! Cool! I hope you like how the story goes! It is set in the same world as "Call of the Void" and its series (also on this site)
Date: 08/12/19 05:20 am Title: Chapter 1 - The Attic
When I first read the title, I thought this was going to be based on the Birthright setting for AD&D 2nd Edition, but what you have written so far is admittedly much more interesting. These kind of “regular human enters a magical world” can be difficult to pull off, but I am eager to see how you go about it.
Author's Response: I hope the story catches hold of your imagination as we carry on! I've done a few 'portal' stories before, so I hope I can make this one fun.
Date: 08/12/19 12:05 am Title: Chapter 1 - The Attic
I'm really into the story right now and I really hope you keep going with it. You're a good writer and I enjoy reading what you've written so far (which is unfortunately better than I can say for a good chunk of the stories on this site).
Author's Response: I'll be continuing it for the forseen future... But the LitRPG aspect of the story might end up taking away from the story. I hope the story is still interesting with the anachronisms still there... Oh - in case anyone wants to know the RPG system that the boys seem to be using is based on the Savage Worlds RPG
Date: 08/11/19 09:47 am Title: Chapter 1 - The Attic
An interesting start. What will Jeff and David find through the portal?
I'd just point out that I actually live in Mercia - or what was Mercia, one of the old kingdoms that made up modern England (Wessex, Northumbria etc). Lady Godiva, the wife of Leofric, was queen of Mercia when she rode naked through the streets of Coventry and famously spied on by peeping Tom (allegedly :) )
Author's Response: Super cool! I love tidbits of history! The Mercia of my story is far different than the Mercia of Earth's history, but thanks for mentioning it!