Date: 05/26/19 04:08 pm Title: Chapter 3: forward. Step by step.
Nice to see supportive parents. So many of these stories have ridiculous caricatures of unsupportive parents. And I don't think it's fair to criticize Mrs. Cole for being overly-supportive. Maybe she's doing it wrong (debatable), but it comes from a loving heart.
Author's Response: When i wrote mrs. Cole i tried to imagine the best case scenario of how my mom could be supportive while adding a louder, more outspoken personality. the result is this sort of smothering personality. There's a lot of feelings to be had but i ended up finding that i was largely projecting my frustration at being boxed up around my parents. Shes not a bad mom? But shes taken so much control and continues to take so much control that laura cant grow in that environment. Shes a sort of helicopter mom that at least lets Laura have a bit of space. I'm glad you like this portrayal though! Thanks so much for dropping me your thoughts :)
Date: 05/26/19 12:07 pm Title: Chapter 1: the Cold Clinic
"What a fucking shitstorm.” Great bedside manner, Lady! Not what you want to hear when the doctor is looking at your lab results, lol.
Author's Response: Lol, yeah that would be pretty distressing. I dont have the best baseline with patient-doctor experiences i think...
Date: 02/21/19 12:59 am Title: Chapter 13: a little independence.
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm what is jack's deallll
Author's Response: I wasnt actually thinking anything particularly deep. Just a general disinterest in rebuilding the friendship since he perceives laura as blowing up and being immature and irrational before
Date: 02/20/19 04:25 pm Title: Chapter 3: forward. Step by step.
awh yay mom this is so sweet
Author's Response: I'm... Glad you think so? When my eggy self was writing this i certainly wanted to make the reader think as much but... Well shes a bit much. Bless her heart.
Date: 02/20/19 04:22 pm Title: Chapter 2: Setting Out
"As long as you don’t settle out of the suit by admitting fault, the clinic will uphold its obligations to change you back." whew, thank goodness, surely Laura would not do that. :3
Author's Response: Laura is not a crook! Heh. I could write an alternate ending where she makes a heart felt appology for sabotaging the medical center and accepting her fate as a girl out of pennance.
Date: 02/20/19 04:14 pm Title: Chapter 1: the Cold Clinic
This intro chapter sets up the premise really well! Love the technological worldbuilding elements.
Author's Response: :) im so glad! Its nice to know the psuedo-science hand waving isnt dragging down the exposition.
Date: 01/22/19 11:25 am Title: Chapter 19: Epilogue
I loved this story and it really fits your penname, Laura's journey of self discovery was a fun, emotional and gripping read.
Author's Response: I'm working on growing out of this pen name as fast and safely as possible XD. Thanks so much for reading! It means a lot to me that so many people have enjoyed this little scenario.
Date: 12/07/18 06:39 pm Title: Chapter 19: Epilogue
This is a fun little story that's reasonably well written. I think the folks complaining about the finer points of the character interaction are missing the forest for the trees here. I really appreciate the journey of self-discovery that you've gone on here with Laura, and I hope that you're able to find some more identity in your own life as a result.
I think you have some solid writing chops and I'm looking forward to seeing what you're able to create in the future.
Author's Response: Thank you! I'm so grateful that you read this and I'll do my best to improve with my upcoming novel! I have to laugh at myself for how oblivious I was when writing all of this... It's been a trip. I'm thrilled that you can appreciate the journey I laid out and I'm flattered that you read through other reviews and responses as well. Thank you for being such a kind and courteous reader!
Date: 12/02/18 07:21 am Title: Chapter 19: Epilogue
[ I was the one who wanted a wedding and a baby btw :) ]
Author's Response: one of many i think. out of the six votes i worked off of there were a solid 5 for the baby, 3 for the wedding, and the collar was mixed with some wanting it and some being explicitly done with the sex stuff so i left it out.
