Date: 04/24/19 03:04 pm Title: Monachopsis - 1.a
I'm confused. I thought everyone knew Taylor as a cis girl now? How why does the boss say 'he' then?
Author's Response: No, that's the crucial part of the story. The universe around Taylor changed, but nobody's memories have been altered. Pictures have been changed to fit Taylor's current look, but people looking at the pictures will raise an eyebrow remembering that it used to be a guy standing there.
Date: 04/16/19 08:45 pm Title: Nodus Tollens - 2.3
Poor Taylor, still having problems adapting. I think she's thinking too much in the in the "you look nice" comment from max, I mean doesn't everyone like to be complimented on their looks, especially by thier crush.
Also she may say she's not attracted to Hannah but that was a lot of details about her figure, because what do you get when you change a straight male into a female, a lesbian. Since nothing change but the body from the wish so the mind will find woman attractive and man unattractive still.
Also she may regret not being with max right now but really thats on her because all she needs to do is reach out even more then what has already happened, because whether she likes it or not unless she calls max for a meet up or an address to her home that that road between them will remain closed. Unless mom steps in and does something but that could be good or bad depending on taylor.
Date: 04/16/19 06:51 pm Title: Nodus Tollens - 2.3
" But why now? Why now that I was a girl? Female? Why did she have to make that comment about a body I didn't want to be in? I didn't mean to do this. It was the fault of my stupid wish."
Well, Tyler, 1) she's a lesbian (and you *know* this), and 2) also, no matter what feelings you may have for her, you're effectively a trans boy (whether you've realized it or not), so any relationship you pursue with her is probably doomed in the long run, anyway.
Date: 04/08/19 07:34 pm Title: Nodus Tollens - 2.1
Its a relief that the ambiguity of Max's gender and circumstances in relation to Ty have changed. That was becoming bothersome as the story progressed. That said i am concerned for the future of this. I want to see Taylor get better and settle into her life but i personally need to see that validation come from somewhere internal to her? Or something? She made a mistake and i am concerned that this story is going to frame that as "the best mistake she ever made" or "a happy accident with a rough start" but even if it is all happy and sunshine soon i worry about how some of the finer points will shake out.
My first issue is that i dont think Tyler was a trans girl, if she was I think thats super subtle (probably beautiful subtext in hindsight) and a super compelling story to tell but if they dont want to be a girl then... I hope you dont make them learn to like it.
As far as max goes, rooting her sexuality in physical aspects is... Interesting? Not inherently bad? I dont get it but i can see how it could happen. So much of this story is hard to wrap my head around simply because im not a lesbian and im absolutely trans. I selfishly want to project onto this story but im begining to doubt i can. I can enjoy this without projecting though.
My concern is that the plot of this story will be to fix Taylor using a romantic relationship with Max. And that scares me. That strikes me as a harmful concept at worst and at best a delicate concept to work with depending on how the characters personalities and emotions shake out.
Its perfectly valid if Tyler was just the eggiest of eggs. Its human of them to want love and make stupid stupid choices to get it. It would be astoundingly human of them to feel better and validated or even "made complete" by a relationship with max. But if the way you write that story makes it seem like Ty made a good decision and has handled the situation healthily for their best interest and emotional wellbeing/stability. YIKES.
I feel like these concerns put no faith in you though. Because honestly, i feel like you have done an astoundingly good job of writing a aurprisingly fresh and visceral concept. It feels like you have written a cis man becoming a trans man. It feels like they should still be Tyler and that the struggles they will face will bring them to a gratifying place. They may still be Tyler. They may arrive at some sort of comfort in being Taylor.
I worry how max fits along side all of that because at the end of the day she hurt Ty. She used him for self discovery and i know how that feels. And i can tell you that being 4 years past it i dont think that relationship should happen for me. Part of that is because even as a girl now, i dont work with her. Maybe your story is different in that respect. I worry sometimes that my transition is sparked by some desire to be accepted by her but i know thats not true. Im not hung up on her.
So. Oversharing aside. The plot is extremely relevant to me. And i am perhaps oversensitive to how you handle it. Im pleased with how you have written the characters and with the plot direction you are taking, my issues with your use of foreshadowing are small, and i maintain hope that this story will come to a healthy resolution rather than just a happy one.
Date: 04/06/19 04:13 pm Title: Monachopsis - 1.6
I've been reading this story for a while and just wanted to say I really enjoy your writing style. I hope Taylor is able to feel more comfortable as herself soon. Maybe Max can help her with that. The characters feel real to me and I really like that. Please keep up the good work.
