Date: 08/11/19 08:55 pm Title: Chapter 18 - A Night Out with Eddie
What!?! Tale for another time?? What about for THIS TIME! Jeeze what's so bad about throwing in a few naughty bits? ;-). Otherwise I'm having a good time so far and getting drawn in. You could use a bit of editing when things get a bit long and the changes back and forth between first person and third person, but I'm not a big stickler when it comes to "The elements of style" (great little book on proper writing btw if you're interested)
Author's Response: Hi Lailaluvs00! I have no problem throwing naughty bits in - which you'll see in the next chapter. Thanks for the heads up on first and third person. I'm getting better at that each day. I love Strunk and White's Elements of style! Thank you!
Date: 07/04/19 04:04 am Title: Chapter 14 - Pepsi's Short Lived Adventure
Just amazing and wow chapter. So happy that she can fly and everything seems so exciting. Thank you so much and hugs.
Author's Response: I'm really glad you're enjoying the story! I hope you enjoy the upcoming chapters!
Date: 07/02/19 06:40 am Title: Chapter 13 - All Fall Down
I like that Pepsi has powers too, no one else has mentioned that animals might have been affected by the Emergence
Author's Response: Animals cannot be affected by the Emergence... Pepsi has a power (to understand human speech) because he was affected by another Emerged's power without Karen being aware of it. It will eventually come out in the story - but I have to mention the Emergence doesn't affect animals because its a major sticking point in Vale's Kammi-Verse world. So, in short, Yes Pepsi is awesome - but he was not affected by the Emergence.
Date: 06/30/19 04:24 am Title: Chapter 13 - All Fall Down
Absolutely stunning work and loved every bit of it. Pepsi is so cute and I wonder what she will do to Jessica once she finds her hehe. Some clawing and scratches are in order for her and I hope she didn't get hurt in the process. Thank you so much for your hardwork and sharing this with us. Hugs
Author's Response: Thanks Sanro! I liked writing about Pepsi - and if Jessica is smart, she'll be wary of the little kitty. It's been literally a great time telling this story and I love hearing from all of you about how it makes you feel! Thank you so much for sharing and letting this story touch you! I only hope my other stories do the same!
Date: 06/26/19 03:22 am Title: Chapter 12 - New Friends
Wah. That cliffhanger. Now really looking forward to next chapter. But tell me how did Jessica know it was exactly '12' people? I don't think Karen knew it herself.
Author's Response: Jessica was just being a b****, and Karen had the number 12 in her head. To be honest, she isn't exactly sure at the number of dead, and she's scared to try and find out. Karen is ashamed she hurt people, even accidentally - and Jessica just wanted to p*** her off and hurt her.
Date: 06/26/19 12:18 am Title: Chapter 1 - Work Blues
I wasn't thinking of Jessica as a horrible person, just as a normal teenager - carelessly cruel, lashing out at others because of her own emotional pain that she doesn't know how to handle in a non-destructive manner. I have a 16-yr-old daughter and this just seems totally within the teen norm of how they treat each other. My daughter comes into my office at least once a week to share the drama from her Discord channel and it's just so unfortunately commonplace that they act that way.
Also, since Karen didn't grow up as a female, she's not prepared for how teen girls treat each other and she'll need a friend to take her by the hand and emotionally nurture/counsel her a bit here. Fortunately, she has one across the hall who seems nice. And as a current teenager, Krissie will be able to provide really good advice. Maybe she'll share some of her plushies. And Pepsi will help out, too, I'm sure of it.
Author's Response: Thanks for your analysis - It's really helpful. Never having lived with a Teenage girl and the drama involved, your advice is both timely and helpful! Karen definitely doesn't have experience with Teenage girls - so Krissie could be a really big help, you're right. Thank you for the idea, really!
Date: 06/26/19 12:10 am Title: Chapter 1 - Work Blues
Hmm... I think cats make better emotional support animals than mascots. Maybe Pepsi's superpower is that he's especially snuggly when someone is feeling blue, or homesick, or PTSD'd?
Author's Response: Actually Pepsi's superpowers will become apparent fairly soon... (muhahahaha!) He'd be a great emotional support animal!
Date: 06/25/19 09:42 pm Title: Chapter 12 - New Friends
Oh no !!! where do we go from here Karen?? nail biting stuff indeed !!
Purse of holding? from somewhere in the back of my mind conjures up a picture of Sport Billy and his magic holdall bag.............you might have to google that one xx
I love the cliff hanger, just when we thought our glamorous protag was going to settle in seamlessly, the sh1t is about to hit the fan!!!