Date: 12/01/18 01:58 pm Title: Chapter 1: the Cold Clinic
Really an excellent story: not sure if I commented in the past, but I read a few comments and agreed with most. Not that that matters. I believe Laura and Claire's love is very deep. I feel they'll retreat a bit from their dom/sub roles as they get to truly know each other better. They are young and will continue to mature. There will be a marriage and they will be equals in marriage. Both will have children; that's a given. The sex is important to them, it will always be a part of their lives, it won't dominate them. The love will always be there.
Author's Response: Just got the epilogue up, I think it will be somewhat in line with your expectations :)
Date: 11/29/18 10:12 pm Title: Chapter 18: Pomp and Circumstance
This is a very good story. While I have to admit that I had some trouble with most sex scenes as they involved less known words by me (English is not my primary language), I really enjoyed Laura's story.
For the ending, I have a preference for something happening some months or years later that would give us a hint about her future life. And yes, it could include a reference to both a pregnancy and ... a collar :)
Author's Response: Sorry about the uncommon words, that's rough. Thanks so much for reading despite that though!
The epilogue is mostly written but I'll still consider your votes. I look forward to marking this complete in a couple of days.
Date: 11/24/18 07:31 pm Title: Chapter 18: Pomp and Circumstance
I definitely do not want bondage and Sub stuff in the epilogue, and I'd like Claire and Laura to remain together - as Claire and Laura. I'd quite like it to include Laura giving a speech to the students like that Professor wanted, it would be a good way for her to sum up her new life, possibly ending with her going out the auditorium to meet up with her wife and child
Author's Response: That sounds like a very sweet concept, however I don't think I could do it justice. It's one thing for me to write this from my imagination in it's limited scope (2 weeks like this is all she's had) but adding a lot of time to that is a stretch and setting her up to reflect on her progress... Idk. Like I'm already writing from a place I have experienced nothing of and I am always anxious to push farther. I'll see what I can do.
Date: 11/24/18 05:11 pm Title: Chapter 1: the Cold Clinic
You misunderstand. Laura was accepting from the start and there was never really any conflict or any problem to solve. It was a pretty straightforward "unknowing trans girl gets her wish".
When I mention the other characters getting stuck, it has nothing to do with mind control or anything. It has to do with them now being transgender and unable to change back for an unknown time. How would they cope? How would others react to someone who didn't really want this in the first place? That would parallell what trans people face in real life only that things are swapped around.
Date: 11/24/18 04:18 pm Title: Chapter 18: Pomp and Circumstance
Ok, first off, A+ for U-Haul jokes. Secondly, I love Laura and Claire's banter in this chapter, and Laura and Kris explaining how dysphoria felt with them was really well done (Laura's bit about being able to ignore gender roles as long as they didn't cause too much inconvenience is basically how I was as an egg). Also, Laura dealing with her extended family definitely rings true- up to and including Claire angrily pointing out that they're still dating (my wife said almost the exact same thing at one point after I came out). Lastly, I *love* the last two lines.
For what I'd like to see in the epilogue:
--More exploration of gender euphoria on the part of Laura- once she's kind of come to terms with herself, it'd be neat to see her actually be able to revel in having the right body.
--Wedding scenes of any kind of always make my heart melt.
--Also, Laura probably *would* want to be a mother- I know I totally would if I had the capability to do so. And, *cough*, uh, not going to lie, getting knocked up on the honeymoon is kind of a fantasy of mine, so*...
--Wouldn't say no to more sex, but I may be in the minority in that respect. Also, while Laura will inevitably request a collar (as you point out), I don't know if that would fit the tone of an epilogue, unless it's mentioned purely as an aside (or, as others have pointed out, saved for the honeymoon).
*(I know 'getting pregnant on your honeymoon' doesn't sound like much of a kink...until you account for the fact that I'm a lesbian :-P )
Author's Response: Yeah it's shaping up to be a no sex epilogue for sure. I don't think the collar is going to be a thing but a kid or a wedding seem to most popular at this point.
