Date: 11/22/18 08:01 pm Title: What My Body Wants
Nice. Please continue.
Author's Response: Thank ya! :D
I have intentions to revise the story. I won't take anything from it, but rather I intend to add more into the story to make the entirety more of a solid work. Like, get a more in depth idea who these two are, what the deal is with the magic necklace/collar, why are these two buddies, how come one is having a sleepover with a guy (and sharing a bed) when it has been established there might be some risk involved, and more. So, that's in mind to be done. :)
Date: 11/12/18 08:29 pm Title: What My Body Wants
This was interesting xD waiting for your other stories :p
Author's Response: Thank ya! I plan to revise this short story when I have time. I liked evenrude's advice to make this work more solid and I have an idea how to. :)
As for my other stories, I am almost done with that big project I've been working on. Once that's finished, I intend to get right back to work on my incomplete stories. :D
Date: 11/12/18 01:10 pm Title: What My Body Wants
Too abstract to gain or hold my interest. Like a dream that isn’t really connected well enough to tell anyone about because the memory of it is just a bunch of loosely connected bits of conciousness.
Author's Response: Ah! So I might want to get my needle and thread to do some stitching! XD
I could see about doing a revision and connecting some of those dots together. Perhaps I can formulate the path I took to produce something more solid. :)
Thank you very much for pointing that out to me. :D
Date: 11/11/18 10:37 pm Title: What My Body Wants
Consent is just... So important. Idk. It's not terrible writing some of the imagery is really good. This reminds me a lot of "caring for a life" but unlike that this isn't relateable? Like personally, I've got some kinks, and normally the motions of this would be right down my alley. Trusted friend d3;, taken sweetly d3;, its hot in that respect...
But she doesn't want it, she says as much, and it's psychological torture that isn't even ending. She didn't even want to be a girl in the first place it seems and this experience hasn't changed their mind.
Fiction doesn't have to be politically correct and happy smiles and love and perfect ever after... But... If this is non-con it's got too much friendship and tenderness, and its too rape for consentual. That doesn't make it intrinsically bad but it makes it really hard to appreciate it...
Author's Response: Oh, I like your review! This one is like reading a tiny vignette. :D
Yep, I absolutely agree with you on how important consent is in reality and fiction. The concept of it doesn't have to be real because the mere thought of it has brought the idea into existence. I think that is why I wrote what I had written: it tore the MC apart and had her at a loss on what she could do in her situation. There were options, plenty of them, but they were narrowed down to what she wanted to do, rather than what she should've done.
Wow, after I gave ya that explanation, I sound like I'm blaming Eric for what happened in the story. >.>
So, yeah, I would say that the story ended on a cliffhanger. That great and empty void after the story was left there because I, personally me, wouldn't know what to do in that situation. You had nailed down really good qualities between the friends and, as mentioned, those end up being mental blocks against what to reasonably decide upon doing. It's kind of like how a spouse would do something absolutely unthinkable and you're not sure how to take it. Angry, yes, but what do you do about them? Leave? Just like that?
As for Eric not wanting to be a girl, I kinda wanted to try out the idea of someone who doesn't settle with their transformation. I've attempted that idea before. There are a couple stories of mine that the MC doesn't just switch genders, but they also become monstrous or demonic. "Wish" and "Seed" are the two that come to mind, but those two need some serious grammatical and comprehensive corrections done to them. XD
I'm very happy you had told me this. It means I managed to convey the Fractured Friendship idea I had. I think I honestly was inspired by this idea from the linked story I read in the Discussion forums: Boarding With Jim. That story involved long time childhood friends experiencing two extreme sides of the gender equality and... well, not gonna spoil it. That was well written too, but not my cup of tea. :)
Thank you for reading this and letting me know what you thought. I'll be working on something that won't be so difficult to appreciate later. :D