Date: 01/14/20 07:55 pm Title: The End
This is an all-timer. Such a good story that I made an account on this website I've read stories on for probably over a year just to review it. So many things about your characters just ring true in a really incredible way. I cried a couple times through, and let me tell you I am glad I only started reading this thing when it was finished because oh man I would be a wreck waiting for updates those last few chapters. I'm happy to hear that you're figuring out your own stuff; congratulations sister! HRT is amazing and I hope it changes your life as much as it did mine.
I look forward to your future works!
Author's Response: omg thank you so much that really means a lot!! sorry for making you cry!! still working on getting those good good horms in me but god it will happen!!!
Date: 01/14/20 08:17 am Title: The End
Heyyyyyy, congrats on completing this story and congrats on the HRT! I'm so happy for you! :)
Author's Response: thank you!!! been loving The Adress btw, anyone else in here looking at reviews, go read The Address it's cute af
Date: 01/14/20 04:31 am Title: The End
It's a beautiful end to a beautiful story. Thank you so much for sharing that with us. And I am proud of you for finding your truth. It isn't easy to come to terms with being yourself, and the road we travel to become one with ourselves can be difficult. But as a transwoman myself, I will walk that road with you, as I know others who have read your works will as well. =). I look forward to future stories!
Author's Response: thank you Luna <3 thanks for reading! and I am so excited to walk this road with yall
Date: 01/13/20 09:50 pm Title: The End
First, I want to thank you for such a consistently delightful story, from the start all the way through the end. I love these dorks and I'm thrilled to see them finally getting to a place where they're thriving together. It's truly, truly wonderful. You've really created something special here.
Secondly, and much more importantly, I am so happy for you! I'm so glad you've been able to figure some stuff out about yourself, and from my own experience... HRT is fucking awesome, and helped me really confirm and finalize a lot of feelings. So, super cool that you're taking that step. :)
Whatever you might do next, whether in writing or in real life, I wish you all the best!!
Author's Response: thank you Rooibos!! genuinely it's so likely that I wouldn't have gotten to this point without your comments, so glad you like the end <3
Date: 01/13/20 08:54 pm Title: The End
Nice work! There are lots of supportive trans communities online if you need support
Author's Response: thank you!! happy to be cracked at last hahaha. I have found a wonderful group of people who have been super helpful, lmao that the way I found them was by writing a p**** story on a site created by a tg fetish guy but I'm not complaining!!!
Date: 01/13/20 03:16 pm Title: The End
Aw goddess, Blake!!! You wonderful girl!! You fucking nailed this, this ending is PERFECT.
Ugh. I loved this. I'm so glad my bebis got together in the end. I'm so glad Mel is finally living her best life. I'M SO GLAD MY ADAM GOT TO BE WITH HIS LOVE.
And gosh, calling me out like that in the review... Oh you sweetheart. All I did was tell you that you were super cool and 100% feminine you dork.
Ugh, what am I gonna do now that this story is over??? I love this shit so much... Well, at least I know that the next story you write is no doubt gonna pull me in like this one, because you're just such an amazing writer!
Seriously. You made a huge fucking lesbian like me fall in love with a guy. And a gym bro of all guys!! Fucking props to you girl!
Author's Response: thanks babe <3 hope my next story is up to your standards!!! and I think it's only fair that I turned you a little bi, considering you helped turn me trans :p
Date: 01/13/20 02:26 pm Title: The End
This is an awesome, super duper ending! OMG! Great story - one of my favorites! Congrats on some serious self discovery, too!
Author's Response: thank you!!!!! thanks so much for all your comments, really meant a lot!! really glad you liked the ending!!!
Date: 01/13/20 12:54 pm Title: The End
I’m fucking screaming! Blake! You lovely little... AAAAHHHH!!! Oh my god I love this so much, I don’t know, fight me. Maybe I’m just gay as hell, but yeah, there’s something about girls in ratty clothes or loungewear where they just look so... comfy, and snuggly, and gorgeous. I feel Adam in this chapter, but also Mel’s incessant doubts finally breaking... that whole scene, that internal monologue, was so, so cathartic. I can’t believe I’m so blessed as to actually know you, you’re such a good writer and an amazing friend. You’re welcome, Blake, and honestly thank you for being a friend, and thank you for writing such an amazing story!
Author's Response: honestly what is hotter than being comfy and snuggly?!? nothing!!! I'm so so happy that you liked it, I genuinely cant thank you enough for all the support you've given me over the past few months, you have literally changed my life <3
Date: 12/24/19 07:51 pm Title: Just bros being bros
Boring af? More like AMAZING.
Goddess, I could say so many things about this chapter. The not-false-lead first sentence. The loving tender romantic sex. The total acceptance of Mel, her body, and what she wants to keep.
I think you've fucking done it girl. You've made me bi. Or pan or something, I dunno. Fucking... ugh. I didn't think I could find a guy hot, but fuck if I don't want Adam to do all that to me now.
But on a less sexual note - this really was just a great chapter. I love seeing them just being open about their feelings with each other, vulnerable with their insecurities. This is such a realistic, emotional, HUMAN chapter here. It's the kind of love I wish to have with any and all partners I ever have tbh.
You go girl. You're such an awesome chick and an amazing writer
Author's Response: yesssss!! this is the bi agenda in action >:D thanks so much I'm really glad you liked it, especially the feelsy stuff. like what would this scene even be worth without all the emotional vulnerability, like that's so much hotter than the physical stuff imo
Date: 12/24/19 05:57 pm Title: Just bros being bros
Breaking the intro gag is *exactly* what I was hoping for here good shit :v
Author's Response: yesssss hahaha I've been waiting to do that for so long. trying to make those intro lines work got so irritating by the end but it was all worth it >:)
Date: 12/22/19 07:03 am Title: Goodbye, again
This chapter didn't need another rewrite. You do have some ellipses which have been corrupted, but nothing too unreadable.
In general, I really like this story. There are some spots where you have chosen to play for a different taste, and I can't say you were wrong to do anything in particular.
This chapter is a delicious success after a long, savoury line of salads. Though it wasn't all salad, either; it isn't quite fair to disparage it that much. Still, quite a good chapter.
Author's Response: omg thanks for catching those corrupted thingies, that's annoying as. I'll fix em! and glad you generally liked it! I vibe the "long line of salads" thing haha, next story I write I should maybe try and vary things up a bit more.
Date: 12/09/19 05:41 pm Title: Raise The Bar
You fucking cheeky bitch! I swear Blake, you make me both wanna bop you on the head and die of laughter with your fucking author commentary XD
But also: YESYESYEYSYEYSYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYSESYSYESYSEYSEYES
MY BABIES ARE BACK TOGETHER WOOOOOOOOOOO
Oh Mel. Fuck. She has some hardcore imposter syndrome. Like, seriously hardcore imposter syndrome. She should probably see a therapist about that if she isn't already. Like damn girl. Damn.