I love this story Kathryn, and the latest instalment does not disappoint xx
Author's Response: Thanks Marina! I'm hoping to develop many of the characters on the MRT in time, and I will definitely look up Sport Billy and his magic holdall bag. I'm really glad you love the story!
Date: 06/25/19 08:41 pm Title: Chapter 12 - New Friends
Wow! That ended badly! What a brutal chapter! And everything was going so nicely, too.
Author's Response: It did end rather brutally - but I hope in time we'll be able to see Jessica isn't as horrible as she seems? Maybe, Maybe not. Hopefully Karen will come through this - but I imagine it was rather shocking for her new friends to hear - and for her to be put in that situation. I promise to try and not leave everyone hanging too long. Next chapter will be soonish... Sorry for the cliffhanger!
Date: 06/25/19 03:34 am Title: Chapter 11 - The MRT
Hope Pepsi adjusts to new surroundings and I loved how Karen got introduced to everyone. Ben seems like a helping guy. Thank you so much for sharing and waiting for more.
Author's Response: Pepsi will be fine - she's an adaptable little kitty. Ben is pretty helpful. I'm glad you're liking the story. Is there any plot or encounters you'd like to see? Eventually the heroes are going to go up against some bad guys and the floor is open to suggestions!
Date: 06/23/19 11:54 am Title: Chapter 11 - The MRT
Neat, it will be interesting to learn what the various members of the new superhero team can do. Perhaps the catboy will get along well with Pepsi?
Author's Response: Well, Jimmy doesn't know it yet but he can speak with cats, as can Michael the Tiger man. I'm wondering if Pepsi will become the unofficial team mascot? Opinions?
Date: 06/22/19 04:17 am Title: Chapter 10 - Decisions
I am so happy for her that she decided to join the force and everyone supported her. Really excited to meet her team of Meta humans and hope she gels well with them. If she had to leave Pepsi behind then I would have been really upset. Thank you so much for sharing this and this was stellar work.
Author's Response: I'm glad you liked it! Thanks for supporting my writing with fun comments. Its reviews and comments that keep me inspired!
Date: 06/21/19 11:43 pm Title: Chapter 10 - Decisions
I am really and truly enjoying this story; along with most of the other Kammiverse stores. I hate to mention it, but it looks like the CSIS has redacted all of chapter 11.... I wonder why. 8)
Author's Response: It seems to be working at the moment - Joe fixed it this morning. Woot!
Date: 06/21/19 09:31 pm Title: Chapter 10 - Decisions
Thus ends the intro sequence. Looking forward to her military training. I'm sure she'll do fine. Do you have a military background?
I wonder what will happen when she reveals her eye-laser power to her superiors. Hopefully she won't get in any trouble for her initial Emergence outburst that wrecked her office building.
Also, loved the "comic book logic" reference.
Author's Response: I was in the Air cadets and nearly went to military college, my chosen dad was in the Army, and so was his dad. That event with the Eye lasers may eventually come back to haunt her. I'm really glad you're liking the story! I figured the 'comic book logic' comment made sense, since it seems everyone's now in a comic book world... or is it. Is it really a comic book world that accepts heroes - or does it just seem that way?
Date: 06/19/19 08:47 pm Title: Chapter 1 - Work Blues
Sorry about my seeming flippant remarks earlier Kathryn, I certainly didn't mean to offend or demean when discussing the amount of money Karen needed to change her ID.
I'm simply blown away by not only this story, the Emergence and the entire series set in the Kammiverse, but also very envious of the girls who've had their dreams realised in such a way.
What I meant with my off the cuff remark, was simple, I would have loved to have been in Karen's place, and not stuck in a form which I've hated for as long as I can remember
Author's Response: Hi Marina! I would love to be in her position too! The Kammiverse has a lot of stories that have a lot of people getting their hearts desire - and that's awesome. But sometimes, reading about other people getting their hearts desire - while we do not - can hurt in a way that most people cannot understand. I feel you there. As for the bras, you often get what you pay for and the ones for large breasted women that are cheap, are well, cheap and don't work well. Thus the 100$ each (and that's Canadian - which would be far less in pounds or USD) Thanks for reading - and I'm glad we're exceeding your expectations!
