Date: 12/19/18 07:28 pm Title: Summer's Change
I feel essentially the same way Greatsage does. This is more story fragment than actual story. In fact, were I the one writing this, I'd call what's been done here the Introduction. It could LEAD to a story, but it really ain't one yet. What's here is mildly entertaining and mildly sexy, though marred by some pretty atrocious grammar, but it reaches no conclusions and "ends" with no resolutions. I must say, too, that a lot of BOTH characters' reactions are unrealistic, and that if the female lead was as ignorant of what she was doing as she claims at the end, she sure don't act like it.
So anyway, I don't hate this one, but it needs a LOAD of work.
Date: 12/18/18 02:40 pm Title: Becoming a Cheerleader
This story feels unfinished, there is more to explore here, like what is actually going on, I am also not keen on the (to me) sad ending a human being has had their life destroyed and I'd like some resolution here, now, I appreciate that this is probably intended as a short piece of smut but as it is, it isn't for me. I do see some potential though, I think with a different story you might come up with something really good.