Author's Response: oh yeah!! imposter syndrome is so accurate, I didn't really realise that's what it was. well hopefully that fall knocks it out of her 😇 also, dont count your chickens re: adam and mel getting back together just yet!!!! I am a very cheeky b**** after all!!!!
Date: 12/09/19 09:06 am Title: Compliments
Darling, like, I know you’re being a titanium egg but please, for the love of all that is good, just like, you want to be a woman right? Then do it!
Author's Response: the good thing is if the eggshell cracks I can always just glue it back together again. I'm like a kings horse in that way ;p
Date: 12/06/19 11:36 am Title: One year later
aw yeah guess which drunk bitch almost just came out to her (?????) sisters!!! it's me baby!!!! didnt tell them I was trans, cause maybe I'm not, and didnt even tell them I was thinking I might be trans, cause maybe I'm not, BUT!!! I did tell them I was seeing a psych, and I did tell them that I had "something going on that I've been trying to figure out for 12 years, and if it turns out that it is something I have to deal with, I dont want it to come out of nowhere. but maybe it isnt a thing, and either way, dont worry, I'm not gonna hurt myself about it". SO!!! by most peoples standards that is probably literally nothing, but for Blake Lonely her/himself? big fucken deal. I'm feeling g good babes. anyway I got some shit to do tomorrow but theres a solid chance I'll be posting the next chapter, and then!!! only THREE MORE REMAIN!!!!
Author's Response: on second thoughts it would actually be a lot cooler if I could just go out dancing with my sisters without feeling dysphoric and sad but this is still pretty good. also dont ask me to examine how I can feel dysphoria about my male body and still think I'm probs still a cis man. I contain multitudes m************
Date: 12/05/19 06:19 pm Title: One year later
Oh Mel... or should I say, Melanie! Gosh, that's so cute. Cara though... ugh. She's hot, but her personality is way shittier than Adam's.
And a fucking trans anniversary is so CUTE! Gosh. I can only hope mine is anything like this.
As for you, Blake... I hope you're doing ok. I'm here if you need to talk to someone. And like, no matter who you decide you want to be, I still stand by what I said before - "You're a super cool chick"
Author's Response: thank you <3 I'll guess we'll see if that checks out haha. I hope your anniversary is super cute and does NOT involve crying about an ex. and hearts out to Cara tbh. I'm sure she'd be a great person if I gave her any depth beyond being the bad rebound. sorry Cara! you served your purpose adequately as an indicator that time has passed and Mel has not moved on, and if I ever need you for another story I promise I'll give you a rich inner life of your own!
Date: 12/05/19 12:05 pm Title: One year later
Goddamn it ok one more because I don’t know how to edit comments, if that’s even a thing. Long story short, feeling a like a boy doesn’t necessarily make you one, or at least I fucking hope not, because I feel like a boy/man/male-thing 100% of the time. I don’t like it, I don’t like feeling like that, but I’m not gonna lie and say I feel feminine or female. I want to be, I want to be feminine and cute and pretty, but I can’t see myself as that, for whatever reason. I feel like a man, I want to be a woman, and I’ve been told by pretty much everyone, including doctors and therapists and psychiatrists and friends and girlfriends and boyfriends and everyone, that wanting to be a girl makes you a girl, so idk if you want to be a girl (even though from what you’ve said, it really really REALLY seems that way), but if you want to be a girl you are one. I’m gonna reiterate here: I am functioning ok three days of no sleep, it is 7:05am, I threw up twice in the past twentyfold four hours and three hours ago I chugged a Monster energy drink, so this is basically the ramblings if a madman/madwoman, but like, I love you Blake, you’re a cool person and you’re fun to talk to and you write really good stuff and do what you have to to make yourself happy. You deserve that
Author's Response: omfg pom go to sleep!!!! and thank you and I love you and go ahead and add me to that list of people bc 100% you are feminine and cute and pretty to me and ngl part of my weird gender spiral was specifically thinking "I wish I was a real girl like pom (and the other discord ladies)" ANYWAY feelings are weird!!! thank you again for reaching out but I should be right!!! but thank you and love you and go tf to sleep girl!!
Date: 12/05/19 11:58 am Title: One year later
Ok second comment because I just remembered you saying you were gonna take a break from discord and I wanted to make sure you got this: “Hey! I finally got around to reading chapter twenty of WOI. If you ever want to talk about anything, I’m here, ok? I saw the chapter notes, and if there’s any way I can help hit me up” copied and pasted right from the discord message I tried to send you. Whether you’re a girl or a boy or neither or both whatever you decide, you’re still gonna be an amazing person whoever you are. For real, if you need any kind of help, or just want to talk, I’m always available. Have a nice day, or a nice night, or just a happy time, whenever you read this
Author's Response: this would probably be more relevant to your other review (and actually it would.be even more relevant to tell my psych but lmao I dont trust that motherf*cker yet) but I was thinking about not feeling female and like.... the f*cked thing is for a couple weeks i totally felt female. when I looked in the mirror I saw a girl! and yeah she was an ugly as girl who had super broad shoulders and facial hair and stuff, but she was still a girl!! she was defo a girl. and now... she's f*cken gone dude. havent seen her for a while. sometimes I see a tiny glimpse of someone who looks like her, but mostly it's just the same dude I've been seeing for 24 years. that's depressing sh*t tbh. like I dont even really want to be a cis girl (altho if some magic sh*t happened and I suddenly had a 100% female body I would not complain. like I genuinely think I would take the Hush deal) I just want to be a trans girl. but it seems so unattainable. ......... bummer!
Date: 12/05/19 11:53 am Title: One year later
I’m crying I’m so excited for them to get back together I just want my little bugs to be happy and cuddly and cute and maybe it’s the hyper-period that progesterone has given me but I’m ducking bawling my eyes out at 7:00am after not having slept at all and just gosh wow
Author's Response: the little bugs!!!!!!!! cute cute CUTE!!!! I love my little bugs even tho one of them is dumb as sh*t
Date: 12/04/19 12:58 am Title: One year later
Good luck with your identity! You're a girl if you want to be. :)
As for this story, another fantastic chapter! It's almost like it's a set up for something, but I can't quite put my finger on it.
Author's Response: Thanks Maria <3 And yeah called out lmao. There is a very specific cheesy a** romcom moment I'm trying to get to, that I personally believe is a VERY neat way to tie everything up lmao. but jeez louise it's a convulated a** set up to get Mel there. Hopefully it pays off!
Date: 12/02/19 10:59 am Title: INTERLUDE: Be strong to be useful
omg Adam is so perfect and i wish for nothing but his and Mel’s happiness. I was so sad reading this that i had to teak breaks in between 😭. I’m really looking forward to seeing where they end up whether it’s together or apart I just hope they’re happy.
Author's Response: ahh thank you! hopefully i'll be finished with this story before christmas, and hopefully it will be, uhh, i dunno, fill in the blanks with some sort of christmassy themed play on words about how i hope you like the ending. i hope it's, like, a good present, and santa doesn't put me on the naughty list... you get it. i hope it's a treat and not a trick. whatever. thank you!
