Date: 05/31/19 02:30 pm Title: Tea and Tentacles
Well, that chapter was enlightening. Good to be getting more of the backstory on the family Erica is marrying into. Now i know how my wife felt.
It's so tantalizing every time you describe Erica. I wish i could see her with more than just my imagination. I suppose there is a little jealousy stirred in as well.
Can't wait for the next installment!
Date: 05/31/19 02:24 am Title: Tea and Tentacles
Oh my Absolute Goddess what is this? Come on... tell her/us what is up with Kat? What's going on? What's the big secret!? Come on you're the big sister she needs to know! Also... tentacles... I don't get why people think tentacles are sexual, I think they're so cuuute and pure. But everyone always makes ink babies sexual and it makes me sad. But that's okay, it's your story and wow she's a demon queen that's awesome!
Date: 05/22/19 04:41 am Title: Would You Like to Touch It?
Despite the climax, that seemed ... anticlimactic.
At least Erica is making progress. I didn't think she would touch it. Then I thought she might hop on and go for a ride. Kicking GA out early was also a surprise. But, as you have alluded to many times, there is much more to 'come'.
I get the feeling sometimes you don't care for my reviews. I'm trying to be honest, but keep things light and fun. You really are a fantastic writer, and I could read your stories all day long. Please keep up the great work.
Author's Response: oh man, it makes me sad to think you imagine i don't care for your reviews. they always make me laugh, even when i don't get all of the references. XD and yes, i think Erica surprised herself a little. she's still figuring things out. i want her to be comfortable with herself before anything too wild happens. which isn't to say she won't be in for some sexy experiences in the meantime. i have a very open-minded definition of what 'virginity' is and in general think it is more a state of mind than it is a physical condition. heck, some purists might think Erica lost her virginity when she started pleasuring GA. for me, i think it will be a moment where her mind suddenly opens and she knows she's ready and then, whatever act happens or not, she won't be a virgin any longer * to herself *. i've tried to hint that physical definitions (like a broken hymen, etc) are generally imposed from without as status symbols for others. there's a reason * demons * are obsessed by virgins in my story. it's not a healthy 'definition'. but this is just my 'take'. and i blather too much. just know i love your comments. xo, charlotte
Date: 05/22/19 01:15 am Title: Would You Like to Touch It?
Oh goodness, where do I even start?!
Uhmmm characters? Yeah too damned cute! Ya trying to kill me or somethin? Jk jk. They're wonderful, I love how I can just picture them and fall in love right off the bat.
As I've said before, your flow is just perfect, like water. It makes me moist XD
Keep up the wonderful work, i cant wait for more!
Author's Response: fall in love? hmm, i might need to bring in some baddies because we can't be all love and sunshine now can we? but seriously, i'm happy you are enjoying them. and thank you for your kind words about my writing style. i try and change things up a little with everything i make. this story is 'supposed to be' punchy and bite-sized. the next story i write might be crazy long and all over the place. again, ty. xo, charlotte
Date: 05/21/19 11:24 pm Title: Would You Like to Touch It?
That was actually... kinda hot. The chapters are pretty short, though, so maybe I'll start skipping reading them until I get 4 or 5 new ones to read at once.
Author's Response: well, my chapters could totally be consumed like girl scout cookies. you can eat one at a time or polish off a whole sleeve in one sitting. xo, charlotte
Date: 05/21/19 09:31 pm Title: Would You Like to Touch It?
...So after I finished this chapter, I swallowed and became aware after that act of how much my mouth watered. o_o
Oh, and as for the earlier unclear question I had supposed; I meant to ask if Alistair was working on bimbofying Erica. She's gradually gaining those traits. XD
Author's Response: Alistair isn't changing the way Erica looks or acts. his magic, on its own, is not powerful enough to change Erica. that said, Erica can and has changed herself. her body may be acquiring a very feminine look, but that says more about Erica than it does about Alistair. with the exception that he (may have) placed a hex on her preventing her from making her bust smaller. something 'small' like that sort of hex might be doable. but he can't simply rewrite her personality. she's much too strong for that. now if she wanted to make herself a bimbo, that would be something else entirely. however i haven't seen anything in her character that suggests that is the sort of woman she wishes to be. xo, charlotte
Date: 05/17/19 05:31 pm Title: Indistinguishable From Flesh and Blood
You have an excellent imagination, I love the way the storyline is going!
Author's Response: ty, Roadbandit. the last thing i want for myself as an author or everyone else as the reader is to be bored. xo, charlotte
Date: 05/17/19 01:31 pm Title: Indistinguishable From Flesh and Blood
First, I can't wait to read the 500k chapter on boobs. Will it be 250k for each one? Whatever you decide, I know they will be in good hands with you as the author. I'd offer to proofread, but you'd probably never hear from me again.
Second, every time I see the word 'Golem' I picture the little guy with good taste in jewelry from 'Lord of the Rings'. Charlotte, you are my Precious.
Third, does this count as popping Erica's cherry, and make her null and void for the real Alistair?
Fourth, I'm glad to see Erica is taking her new parts for a test drive. I'm betting she will have no regrets, unless she winds up sleeping in the wet spot.
Author's Response: so many questions and good points. silly points, too. while i know about the LotR (of course I do), for me golems are more like animated mud men, created to the bidding of their master. they are in video games a lot, too. as to your other comments, well... xo, charlotte
Date: 05/17/19 03:46 am Title: Indistinguishable From Flesh and Blood
Clearly he's still a slug and I'd controlling the golem from inside its head pacific rim style.
Author's Response: oh my GOD you are right, even if you weren't, you now totally are. how did i not realize this was a Krang situation? i have failed everyone as a writer. xo, charlotte
Date: 05/16/19 07:57 pm Title: Indistinguishable From Flesh and Blood
We have been teased with pregnant alistair, please oh please let this be a thing! IE: The snail transformation! Also I don't trust him... he probably put his seed inside the golem... don't trust him Erica he's evil!
Author's Response: well, there is a prophecy (or at least the belief) that someone here needs to bear a child. xo, charlotte
Date: 05/15/19 04:31 am Title: Magical Instruction (I)
Hell hath no fury like a woman ... overly endowed and overly fertile?
Charlotte, you really know how to make magic exciting. Part of me does want to see Alistair get eaten by a bird, but I fear that would drastically shorten this story. And I can tell there is so much more to come.
Now does Esmeralda's appearance signal a possible bonding with Erica? Will they go shopping or to a salon and brunch?
You know, a cliffhanger is still a cliffhanger, no matter how short the cliff, or chapter, is. Your format really leaves me wanting more. Can't wait to see what happens next. Thanks.
Author's Response: it is shockingly hard to refrain from writing longer chapters. but it is a good exercise in style and restraint. my next story, on the other hand, will be a single 500,000 word chapter entirely devoted to the protagonist's description of her slowly developing breasts. xo, charlotte
Date: 05/11/19 04:56 pm Title: Personal Attendants
Alistair what have you and your wicked family done? Why is that lady l8ike "my name was Kat." and she gets tortured if she doesn't do chores? The actual hell? Boy you literally want me to want you to be barbecued over a roasted flame don't you? You creep monster asshole!
Author's Response: that's MR. creepy monster a******. and i guess i didn't get around to explaining Kat's story in this chapter. i'll have to do remedy that in the near future. xo, charlotte
Date: 05/11/19 04:03 pm Title: Personal Attendants
Too short. The chapter are Way too short. I'm also suffering intensely waiting for more brilliant updates.
Author's Response: you know, one of these times i'm going to go against everything i said and add a 50,000 word chapter and everyone will be all 'too long! it's too long!' what i mean to say is that i am sorry for your suffering but happy you are enjoying this silly story. xo, charlotte
Date: 05/09/19 08:40 pm Title: Personal Attendants
Well, Erica can't say that Alistair hasn't gone overboard in trying to give his 'bride' every creature comfort under the sun. All in hopes of bedding her and creating his heir. I Guess he would not be willing to wait the million years that Erica has silently mandated. This impending confrontation is shaping up to be a massacre.
Charlotte your writing style just flows along like a small bubbling brook on a lazy summer day. I could sit there all day with my toes in the water reading your tales.
And at the end of the day, I just can't stop picturing Erica suffocating Alistair with her giant boobs. What a way to go!
Author's Response: i mean there are probably worse deaths. xo, charlotte
Date: 05/09/19 03:54 pm Title: Personal Attendants
"Sigh" when will Alistair stop doing all these shady things, like really ointments to enhance fertility behind her back, that made him lose a ton of brownie points for me. That just makes me wish to poof in there and break his nuts for that type of thing.
Also is kat there of her own free will? the hints that I got was when she said under a mumble her name "was kat" and that she gets physical discomfort if not attending to someone like a slave.
Author's Response: i'm shocked Alistair still had any brownie points left with you ;-p and the Kat situation is both not as sad and way way sadder than it appears. more on her later. xo, charlotte
Date: 05/07/19 04:05 am Title: The One With the Boobs
Thank you Charlotte. I feel like you wrote this chapter just for me. I wish all stories had at least one chapter just like this. Wow! Thanks again.