Date: 06/18/19 08:26 pm Title: Chapter 1 - Work Blues
Tell you what, you can diss Trump all you want. As a person, he is a toxic, evil clown. We knew that when we voted for him. I have no doubt that if the Emergence happened today, he would say all sorts of insane and vicious things on Twitter. And I have no doubt that random jerks (and even gangs of random jerks) would act on those rantings before they got slapped down and put in jail.
But any claims of 'creeping fascism' are kind of silly. Trump has very little impact on the way we actually run things around here. The system of democratic checks and balances itself is quite sound. I understand that, as a foreigner, your perspective is colored by the hysterical op-eds you see in the press. That happens. Barack Obama, of all people, had the same accusations made against him. It is my opinion that the 'creeping fascism' accusations against Obama and Trump had the same level of merit - basically none. (On a side note, one of my uncles asserted to me that BO was 'destroying America'. I laughed at him. I'm sure that was rude of me, but oh well.)
Would Trump become a fascist dictator if he could? Most likely. But would we allow it? Not hardly. American citizens are heavily armed, as we REALLY don't like fascism or any other type of dictatorship.
Author's Response: Fair enough! I am a foreigner and I am only hearing the echo chamber of what's on TV, so I'll defer to your opinion. Thank you for your well reasoned explanation and your insights! I'll tone down the rhetoric in future chapters, if that helps.
Date: 06/18/19 12:58 am Title: Chapter 9 - Identity
The anti-US political stuff was unnecessary and not cool.
Author's Response: On the contrary, if we see signs of fascism creeping into society, we should point them out, in my opinion. That being said, I firmly believe in the inherent goodness of the United States of America, and see its current situation as something that will be rectified soon. The chapter was not intended as a dig at the US in general - it was a dig at its current administration, and the disastrous changes to how the government is being run under it. It was also a message that exalts the USA - if fascism can happen in the USA (Where it would virtually be impossible to consider) - then it can happen anywhere. If anything, IMO it was a dig at Canada and foreshadowing of what be coming to fruition in later chapters. If you'd like to discuss the topic or my opinion, I'd love to talk further. Again, I had no intention of dissing the USA - but I'm sorry it came off as such.
Date: 06/17/19 09:42 pm Title: Chapter 9 - Identity
Oh, to be as lucky as Karen.......sighs...at least it's only $600 to sort out a new I.D. keeping it real with the huge queues in the government department of "computer says no" !!!
Author's Response: Karen may seem lucky at the moment, but her life until now has been truly awful. Some people have wondered how she could afford 600$ to pay the fee, and 500$ for bras in the previous chapters - and I'd like to address that. Most people are assumed to have two months salary socked away for disasters - even though the vast majority dont. Kevin/Karen has been through so much hell, she tries to keep that buffer of emergency money as a matter of course - and that is the money she would be using to buy her wardrobe, her ID, and so forth. Once its gone, its gone, and she'll be in DEEP trouble.
Date: 06/15/19 05:50 am Title: Chapter 1 - Work Blues
Yeah, had a fire drill at my office building once. Had about six or eight firemen in the atrium of our building. It was a huge atrium 3 stories tall and they absolutely filled it with an eye-watering stench just walking through it because they had just come from a house fire.
Author's Response: Good to know! Thanks for the info on house fires being so incredibly stinky. And thanks for being a reader!
Date: 06/14/19 11:23 pm Title: Chapter 1 - Work Blues
I loved the latest chapter Kathryn, I really look forwards to seeing where Karen takes her life next. Also Eddie is such a great dude. :D
I'm not sure what criticism I can give considering your notable amount of experience. Keep it up! ^_^
Author's Response: Thank you Rare! I'm always open to suggestions and ideas. Is there something you want to see in the story? Let me know! Eddie and Shelly are awesome friends.
Date: 06/14/19 05:32 pm Title: Chapter 8 - Interlude
Fun chapter, but gosh the heavy hitters at the end. I figured Karen had divorced her wife, not that she was a widow! Shelly's reactions are also fun.
Author's Response: Yeah... Karen's life until recently has been pretty awful, with disaster after disaster - maybe now that The Emergence has happened, she can find some happiness?
Date: 06/14/19 04:17 pm Title: Chapter 3 - Chaos
Thank to write this story, Kathryn
The way you write your story, and the number of detail you give about the character is just the work of a goddess, good work!
I'm gonna read the rest of it later before going to sleep to help me relax ;3
Author's Response: Thanks Luna! I'm glad you like it! And thank you for the nice compliment!
