Date: 02/18/19 03:38 pm Title: Chapter 2
Great story so far, I can see that kids will be kids and the pranking will continue.
A couple of questions. While at the Magic store, the wizard first says he can't change the new girls back into boys, then later threatens to make Will a girl permanently. Did you mean the wizard couldn't change them back for the three weeks until the grenades wore off?
And when the Bennett parents arrived back home they rang the doorbell - to their own house. I know you were looking for a signal to the new girls that their parents were home, maybe just hearing the door slam, or commotion or voices downstairs would make more sense?
Please keep writing and take your time to give good details and descriptions. It makes us feel like we are right there in the room with the characters.
Date: 01/21/19 12:52 am Title: Chapter 2
This is my favorite new story in a while.
I love this style of story where the girls have the power over the changed dude and they can change them or fuck with them however they want.
I would to see even more of them messing with the guys, making them shorter, bustier, having to pee sitting down, or even really messing with them and forcing them to have their period.
Love your work, and hope to see more of this, best wishes to you!
Date: 01/19/19 06:23 pm Title: Chapter 1
There are a few grammatical errors within the text but other than that it's looking good. However, the prank shop owner doesn't care at all about the pain he is inflicting on others (Maybe this is a trait you wanted him to have but just my observation), and the girls are just oblivious and cruel and are going to end up either permanently damaging these boys probably resulting in some serious PTSD and possibly suicide, or the development of a weird fetish or a kind of coming out the closet realization. Who knows.