Author's Response: * puts on genie hat * your wish is my command (at least in terms of my own work). henceforth every one of my stories will have a chapter just like this. xo, charlotte
Date: 05/06/19 03:41 pm Title: The One With the Boobs
Wouldn’t pictures be nice for this chapter! Lol, I can’t wait to read the argument with her husband. Well done
Author's Response: well maybe someone will turn this into a graphic novel some day. not me though. i can't draw and am too broke to commission a dang thing, lol. xo, charlotte
Date: 05/06/19 02:45 am Title: The Life We Live
This is pretty cool. You not only had Erica come to a full circle of how we first started off the story (that wandering hand syndrome), but you left her in a position that symbolizes that rotation. A revolution. Dunno if that was intentional, but, eh, I like to think of it that way. :D
And I'm kinda done harping on ya. You're the greatest authority figure on this story, so whatever goes, you know best. I'm very happy to see how this story arc supposedly ended. We explored no real dark places, grey areas, yeah, but nothing to bend us out of shape. That is really cool in my book. ;)
...Just keep up the humor, that makes me smile and laugh, so, pretty please? And while you do that, I'm gonna see if I can write a funny rom-com oneshot story for a contest. XD
Have fun! :)
Author's Response: oh, yes! please do a funny rom-com! i'm all for that! which is not to say we won't get into grey areas or dark places in this story. eventually. maybe. xo, charlotte
Date: 05/04/19 10:51 am Title: The Large Spoon to His Little
“Oh my God, Alistair? Are you telling me that you, some all powerful magic guy, you... you don't live with your mother, do you?” I ask."
Looking forward to meeting Alistair's mommy. I bet she's, umm, "formidable." What, no takers?!!
Author's Response: tbh i'm not sure i really know who Alistair's mum is yet. we'll see. she's certainly not to be taken lightly. xo, charlotte
Date: 05/04/19 10:37 am Title: Huh
A staple of TG fiction - the first shower - very well done. Loved the magical robe. I need one of those.
Author's Response: all you need to do to get a magic robe is fall in with a warlock. you might also need to become his bride and possibly bear his child, but it may be worth it? xo, charlotte
Date: 05/04/19 10:31 am Title: The Budding Rose Motel
"On second thought? Alistair can have the bed. Unless he's willing to magic up a black-light and set my mind at ease." Bwahahha! Yes! Do not touch the crinkly sheets until you smell the bleach... lots and lots of bleach!
Author's Response: hehe. i'm happy you're enjoying this. xo, charlotte
Date: 05/04/19 09:57 am Title: (More) Antiquated Notions of Virginity
Chapter 12 - I like the fact that Erica isn't a passive vessel - she's a force in an of herself, someone who can act and make things happen. Dispelling demons - that's agency. I like it.
Author's Response: that's my thinking, too. i don't want a passive main character. it's less interesting to me. xo, charlotte
Date: 04/29/19 02:28 pm Title: My Father's Parlor
Quite an interesting house. I wonder if Alistair is expecting the he and Erica will live there as husband and wife?
I could use a Man cave like that one.
The revelation that Erica is really female is really gonna rattle her. Finding out she changed herself reminded me of the end of the movie 'Field of Dreams'. Ray tells Shoeless Joe that it was him who told Ray to build the baseball field so his dead father would visit. Shoeless responds, "No Ray, it was you." One of my favorite movies.
Author's Response: i think there will always be some ambiguity as to what is going on, as to who has done what. it's possible (i should know, i'm the author) that it is a combination of things. of Eric not being averse to changing and Alistair wanting him to. or maybe it's more 70 / 30? maybe Eric's significant desire just needed a helping hand. xo, charlotte
Date: 04/28/19 08:34 pm Title: My Father's Parlor
Hmm, that’s interesting. Maybe Erica was a girl inside all along? But then why do Alistair’s sisters seem to think she’s an “Eric?” And wow, she’s strong enough to bend reality... meat! That is, as things may be, assuming we trust Alistair. I’m really enjoying this story!
Author's Response: well, we barely know Ezzy. she may have her own motives or may just be a brat. and Erica is not (yet?) powerful enough to bend reality. i'm not sure any magic user is, tbh. we'll get into this more and more, obviously, but Alistair seems to think Erica was able to change herself, and at least some of her belongings back home. how much of this was her and how much of it was illusions crafted by Alistair to bamboozle Erica's parents into thinking they always had a daughter, we may never know. i'm glad you are enjoying the story, Ara! xo, charlotte
Date: 04/28/19 06:34 pm Title: My Father's Parlor
Waaaaaaait what?! Did Erica want to be ready for her husband? This is wow! Also that room is gross, I love that you address nonbinary people here. That's awesome. If he didn't change her, why is she still changing to his "tastes" can she subconsciously read his mind too? Oh this is awesome. I'm curious, are we gonna get any hints of Erica's past, maybe to help us believe she was always an egg a bit more?
Author's Response: that room *is* gross, on that we can agree. and yes, i think we'll need to see more of our protagonist's past, to flesh this out more. as i've said, i don't think Eric was an unhappy young man... but then again he lived in a world where he didn't know it was possible to magically transform into the opposite sex. more to come. xo, charlotte
Date: 04/24/19 06:53 am Title: Place Settings
Alistair should have done a much better job of prepping Eric(kuh) to meet his family. Can't wait to see what happens next.
Author's Response: something tells me there is little Ally could have done to stop any of this from happening exactly as it did. and he maybe wanted Erica to experience this with open eyes? and react honestly to all of this silliness. thank you so much for reading, Elron. xo, charlotte
Date: 04/24/19 04:09 am Title: Place Settings
I like the banter between the family members. You have an interesting family dynamic set up here, with the head of the household also having zero magical power. Looking forward to the next chapter.
Author's Response: well i must be doing something right if folks are looking forward to stuff. thanks for reading. xo, charlotte
Date: 04/24/19 01:49 am Title: Place Settings
An interesting take in this chapter. You chose to invest multiple dialogues in Eric/a's mind, but less inner thoughts from our protagonist. Kinda loopy. XD
So it looks as if at least one member of the family is aware of this deal / debt. And I kinda agree with how quickly this getting hitched thing is going all too fast, but like I said; kinda. I have no idea of the "why" this is happening, yet. It's definitely not a shotgun wedding, that's for sure. ;)
As for the mother... I found that funny: mortal, but ageless. So without her having that magic touch, does that actually mean she wouldn't have known about Ally's bride-to-be having an alternate history? We saw that Alistair wanted to lie to them about being married, so there was that.
And forget the genders for a second, I wanna talk about reality being altered to accommodate everyone's needs here. If the case was to get married, then I'm confused why this portion of the family is against this match. How reality has been established here, it can easily be twisted around a ring finger to the point of the Warlock's liking. I mean, if age isn't a problem here (which is with me), then what's their issue with a bicentennial man marrying a teenager? It wouldn't be any weirder than Prudence marrying Eric and announcing to her kids: "This is your new Daddy." Instead, it looks as if they're hung up with our protagonist's social class isn't equal or higher than theirs, how this is being rushed, and apparently because there's an impression Ally can do better. Again, forget about their gender here. This just confuses me for one reason: Alistair made it clear his life was dependent on this marriage, and I see his family taking his choice of a bride as either a joke by the sister or an offense by the mother.
That was a mouthful, and hopefully all that I said made sense... o_o
...I'm still recalling that mentioning of coupling with an ogre here, and I'm left wondering; why had his family not received him better? He obviously brought back someone better. O_o?
So ya know, I'm reading and enjoying this, but just as I'm being immersed into the story through Eric/a's perspective, those questions are popping in my head. I am stuck on why they're not bothering Eric/a as much as me. The only answer I have is: you know more than I do on what's going on here. XD
And we need more funny business! This site is cool, but it is seriously lacking in enough humor to counterbalance what else is found here. -_-
Author's Response: well, most of my stories are 'light' as i don't really much like being sad or scared all the time. there's too much of that in real life. one point of criticism here that i do take to heart is that with all these new chracters and settings, we are getting further away from an introspective POV on Erica's part. she's just been too bombarded to think. that should change shortly. i want to give her breathing room, a chance to reflect and assess all of this craziness. as far as Ally's sister belittling him and his mother not approving, well, that just might be who they are as people. that or Ally has proven to be a complete mess in his life and this is just another in a long series of failed relationships that they have watched go up in smoke. maybe it is up to him (and Erica) to make them take this more seriously. we'll see. and Ally at least has Erica here with him. they may not be married but all hope is not lost. thank you for reading. xo, charlotte
Date: 04/24/19 01:12 am Title: Place Settings
This is harsh... poor Erica... no one deserves to be treated like this... I kinda hope Alistair's other sister is much nicer. I hope she's okay... missing that's so sad...
Author's Response: Alistair's other sister is a mortal so... who knows how different she may or may not be. her story is only just beginning. xo, charlotte
Date: 04/23/19 10:58 pm Title: Place Settings
I really REALLY dislike Esmeralda. I'm not sure where Erica is on the gender spectrum, but Esmeralda seems to know what she thinks and it doesn't seem like she will change her mind any time soon.
Honestly, right now she reminds me of my bigoted family members from right after I came out as trans, but maybe I'm just reading to much into it.
Regardless the story is going along amazingly, I just wish there were more to read.
Best of luck with the next chapter,
Author's Response: 'amazingly'? why thank you, Lady Yuki. you make me blush. with regard to Esmeralda... i think her behavior is more about belittling her brother than it is being mean to Erica. i think. we may see her change a bit in the future, once Erica is more of a fixture. of course Erica will need to stand up for who and what she is in order for Ezzie to be put in her place. xo, charlotte
Date: 04/23/19 07:48 am Title: No. No, I Donít Think So. No. No, Most Certainly Not
I'm sure Alistair's mother will warm up to Erica, right?
And sisters are always a pain in the ass, especially when you bring a new girl home.