Date: 06/14/19 03:57 am Title: Chapter 7 - Discoveries
Just wow. I am so happy about the announcement by prime minister and if she joins police she will be so cool. I liked how Pepsi snuggled up to her and it is a known fact that pets will recognise you no matter what even by your behaviour. Thank you so much for sharing and hugs
Author's Response: Thanks Sanro. Animals just know their owners - their people. They can tell. I'm really happy with the response Pepsi has gotten from the readership too. The prime minister in my story is pretty damn cool - I just hope the one in the real world would be as awesome if a disaster happened in real life.
Date: 06/09/19 03:04 am Title: Chapter 6 - Respite
Some stories are full of conflict, suffering, confusion, and pain. That's OK, but I'm glad this isn't one of them! Sometimes you just want to see someone get their wish granted, hey superpowers too (unfortunately but realistically destructive at first), and turn into a helpful hero. Plus you're writing the plot and dialogue just so well, easy and entertaining to follow along, a good but not overwhelming amount of detail. Thank you! More please.
Author's Response: I'm really glad you're enjoying this tale!
Date: 06/08/19 09:35 pm Title: Chapter 6 - Respite
"I thought about it – but I didn’t want to sleep in my stinky clothes." Great catch. Smoke from house fires - which our heroine has been walking through - is very, very stinky. It reeks, it is foul, it is vile, it is extremely difficult to remove. So she really should have noticed this earlier. And I wouldn't have wanted her on my couch. If she had showed up at my door, it would have been "Straight to the shower, Missy, I'll wash these clothes while you get the smoke stench off of your smooth, supple skin and out of your luscious hair." (Okay, maybe not phrased quite like that.)
I dunno about the rest of you guys, but I'm already hearing wedding bells. I think Eddie's a prince.
Author's Response: Wedding bells? WOW - that's moving a little fast, isn't it? I'm not denying they make a cute couple or that they don't seem to have some attraction, but wow! LOL You're right about the stink - I hope I caught enough of it, but still maybe I needed to emphasize it more. Thanks ZZ. Eddie's Awesome.
Date: 06/08/19 04:10 am Title: Chapter 6 - Respite
Omg just wow. This was so incredible and I really like the way you designed her character. Just don't rush in the love and romance department too soon and let her settle with everything. Thank you so much for your hardwork and sharing this with us. Hugs
Author's Response: Thanks Sanro! I'm glad you're really liking Karen, and I don't plan on having her jump into things. One thing she learned from her failed marriage is to take things slow and make sure you're not making another mistake... Her previous relationship was pretty dark and grim. She Does NOT want a repeat!
Date: 06/03/19 05:20 pm Title: Chapter 4 - Trial by Fire
Things are really starting to pick up. Loved the action scenes.
Author's Response: Thanks ZZChromosome for the compliments. There will be plenty more action scenes in the future - but for now, Karen will be trying to save as many people as she can. She's going to let the police deal with looters and rioters - unless they have metahuman powers.
Date: 06/03/19 02:26 pm Title: Chapter 1 - Work Blues
How fun! You have great prose for writing action. It's enjoyable and goes at a wonderful pace without feeling rushed.
Author's Response: Thanks, Rylune. I'm glad the combat and action seems well paced. Its surprisingly hard to write well!
Date: 06/01/19 06:27 am Title: Chapter 1 - Work Blues
Story is really fun so far. I love how good your writing is. I find it really easy to visualise what's going on in my imagination. I'm honoured that you chose to write in my universe!
Author's Response: That means a lot coming from you, Rosilys! Thank you very much - I hope I do you proud!
Date: 05/31/19 07:49 am Title: Chapter 3 - Chaos
So he turned into supergirl, but no flight? Or just not yet? Excellent stuff so far, will follow 😁
Author's Response: Well, the Premise of part of the story is "What would the real world do if a Superman (or Woman) was real?" - because governments would go crazy worrying if the superperson was a threat, and so forth, even if they were trying to be a hero. Karen will develop the ability to fly - but probably not right away. She's just got her senses and super strength "sort of controlled" - so that she doesn't cannonball into things by accident... Flying like a missile with no idea how to steer - or stop - might be a bad idea?
Date: 05/31/19 01:34 am Title: Chapter 3 - Chaos
she seems to have quite an array of powers to pick from, and since she set on being a hero I hope she finds another hero or heroin to back her up when she needs more able hands
Author's Response: We soon find she does have a large array of powers - but the problem with that much power is that it causes complications all on its own. There are powerful people who have a vested interest in controlling power - and they cannot concieve of someone who possesses that power not using it. What do you think if Superman appeared in our world, without 75 years of comic history and folklore to back him up... He'd be sued at the very least, sought by authorities as a vigilante and worse. I think there would be very little adoration from the government - but from the people, that's a different story.