Date: 11/30/19 08:55 pm Title: Compliments
ok so i found this story... idk, a week ago? and it has been on my mind almost non-stop since. because, god, you know what i love about it? you took a silly, almost cliche TG Fiction™ smutfic idea and transed the heck out of it.
like the sex scenes? super hot, but without the internalized homophobia/transmisogyny a lot of older tg works tend to have. just a completely clueless protagonist who isn't constantly being all ashamed of how feminine she is or how she's being humiliated or something. 🙄
and then what you did with jeremy's tough love reality check, and mel actually *accepting herself* and then, fuck, adam's pov chapter (which, as another review put it, was very affirming for mel and for, you know, all the readers who put themselves in her place) - like way to elevate an already cute story to something beyond the genre it started in!
you took a pretty silly idea and made it feel so genuine and heartfelt and authentic, and like that's exactly what i want see from stories like this in 2019. a sort of modern, trans reclamation away from the older, performatively-hyperfeminine-at-any-cost hoops that transfemmes were forced to jump through in the past, and fron the reactionary fiction that was created from that pressure.
like no. this isn't just smutfic for our internalized shame, this is tg as in transgender fiction. by and for us.
anyway good story i love it a lot.
Author's Response: thank you lovely! i'm really glad you like it and that it doesn't come across as gross or exploitative. i have to be honest tho (I mean i probably don't HAVE to, but when have I not abused the response function to overshare....) and tell you that i've been having a lot of doubts and conflicting feelings recently and maybe it's not totally fair to say that this story is "by us" necessarily :( but i'm so glad it feels like it's "for us", i totally tried to make it as genuine and heartfelt and authentic as possible. a lot of mel's feelings is stuff that is based on my own feelings, or stuff that i wish i could get to feel. whether i turn out to be nb or trans or whatever in the end i'm really glad that this resonated in a positive way for so many wonderful people <3 ANYWAY new chapter coming soon just haven't been able to get on the computer much thanks for reading!!
Date: 11/30/19 06:47 pm Title: Compliments
Holy crap. Re-reading the chapters for a 70th+ time and I just realized the title has 2 meanings.
Mel I having issues from working out, and you're writing the story to work out your own issues.
I mean, that's just superb subtext right there.
Author's Response: gonna be real with you qzar, the "Working Out (Personal) Issues" meaning was originally supposed to refer exclusively to in-universe Mel lmao. kinda overstepped my boundaries for a while!!! was not the plan!!
Date: 11/29/19 07:44 pm Title: Dinner
That scene where Mel admits to herself her gender and just kinda.... accepts the signs as they are. Like it all comes together; that really hit home for me. Excellent writing.
...Like I'm literally trapped in the cry/smile feedback loop, nice work!
Author's Response: hell yeah i'm glad it hit home for you! honestly i think out of all the cute and sexy and romantic fantasies i've put into this story that's the moment of everything coming together and making sense is the one i long for the most lmao. this gender s*** is confusing and, honestly? sucks a**. ANYWAY sorry to hear about your feedback loop! if everything goes to plan by the final chapter you will be either crying OR smiling, time will tell which one!!
Date: 11/26/19 06:16 am Title: INTERLUDE: Be strong to be useful
Oh. My. God.
Oh my god.
Oh my GOD.
I didn't think I could love Adam any more, but fucking, after reading all this... FUCK.
And those gym friends of his, like, ugh. Talk about bad first impressions.|
This is so fucking sweet. He's so in love. He's so adorable. He's... He's...
YOU BETTER FUCKING MAKE THIS BEAUTIFUL MAN HAPPY BLAKE OR SO HELP ME GOD
(also omg you fucking used my thoughts on that first sex scene for Adam's thoughts and I love you SO MUCH
Author's Response: love you too FF <3
Date: 11/25/19 05:20 am Title: INTERLUDE: Be strong to be useful
I’m crying. This is so wholesome. Gosh, I just want my babies to be happy. Thank you for this, Blake. This is amazing
Author's Response: the babies have to suffer so they can learn!! thank you Pom, I'm glad you liked it! I was worried I was gonna mess up adam's characterisation (tbh I did the first time lol) so I'm glad it turned out okay!! also I'm so sorry about this but could you possibly send me another discord invite? my old email broke and I lost your last invite, but my new email is blake1tgs@gmail . com. sorry and thank you!!!
Date: 11/25/19 03:28 am Title: INTERLUDE: Be strong to be useful
So much heart in this scene! Idk if it’s the rewrites, but you condensed this down into something very raw. Intensely validating both from Mel’s perspective but also from adam’s. You’ve managed to squeeze conflict out of the one dude who I would’ve thought was immune to it because he’s such a great guy he’s diffuse it somehow. And also, to hell with toxic masculinity! Kevin & Dilruk’s reactions were so golden!!! Really fantastic
Author's Response: yayy thank you!! I considered making Kevin and Dilruk be dicks about it for about 0.0001 second and then realised that would make me really sad and that is not the s*** I am here for lmao. I mean, last chapter aside obv
Date: 11/25/19 01:56 am Title: INTERLUDE: Be strong to be useful
THIS POOR SWEET ANGEL OF A MAN. ;_; I can't wait for Mel to work through her shit and for them to get back together.
Author's Response: I dunno I was kinda thinking maybe this was the last we see of Adam.... hmm I guess it could work if they got back together again tho.... no promises ;p
Date: 11/24/19 11:08 pm Title: INTERLUDE: Be strong to be useful
I'm glad you were able to post this chapter, I loved experiencing things from Adam's perspective.
Author's Response: thank you! it was honestly pretty weird to write! this is meant to be the one place where I dont have to speak from the persona of a cis guy and yet I really just f****** threw myself back into it for some reason lmao! but adam is a lovely boy and I'm glad that you enjoyed it!!
Date: 11/22/19 10:01 am Title: Crab-Woman
I adore this story, but what happened to chapter 19, the Adam interlude??
Author's Response: nooooo damn it haha. I posted it and then immediately had a crisis of faith and deleted it right away. i was hoping nobody noticed. I have to polish it up some more but I'll post it again in a couple of days hopefully. sorry!
Date: 11/21/19 02:57 pm Title: Crab-Woman
A short summary of me reading this chapter:
"Oh hey, is she...?"
"...wait a minute..."
"DAMMIT MEL YOU STUPID FUCKING NO YOU"
"UGGGGGGGGGGGH I WANNA PUNCH A WALL YOU POOR SAD DYSPHORIC SELFLOATHING LITTLE"
*dry heaves and moans in mourning*
Fucking dammit all Blake. You better... you better fucking fix this. Fucking poor Adam, he's just, ugh. He doesn't deserve this *sobs*
Author's Response: god haha i really hope i pull off the turnaround otherwise i am going to feel like the biggest piece of s*** i swear
Date: 11/21/19 02:23 am Title: Crab-Woman
Wow, between the last chapter and this one, talk about your highs and lows. It takes a good writer to make characters that make you feel things and right now I'm sad for both of them.