Looks like the newlyweds are in for quite an exciting time on the farm. Mooo.
Author's Response: one of the things i'm trying to do is stack the deck against Alistair. he's basically alone in a sea of estrogen. missing father, pain in the a** sisters, a well-meaning but out of touch mother. and now a reluctant (to put it lightly) bride. masculinity isn't supposed to come off great in this story, but it's not like Ally has any role models at all. xo, charlotte
Date: 04/17/19 07:38 pm Title: Not Without His Bride
Forgive me if my reviews are causing this story to become a challenge. Just let me know if ya don't wanna hear from me again, 'kay? ;)
Author's Response: writing anything is always a challenge. i would never tell anyone who cared enough to comment not to! xo, charlotte
Date: 04/17/19 10:14 am Title: No. No, I Donít Think So. No. No, Most Certainly Not
I think everyone agreed in the TGS Discord that this week was a slow one, so no worries on the update. Not like you have a deadline or anything. XD
So I actually read this hours ago (almost 14 hours) just before I left for work. That gave me a lot of time to think over what I had read. And I'm not sure how I feel about where this story is going. I'm not gonna rant, but rather tell ya my confusion. Also, sorry about how confusing this might sound too. I really meant it when I said I am literally confused.
To start off this... whatever I am about to write is gonna be: Eric was a seventeen year old boy who still lived with his parents. Understandable and expected. And just before he was to have a birthday, he gets a big unwelcomed surprise by not just transforming into his female counterpart, but having all reality shift over to where he was alternatively a she all along. The cherry on the top being Eric/a still retains the knowledge of who they were originally.
...Yeah, that can really suck, but if that miraculously hadn't happened, this would've been considered a mild variant of identity death. (I am learning there are degrees to IDs in comparison to murders.) Now here are some points I want to show: Erica (not Eric) had some brief relationships with boyfriends. Between the two versions of Eric/a, those relationships went a bit beyond being just as friends. Now those experiences were soaked into this Erica's memories and revealed to us viewers by dialogue. We never actually got to see this Eric/a display any kind of interest in what was remembered, in fact, we got the shocked and panicked features from our MC in response.
Do note: we've established from Alistair own words that Eric and Erica are two different people, otherwise the warlock would not have specifically asked Eric for his opinion about marrying him. Which I might add, the whole response from Eric had revolved around how magic was pretty damn cool. As for Eric/a, she attempted to state that wasn't them truly answering, but that response was shot down quickly by Alistair stating it was him specifically asking Eric and not Erica.
Now there is a reason why I brought this up.
We've already gotten wind from Alistair that their bodies were/are morphing to the shape likened by their partner -- no idea if they're done yet. But we get Alistair still as a guy? Here's my issue: Eric/a was almost mindlessly turned on by the female version of Alistair. It was getting to the point that she was incapable of having another thought other than the babe that slept in bed with her.
Okay, yeah, I know this isn't about this chapter, but I'm getting there. XD
So far from what I've seen, this version of Eric/a (not the memory version that's in her head to reinforce how she should be, but the one we have been following along with in this marriage fiasco) but, yeah, this version had shown a huge example of being interested in women more than the kind of guy she's being stuck with for the rest of her life. (No idea if Ally here is gonna outlive her or not.)
Now onto what we've seen in this chapter. We got to meet the sis first, and then the mom, which both appeared to have a very unusual approach to the whole wife business. I want us to remember here that Alistair had an Ogre as a spouse before, and he mentioned switching his marital role before. But disregarding Alistair having been with men before, I mean, the fact that Eric/a had a forced transition is a bigger deal than Alistair previously being married to Shrek? That's what got his family to consider Eric/a as a joke? O_o?
...I may be very wrong about this, but I'm getting a huge red flag that Alistair is possibly fucking with Eric/a's mind. Noted before, the protagonist's sexual orientation is totally contradicting what was remembered as a supposed past experience(s.) And now I've started to believe this family introduction is nothing more than Alistair performing a magic show to earn sympathy points.
Again, again, and again: this is my interpretation as I am getting immersed as Eric/a. To be honest, I personally wouldn't have packed a damn thing and stated I wasn't driving off with a fop like that guy to begin with, but that's me. As for how I am comprehending everything, I very well can be wrong about it all, and I might have missed or forgotten something important. But down to the initial line I made about my confusion on where this is all going: I feel like this has been done before here. We have a kid who's first been forced into something against their will, then tricked into believing this is what they wanted all along. And we end with the two having a happily ever after.
The Warlock's Wife. Yeah, that's the cover title. I don't know why, but I keep wanting Eric/a to find some way not to end up like this. Especially since this is her mother's fault. If anything, that woman was the one who tried to screw Alistair out of whatever this had been all about. Revert her back to a teen and wipe the father's mind, they divorced, and Alistair can have his wife. Otherwise this is no different than using their child as a pawn to get what they want.
Fuck, sorry... that had gone into rant territory. I am to blame for that. Bad parents really rubs me the wrong way. It's like how some here can't stand the sight of heterosexual relationships.
Back to this... this thingy I'm writing: I might be skipping ahead of where I was going with that... Let me try to explain? *Cringes* o_o
We are up to meeting the family and old folks, but before all of that, the one thing that had Eric/a hooked into tagging along with Alistair was that his life was in jeopardy if she refused. Okay, well, here's the thing: Esmeraldas and the mother are both not taking this like Alistair had no choice. This chapter was what got me on the whole thinking thingy and I wrote this thingy down.
This chapter highlighted a huge sign telling me that the whole truth here isn't what we were led to believe. And I am getting the vibes that Alistair is more than just messing with Eric/a's head, otherwise Eric/a wouldn't have to be questioning why her "husband" hasn't gone through any of the tastefully fitting transformations yet. It would explain why he has shown complete ignorance to her questions.
I'm not expecting any or all of this to have a response, but rather I'd like it if you think over what I've said. I really do enjoy the humor and how much lighter this story is in comparison to many others here. You are in no way near the depravity of putting characters into a non-consenting relationship. I mean, Hell, Alistair hasn't even pushed Eric/a on the consummation once she gave him her answer. That's cool in my book. Okay, last note: I feel it is Alistair's fault for attracting those demons to Eric/a in the first place. Had he not picked the obvious place (he knew those baddies were there and just wanted to either show off or give Eric/a a reason to consummate this marriage sooner rather than later), but, yeah, none of what happened in that dinner would have, well, happened! So, nyah! There! XD
Author's Response: way more than i could ever unpack or respond to here, suffice to say thank you so so much for taking the time to comment. i think it's helpful to point out that there are several different 'pairings' represented in this story. there's Eric in an Eric body (according to Eric himself, he's straight) (though Eric has fantasies of what it might be like to live as a woman) (and has admitted to being shy to squeamish of actual sex). there's Erica from Erica's reality (again, what little we've seen of this heavily implies Erica, too, is straight) (you and others will just have to take my word for this, but we haven't seen a pure form of Erica and we probably never will). then things get vastly more complicated when we have an Erica in an Erica body. one of the central questions i'm interested in exploring here is what happens when a guy (who again, has already fantasized about what it might be like to be female) who prefers women (i.e. gets off on at least the idea of guy + girl sex) suddenly finds themself in a female body. now i would argue what happens next would differ greatly from person to person. for Eric specifically, given his own complicated sexuality, i am arguing there's a restless, squirmy kind of 'fit'. no immediate need (or knowledge as to how) to swap back to male. and then, in terms of preference, well, it's super snarled. attraction to both sexes? and there's the novelty of the way their own body gets excited. of course none of this matters unless i am able to successfully depict this on the page. of which i seem to be singularly incapable of, given everyone's comments. xo, charlotte
Date: 04/11/19 07:05 am Title: The Large Spoon to His Little
I get the feeling that even if Alistair lives with his mother he doesn't live in the basement, playing video games and surfing porn on the internet - at least not all the time.
And it's nice that he will adapt himself to Eric's physical needs. I'm sure every guy would do that if he could.
Can't wait to meet the in-laws.
Author's Response: key phrase 'at least not all the time'. xo, charlotte
Date: 04/11/19 06:07 am Title: The Large Spoon to His Little
You know, I'm gonna take back something I said about these two being a couple. They still are, but in a bad way. The whole Ogre thing made me rethink this.
One little note before I begin: this is all just a theory! I am not pointing this out as a fact, so please remember how wrong I could be about everything. o_o
See, the more I keep reading into Alistair's behavior pattern, the more I am gathering he doesn't entirely care if this relationship were to work. It is more like he's just taking the deal that made Eric/a's circumstances the way they are for granted. That this marriage is being mutually viewed as a sham, but Alistair has no doubts he'll get what he wants in the end. So he literally can be a literally jerk if he wants to, but he'd rather just be his ignorant self and wait until Eric/a figures these things out.
To make this short and blunt: It no longer feels like he's giving this bride space, but rather showing off how much of an idiot Eric/a is for not getting this deal done and over with already. Honestly, those two living together might last a decade or more, but I don't see them being an old couple. With that in mind, I believe then he can live his unnaturally long life and wait until his next spouse comes of age.
Again, this is all theory here and I could be so very-very wrong. XD
Author's Response: Alistair maybe doesn't care that he and Erica work out as a couple in some respects, but he is deeply invested in getting what he needs out of it in terms of that all important debt hanging over his head. Erica being magical obviously complicates just how easy him getting what he wants will be (it also probably makes Erica more... enticing in some regards?) but he's got to try something because he's in some serious jeopardy if things don't work out here as 'fated'. and his unnaturally long life will come to a rather sudden end if that's the case. xo, charlotte
Date: 04/10/19 05:38 pm Title: The Large Spoon to His Little
Wha... oh that'd be a major deal breaker for me. What in the world... he lives with his MOTHER. Oh God.... hopefully she's not mean to Erica, but ugh... this dude really doesn't have much going for him does he...
