Reviews For Goku's downfall
You must login (register) to review.
Reviewer: Azaira Signed Report
Date: 12/31/18 05:05 am Title: Goku's loss.

Formatting! I don't know if it disappeared(can happen), or what, but you need to go through and split your paragraphs up. Every time you change the focus character(or who is speaking), there should be a new paragraph to correlate such change. As it is currently, you have every "speaker" crammed into one paragraph, which just doesn't read well.

The first sentence also needs to be reworked. As it is currently, I can't make sense of it, nor the relation it has on everything else.

Other than those two, the story is decent as of Chapter 1.

Reviewer: okieohio Signed Report
Date: 12/27/18 07:24 am Title: Goku's loss.

Good premise and the story is written well. May I suggest you copy the story into a word processor . Most of them will pick up punctuation errors and errors like were when we're was meant. Though not many grammar/typos. Less than what I would do.

I hope that one of the enemy coming will compete for dominance over Goku.

Reviewer: okieohio Signed Report
Date: 12/27/18 07:23 am Title: Goku's loss.

Good premise and the story is written well. May I suggest you copy the story into a word processor . Most of them will pick up punctuation errors and errors like were when we're was meant. Though not many grammar/typos. Less than an what would do.

You must login (register) to review.
TG Storytime uses the eFiction engine and Vanilla discussions. Design by J6P.