Glad this isn't really the ending though
Author's Response: thank you! sorry to make you sad, get a cuddle from your cat for me <3
Date: 11/21/19 12:19 am Title: Dinner
Okay, before I post this review I just wanted to say something in reply to your response to my first review. I don't think you have to be sorry about your sporatic posting on lit. The story fits so much better here. I'm just happy it popped onto the front page so I could keep reading
Holy moly, just finished reading the chapter Dinner and I'm so happy for Mel that she's finally accepted who she is. I literally cried out "Yes!" and scared my cat who is now cowering under the couch.
Then she realized she was bi and she likes guys and I was expecting all the pieces to fall into place. She would realize Adam liked her and she liked him but.... Mel, you poor sweet dumb little princess. It's obvious to everyone but you and I really hope you figure it out before he moves on
I guess onto Crab Woman, looking at the reviews it looks like it's going to be a tough chapter for me to read
Author's Response: thank you! give your cat a cuddle for me!
Date: 11/20/19 03:54 am Title: Crab-Woman
Wow I almost freaked out at your "fake ending" comment! This is so frustrating regarding her self esteem, but I guess you really need her to work through it further and harder. It's difficult for me to read, maybe a bit too close to home? But I'll stick it out with you and hope for the best,
Author's Response: Sorry for the fake ending, I just couldn't resist! At heart I am truly a slimy bridge-dwelling troll of myself. I can't resist being frustrating either. I'm sorry if it's hitting close to home :( Honestly, this side of Mel is verrrry much pulled from my own personality, so all the endless cycles of self-hatred are just, like, write what you know lmao. But this is NOT the end, and she WILL get through it! And if it turns out that life imitates art.... that'd be lit! Anyway thanks for reading and reviewing sorry I always overshare in my response!!
Date: 11/19/19 10:42 pm Title: Crab-Woman
You made me cry in a Barnes and Noble bathroom. I hate you. Good work. I don’t really hate you, I’m just mad. Not at you. At the characters. You know. This is so good. I hate it and I love it. This chapter was so well written and I hated it so much. I love this story. I hate this part. Ok, all things aside, this chapter was amazingly written and I really really need more soon please
Author's Response: I'm sorry Pom!!! Thank you for your hate and love! I'll make it up to you in a couple of chapters I promise!!
Date: 11/19/19 09:48 pm Title: One more for the road
Yes! Yes! Yes!
I'm so happy to see this story show up here. I originally bumped into it on literotica and at first I kind of skimmed the first few chapters, just looking for some fantasy fuel but unlike other stories on that site I got invested in the later chapters and ended up going back and reading from the start.
As others have said in earlier reviews your characters are freaking amazing, I love Adam to bits. He's so supportive and kind and he makes me care what happens to him. Mel is frustrating but in a good way, she's the kind of friend where you just want to shake them and show them that they aren't as worthless as they think they are
It's obvious from the reviews that this story has resonated with a lot of people here and I'm happy to see you getting a lot of positive feedback and support because you really do deserve it. This was an instant fave for me, now I have to get back to re-reading it from the start here
Author's Response: Ahhh thank you!! I'm sorry I've been so stingy with posting on literotica, I just feel like a doof over there posting like 18 tiny chapters, mostly with no sexual content in them, so I wanted to save em up and post them in big chunks. I'm glad you found me here and that you like Adam and Mel still :)
Date: 11/19/19 06:46 am Title: Dinner
I’ve been reading this for a good bit, but just had to stop and comment that I love and absolutely appreciate this affirming experience you’ve written! It makes my heart warm that this chapter exists. Thanks for writing it
Author's Response: ahhh thank you! I'm honestly so glad. if everything goes as planned there will be more really cute and affirming stuff coming up in future chapters i promise!
Date: 11/18/19 03:21 pm Title: Compliments
I’m fucking screaming! Ah! God fuck yes finally thank the lord. Also it’s good that Mel and Adam didn’t dine and dash, honestly, it would have bothered me too. I’m gonna send you that discord invite ^-^
Author's Response: yes!! thank you lovely! glad that we have a shared respect for dining etiquette!
Date: 11/18/19 03:04 pm Title: Dinner
FUCKING YES MEL! FINALLY!
THANK YOU SO FUCKING MUCH JEREMY OMFG
...But um, yeah, now Mel just has to realize that she wasn't taking advantage of Adam and that he was actually into her.
Come on girl!!
Author's Response: yay yay yay!! ahaha i was VERY worried that this moment would not live up to the hype after dangling it on a string for so long. but now Mel is over the hump! should be an end to all her obliviousness and denial! only positive moments from here on out!
Date: 11/16/19 05:05 am Title: The Parent Trap (1998)
Gosh. A banger of a chapter, Blake. Fuck, I want more of this now, Mel and Adam are so cute and I just want more of them all the time GAH!
Author's Response: thank u baby!!! more coming but not tonight I am drunk!!! shout out to 69 reviews!!!!!! the weed number!!!!! also check ur messages/message me if u can I want in that discord!! but I used a fake email for this site bc my normal email is my legal boy name and I dont want anyone to know!!! so who knows if that will work!!!! life is strange!!!!!
Date: 11/15/19 08:52 pm Title: The Parent Trap (1998)
Oh no. Adam. Adam. Adam.
These next few chapters are gonna be really, really hard to read.
(also damn you, turning me bi... now I can't stop imagining Adam pulling stockings off MY legs instead >///< )
Author's Response: I promise you this! the next few chapters WILL be hard to read!!!! not for emotional reasons, they will actually be totally fluffy and cute, but I'm gonna right them in ancient Greek
Date: 11/14/19 04:02 pm Title: The Parent Trap (1998)
Lovely... date? I will keep wishing for them to finally be an item, maybe a bro item. And maybe Mel realises something is going on between them.
Author's Response: hold on to hope if you got it! dont let it go for nobody!
Date: 11/14/19 12:04 am Title: The Parent Trap (1998)
Wonderful writing! I feel so bad for Adam right now and I have a feeling this date might not end well. Don't leave us waiting too long for the next chapter!
Author's Response: Thank you!! working on the next chapter as we speak! not gonna lie its gonna be a rough one for Adam!!
Date: 11/13/19 10:26 am Title: One more for the road
Your story has just been sooooo adorable! I really adore the characters you've built here - yes Mel is french farce levels oblivious about *everything* but you write their internal monologue so well and their dialog with Adam is so sweet you can't help but fall in love with them. And that keeps them from just feeling like cartoon characters bumbling their way into sex scenes over and over~
I also really enjoy how you've managed to take the oblivious farce angle of sex comedy and apply it to the trans fiction realm by completely flipping the dynamic of the forcefem story. Normally the appeal of forcefemming is, like, making it so you can fantasize about all these trans feelings in an extremely safe environment - "well I'm a girl now and I'm stuck that way better learn to love it it's just my lot in the world can't help it. Not my fault if I don't consciously choose it to happen!" And, like, I get it! There's a power in that safety that allowes the uncracked to dip their toes in, even if there's that urge to wallow in the pool.