Author's Response: what are you talking about? << that's sarcasm by the way :-p Alistair has tons going for him. like... his magic? and... his... magic? and don't forget his sparkling... magic? i love how hard you are on Alistair (and deservedly so). xo, charlotte
Date: 04/10/19 04:43 pm Title: The Large Spoon to His Little
Thats unexpected, an all powerful warlock with might powers over the universe, still lives with his mother.
And since he thinks they will like each other I can only assume they share similar views. Heck she may even punish him by changing him into a woman or something for a month or so for messing with mortals or others.
Author's Response: i'm sitting on a lot of plots and don't want spoil anything but i love all of what you say here. and glad i was still able to toss out something unexpected. xo, charlotte
Date: 04/06/19 09:24 am Title: What Men and Their Wives Do
Ya know, I want to make a statement here.
In comparison to what I write, this is a much happier and sunny story when in contrast to many other forced transformations, and these characters are so far from being in the dumps. Such an example would be what has been going on with my protagonist in Bullied (not gonna get into that here, let's just say my MC is a little beyond suicidal.) But, yeah, place Eric/a next to my Clint, and your MC is gonna be seen living a mile high dream.
Now I get that this is a bit more than an arranged marriage, it is forced, but I got that Alistair's manipulative behavior had gone so far before he started dropping some of his strategies. As like him trying to make the best of it rather than making Eric/a's new life a living Hell. That really could've happened. Look at Eric/a's parents for one example, or the waitress in the dinner. Both of those events displayed a total control over who was doing what there. Nothing here has yet to warrant (or be proven with justification) anyone should be getting bitch slapped.
...Not unless this whole thing was a charade and Alistair just fed the mom some lines to confuse and distract Eric/a from the very beginning. Um, please don't let that be the case. That would be a low blow. o_o
In any case, I am really digging the inner dialogue narrative humor. XD
Last statement before I call it in. This is your fantasy, and it is an escape for us stuck in reality here. I don't care how unrealistic it can get, just so long as you entertain me. I like having fun writing and reading. You're doing a good job at keeping me interested for a reason. :)
Author's Response: i'm not sure i can write a story that isn't at least a little happy. Erica's present situation hinges upon her at least not hating this new life... or maybe even semi-secretly preferring it. yes, this was forced because she didn't get a say (and never imagined this was possible) but we are rapidly getting to the point where she could probably undo all of this... and isn't? and maybe we need to explore the 'why' here. and Alistair is manipulative but at least he's (probably?) honest with her. he doesn't seem to be the lying type, at least not with the woman he wants to marry. whereas Erica's parents on the other hand. Alistair could make things difficult for her but he doesn't strike me as the type to prefer some zombie wife who is brainwashed and does everything he says. and anyways he's been around for a loooong time. he's possibly gone that route before? and knows it doesn't end well. although again i'm not sure he's the villain everyone deems him to be. people can be s*** t y humans and yet not be evil. i'm glad you like the humor. i couldn't write without that. glad you're still interested. xo, charlotte
Date: 04/06/19 12:53 am Title: What Men and Their Wives Do
I guess if all these changes had happened to me I would first have spent a little time checking out my new anatomy. No more than a week. Then I would have started pestering Alistair for answers about what my parents did to get me into this mess. Finally, I'd want to know a whole lot more about my MAGIC V*****!
I think that even though Erica won't let Alistair put a ring on it, yet, she is still being a little too accepting of her new situation.
And of course, since Erica has the perfect tutor right next to her in bed, I would want to take advantage of the opportunity to learn more about my girly parts.
Oh yeah: 'food baby'. You kill me, Charlotte!
Author's Response: Elron, sure. of course she's being to accepting. there are other versions of this story where she isn't and she tells the warlock to go f--- himself back at her house and never sees him again. where (without a teacher) she never really understands her powers (indeed, they never even surface) and she goes to school as a girl. and then there are versions of that story where she lives the rest of her life that way (at least until the apocalypse Alistair was trying to avert comes crashing down and kills all life on earth) and another version where she at some point (college?) lucks into inadvertently changing herself back into a boy... but wasn't strong enough to reshape reality and now her family and the world just think she's a transgender man (and then the apocalypse comes crashing down because, oh, right, Alistair's quest failed here, too). but my story is the one where Erica takes a risk. where she jumps off that cliff and into the unknown. where Alistair is the closest thing she has to a friend and ally. where the world gets way stranger and more complicated (i'm not kidding about that apocalypse) (or am i?) and she gets stronger and more confident. or something. as always thanks for reading. xo, charlotte
Date: 04/05/19 09:11 pm Title: My Vagina is Magic
Really sad to see the "husband" becoming female as well.
Author's Response: ...but he's not? he simply made Erica feel more comfortable for the night? Alistair is WAY to proud (not to mention arrogant and conceited) to surrender his form so easily. to say nothing of the fact that all his power lies in his male form. i'm sorry my writing was unclear. xo, charlotte
Date: 04/05/19 01:47 am Title: My Vagina is Magic
This is my opinion: Eric never had as much power gifted to him, but Erica has it going on. And that was implied in more than one manner. ;)
With Alistair being another good example of my earlier opinion and this next statement: power had gone to their heads. This implication could be taken in an unintentional lewd direction for Alistair, but how that warlock was previously asserting himself, it truly might be his official doubled standard. XD
Now if I'm correct, the female variant of Alistair can't use magic, but can she still use that magic stick that Erica is not allowed to touch? O_o?
Author's Response: one thing i will need to show is that Eric was happen. he was 'normal' and 'average' but he was perfectly happy. and just because Erica has power to spare doesn't necessarily mean she will be as happy in this new life. though i'm not in the business of writing sad stories so who knows. i will continue to imply that there is something about magic that brings out 'the beast'. in other words, emotions and raw things that we may not always be proud of but are not in and of themselves bad. just things that are usually kept under lock and key. lastly, i like where you are thinking RE: Alistair's scepter. i would also bet that he put some sort of timer on his TG so that it will eventually wear off and he'll be back to his old sleazy self. xo, charlotte
Date: 04/04/19 09:06 pm Title: My Vagina is Magic
I'll save the best for last:
First - the food. A feast like that would certainly weigh in favor of becoming Alistair's wife.
Second - muggle. As a female, Alistair has no magical powers. So how does he return to being male? Does Erica have to change him back?
Finally - a MAGIC VAGINA! I've read thousands of stories on TG sites and never came across that phrase. Even did a document search. I love it!
Where do I sign up for one? Amazon? You have the best way with words, Charlotte!
Author's Response: Elron! i always love your comments XD i'll go into more detail in a different comment reply, but Alistair's feminine alter-ego isn't completely powerless. and i am saddened to hear that nowhere in your reading travels have you come across a magical v*****. this is me shaking my head at the TG writing community. get it together, people. xo, charlotte
Date: 04/04/19 07:44 pm Title: My Vagina is Magic
Umm... what... their genitals are magick? That's... different ... oO
Author's Response: hehe, not literally. it's just in this world (almost every) magic user is limited by their biological sex. in other words they can wield magic as a man but not as a woman, or vice versa. something happens when (or if) they swap sexes so that they can't, like, channel it anymore. or maybe for some reason the ambient magical forces in the world won't obey them or recognize their authority? but yeah, their magic isn't housed in their junk. xo, charlotte
Date: 04/02/19 03:44 pm Title: Huh
Charlotte, you are incapable of writing mediocre chapters. You could make cleaning out belly button lint seem erotic.
Can't wait to see what the after-shower brings.
Author's Response: one erotic belly button lint cleaning chapter coming up :-p xo, charlotte
Date: 04/01/19 07:19 pm Title: Huh
Oh snap so she was an egg all along! Still though Alistair needs to respect her boundaries, I get he wants his wife, because of not dying and all but trust after all takes a bit of time and work.
Author's Response: hopefully Alistair is learning as much about himself as Erica is about herself through all of this. xo, charlotte
Date: 04/01/19 07:12 pm Title: Huh
With as many who are commenting on your work, I'd say that detail of just "some" enjoying this is a gross underestimated statement. XD
Now I like the description you had for Eric/a, and how you had both states of mine in before and after mulling over their sexual self-pleasuring experiences. That could go somewhere, but not sure in which direction yet. After all, I've learned from being here that identity and orientation are two different things. ;)
Overall, pretty cool chapter with the protagonist nearly have a private moment to figure out more intimate details about them self. :)
Author's Response: thank you, MrSimple. hopefully i've made it so that Erica's identity and orientation are complicated and resistant to rigid labels. i'm perhaps too easygoing of a person with a fluid concept of gender and view our protagonist here as even more fluid still. as shy as s/he is about actual sex, i think s/he is open-minded about imagining most anything from either side of the anatomical divide. meaning, just like it is or i hope should be with most people, it less about the body s/he has or the one s/he is with and much about trust and closeness. in the end those are the things which will allow her to be intimate with someone. xo, charlotte
Date: 03/25/19 08:13 pm Title: The Budding Rose Motel
I keep yoyoing between being very intrigued, very validated and hating this story. I keep telling myself I need to stop reading because this is clearly not going in a direction I like, but then I read it anyway because the chapters are so short, and somehow it does take a direction adjacent enough to what I want that I feel like it wouldn’t be right to swerve off the road just yet. It’s maddening.