Date: 05/29/19 03:54 am Title: Chapter 2 - Changes
Just amazing chapter and this transformation is to the point which I like a lot. Thank you so much for your hardwork and sharing. Hugs
Author's Response: Thanks Sanro for the compliments. It has been hard work - not just writing, but in fitting my story into someone else's universe without wrecking their continuity - it takes some bookkeeping and paperwork skills to keep all the dates/places/times straight. Still its a blast. Thanks to Valerie for allowing me to write in her universe.
Date: 05/28/19 03:59 pm Title: Chapter 1 - Work Blues
Excellent story but there are lot of shift between first person pov to third person pov like I to he. It was distracting. But enjoyed the story because the flow was good. :)
Author's Response: I recently changed and edited part one so that a lot of the POV problems were cleared up. Let me know if it sounds better on a re read!
Date: 05/28/19 02:44 pm Title: Chapter 2 - Changes
Nice chapter, love the fact that the cats name is pepsi, thats pretty adorable. Cant wait to see the changes that have happen in the next chapter
Author's Response: Thanks! I like the name Pepsi too. I hope the future chapters don't disappoint you!
Date: 05/28/19 01:27 pm Title: Chapter 1 - Work Blues
Initially, he seemed like a guy in his late 20's because he discusses regrets from dropping out of college, he still hasn't paid off his student loans, he hasn't started a meaningful career yet, he still has emotional issues from his childhood, etc. This is all stuff that people generally work their way through during their 20's. For example, I finally laid my childhood emotional traumas to rest around age 30.
Then you told us he is 45 and had been married for 15 years at some point. Basically, you're describing him as an immature man-child whose life is overshadowed by unresolved childhood issues that are preventing him from maturing. I'm glad he has an emotionally-supportive friend to help him out, that's really great.
This isn't a criticism of your story-telling skills - far from it - it's just my take on your main character. Anyway, I'm rooting for him and look forward to seeing how he develops as a person. I really like these TF/superhero stories, so I'm definitely going to follow you and read the rest of it.
Author's Response: Gotcha, and thanks for the reasoning ZZ. The Main Character isn't really a man-child (I hope); he's had a failed marriage with a toxic person, and so much trauma that he can barely function. He has regrets - yes - about many things. Either way, I hope Kevin matures a great deal in the coming pages, and I hope he continues to hold your interest. Thanks for commenting!
Date: 05/28/19 11:26 am Title: Chapter 1 - Work Blues
You're switching between first and second person a lot. It's not a story-killer, but it is distracting. Also, the first few paragraphs make him seem like a guy in his late 20's, but then you pegged his age at 45, which was also distracting.
No rating yet - I'm going to track this story and find out what happens next.
Author's Response: Hi ZZ - its nice to hear from you! I've edited the perspective shifting - thank you for pointing that out - and I'm glad the mixup didn't turn you off of the story. May I ask what made you think Kevin was in his late 20's? Just curious. Hopefully from here on out the Perspective will be a non-issue.
Date: 05/28/19 06:58 am Title: Chapter 1 - Work Blues
An excellent start, and the main character really resonates with my own issues, followed and favorited 😁😁
Author's Response: Thank you Kagato - I'm glad the MC appeals to you. I hope the rest of the story does too!
Date: 05/27/19 04:46 pm Title: Chapter 1 - Work Blues
That was a very good first chapter, there was a few things I can relate to like the views on suicide. Also Eddie is a very good friend to have, wish everyone had one like that.
Author's Response: I'm glad my story touched you, but I'm not glad you can relate to suicide. I've been there more than once, too, and its a sad and lonely place. I wish you the best, and hope that one day someone or something will be the light at the end of your tunnel. No Darkness lasts forever. Eddie is awesome... And I am blessed to have a friend like that in this life. I am thankful for it every day. I hope you find someone too, if you haven't already!
Date: 05/27/19 04:20 pm Title: Chapter 1 - Work Blues
That was a great start! I can't wait to see where things go!
Author's Response: Thanks Kara. I hope it goes places interesting to you. I hope to insert some politics and a wider view of the Kammiverse world if the Owner of the Verse will allow it. I'm also looking at exploring what to do when a person is given powers - and actually thinks about the impact of it. It would affect almost every aspect of their life, for at least a little while. At least until some big decisions are made. I think it will be fun.