Date: 03/21/19 05:51 am Title: A Ceremonious Conclusion
Dream, this has been one of the best stories I have read on the internet. Who could have imagined how a simple bet for a Halloween party could have evolved into several life-changing events and still emerged with a happy ending (I love happy endings).
I believe three things separate a great story from a good one:
Detail - you had it in spades. Descriptions of the characters, their clothing, expressions. Really made me feel like I'm right there in the room.
Conflict - Too many TG stories are just a transformation, then rainbows, unicorns and sex. You need conflict to make a character come alive. How they handle conflict determines what kind of person they are. You obviously had conflicts all over the place.
Suspense - This is what keeps a reader interested. Once the story got going, I had a hard time putting it down. I couldn't wait to see what was going to happen next.
You also had the pacing just right. Slowing down where more detail is needed, speeding up when there was no danger of missing anything. Grammar was good. The story was very readable.
Excellent job as always, and I look forward to reading your next endeavor.
Date: 03/13/19 08:06 am Title: A Ceremonious Conclusion
This is a wonderful "slippery slope" kind of story, and a real emotional roller coaster. At one point, it made me so sad I almost didn't want to finish it, but I'm so glad I rejected that impulse - the ending was perfect!
Date: 03/05/19 08:45 pm Title: A Ceremonious Conclusion
Thank you for this great story! It certainly took many turns I didn't see beforehand, most of which were good and sweet. I was prepared for a whole another story, though I'm glad I was wrong. I love how there were no villains, but still someone was the victim, and how natural you made it seem. The ending, oh, so bittersweet, though :(
I must say I don't believe any therapist would actually recommend fully transitioning in a case like this, and people do de-transition sometimes and still are healthy, though I understand stories must sometimes be a bit unrealistic to be interesting and good :)
Date: 02/28/19 12:35 pm Title: A Wild Night
*spoiler in review*
I've really liked this story so far, but this chapter is aggravating to me. Mind you it is still well done, like the rest of the story, this is just a personal/emotional gripe.
What is Susan's deal? From what I see Elizabeth is doing everything she can to make this situation work yet Susan is willing to be a single mom rather than parent with another woman? I just don't get how she can turn on someone she claims to love so much.
Date: 02/27/19 06:12 pm Title: A Wild Night
Wow, even though I was kinda expecting that the way Susan said it hurts no matter what, since she'd rather raise the kid as a single mother than having two mother's for the kid. Now I'm totally hooked for what will happen next all things considered.
Date: 01/23/19 03:55 am Title: Halloween Prep
Excellent groundwork for a much bigger story than a simple Halloween party.
The categories and description for this story make it seem like Jake is only at the edge of a very slippery, and permanent, slope. I really don't see how all the elements fit together, but I know from your other writing you will bring them all together into a beautiful symphony.