Author's Response: 'a direction adjacent enough' is another compliment... i think? i will happily call the tow service if you founder when you swerve off the side of the road. then again maybe my story is the one swerving off and you can stay safe and keep on the road. thank you for reading in either case. xo, charlotte
Date: 03/25/19 04:13 pm Title: The Budding Rose Motel
It's hard to picture a more awkward, yet funny, hotel scene than this one. Especially when they can communicate telepathically. And I think she will touch his magic wand, er scepter, at some point.
Please keep it coming, Charlotte. I think you promised me 300 chapters :)
Author's Response: 300 chapters it is. another one should be posted tomorrow or the next day. i've been on holiday. xo, charlotte
Date: 03/24/19 08:34 pm Title: Apples and Oranges
Ya know, I feel like Alistair is secretly not happy about this arranged marriage. Like he came in not knowing what to expect, but up to this point, he's pent up with what fate stuck him with.
I don't need to say how Erica feels about this situation. There's enough revealed in those thoughts which I know are being influenced since the Warlock had to ask both Eric and Erica their opinions of their circumstances. Plus enough folks in the reviewers section are stating their opinion.
Right now in their social relationship, they have reached the "Bickering Couple" stage. And they're a couple. Maybe not a married couple, but on second thought this marriage isn't following state and country laws here. If I'm theorizing correctly, it's whatever power-that-be which will bind them and calls the shots whether they are legitimately married.
One a side note: I can say it is not an unofficial sequel to The Fiance by smchronos, I recommend giving it a read, it's sadly incomplete, but the two chapters it has is both funny and interesting. But the frustratingly ignorant parents in that story... yeesh! Talk about selective hearing. XD
Yeah, and on another side note: the one thing that has rubbed me the wrong way has always been the bad parent element. We still are not getting a better picture of Eric/a's parents being anything more than horrible for selling their child off to a stranger. Unless that is intentional? Are we supposed to feel as angry and confused as Eric/a? O_o?
...Last side note: on the topic of angry and confused, I think you succeeded in immersing the readers into Eric/a's position. They want what's best for the MC and to stick their boot where the sun don't shine in Alistair. XD
Author's Response: wow, so many good points! i may not hit all of them but that doesn't mean you aren't making me think. thank you! without giving way too much, i think it's safe to say that there is loads about Alistair that's yet to be revealed. he's been allowed to operate as a lone figure, and that means privately and on his own terms, but this will change soon(-ish) when his extended family finally makes their appearance. because this story is about families, good and bad. i love that you call E + A a 'bickering couple'. mostly because i'm not sure they are even friends. let alone a couple? also, i will give that suggestion a read. and we haven't seen the last of Erica's parents. there's more going on with them than has been allowed to show through. i won't go so far as to say they aren't conflicted or capable of outrageously terrible decisions, but still. thank you thank you for your comment. xo, charlotte
Date: 03/23/19 12:12 pm Title: Apples and Oranges
Pretty good except for the rant in chapter 7 on gender roles. So Eric/Erica wouldn’t mind getting told to do something if it wasn’t a man? Authority in any kind is bad if a person can decide him-/herself.
Author's Response: glad you mostly liked things? i was hoping some of the themes of this story were clearer, among them mistrust of authority and learning to question if not challenge one's parents and elders, etc. something else for me to work on! xo.charlotte
Date: 03/23/19 02:36 am Title: Not Without His Bride
There is no indication in universe that Eric(a) does, in fact, like it, nor any confirmation they can reverse it if they wish, nor any indication the magic hasn’t shifted their train of thought so as to prevent them from wanting to reverse it. This is a very poor reply that side steps the issue. Torture is still torture even when the main character is a masochist, to continue the metaphor.
Author's Response: good points. believing something to be true and (as the author) knowing it to be true is not the same as having it be there on the page. i'll try and do better to show Erica if not outright enjoying her situation then at least her being curious and open to new things. i wish i could dispel your worry that magic has somehow infiltrated Erica's train of thought. I thought I was doing a good job showing how resilient she has been. Erica is not like her parents. or most mortals and maybe what i need to do is show how Alistair may not be the omnipotent master spell-caster he takes himself to be. i wouldn't want to label Erica as a masochist outright, so again i need to show her enjoying even small day-to-day aspects of her new reality. there are several reveals down the line that i think will help with some of your reservations but for right all i can do is tell you that my hero/ine is not in distress, that while her new situation may be stressful, it's not causing her anguish. and that s/he's been shown to use powerful magic when put on the spot. if she felt pained / any other emotion intensely enough, whatever was causing her said harm would be targeted and dealt with very swiftly. thank you very very much for your thoughts. we may disagree but that doesn't mean i am right and you are wrong. xo, charlotte
Date: 03/22/19 11:06 am Title: Apples and Oranges
So, Erica is going to go through puberty in her sleep. That's cool.
The implication is that the 'couple' have not worn their rings at the same time yet. With all the magic surrounding Alistair and Erica, it wouldn't surprise me if Erica suddenly becomes more compliant when they both put them on. Just thinking ahead.
Author's Response: kind of? i mean she was already a fully grown human woman albeit a slight and extraordinarily petite one. without going into too much detail, i'm guessing Alistair's spell is unlocking parts of her DNA and, uh, increasingly maximizing certain traits. for instance there aren't any redheads in her family tree (maybe) and so Alistair's spell couldn't ever turn her hair red. whereas there are outliers in her family tree in terms of height and figure, etc. in other words i doubt Alistair can full-stop change Erica's genetic code. she'll always be the child of her parents, etc. i do like your train of thought re: the rings. xo, charlotte
Date: 03/22/19 06:41 am Title: Apples and Oranges
Nice just as Alistair gets slapped in his face for being such an incredible douche his spells gives him what he wanted anyway. I’m sorry are we still in the torture porn part of the story or something? When’s the dude gonna get his deserved poetic justice, and when will Eric(a) get the break they clearly demonstrated they deserve? But no every time something goes right for them something else comes back to bite them in the butt as if they fucked something up. Please.
Author's Response: torture to me implies something that is causing tremendous pain and or agony on a person, and is done (obviously) without their consent. you get a check-mark for the second part but i think Erica protests a bit too much. she makes a fuss about not liking what is happening, but she's already more powerful, more confident and objectively more attractive than she used to be. it may not be the sex of her birth or the person she imagined she'd grow up to be, but this is not a person who is outright rejecting such a dramatic change. i have a feeling, given what she's already displayed, if she was truly unhappy about, say, not having a p****, she could undo the magic reality warp. xo, charlotte
Date: 03/22/19 01:11 am Title: Apples and Oranges
He's really not winning points here. Dude, treat her better or lose her and lose your life. Be honest and stop being all dodgy and sketch! Like... even if your life were in danger I wouldn't marry you when you act like this. You need to show love, caring, kindness, more than just "Oh I gotta marry because reasons." Yes they may be "important" reasons but still. You cant just expect someone to marry you out of the blue.
Author's Response: i'll reiterate that the title of this story is 'The Warlock's Wife'. the plot will always revolve around in what ways our hero/ine is and is not this guy's wife. whether that be in scare quotes or not. right now Erica is pushing back hard. i just hope her motivations here are still visible. she once had a very normal pedestrian life. then she found out her parents had been keeping secrets and lying to her all her life. the ground was taken out from under her and now she's exhibiting supernatural abilities. with the one person in her life who can also wield magic just so happening to be the man who turned everything upside down in the first place and, even though it was through underhanded means, shed some light on the truth. i just don't want it to be unbelievable that Erica is going down this particular path. xo, charlotte
Date: 03/19/19 03:12 am Title: Not Without His Bride
Is the waitress name supposed to be different with every mention of it?
Anyway really enjoying the story. Can't wait to see Erica learn more about her abilities.
Author's Response: yes, that was the (decidedly unfunny) joke. thanks for reading! xo, charlotte
Date: 03/19/19 12:35 am Title: Without a Reliable Map
He's got to EARN it, so far all he's done is bull doze his way in, alter her body against her will. Prove your'e not just a controlling douchebag, after all you made it so she couldn't even hear what you were talking about with her parents. You are treating her like a child, not an equal. I'd tell you to fudge off too.
Dude needs a slice of humble pie and I'm glad Erica can give it to him.
Author's Response: for me, and i of anyone should probably know the answer to this, i am forced to wonder... is Alistair taking advantage of this situation like he has with everything else? using this scare to frighten Erica into a hasty marriage? or is there some truth to what he is saying? is there some invisible magical bullseye on someone like Erica that might be cast aside were she to marry? in what way is power bound up in her 'idealized' sexuality, and is this just a construct that (male) demons and beings like Alistair perceive? would she end up sacrificing power (magical or otherwise) were she to go along with the warlock? or would her powers only grow if the two of them came together in a balanced partnership? questions, questions. xo, charlotte
Date: 03/18/19 11:41 pm Title: Without a Reliable Map
Ouch, I was kinda rooting for a rejection since the way Alistair did things was kinda BS with all the reality alternation he did, but man the way that rejection played even hurt me in a spiritual physical sense from a mans point of view. But hey I support her for being an individual, not just taking the lazy river and going with the flow.
Author's Response: i mean her fate is still tied to Alistair's in many ways. not least of which the debt he took on of Rebecca's. from Eric's perspective, Alistair is the one person she knows who might have insight into what she actually is and what she can do. so maybe not wife, but... protege? xo, charlotte
Date: 03/18/19 10:43 pm Title: Without a Reliable Map
Wow, Erica is full of surprises!