Date: 04/04/19 05:32 am Title: Monachopsis - 1.1
Ah, interesting story. I'm enjoying how you write, especially how you mostly italicize flashbacks, except for the last chapter, to make it easier to read.
I agree with Headhuntet. Tyler did not wish to be a girl, he wished for something else, like that Maxine could fall in love with him. The Genie had to find a way to make the wish come true for him without effecting her.
Very good plot line. Looking forward to more.
Date: 04/04/19 03:55 am Title: Monachopsis - 1.6
I’m gonna bounce off of what Lilchelly just said: if he knew she was a lesbian and still made that wish, combined with the glimpse of an intimate scene we saw where Tyler was really not in distress over their body - well that points more towards trans girl than douchebag.
Date: 04/03/19 11:27 pm Title: Monachopsis - 1.6
So it comes full circle, so the wish was to become someone Max could fall in love with, which was another lesbian girl. Im sure taylors original wish was for Maxine to love him, however that broke one of the genies rules so this is the outcome.
Cant wait to see how this story develops.
Date: 03/28/19 06:37 pm Title: Monachopsis - 1.a
If Taylor is really this unhappy, why not get him diagnosed as Transgender, and let him live as a Trans boy? Plenty of boys go through with it, and he wont even have the misfortune of being mistaken for a girl as a child.
Date: 03/27/19 04:50 pm Title: Monachopsis - 1.1
Been keeping up with this story for a while now. The writing and characters definitely feel natural, which is awesome. Also I'm really hoping for some more clarity on exactly what the wish was. Still... hoping Taylor eventually realizes just how lucky she ended up, even if everything wasn't super perfect like she hoped it would be.
Date: 03/26/19 08:05 pm Title: Monachopsis - 1.5
This is a difficult read for sure. The heavy focus on hormones is disorienting i guess? Between Taylor's experience with anxiety and the extraordinarily normal high school life displayed so far this does an interesting job of hitting really close to home while not really connecting with me perfectly. But that issue is entirely on my side.
Your story telling is masterful and the environment you are writing is incredibly rich. For once a high school story feels like high school and thats wild to me. These arent charictatures of high school stereotypes like I'm used to. They actually act like the people i remember from that stage of life.
Through all of this my frustration is mainly not knowing what is going on from the wish? Like i see people making their guesses from the beginning but i cant really tell either way.
Its interesting. This reads like the YA novel that i desperately needed in high school and im eager to see how it plays out now. The hook certainly worked for the start.
Date: 03/24/19 11:20 pm Title: Monachopsis - 1.4
Okay now im definitely confused on who max is, guess that was a nickname for a girlfriend, short for Maxine or something, she had before the change. That guess is just base of the story tags set up.
Also I can see taylor having a panic attack at some point in time during school since its seems like she is having flashbacks or something.
Date: 03/24/19 08:55 pm Title: Monachopsis - 1.1
Amazing start to this story, loving the intrigue. Character and emotionally focused stories are rare on this site and even it's even rarer when they are as well written as this has been so far. Excited to see where this goes and can't wait to read more.
Date: 03/18/19 11:26 pm Title: Monachopsis - 1.3
Hmm so what I getting is that one of the restrictions place upon the genie is that he can by no means take a person's will or personality and change it to the requestors wish. So the can be no wishing of slaves or the influence others. Also wishes to positions of power is also a no go, lets say you wish to be the president of America, you will get the title but everyone will know who the really president is still.
My guess is taylor depression is due to the fact he is 100% female in body, but his mind and others was left unaltered so things he would normally view as normal is not so anymore in the mind others, like a relationship with another girl for one. So she is afraid of being different in the eyes of others and be cast out alone.
So while she is down right now im sure she'll find some friends that will accept her and by then that special someone to help her get through the hard times ahead.
Date: 03/17/19 07:24 am Title: Monachopsis - 1.1
I am incredibly curious not only of the wording of their wish but also how genuine they were with it. Are they now a dysphoric trans guy, or a depressed trans girl that had hoped more things than just their body would change?
Date: 03/17/19 07:05 am Title: Monachopsis - 1.1
I'm quite enjoying this so far. If I understand correctly, Taylor's wish was to have been born a girl, but as Free Will is holy, reality didn't affect people's minds, so she doesn't remember growing up as a girl, she's just physically one now, and effectively had been her whole life, but everyone knows that wasn't always the case. I'm curious as to where this story will go now, and if Taylor can manage to get through her depressive state from the botched wish.
Date: 03/16/19 12:02 am Title: Monachopsis - 1.1
I'm definitely intrigued- I'm curious to see how Taylor got into this predicament, and if the reason she's(?) depressed is because she was a cis dude and is now having dysphoria, or because she's trans and her father rejecting her.