Date: 07/07/20 02:55 am Title: Part 22
I'm not going to give this chapter a score or anything, because I still LOVE the story, but I simply wanted to point something out to you: you are completely bunging up the concept of the lisp.
A lisp ONLY happens, no matter WHAT its cause, when a sibilant (the "esss" sound) is followed IMMEDIATELY by a hard consonant. So "lisp" would be pronounced "lithp" and "task" would likely be pronounced "tathk," but "sissy" or "asshole," for example, would not change. At all.
This is really becoming annoying, because you get it wrong about ninety percent of the time.
That said, I love this story and I can't wait for the next chapter. Actually, what I REALLY can't wait for is when Marcy cums from her first anal experience. I mean, I suppose she's already had her first sissygasm, but cumming from being f**ked in the ass has GOT to be a humiliation almost beyond bearing ...
And shit, I gave you a 5 rating again, didn't I? Yeah, I did ... ;)
Author's Response: Hello, As far as the lisp go I get what you mean. I didn't really do any research to lisps so my bad. I just kind of wrote the "S" as a "TH" every time. It's annoying to read though as I've taken from feedback and it's annoying to write as well so in upcoming Parts I will most likely leave the lisp out and just type normally making notice that it was made with a terrible lisp. One thing is for sure, there are many more parts coming, At the moment it's already on part 27 on my Patreon. Anyways, thank you for the compliments and have a nice day. Kind regards, Fibaro
Date: 11/07/19 10:21 pm Title: Part 14
This story just keeps getting better and better with every chapter. Lisa has become an incredibly controlling, dominant beeyotch, and you've somehow managed to shift my sympathies from Marcy, the obvious victim in this story, to her. I love it, and I can't wait for the next chapter in Marcy's sissification.
Oh, and changing Marcy's pronoun from him/his to her/hers was a completely appropriate choice. Thanks!
Author's Response: Thank you very much, There certainly is a lot more coming for this one even if it's slow in updating. My appologies for that. I just wanted to set a schedule instead of posting random updates whenever. Since I have two stories running (One non TG one) I decided to do one update for each every month.
Date: 10/23/19 05:50 am Title: Part 13
This continues to be an AMAZING story. The only (extremely minor) complaint I could express is that our protagonist/victim ONLY EVER seems to meet people interested in sissifying him/her. Not only is this unrealistic, it also ignores a LOAD of storytelling opportunities.
For example, Mark's/Marcy's skateboarding friends should eventually start wondering why (s)he isn't showing up at the skate park. This should not only create a storytelling opportunity in deception for our protagonist, it could offer multiple multiple paths to further sissification. If, for instance, he was to be found out by a sympathetic character, it would provide further avenues for submission (female NPC) or feminization (male NPC). After all, if Mark decides to suck some sympathetic guy's cock, it will obviously make him more gay, and if he decides to submit to some (sympathetic) girl's demands that he lick her pussy, it should absolutely make him more submissive,
And if the person(s) who discover him are NOT sympathetic, then you would have another lever to make him more feminine, more submissive, or both. But I really think you're missing out on an opportunity to create a willing path for Mark/Marcy to explore some submissive or gay ... tendencies.
And really, turning Mark/Marcy into a submissive sissy faggot is what we all want, isn't it?
Anyway, I LOVE the story so far and will continue to follow it ... because, FUCK, IT'S HOT ...
Author's Response: Hello, First of all I am so glad to hear how you love my story. It really means a lot to me. In time I might introduce a character like you described, no promises though. Lisa kind of has feigned sympathy for Marcy she wants to try and keep up the appearance that she only wants what's best for him. Even if she's kind of bad at remaining nice. I realised some aspects in my story aren't realistic. My other story is even build around an unrealistic element. The fun thing about writing stories is that their fiction so despite trying to stay mostly realistic I do love to exploit some fantasy elements. Besides Marcy hasn't really met a lot of people yet where she hasn't been able to hide her sissy side from. Anyways, I might or might not involve someone who doesn't want to turn him into a sissy, one thing is for sure. Many more parts are comming Yours trully, Fibaro
Date: 05/19/19 10:49 pm Title: Chapter 2
Once again we have a story that's far too incomplete to review, but I'm going to because I really want to encourage the author to continue.
This is an excellent story that, even this early on, pushes a LOT of my buttons. The blackmail is well done and (so far) largely believable, I love sissification generally, and I ABSOLUTELY love "just desserts" stories. The only critique I could give at this point, besides a few fairly minor grammatical errors, is that Fibaro kind of glossed over the introduction, speaking in generalities rather than giving one or two concrete examples of the way our victim, Mark, torments John before John decides to get revenge. This weakens the entire rationale for the subsequent events, and in fact I ALMOST didn't continue due to the weakness of the introduction. I know this is a pr0n story, but that doesn't mean we should forget to write good stories. ;)
Anyway, nice start and I look forward to reading more!
Author's Response: Hey thank you for the very torough feedback. First of all prepare to brace yourself because this is going to turn out being a long story. In retrospect I agree that the introduction part is on the weak side, but it is one of the very first pieces of story I have put in writing in my entire life. When it comes to grammer I do try my best, but it is a difficult thing for me since English is only my third language. When it comes to ways of tormenting John and other neighbours it is mostly just some vandalisme and small thefts, things like grafiti, or stealing a garden gnome. Once again thank you for your review and I very much hope you will enjoy the future parts.