Date: 08/13/19 08:11 am Title: Praying Hands
First off, what the she-devil was that chapter ending? 0.0 I mean, at first glance, this book seemed like a prototypical small town love story, with trans/"egg" stuff and Perkinsian parents thrown in. Not nearly as saccharine as that description implies, but yeah.
And then... that. I was keeping notes throughout the story on what I wanted to say in this review, but that one little paragraph at the end completely changed that. I was going to talk about how Liam and Sarah had excellent chemistry, and that their interactions were the highlights of the story so far, but I have no idea what is going to happen to that chemistry now and that is an amazing thing. Furthermore, I love the juxtaposition of Sarah's ritual with Ma's emotionally-bankrupt description of Liam (?) as a "demon".
In terms of the little things, I think you did really well. Your writing style is great, and it fits the tone of your writing really well. The pacing is a tad fast, but not too much so, and the two main characters just have a voice to them; Liam's valley girl vocalizations were especially a nice touch. I was going to add as well that the supporting cast (Liam's parents especially) seemed a bit shallow in characterization near the beginning, but again, I think everything has been changed up with that ending. What are they, really?
I hurt so much for Liam. Aaaaa :L
Date: 08/07/19 04:16 am Title: Praying Hands
I was interested in this story before. The development of the characters feels genuine and I am relating to them in a way that makes their struggle impact me emotionally. The discovery of Scarlet was a beautiful moment, the kiss made me cheer, and the scene with Scarlet's mother was nothing short of gutwrenching.
After the end of this chapter however, I'm REALLY interested. I must have more of this story because I need to know what the hell is going on.
Date: 08/05/19 11:19 am Title: Praying Hands
Name chosen after finally seeing yourself in the mirror, then combined with being kicked out by parents and completely cut off, followed by seeing your friend doing a weird demonic ritual that makes me concerned about the specific cut she did (like is it the caesarian cut I'm imagining or something else?), finally explaining the name of the story by including a demonic power?
Now I'm wondering if Sarah transitioned using demon magic instead of HRT.
Date: 07/19/19 04:55 pm Title: Smart Patrol / Mr. DNA
Well that's a big massive thinking emoji on the chapter title, specifically the Mr-DNA part. God his Gothic Lolita series is just a delight to read. And so was this chapter! I really like Sarah slowly helping Lia figure stuff out. But also fuuuuuuck Lia's parents big time.
Author's Response: I know he at least has good taste in music! ;v
Date: 07/16/19 06:26 pm Title: Gut Feeling / (Slap Your Mammy)
Gosh this chapter just a delight but also very concerning over parents. Thank you for it Cassie! Als god after mentioning the fucking COGIATI I thought the chat room would be "Laura's Playground" or something like that.
Author's Response: I had half a mind to do that one too :v Or maybe Susan's Place~
Date: 07/15/19 06:30 pm Title: Girl U Want
Aye, this is a good start. I'm seeing the good to bad tag and that's making me wonder where this story is going.
There's a few grammatical mistakes, like missing line breaks when the speaking character changes, but nothing that won't get corrected with a pinch of feedback~
Date: 07/15/19 04:07 am Title: Girl U Want
I love the content, the dialogue is nice, the pacing feels right, my only issue is the problem's with the apostrophes and quotes. If not for those, I'd have given a full five. Also, I really want to read more of this! Please post more once you have it! Thank you for the good story!