Date: 03/29/19 09:06 am Title: Chapter 1: Lady Gwendoline
Ah, that was much better, congrats! Next on the list would be the prose but nothing improves it more than experience, so no need to stress over it too much. For now let’s just celebrate writing at all, that’s a bigger achievement than it’s usually given credit for.
I’m interested in seeing where this goes next, in no small part due to a collab story that fell through that had a similar hook, hehe. Wondering how quickly Madeleine’s life will get raunched up...
Author's Response: Thank you! Ya, I'm hoping my prose does get better, I suppose I'll have to just keep writing!
Date: 03/28/19 06:57 pm Title: Chapter 1: Lady Gwendoline
Wow... if she lets them turn back, why has no one ever returned? I get the feeling this is more sinister than she's letting on...
Author's Response: Maybe it is, maybe it isn't. You'll just have to wait and see. For now though, I'm glad you like it!
Date: 03/27/19 12:21 pm Title: Chapter 1: Lady Gwendoline
Gosh, that’s a wall of text! You need more paragraph and line breaks if you want to avoid discouraging people from reading your story. Though do know I struggled with those myself when I started writing, this is a pretty common mistake. Don’t let it discourage you either! I’ll try and peep an eye again when I have more energy to parse it, or if you do an editing pass and improve this aspect of your chapter.
Author's Response: Okay, I've added a line between each paragraph, and I broke up the longer paragraphs a bit. Tell me what you think once you read it, I look forward to seeing what you think!