First, she vanquishes a pair of demons; then she bails just an "I do" short of marrying a wizard, oops I mean warlock. I hope she's not just holding out for a bigger rock. You know how women are when it comes to jewelry.
I liked the improvisation of the newly - ordained minister. She has a future in Vegas.
Keep it up, Charlotte, this ride is really shifting into high gear.
Author's Response: and you haven't even met Alistair's family yet... xo, charlotte
Date: 03/15/19 03:34 am Title: (More) Antiquated Notions of Virginity
Another piece of the puzzle - Erica can do magic!
Author's Response: at this point, not to be crass, it's more like the magic is doing Erica. not much control or thought involved. we'll see how long she stays in the padawan stage. xo, charlotte
Date: 03/14/19 11:36 pm Title: (More) Antiquated Notions of Virginity
Great chapter. Btw. What kind of sit in restraunt is that, where the orders are numbers? Unless it's a fast food, they usually dont have numbers.
Author's Response: i'm sure the different items on the menu have names, too. it was just easier for the waitstaff and customer to say 'number eight' instead of '2 pancakes, 3 scrambled eggs, a side of bacon, some toast, hashbrowns, coffee, etc etc' xo, charlotte
Date: 03/14/19 11:24 pm Title: All of the Second Thoughts
I would choose to live as a woman but not be his wife.
Author's Response: i'm sure there's some alternate timeline where this happened. and another where s/he somehow demanded things be undone and against all odds managed to get Alistair to do it. my argument is that something intrinsic to Eric/a just doesn't care if s/he's 'stuck' as a girl. or at least not enough to barter further with a warlock. i'd be real curious what % of people would completely refuse and demand to be changed back. probably a higher % of people than i think. people are so dumb about bodies. smh. xo, charlotte
Date: 03/14/19 08:36 pm Title: (More) Antiquated Notions of Virginity
The girl has skills! Lol
Author's Response: my big question (says the author where nothing should still be a question) is why Erica can use magic but Eric... never did? it's possible that it's just a quirk from one reality to the other, and when Alistair unlocked 'Erica World', he inadvertently awakened her magic? but there would need to be some kind of magic in order for Eric to resist at all as that first spell was being cast. my guess is right now, Eric/a is young enough (and untrained) that using magic is super unlikely. she basically had to be staring death in the face to use it in the diner. and as other readers have put it, her old identity was looking at a different kind of death, and it, too, fought back. so there ya go. td;dr version? yeah. Erica got skillz. xo, charlotte
Date: 03/13/19 06:34 pm Title: Not Without His Bride
Ok, so, I have a lot of feelings about this story. I've been talking about it for the last hour after reading it all in one sitting.
First - I think you're doing something right with the characters. Anytime a story makes me feel strong emotions towards its characters, then those characters are well written.
Second - Please don't try and force some sort of bullshit sexuality change on Eric/a. Sexuality comes from the mind and soul, not the body. What's happened here is a fucking kid has had their entire life turned upside down by a random magic user and somehow, through their own sheer force of will, has avoided being erased out of existence. This "straight" conversion that's happening to them, that isn't them. That's the remnants of the woman Alistair's spell was supposed to turn them into.
If things went according to plan, Eric was supposed to die and be replaced by Erica.
Third - Screw the parents. I hope they get their just desserts.
Fourth - I'm serious. This story needs to end with a subversion of the usual tropes and with the kid getting their autonomy back. It's pretty obvious that Eric/a is some sort of enby, possibly genderfluid or agender, but I'll be pretty fucking pissed if they get forced full-femme and actually having to bear this dude's kid. Just let the kid be into whoever they want to be, be whoever they want to be, and fuck, give them their dick back if they want it. I literally was about to punch my screen when Alistair said he "won't" change them back.
But yeah. I've read your other author responses and I'm worried that this is gonna end with some sort of indoctrination into the wife-role for Eric/a here. Please don't let that happen. Let them be the little enby that they are.
(saving rating for until the story is over, or until I reach a point where I can't read it anymore)
Author's Response: you had me at 'i have a lot of feelings'. and i had a prof who used to say something along the lines of strong emotional response mean the text is doing work, so i'll take that as a compliment, FinallyFeminine. interesting that you go straight to the 'soul'. and that you link it with the mind. i am fascinated with notions of subjectivity, what makes us, well, us. so we'll be encountering notions of the 'soul' again in this work. and you say so many wonderful, insightful, cut-right-to-the-quick things. it's my hope that every reader feels as much you do while reading this. as far as the sexuality of the protagonist is concerned, i think i've been fairly consistent about how... skittish of actual sex and sex parts s/he is. this is not to say s/he doesn't or can't feel sexy. or doesn't or can't feel sexual pleasure. it's just that maybe physical sex acts, be they gay or straight, are too much. too intense. thank you so much for your thoughts, i loved reading each and every one of them. xo, charlotte
Date: 03/13/19 03:45 pm Title: Not Without His Bride
Maybe there's a drive-in nearby showing 'Texas Chainsaw Massacre'. After taking in the cinematic masterpiece in all its glory they can park by the lake with a bottle of Boone's Farm. A truly memorable first date for the soon-to-be blushing bride.
Hey, at least Erica will have someone to buy booze for her until she turns 21. Gotta look at the bright side!
Author's Response: one of my top five favorite films of all-time. can't get behind the discount 'wine' though. xo, charlotte
Date: 03/12/19 02:13 pm Title: Bessie's
You had to spiced it up, ok some exciting stuff now. You are just adding more questions. Enjoying the storyline, longer chapters please
Author's Response: yup, some spicy, sulfur-y flavor. kick it up a notch. bam, and so forth. yes, there should be more and more questions. glad you are enjoying things! sorry, but the chapters will remain in the 800-1,000 range. xo, charlotte
Date: 03/12/19 02:03 pm Title: Bessie's
Ugh, my head was spinning when I read this chapter. Not your fault, I pulled an all-nighter to ensure I had my latest chapter of Bullied uploaded. So under the circumstances, reading this was a delightful pain. XD
I want to ask a question, but not really sure why I should. I mean, if I do, I don't know if the question is a good one. Reason I say that is because it feels like I'm jabbing at your story again.
So, yeah, I'll ask, but please feel free to ignore it. Is he manipulating her? He's obviously playing mind games (the whole "I'm hungry if your not" followed that one up nicely enough.) I know she's being forced into this situation, but now I'm getting the impression that she's being tricked.
Please, again, don't mind my question if you feel it is being pushy. I don't want to deter you from completing this story (or change it on behalf of whatever suggestive stuff we say either.) Unless it is to correct a continuity error or something, then, yeah, I'd advise fixing that. XD
Okay, gonna say this one was a nice chapter. No conflicted feelings this time around, just a dizzying headache from my own damn efforts of pressing onward. Keep it up! :)
Author's Response: first off, good on you for busting your butt and getting your chapter up. i don't have that gear. or enjoy sleeping too much. one or the other. second, i think the description of reading my story as a 'delightful pain' is my favorite compliment ever. thank you! third, you should never not ask me questions. i may not answer them, or i may only answer some of the question, but ask away. fourth, Alistair? manipulate someone? *monocle falls off* why i never! how dare you accuse such an upstanding individual of heinous behavior. fifth, a naive 18 year-old? tricked? what an absurd theory. sixth, i am an expert at continuity errors. my full name is charlotte tallulah continuity error penhallow. thanks for reading! sorry about the dizzying headache! feel better, MrSimple! xo, charlotte
Date: 03/11/19 08:08 am Title: All of the Second Thoughts
Well, at least Erica is starting to ask the right questions (won't or can't).
And of course the way you write about the character's feelings and emotions I can just close my eyes and be in the room with them.
Author's Response: thank you, Elron! as i said, very unsure of myself with this chapter (and a couple others to come). glad to here it's at least readable. xo, charlotte
Date: 03/11/19 04:35 am Title: All of the Second Thoughts
(Point is, I have no idea how you can still justify being coy and going “but maaaaybe Alistair’s a goood guy” anymore. At some point own up and accept that actions show he isn’t, period. Otherwise this is just gonna turn into the usual torture story of a girl falling for the shittiest man on Earth but it’s okay because they hold power in some form and that excuses their shittiness somehow)
Author's Response: shittiest man on earth? you haven't met him yet. and who said anything about Erica falling for him? i'll grant you Alistair has power (to spare) but i'm not asking anyone to excuse his terrible decisions. xo, charlotte
Date: 03/11/19 04:31 am Title: All of the Second Thoughts
Honestly if I were Eric(a) I’d just let the fucker die. He’s a stranger, he barged in without any warning, changed them without consent, then afterwards gave them a cryptic “Birth me a child or something something it’d be bad not to and fate guarantees it’ll happen anyway.” No, fuck you, this is not the order you do things in. Take your destiny stuff and shove it all the way up your fucked up asshole.
(Also that still doesn’t answer why Alistair didn’t take the option of turning himself into a woman and having himself go through the arduous process of pregnancy if that was so important. You do not thrust that upon a kid less than half your apparent age.)
Author's Response: i'm so happy you find Alistair so irredeemable! it's tricky writing an unlikable character. my instinct is to make everyone 'good'. of course my end-goal is to make every character feel 'real', so that means complicating everyone, but i'm happy the warlock is coming across as a villain. and your impression isn't wrong at all! you lay everything plainly and yikes. can't fault your logic. xo, charlotte
Date: 03/10/19 09:50 pm Title: All of the Second Thoughts
I don't want to give this chapter a rating because I'm conflicted about it. Not that what is written is good or bad, but I had been given an impression this chapter was in response to something we reviewers said.
