Date: 11/18/19 11:26 am Title: Chango
Listen, Cassie, I didn't come here to read a story about somebody feeling trapped and victimised by their own disgusting body. I came here to read a story about a closeted trans girl. Oh, wait. I get it now.
Honestly girl you are slaying with the metaphors. Queer people being called "Demons", followed by the revelation that actually Demons are actually totally nice and have just been victimised unfairly by society because of bigotry. Sarah being tormented by a voice in her head telling her that she's trans, and, again, learning that this voice is not the enemy. This shit's deep! And relatable!
Also that fight scene was really scary and visceral and gross. Genuinely couldn't handle it, I had to take a break for a bit haha.
The one thing I struggle with is when Lucy speaks in Scarlet's head. Might be a little easier to read if you used italics instead of 's? Dunno. Anyway keep it up!!
Author's Response: I'm so glad you've been liking the story so far! I'm really glad that all the stuff I was trying to get out there is landing~ I felt like I was fumbling a bit with the different things everything was meant to communicate, so I'm very happy to hear that you're enjoying it c: As for the one thing, I do know that it's difficult to tell at a glance when it's Lucy speaking. My original plan was to have all her thoughts come out bold or in italics or somethin'. What made me go with this however is that I wanted Scarlett to have to actively focus on when her thoughts are hers and when they're Lucy's, and struggle with her thoughts basically being interrupted at any time mid flow. I figured treating the narration as if they're Scarlett's thoughts that Lucy could show in at any time instead of treating her dialog with the same rules as other characters would help get that across. It may end up being a mistake down the line but, like, hey! If it is I can always just go ahead and re-do it later~ Nothing on the internet is permanent :v
Date: 11/08/19 12:05 pm Title: Gut Feeling / (Slap Your Mammy)
Oh my god when you referenced all those tg webcomics I almost screamed. The Wotch! Abstract Gender! Valkyrie Yuuki! Misfile, which I kept reading for ages despite having zero interest in cars! Fricken El Goonish Shive! I had totally buried those in my memory. I feel so called out.
Date: 08/07/19 04:16 am Title: Praying Hands
I was interested in this story before. The development of the characters feels genuine and I am relating to them in a way that makes their struggle impact me emotionally. The discovery of Scarlet was a beautiful moment, the kiss made me cheer, and the scene with Scarlet's mother was nothing short of gutwrenching.
After the end of this chapter however, I'm REALLY interested. I must have more of this story because I need to know what the hell is going on.
Date: 08/05/19 11:19 am Title: Praying Hands
Name chosen after finally seeing yourself in the mirror, then combined with being kicked out by parents and completely cut off, followed by seeing your friend doing a weird demonic ritual that makes me concerned about the specific cut she did (like is it the caesarian cut I'm imagining or something else?), finally explaining the name of the story by including a demonic power?
Now I'm wondering if Sarah transitioned using demon magic instead of HRT.
Date: 07/19/19 04:55 pm Title: Smart Patrol / Mr. DNA
Well that's a big massive thinking emoji on the chapter title, specifically the Mr-DNA part. God his Gothic Lolita series is just a delight to read. And so was this chapter! I really like Sarah slowly helping Lia figure stuff out. But also fuuuuuuck Lia's parents big time.
Author's Response: I know he at least has good taste in music! ;v
Date: 07/16/19 06:26 pm Title: Gut Feeling / (Slap Your Mammy)
Gosh this chapter just a delight but also very concerning over parents. Thank you for it Cassie! Als god after mentioning the fucking COGIATI I thought the chat room would be "Laura's Playground" or something like that.
Author's Response: I had half a mind to do that one too :v Or maybe Susan's Place~
Date: 07/15/19 06:30 pm Title: Girl U Want
Aye, this is a good start. I'm seeing the good to bad tag and that's making me wonder where this story is going.
There's a few grammatical mistakes, like missing line breaks when the speaking character changes, but nothing that won't get corrected with a pinch of feedback~
Date: 07/15/19 04:07 am Title: Girl U Want
I love the content, the dialogue is nice, the pacing feels right, my only issue is the problem's with the apostrophes and quotes. If not for those, I'd have given a full five. Also, I really want to read more of this! Please post more once you have it! Thank you for the good story!