And what you've done here is really take all the toxicity out of that dynamic and simply build a positive narrative. Just the fact that there's no actual forcing here makes the whole thing. Mel shedding their toxicity about their own self image from a positive environment is injecting that consent and self determination that is missing from the ten thousand other gym feminization stories this lightly skirts the tropes of. A lesser version of this story *would* have had the dvds hypnotize mel, or somehow have a handful of soybeans become hyper hrt. All that is needed here is someone going "No it's ok, its safe to explore. It's ok to not know what you need before you hits you in the face."
Also, it ain't hurting that you're able to make het romance scenes hotter than the devil's left dick. That skill is so rare Gordan Ramsay is having a screaming fit over it
See you in the discord girl~
Author's Response: oh my god hi! thank you for the lovely review and analysis! please spend less time reading my story and more time writing Brimstone though thanks! especially if you're going to taunt me with devil and Hell's Kitchen references! just kidding thank you so much. you have totally read me with that forced fem thing. originally this was gonna be a straight up Joe Sixpack knock off forced fem story, because that was all I could handle fantasising about for EXACTLY the reasons you described. but then I tried to write it that way and I immediately got squeamish lmao. I was like oh noo Adam's being really creepy and mean I want him to be hot and nice. so I just used the exact same tropes but "by accident". also recently there was a big shift in my approach from "guy becomes a girl" to "trans girl in denial learns to accept herself" and..... yeah that shift did not originate from within the story
Date: 11/11/19 09:14 pm Title: One more for the road
Oh my fucking god. Blake, you literally write the sexiest, most fulfilling, wonderful, amazing, heartwarming, tender sex scenes fucking ever. I submit to you. I curtsy to your magnificence.
This was beautiful!!!
You take a nice relaxing break, yeah? You fucking earned it girl. These last couple chapters have been one hell of a ride and I love them incredibly much.
Author's Response: Ahhh thank you!!! That's honestly such a lovely compliment I really want to show it to my friends and be like "look what this amazing lady said about my writing!" But the rest of that conversation would be uhhh interesting lmao. I'm honestly so happy you liked this chapter, my secret plan to turn you bi is proceeding perfectly >:) Also my break was....pretty bleh. But the good news is I have a therapist appointment on Monday!! if I learn some healthy coping strategies I might pass them onto Mel or I might just keep them for myself and let her suffer lmao
Date: 11/10/19 02:07 am Title: One more for the road
Thanks for taking out time to write this part ... You have good time during the break and come back with bang :)
And coming to the story it's going very nice and one can feel the character in themselves while reading ... Keep up the good work ..
Author's Response: thanks chandini :) the next chapters just more setup I'm afraid but the one after should be a banger!!
Date: 11/08/19 02:56 pm Title: One more for the road
Noooooooo don't go =(. I look forward to every update to this story. It's just so good! I'll be anxiously awaiting the next chapter
Author's Response: ahh thank you! I'm so glad you're enjoying it. the next chapter should be up soon!
Date: 11/07/19 08:02 pm Title: One more for the road
One of my favorite stories I've read in the last 9 years. Really excited for how it ends. Which is weird, cause I don't usually go for the sweet and wholesome stuff 😅
Author's Response: yay! thank you! hope I stick the landing
Date: 11/07/19 06:19 am Title: My Dress
Really love this story and keep checking almost daily basis for an update.. a little be faster update would really good ..
Keep up the good work ..
Author's Response: Thank you!! Sorry I'm so slow, I know how frustrating it can be. But unfortunately I think I'm gonna go on hiatus for a while. Hopefully not much more than a week. But I think I really do need a week to think lol. But because you asked so nice I'll post one last chapter first.
Date: 11/07/19 03:32 am Title: My Dress
Wow, I am so pleased to see this being updated so regularly again! It's such a joy every time - I think mainly because it's just so... positive! I think it would be so very easy to take a slightly shaky step somewhere along this way but you just keep hitting it out of the park. Mel is so endearingly oblivious + the people in her life really do seem to care about her and it just works. And when you write a moment like this chapter, everything really clicks into place. There's a very real feeling being expressed here. That comes through 100%
Musing more generally, I think in a lot of not-great romance-ish stories, the author tells you the leads fall in love but never convinces you as to -why- they ever would. I really -feel- the reasons in this though - and not just cause Adam is hot. Their dynamic really works, and Adam being relentlessly supportive is so pure and good. I still really think that even if Mel came to radically different decisions about how he/she/they wanted to identify as, Adam would just super happily go along with it - he really likes Mel for Mel. (And in what I think is a secret hidden weapon of this story: happiness isn't just narrowly dependent on being-girl, it's more that Mel is given freedom and no-judgment and that enables the happiness+being-girl parts) And on the other side, Mel, even as self-absorbed and sometimes even whiny that she can be, she really legitimately cares for Adam and I think that's expressed so well through actions and characterization rather than just exposition. Relationship goals.
Re: Mel's own understanding of herself, I think that's starting to shine through the cracks too. I was also maybe a bit worried that this would arrive abruptly and out of left field, but it really feels of a piece with the character. And I think that's because the overall idea here is seeing Mel take small steps one at a time, and Mel feeling better and better about herself, which is something that I know I personally relate to in my own experiences. I think your borderline-obstinate refusal to allow Mel even the slightest hint of self-reflection has somehow wrapped back around to feeling all-too-realistic. :p Or at least I think maybe my own experiences have been... well, not this level of complete obliviousness, but instead a kind of hyper-awareness/self-analysis that oddly had the same effect (because it's so easy to be just as paralyzed and stuck when constantly questioning and doubting yourself too). So it's sort of refreshing that Mel doesn't just have the big flash of insight that solves everything back in like chapter 3 or whatever, and instead you get a constantly circling around and around the core thing, while it still feels barely out of reach. (But ever slightly closer??)
I don't know, I feel like I'm rambling now. I still just really adore this story, and will continue to delightedly await further updates. Best wishes to you!
Author's Response: Far out Rooibus Chai you always come in and just fricken lay me bare. I'm really glad you've been liking this! I'm glad it comes off so positive (I just can't help it! Every second sentence is "Adam smiled" or "I laughed" lmao I have a problem) AND really glad that you think the romance dynamic works!! I do worry sometimes that Adam is just gonna come across as the human equivalent of one of those boyfriend pillows with the arm that single people can snuggle with. Also wow I relate so hard to the self-analysis-paralysis thing. Am I even trans or am I just fetishizing trans people? If I was really trans I would just know, right? I wouldn't have to question it? Am I actually just unhappy because I'm ugly? But am I even ugly or do I just think I I'm ugly because I look so masculine? If I'm cis why am I fixating on this, and oh no now it's been literally 10 years, do cis guys spend 10 years wondering if they were meant to be a girl? Also gotta be honest getting such smart and insightful commentary makes me SUPER nervous about this next chapter which is essentially just super drawn out p***. Um Hope you enjoy.