On the one hand, I enjoyed the fact that Eric/a grew a backbone.
On the other, I feel like this chapter may turn out to be an opened and closed book on that resistance. Kind of like, "Here, she stood up for herself. Okay, let's move on..."
...Okay, that sounded really rude of me. I apologize. o_o
Now, as a writer, I operate differently. So do you (and I have not read your other works yet, which means I have no clue where you might go with this story.) But on the premise of the title and based on how much reality is being bent by the not-Fluffy Bunny, I'd say this guy can do whatever he pleases without a single person batting an eyelash at his actions, leave alone stopping him (just to note: that expression an exaggeration.)
I'm eager to find out how this concludes, but like I said, I can take a shot in the dark and either hit or miss. If my shot is wide, that'll be an interesting surprise. If on target, well, yeah, I had difficulty seeing a way out of this situation too, so no hard feelings.
It's kinda funny though, the idea I have how this story might go is how I've seen most other stories conclude and it can be compared with the Kubler-Ross model: the whole denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance thingy. XD
Keep it up till the very end and I'll eventually see whether I had good intuition or not. And if I had offended you in any way, sorry! I mean it. I really don't want to upset anyone. I'm just here to have fun and enjoy the time given to me. :)
Author's Response: 'conflicted about [this chapter]'? that's good! while i love reading comments and what everyone says does make me think, that is not the same thing as influencing my story arc. there is a lot of middle ground left to write, but the basic premise and the culmination / ending are set. you are very wise to think that this chapter is tricky, for lack of a better word. after all even though Erica does fight back, she ultimately (apparently) decides to go with Alistair. regarding some of your other points, yes. 'mere' mortals will find it very difficult to stop / see through Alistair's power. given the warlock's existence itself, and Erica's ability to resist certain aspects of his spells, it suggests there are other beings around who aren't so easily manipulated. put another way, it'd be really strange if there was just one guy walking around wielding magic. by your Kubler-Ross model, Erica'd be at the... denial stage? i'm just curious because i haven't shown her bargain for much of anything. depression isn't very fun to write (doesn't mean it doesn't have a place in stories like this) and even though, again, Erica is packing a bag, i wouldn't describe what is happening here as acceptance. but maybe that's just me. xo, charlotte
Date: 03/08/19 02:15 am Title: Just Maybe Not 100% Sure
Hi ForeverEgg, I totally respect your opinion.
I am really intrigued by the 'why' and the full agreement. I can tell there is a lot that hasn't been said, yet. And the whole plot hinges on that agreement.
Hopefully, when more pieces of the puzzle are laid down everything will make more sense to us readers.
I'd give it some more time to see how all of this plays out. Have a great day, Elron.
Date: 03/07/19 11:59 pm Title: Just Maybe Not 100% Sure
Now wait just a cotton-pickin' minute. You're Charlotte. You write stories about men magically becoming pregnant women. Usually VERY pregnant women. That's what I love about your stories. That, and your attention to detail. And your wit. And how your characters are so real. And how a magically induced transformation can seem perfectly natural.
You can't pull out after nine chapters. You're such a tease. Arrrrrgh.
Alright, can't wait for the next chapter. Hope you're happy.
Author's Response: well, i mean, this thing could go 300 chapters and result in generations of children. i can't rule that out. just seems unlikely is all ;-) thank you as always! xo, charlotte
Date: 03/07/19 10:37 pm Title: Just Maybe Not 100% Sure
I don’t know why any one could object if a couple has a child,isn’t that why they getting married.anyways I’m enjoying the storyline.
Author's Response: i mean, there's lots of reasons to get married. see, well, most of western literature. Alistair needs a wife (and this marriage) for a lot of reasons. having a child is only one of them. xo, charlotte
Date: 03/07/19 10:04 pm Title: Just Maybe Not 100% Sure
I love the story so far... but doesn't it seem like Erica is giving in to this a little too quickly?
Author's Response: thank you, Shadow Dragon! and to answer your question with another question... maybe? xo, charlotte
Date: 03/07/19 10:00 pm Title: Just Maybe Not 100% Sure
Im having a few fits with this story. First, the chapters are short. Normally that wouldnt be a problem but with the example of the last two chapters that break falls in the middle of a conversation? And i have the feeling, though im not sure its true, that most of these chapter breaks are falling in the middle of action, partly because this is 9 chapters in and there hasn't been a time skip. Its taken 9 distinct chapters for our protagonist to go down stairs talk to a warlock and go back up... Which indicates to me that there are a good few chapters left before they depart the house. Its so bite sized i feel like i spend more time recalling where it left off and getting up to speed than actually progressing the story.
Second... I get mixed messages from the dialogue and the universe you are writing in. The warlock says "you are you and most everything about you is the same" and the universe says "every aspect of your history has been recolored but forced to lay within the same lines." It plays like one of those drawing corruptions people post on twitter. Sure both artists got a mermaid to start with but one has a green tail and red hair but the other one has piercings and a heavy metal shirt. I dont know how well that analogy holds up...
Im just... Really not enjoying how their sexuality is being exhaustively explained and outlined. It doesnt feel fun to read or think about. I like thinking about hot guys but i dont enjoy reading them feel compelled and anxious/confused about liking dick or kissing male friends. The inability to say things the universe doesn't agree with is censorship worse than actually being silenced. I know you plan to adress how much they can push back on the magic but honestly all this talk about their forms being adjustable makes me sick at my stomach and the concept of rigid gender roles + "you have to change to a girl so i can have a kid" stuff is irritating. Like the rules of the universe are conspiring explicitly to pin the main character down and keep them there.
I dont think this is the story for me. It might be the story for someone else and that's why im not leaving a low star review but i dont see myself sticking with this through many more chapters if this continues to be the pace. This handling of sexuality and gender doesnt feel healthy to me...
I wish your story and writing experience success and i genuinely hope my opinion is not a common one. You can have fun with this. Its not intrinsically harmful. I just feel that since im here and can express my hiccups with it i might as well.
I tentatively look forward to where you go with this but i encourage you to follow your feelings and motives rather than twisting your story to the whim of one outspoken reviewer.
Author's Response: this may be horribly reductive of me, but setting your individual grievances aside for a moment, what this sounds like to me is pretty simple. as a writer, i haven't earned your trust. similarly, that what i am writing here, the themes, heck, even the structure, is causing you distress. this upsets me, but i also have to remember that i'm never going to earn everyone's trust. and not everyone is going to like what i make. all i can do is use these comments to lay bare my intentions and my design. like you, i'll go point by point. first and foremost, this story is meant to be fun and light-hearted. yes there are weighty themes. that we are all saddled with a history we did not chose just by being born (and this case, 'reborn'). that parents can be selfish and f*** up. that tremendous power can turn people into a**-hats. that stuffed animals (and diners, you'll see) are creepy. but beyond all this i want to have fun and i want the reader to laugh and have fun. that's what i want. it doesn't mean i can achieve it. secondly, the structure. here's what i will say. each small chapter, if i'm doing this right, should stand on it's own. it very well might start in the middle of ongoing action and it might end abruptly, but there should be a beginning, a middle, and a end and something new should be learned. put another way? i'm not just writing some big long thing and arbitrarily cutting it into bits 'x' number of words long. i'm going by feel, sure, but my feel could be off. the sexuality grievances you have are of course valid. what i'll say is this. Eric/a is going to be navigating this for some time. s/he needs to work this out for themself. i am not sure my hero/ine will ever subscribe to a rigid gender role, but the world often does and other characters very well could and i can't ignore that. i am sorry that you see the rules of this universe as conspiring against the protagonist. i see the reverse. i see a hero/ine who is dealing with a turn of fate and will not let anyone or anything force them to do anything they don't want to. are things moving fast? yes. does it beggar belief that s/he would go along with all this, leave their home, etc? maybe! but i then ask myself well, some part of Eric/a must be missing something in their life. and wants to use this as an opportunity to explore a world that is stranger than s/he thought. this story may not be for you. and you are free to drop a 1 star rating if you hate it! just know that i LOVE comments and criticism like yours. all i can do is think more about what i'm making and you always make me think and think and think. thank you! i want all your hiccups! and thank you for encouraging me to follow my feelings. it's all i can do, really. xo, charlotte
Date: 03/07/19 09:58 pm Title: Just Maybe Not 100% Sure
This is pretty cool, so far.
Okay, so, I do have one thing I'd like Eric/a to ask this fluffy bunny: "Why did I have to be the one to change?" I mean, I understood the bargain had a specific piece to play in this (it had to be a daughter.) But I feel if she were to ask that question, it might lead to figuring out what this mother had done to deserve an arranged marriage as crazy as this. XD
Good work, and I like how short it is. With less, more is crafted and left up to the imagination. ;)
...That's something I have to work on.
Author's Response: you got me, MrSimple. not with your first question, which Eric/a kinda sorta does ask towards the end of the chapter, but by extension. if s/he would just confront the mother and put her on the spot, this would be a very different story. a lot shorter, probably. and where's the fun in that? thank you for reading! xo, charlotte
Date: 03/06/19 05:04 am Title: Fwuffy Nubbins the Rabbit
Your story is always good. Also i love hpw they are short chapters. I can read them when I'm about to go to bed.
