Date: 07/31/19 10:54 pm Title: Wand in Hand
That was heartwarming and exciting in the right proportions. I love how Daisy's mom is so completely unimpressed with Potato Bun's bullshit.
I can't give it five stars because of the number of grammar and puctuation issues, though. Study up on how to format dialogue in prose fiction, and try to use fewer and more well-chosen sentence fragments. When you see a setence fragment in a professsionally published book, think about what *kind* of sentence fragment it is -- noun phrase, prepositional phrase, dependent clause of some sort? -- and why it's being used that way.
If you'd like help proofreading your work, let me know via the "Contact" button on my author page. (Assuming that feature still works with all the problems the site's having lately...)
I look forward to reading more of your work.