Date: 11/06/19 04:46 pm Title: Compliments
Ok, I just read your comment responses, and I have to say, you should really get a discord account. It’s free, and honestly you would fit in SO WELL in the server FinallyFeminine and I were talking about. It would give you a good spot to talk about this sort of thing more often, with people who understand and know what it feels like. I mean, no pressure, but like, yeah, this story is amazing and you seem chill af and honestly I would love to have you in the community we built around this site
Author's Response: Okay yep that actually sounds really good, you are so chill and kind for inviting me, and also I just realised that it's super unhealthy for this story to be my only outlet for talking about my identity lmao. I think I need to chill for a bit and sort some life stuff out but can I message you about it in like a week or so?
Date: 11/06/19 03:51 pm Title: Compliments
Ugh, TGST really needs to have a way of nesting conversations in reviews without me having to submit a whole other one just to reply to you!!!
But hun, omg, I seriously just want to hug you. I know all too well the feeling that it would just be impossible for you, despite all the evidence to the contrary. On the one hand, I'm glad you're channeling your feelings into this story because this story is AMAZING. But you deserve happiness too! You should be able to explore yourself just like Mel is doing (although hopefully with a lot less fucking denial lmao)!
It's a shame you don't have Discord or some other instant messenger chat. You seem like a really cool chick that I would love to be friends with :3 Also I absolutely need to buy you clothes and maybe force feed you some little blue pills >:3
Hehe, but seriously, I empathize so hard with feeling scared and anxious and just all the things realizing you might not be quite as cishet as you once thought causes. If you ever need to chat with someone, I'm here for you girl
Author's Response: Oh my god being called a "really cool chick" honestly made me get up and start pacing around the room. Can't deal. You really are so lovely. Also yes please to the benevolent forced feminisation haha. I really do have to get Discord, you and Pomegranate have talked me around. And I'm sure Joe Sixpack didn't intend for the review section to function as like an impromptu group therapy session lmao. But I'm really grateful it has been. Also all the extra reviews are probably good for my SEO or something.
Date: 11/06/19 02:46 pm Title: My Dress
How Mel is reacting to seeing herself in a dress is like, pretty damn close to how I felt. But, I wasn't prettied up at all like she is. Also she's not crying while I literally cried happy tears for the first time in my life. It was just... nice and relieving to know that it felt as right as I had hoped it would.
Also I am SO EXCITED at all the chapters you're pumping out!!! Seriously, like, this chapter is so fucking huge for Mel's character development. She really needs to realize like, immediately that she's a she. Which sucks, because I know this whole date set up is gonna fail miserably, and she's gonna get sad and Adam is gonna be hurt and just... ugh. I just want her to be happy and herself dammit!!!
Author's Response: Ahh thank you so much for sharing your experience! That sounds so lovely and I'm so happy for you :) To be honest my real life mirror moment was a bit different. I was (am) kinda just resigned that Being Trans was just not an option for me, and then that little glimpse of potential was kind of beautiful but also REALLY scary. Because if it's possible, then I actually have to make a decision...... or procrastinate by channelling my feels into writing instead, which may or may not be why so many chapters have been coming out recently :p ANYWAY no idea why you're worried about the date, its gonna be toooootally fine, don't even worry about it! ;)
Date: 11/06/19 01:31 pm Title: My Dress
Great chapter. Love this story. This is totally my fantasy.
Author's Response: Thank you! I hope you get to live the fantasy soon. I think I'm there with you right now, even something as simple as buying a dress is just not really an option at the moment. But soon!
Date: 11/06/19 01:28 am Title: My Dress
Gosh.... Oh gosh. This is so cute. I love this so much. I know that feeling, and this brought it back full force. Oh my gosh I need more of this, Blake, what have you done to me, oh god I'm addicted to this story
Author's Response: Ahaha yay!!! I'm glad you like it and I'm glad to be doing some #relatable content that's about positive feelings instead of fear or shame (which I have noticed gets old pretty quick! especially irl!) Also addiction goes two ways it turns out. Every time I upload a new chapter I keep coming back to frantically check the comments to see what everyone has to say. I really cant over-emphasize how much I appreciate your comments. Even tho this is just a silly story that's like mostly guided by how much it makes me laugh/feel twirly, it's also the only real chance I get to talk to anyone who would relate to this stuff. Sorry I hope that doesnt sound too codependent! Definitely feel free to let me know if you think anything in the story sucks too!
Date: 11/05/19 06:33 pm Title: Play stupid games...
Oh! Fortnite and Minecraft too I think. I think got guacamelee mixed up with another game though. Capture point could be any tactical shooter/objective based game though, but I’m expecting Overwatch because of the notoriety.
Date: 11/05/19 06:28 pm Title: Play stupid games...
Keep Talking and Nobody Explodes, Mario, Halo, Guacamelee, Guitar Hero, Dark souls, PAC Man, Silent Hill, Mario Kart, GTA (five or San Andreas, probably, although don’t all of the games have a star wanted system?)
Secondarily, I wouldn’t mind it if you dragged out the story. It’s good, and more fluff is always better. I’m regards to your dad, I’m sorry stuff is hard. Uhm, I’m part of a discord server for tgtf authors, if you would be interested in that? I think you’d fit right in, and a couple of us in the server really like Working Out Issues. If you’re interested let me know ^-^
Author's Response: Aww! Thank you so much, you are lovely. Don't worry about my dad, he's actually chill as. I'm just not ready to have that conversation. I dont have discord unfortunately but I really appreciate that offer. And you nailed the video games, give me a sec and I'll type up the rest of the next chapter on my phone lol
Date: 11/05/19 03:45 pm Title: Play stupid games...
Oh my god okay I don't even know who I'm telling this to but I just sat down and figured out the entire rest of the plot for this story. There should be exactly 5 more chapters, unless I do exactly what I always do and totally blow it out way too long. But I'm pretty sure it should just be 5 chapters, and it should be really dramatic and cute and satisfying! Agh!!! I'm excited! Just need my dad to get off the computer!
Hey here's a fun challenge in case anyone is hanging around in the reviews section. Name 10 of the video games I reference in this chapter and I'll post the next chapter right away.
Author's Response: I 100% did what I always do lmao. Up to chapter 19 now and I'm pretty sure theres still like 5 chapters to go
Date: 11/05/19 03:42 am Title: Play stupid games...
This chapter is so cute and took so long to be released and I NEED more ASAP. Please?
Author's Response: I'm trying! My laptop's busted so I have to use the computer at my dad's house, which requires ULTIMATE STEALTH because there's no way I'm explaining this s*** to him lmaooo. But I'll try and have the next chapter up by this time next week! Thank you for reading!