Author's Response: i am enjoying the short chapters as well. a different style for me. makes me be a bit ruthless when i edit. xo, charlotte
Date: 03/06/19 04:41 am Title: Fwuffy Nubbins the Rabbit
A remote projection bunny, clever.
I feel like we are working on a jigsaw puzzle, Charlotte. But you are the only one who gets to see the picture on the box. I'm not complaining, on the contrary, I like getting one piece at a time and trying to figure out where it goes.
Author's Response: thank you, Elron! you speak as if I know the whole picture on the box. granted, i know a bunch, but i would not say i have anything completed just yet. xo, charlotte
Date: 03/05/19 11:44 pm Title: Fwuffy Nubbins the Rabbit
I don’t know how to react to the idea that making Erica straight was the path of least resistance and least change, but at the same time I can’t really argue that the social repercussions of being gay wouldn’t have had ripple changes that’d have changed even more things than making Erika straight... Still, either next chapter will reveal Eric had some gay or bi tendencies or I’ll probably side-eye the end of this chapter for a long while.
Author's Response: in most of my stories (spoiler alerts?!) i have the transformed character's body (which is more often than not, hetero) 'win' when it comes to the mind / body sexual duality. i am not 9as) interested in doing that here. in other words, i'm going to let things play out for Eric/a more... organically. if that makes sense. does this mean there will be gay or bi tendencies? or will it mean what's already been discussed was a bit of bluster and Eric had some of those all along? we'll see. in general i find messiness far more interesting. xo, charlotte.
Date: 03/02/19 01:51 pm Title: Meeta Wroo Procky Wroo
Whoa, this story is really enjoyable. It feels kinda unique, it sounds like it's getting ready to explode into a world of magic. Is your magic system hard, or soft? Have you thought about that yet? I hope Eric/a joins his side and they unite to defeat some evil threat or go off on mind-banding adventures or something fun like that!
Great work! Keep going!
Author's Response: thank you, WishfulThinking! i can say with some confidence this story is dripping with magic. and the deeper we get, the stranger things will become. i have zero clue what hard or soft magic means, so i'm going to google that in a second. and while Alistair may be diabolical in certain respects, there is Evil in this world, of the sort that is not to be trifled with. xo, charlotte
Date: 03/01/19 06:35 am Title: Meeta Wroo Procky Wroo
Charlotte, I'm loving every word of this story, even the gobbledygook words. I know it will have to end someday, I just hope that day is a very long ways off.
Author's Response: fortunately for you, Elron, there is a lot i've figured out about this story but a lot that still needs to come together. and given that i want the chapters to remain about 700 words each? there could be lots and lots of chapters. xo, charlotte
Date: 02/27/19 05:19 pm Title: Not Without His Bride
I agree 100%.
It's nothing if the person is erased and replaced with a new personality. Not even the same story anymore.
Of course, if the person wasn't cognizant of the truth, then there would be no need to force the response.
As I've said before, conflict is what gives character to the people in the story and makes them real. You've created huge amounts of conflict in a few short chapters, and it only makes the story real and believeable.
Author's Response: more conflict to come, i assure you. xo, charlotte
Date: 02/27/19 12:18 pm Title: Honor Bound to Answer
Charlotte, I can't explain why, but I love forced responses, e.g., when a magically transformed guy can't say his old name or gender. This chapter was incredible. And the story just gets better with each chapter. Thank you.
Author's Response: you are very welcome, Elron. i enjoy the forced responses to, so long as the person saying them is cognizant of the truth, but then again therein lay all the fun. xo, charlotte
Date: 02/27/19 05:35 am Title: Not Without His Bride
I was more talking about the section where Eric is being talked to by his mom, and Eric's fialog consisted of just "..." a few times. A little earlier, you have "Oh... no" which also dorsn't work, since that reaction of "crap, I'm being caught masterbating" woulf be quick and visceral. There wouldn't (or would unlikely) be a long pause within.
Using the en-dash to show being cut off is also good form, though.
Ellipses are fine, but limited to two general uses. When used in the middle of dialog, they represent an extended pause; I like to use two to three beats as a rule of thumb. Longer than that and the dialog should end to describe the nonverbal cues that would be dominating at that point. The second use is at the end of a sentence to show that the speaker is trailing off, particularly if the speaker leaves words hanging. This can also be paired with other punctuation, e.g.
"You going to finish that, or can I...?"
The question mark is used to indicate the rising tone that usually accompanies a question.
I commend the use of en-dash, but don't give up on ellipses, just be more conscious of where and how you use them.
Author's Response: a writer is only as good as his editor and it's help such as this that will make me a better one! i definitely used "..." when what i really meant was 'Eric was speechless' or 'Eric's mouth dropped open and no words came out', that sort of thing. i'll be more strategic and consistent moving forward. Thank you so much! xo, charlotte
Date: 02/27/19 04:09 am Title: Honor Bound to Answer
Interesting. I always found it strange that warlocks are depicted as being sticklers for following the letter of the law when the root of the term comes from an Old English word that means ‘oath-breaker’. Come to think of it, fantasy in general has the annoying habit of choosing titles/names based on what sounds cool rather than what those words really mean. Nevertheless, this is a very good story, and I am beginning to Alistair.
Author's Response: well i just hope Alistair scans as a recognizable human. i want him to be flawed and funny and egotistical and nefarious but also not totally irredeemable. did not know that warlock stems from the word for oath-breaker. it's facts and criticism such as this that just might find its way into the plot... xo, charlotte
Date: 02/26/19 09:17 pm Title: Honor Bound to Answer
That was definitely a unique exchange of 20 questions, nice to see them answered as truthful it can get, although the reality shift did affect Ericas answers in the sense of a new personality born differently.
Wasn't expecting him to ask Eric a question though, that caught me off guard. Wonder how Erica in the next chapter answer him? If she like any woman in todays modern time shes most likely to reject him based off the fact that she literally met him and never met him any prior time, that and when did children ever left life choices to their parents.
Welp there some of my thoughts, cant wait for the next chapter, keep up with the good work.
Author's Response: loads of interesting thoughts and questions, Headhunter. hopefully the payoff for all of this meets your expectations. xo, charlotte
Date: 02/26/19 08:36 pm Title: Honor Bound to Answer
I liked this exchange actually. I am personally optimistic that Erica's will may reverse some of the personality bits that got overwritten. Fuck the warlock's preferences, i think she needs to get to decide what parts of herself she keeps and never have to wonder what is just because of the magic.
Admittedly though, she doesnt seem like the type to choose to be a girl any time soon...
Im frustrated. I want to love this premise but even more than that i need her to be herself and not some amalgam of a creepy warlock's wet dream and the will of a boy. She needs to be herself and the warlock had damn well better get over it.
But... Im overstepping. Its your story and i dont want you to derail what makes this fun for you... I just... Probably won't be on board to watch an innocent young adults personality die...
Thanks for writing, you are doing a good job and i know im probably not giving you enough credit. I hesitantly look forward to what you do next.
Note: you arent just going to flat out lose me for having problematic stuff continue to pop up, and i may very well continue to rage about it in the comments. I just... Selfishly hope Erica ends up in a good place and not just because the magic overwrote her entire personality...
Author's Response: ForeverEgg, i just love your comments!! and i wish with all my heart that you continue to rage rage rage. let me assure i am not interested in personality death. what is happening here is very complicated (probably overcomplicated) but i can safely say that the core of who Eric/a truly is, will always remain. i wouldn't say any of his personality traits have been overwritten. he's still going to act the same way he used to. history has been overwritten. and occasionally the magic makes Eric/a say things that conform to what is expected. but that's different than her meaning what slips out. she didn't have a choice in becoming female, but that doesn't mean she won't come to like or even love it. but that's a long way off. please never stop feeling all these things and sharing all your wonderful thoughts. xo, charlotte
Date: 02/26/19 08:14 pm Title: Honor Bound to Answer
Alistair you absolute dick, you should've stopped before that very last question, now I'm pissed. Eric(a) my dear, please just kick his ass somehow :P
Author's Response: our hero(ine) has and will continue to stand up for herself. aside from the fact that s/he's just a much better person than he is. that's gotta count for something, right? xo, charlotte
Date: 02/26/19 06:04 am Title: Not Without His Bride
The only suggestion I have at this point is to avoid using dialog that is just ellipses. It's a crutch for video games that can't properly express nonverbal cues and dialog, like old JRPPPGs. But you're a writer; you aren't limited to a handful of facial animations or body movements and positions. You can craft descriptions of activities or insights into a person's thoughts. There is no need to have people speak like Squall Lionheart.
Author's Response: that's a really wonderful suggestion because i KNOW i use that as precisely what you say, a crutch. some of the time i use it when a character gets cut off, but i'll do a better job of indicating that with a -- instead of an ellipses. that being said, now i really want to write some final fantasy fanfic. thank you, Archer. xo, charlotte
Date: 02/24/19 08:22 pm Title: Minor Incantations
What a fun chapter and the next chapter sounds even funner. I wish there was a way I could never be able to say I was ever a male and ever say my birth name again. (Unless it was someone that has that name or pronouns).
Author's Response: thanks, Natasha!! xo, charlotte
Date: 02/24/19 05:20 pm Title: Minor Incantations
Okay, so... Eric(a) has some minor ability to avoid or at least affect the spell. Hopefully that leads to some interesting stuff... Maybe even some good old fashioned taste of his own medicine?
Author's Response: we might be a long ways from our protagonist turning any tables, but sure. keep the flame of that idea alive. xo, charlotte