Date: 10/28/19 03:43 pm Title: Mel picks an outfit
please please keep writing this story
Author's Response: babe you know i will! i love writing it, i love reading the responses from readers, and most importantly of all, i love directly putting my own emotional issues into Mel's head instead of dealing with them irl hahaha
Date: 10/25/19 01:19 pm Title: Mel picks an outfit
Oh Mel... the poor thing. So much of her feels this chapter are really hitting home for me. It's really hard at first to start seeing yourself as pretty or cute when you've hated yourself for so long.
At the same time, poor Adam. I think Mel isn't going to get it until you just straight up tell her that you actually like her, like for real, dude.
Author's Response: honestly the amount of times writing this story .that I have written out ""I love you, " said Adam" and then deleted it is like.... double digits for sure lmao
Date: 10/24/19 05:56 pm Title: Morning, beautiful
Holy shit do I love this story. I'm a hella gay transbian myself, but, I might have to reconsider myself as like gynesexual with some demiandrosexual feelings based off how hard I'm falling for Adam right now. He is seriously just the sweetest, cutest, most wonderful guy and I wanna yell at Mel that she needs to realize what the HELL IS GOING ON HERE. Also she needs to accept who she is already, like holy SHIT.
Seriously though, thank you so much for writing this. I feel like I'm finally experiencing what it's like to be a teen reading cute sappy steamy romance novels and this is just, ugh. So AWESOME!!!
Author's Response: ahhh yes!! so glad to give you that experience. I remember stealing my sister's Meg Cabot books to get that hit of cute sappy b*******, honestly All American Girl was a formative novel for me hahaha
Date: 10/24/19 04:25 pm Title: Morning, beautiful
The Egyptian crocodile thing threw me, but I get it now. When can we expect another chapter? I want to set aside some time for it when it’s out. Also, yes this is a second review for five stars because the story deserves it.
Author's Response: I'm honestly so devo that we dont get notifications for reviews/responses or I would tell you that the new chapter is up now! as for the next one... I have plans for friday but I'm a little shakier on the in-between, and I got a busy weekend, so it'll either be tuesday night or in six months if I get writers block again
Date: 10/24/19 01:29 pm Title: Morning, beautiful
God, this story is so good! I can’t wait to read more! Mel’s obliviousness is frustrating sometimes, but I mean, some girls are just like that. Keep up the great work!
Author's Response: Thank you! Sorry not sorry for the frustration! I have a certain point where I really want the catharsis to happen, and it should hopefully be GREAT, but for the life of me I can't advance the plot by thirty minutes without spending 1000 words on Mel cooking breakfast, so it's gonna take a while. And as for Mel's obliviousness... some of it is genuine innocence/stupidity, but also Mel is kind of like an Egyptian crocodile, if you know what I'm saying.
Date: 10/24/19 03:46 am Title: Morning, beautiful
They’re back!!! And delightful - Adam is so smitten that it’s adorable and I cannot believe Mel’s continued obliviousness. I am maybe so worried about the inevitable disaster of the coming Friday, but also so looking forward to the catharsis and Mel having to actually deal with their feelings.
So glad to have you back with us, dear author, and I’m glad things are going well for you!
Author's Response: I'm really glad you're back too! Your comments are always really insightful and I mad appreciate it. BUT! MEL WILL NEVER DEAL WITH THEIR FEELINGS! I refuse! I get off on denial! Adam will be down on one knee with a ring in his hand and Mel's dick in his mouth before Mel EVEN CONSIDERS that they are worthy of love! Muahahaha nah jk stay tuned for catharsis dear reader
Date: 10/23/19 08:02 am Title: Compliments
I have been waiting for this for so long you don't understand. This story has so much fluff and supportive relationships and I love it. Please update again soon!
Author's Response: thank you! I'll try my best! sorry for the long wait, sometimes life comes at you pretty fast and it's hard to get in the mood to write cute happy stuff. good news is, i recently went on a long walk through the ocean and met an amazing guy, he's a fish, we're very happy together. **** ALSO just a heads up if you happen to be scrolling through the comments, i very briefly uploaded a shorter version of this chapter but i just updated it to have a lil bit more cute stuff AND PLOT PROGRESSION at the end
Date: 03/30/19 05:51 pm Title: Hand stuff in this one baby!!!!!
Brojob! Brojob! Choo choo!
Sorry, but I kept thinking about that stupid meme as I read this. I love the story though, and I agree with a previous review that said it's a bit farcical at face value, but it's really sweet and there's real heart and depth beneath the almost absurd nature of the story.
Date: 03/30/19 12:56 am Title: Hand stuff in this one baby!!!!!
God, when you get to the sex parts it is... uhhhhhh...
extremely hot in here all of a sudden
I'm very interested in where this is going now with Ashanti, too. While I know that Adam is going to be not super happy about it, I'm actually way more interested in the thought that ha, if Mel actually does set Adam up and then sees him with a different person... Well, I would not be surprised to see Mel suddenly feeling extremely not ok and super jealous and just like... being totally incapable of knowing how to deal with that.
And re: your earlier response, I think despite the fact that the situation is on-its-face sort of ridiculous (okay look, 'platonic bros' doesn't normally include a super hot jerk off sesh, Mel!!), that Mel still definitely makes a lot of sense, both as a person in the fiction and as a character that people would like to read about. His level of total-non-self-reflection is intense, but also extremely relatable. Part of why this story is so compelling is exaaactly the feeling of... wouldn't it be nice to just change who you are, and not have to actually think about it or even realize, and oh also there's someone at your side who's insanely supportive the whole time? "whoops i woke up and i'm a girl now, ha ha, what a series of mistakes this has been but oh well and NO I DON'T NEED TO CHANGE BACK THANKS" If it's something that you -want-, and you admit that, it also makes you vulnerable. It means people can think you're wrong or weird or bad. But if it's just something that happens, there's safety in that. Which is why so many of the stories on this site are magic accidents or whatever.
...But it is kind of helpful too to be able to move past that and actually accept things about yourself. There's also power in actively seizing your own happiness, rather than hoping the universe aligns to just hand it to you. I dunno. I'm really looking forward to Mel eventually coming to that sort of place and making the kind of decisions to actively be who he wants to be (and to be with the person he really really really obviously wants to be with). Can't wait to read more!
Author's Response: Rooibos fricken love it when I get a review from you! Not gonna lie it does kind of feel like you're seeing directly into my soul which is a bit spooky. But I love your insights and plot ideas.
Date: 03/27/19 07:14 am Title: Getting home late
I love the fakeout lines that start every chapter!
This story is a bit of a farcical comedy, but there's real heart at its core.
Author's Response: Oh wow! Thanks Jennifer! I mean if we're talking about stories with heart, Colleen was one of the first stories I read and really loved on this site so that means a lot :)
Date: 03/27/19 05:40 am Title: Getting home late
This chapter pulled on some tenderly emotional strings here. Mixed signals can really be a bummer when the real topic can't come right on out.
By the way, all those clothes being purchased had reminded me of a time when this place called Rugged Warehouse first opened up. Dear God did they ever desperately tried to get rid of all those clothes. o_o
Never played Dark Souls, but I've seen quite a few comments on it. Plus I haven't played any games in over a year, so there is that... but anyways, I give Adam credit for learning with a solid hammer to the head rather than a cushy pillow to fall back on. XD
I wish those two bonding bros luck on their tight journey together! :)
Author's Response: Thank you!! The bros are definitely about to get a lot more personal, at least in one way. Also yeah Adam going for Dark Souls as his first name really is the Kevin trying to beat his PB by 60lb of video games lol
Date: 03/26/19 05:59 pm Title: Compliments
Thank you! So glad this story is back.
I'm so ready to see Adam and Mel admit their innocent feelings, they're too pure to be going after Ashanti and Jeremy imo. It seems pretty clear that Adam is feeling possessive over Mel, so I'm definitely excited to see where you're taking us.
Author's Response: I'm really glad you're enjoying it!! Unfortunately things might not exactly be going in the innocent direction you're hoping for but hopefully you wont be too disappointed ;)
Date: 03/26/19 06:28 am Title: The gym
Where were you last few days? Came at least twice a day to just to see if u posted a new part.
Author's Response: I was busy writing a way cuter and hotter story that I'm just going to keep for myself and never share >:) For real though straight up writers block, sorry!
Date: 03/26/19 01:42 am Title: Compliments
My only suggestion for where the story should go is MOAR! Fantastic writing and excellent dialogue. If you want to get a realistic image of Mel's measurements just look up some actresses online that fit your image of what Mel looks like at different stages. And remember that the ideal (and most feminine looking) waist to hip ratio is .70 while a more masculine ratio is .85+
Date: 03/25/19 06:36 pm Title: The gym
I'm so glad to see another chapter of this! Still so delightful. I feel like Adam is starting to get it now (in terms of how he feels about Mel), but Mel is as oblivious as always. Even though their whole relationship is the sweet center of the story, it's interesting seeing them both bounce off of different characters, and I'm curious how meeting Ashanti again will go for Mel.
As for where you're going in the future, I guess the couple of thoughts I had were that first I hope you continue to maintain the really nice tone of everything - it doesn't seem like anyone's doing anything sneakily or without consent. They're too pure for that and it'd be a really weird undercurrent to the relationship to have parts of it be based on false pretenses (rather than just two adorable idiots not seeing what's in front of them).
And secondly, I'm sort of curious... Mel has been so oblivious to everything that it's pretty ambiguous as to what's really *Mel* and what's just Mel's expectations about Mel. Like, Mel talks about being attracted to girls, but also is super obvs into Adam - and like, it makes a lot of sense because bisexuality exists, and Mel just doesn't allow themself to consider the possibility of liking a dude (or, sure, compulsory heterosexuality is a trip and alternately maybe Mel's directly only into guys but can't realize it yet). The whole sexuality thing is interesting and has some wrinkles that I'm curious to learn more about, but there's definitely a lot built into there through the story that makes it clear as to where you're going (and satisfying when you take clear steps in that direction).
But I'm a lot more uncertain about how Mel sees Mel in terms of gender? There's not been a lot of serious self-reflection here, in part because that would come into conflict with just how oblivious Mel is, and maybe limit what you can do in the way you want to do it. But... It does seem like something worth exploring? I don't really feel like I have a huge personal need for Mel to be any particular flavor if identity, but it should make sense in the context of the story. Like... I could see variations of this in which Mel is a gay dude who just presents femme and accepts his body and gets together with Adam. I could see a version where Mel realizes they don't care about gender at all, and never really has, and appreciates that Adam accepts them for that. And I could see a version where Mel realizes that she does in fact feel more comfortable and happy being perceived and treated as a woman and Adam is happy to be with his new trans girlfriend. (yes, Adam and Mel are happy together in every possibility :p ) But I sort of have no clue in which direction you're leaning - I think there are some elements that point to each of those possibilities, but nothing strong enough to solidify it as the path that's most true to the characters. So, if there's a way to maybe explore that a little and lay more groundwork for where you're going to go, it might help make that eventual conclusion more satisfying?
Just a thought - and of course, my perspective on the story might not align with your own, so. I'll be thrilled to read more of whatever you write, regardless of the direction it goes. :)
Author's Response: Okay wow. Thank you so much for this review, it was honestly so thoughtful and insightful and, like, exciting to read. You totally have articulated all of the vague ideas I had in my head, so much better than I could have. Especially the "What's really Mel vs what's Mel's expectations about Mel" thing. Seriously, I wish someone would have said something like that to me as a kid, would have made some things a lot easier to figure out! Also, totally read me about avoiding self-reflection. I think that's equally on me as an author (dumb and oblivious is so much easier to write lol) and on Mel as a character. In my mind, there's a big part of Mel that knows exactly what path he's going down, but if he just accepts everything as totally out of control, it means he doesn't need to start asking himself any tricky questions. But I think I have an avenue to start examining that more.
Date: 03/25/19 04:31 pm Title: The gym
Yay! The story is back! I really love this story, and I'm glad to see it back. Mel is blind, right? She literally can't see what's in front of her? Adam is so sweet too. More?
Author's Response: Yay thank you! I should have a couple more chapters coming out soon. And Mel is definitely, like... maybe a bit too aggressively dumb, if I'm honest. I'm still working on the balance haha.
Date: 03/25/19 03:41 pm Title: Compliments
Also, are we going to find out what's causing the changes to Mel? I'm guessing the food from Adam is laced with hormones and the workout DVDs are brainwashing him/her but it would be great to get some understanding of this
Author's Response: to be honest Mel's transformation is probably just like... a kinda naturally feminine guy who happens to carry weight more around his hips and chest and never would have noticed before he started losing weight. he probably wouldnt look that girly if he wasnt, y'know, always wearing women's clothes. I can definitely say that the DVDs arent brainwashing him, tho.
Date: 03/25/19 03:27 pm Title: Compliments
Thank you so much for continuing this story. I've been checking in so much over the past few weeks, desperately needing to know what happens next. This didn't disappoint either, I love that Mel's made a new friend and Adam isn't too pleased. I also love that you linked up with keeping the store girl in the story. Whilst waiting for the chapter I'd hoped she might have been at the gym and encouraged Mel to wear the skirt, maybe now that'll happen if they meet at Jeremy's flat. This is the best story I've seen in ages, please keep going.
Author's Response: thanks Rachel!! it's actually gonna be a couple more chapters until we see Ashanti again but hopefully the pay off will be worth it.
Date: 03/15/19 01:43 pm Title: The massage scene's in this one
Really enjoying this - chapter 6 was amazing! Read this page 10 times so far!!
Author's Response: damn dude, stay hydrated!! thanks for the support! got a new chapter coming soon that hopefully I think you'll love!
Date: 03/09/19 07:14 pm Title: Suspend your disbelief
I have just binge read what you have so far today and am loving it , I just hope you don't take too long to put out more chapters soon. Keep up the great writing ; )
Author's Response: I got a bit held up but a couple new chapters will be coming soon!