Date: 11/24/18 07:33 am Title: Chapter 18: Pomp and Circumstance
I think that this ending is good enough. The sex scenes weren't really interesting at all since I read this story hoping for a more emotional rather than physical journey. You did have a bit of an internal monologue but for the most part Laura just took everything in stride, bar the first day of course.
It would be more interesting if another piece like this where the transformed person was more like Jack or Claire and to see how they coped with everything since that would give a much more genuine transgender experience.
Author's Response: I don't know what to tell you, friend... I poured a lot of emotion into those intimate scenes and I have no idea what you skipped or didn't skip. Yeah, Laura's stride was more like a series of stumbles. Sure, I didn't bring her to her knees with existential crisis and crippling depression, but i wanted a story where everyone is okay.
Jack and Claire aren't trans so I don't know how that would make this more genuine... This is hatching an egg after all; an individual who got into this class because they were curious. I don't know how I'd write anything real about someone without any curiosity about the other side... That sounds like torture being in the wrong body. And making them like it or adapt to like it would need to be a much longer character arc or it would be a message like, "everybody would be trans with the right situation."
honestly I'm just so frustrated... I feel like my story was at least good enough to keep you hooked and interested to finish the novel even when you didn't like the chapters at the halfway point... It sounds kinda like you want some sort of mind break to happen where the main character just has aspects of their personality overwritten to fit in and Like... I feel you are literally asking me to make the main character less trans so they can have a more genuine transgender experience...
Thanks for reading it I guess. Sorry that it didn't deliver the emotion you were looking for.
Date: 11/24/18 07:01 am Title: Chapter 12: get help!
I don't see Laura as being dense but rather a bit naive and uncertain. The therapist really asked questions or made statements that led Laura down a certain path. I don't know about your country but in mine this sort of manner would never fly if I or fully educated health care workers talked with patients like this.
Author's Response: Well my first problem is that all the therapists I have talked to in the past have been tied to a church or religious institution (church counselor after divorce, mental breakdown at a Christian college...). I assumed the college counselor I modeled this interaction after is a licensed professional but idk. I prioritized interactions that would get Laura talking and comfortable rather than actually researching how a licensed professional would play this. I appreciate the criticism.
Date: 11/24/18 06:47 am Title: Chapter 10: *witty joke about lesbian sex*
There are a few things that need to be edited here. I skipped past the sex so I don't know if there is anything there but the other places are 'past' being used instead of 'passed' and Laura looking at Laura when the delivery guy was at the door.
Author's Response: Done, and done. Thanks.
Date: 11/24/18 06:40 am Title: Chapter 9: J.A.C.K.
I don't really see anything weird at all about what Jack said. He seemed nice enough and didn't pass judgement. Would be nice seeing this about expectations and experiences explored further.
Author's Response: That was very much Laura being delicate and taking it poorly. Jack isn't a bad guy, Laura just wasn't ready for him. I hope future chapters drive that home for you but let me know when you get to the end if you want to see more about that
Date: 11/24/18 06:09 am Title: Chapter 18: Pomp and Circumstance
Honestly.. I'd be okay with anything that wasn't in the story. We saw loads of sex in the story already. If I wanna read about sex I can just.. re-read those chapters , to be honest. Getting pregnant or getting married isn't in at all, though.
Author's Response: Ya got me XD. I think I have indeed saturated this character arc in sex plenty. I'll try to keep the epilogue fresh :)
Date: 11/24/18 05:58 am Title: Chapter 18: Pomp and Circumstance
How about marriage AND children???
Author's Response: So far we are up to wedding night baby-making with some kink equipment. XD gonna be one hell of a party! I think I could write Laura finding out they have successfully gotten pregnant but writing the actual pregnancy or parenting experience might be too far out of my depth
Date: 11/24/18 05:00 am Title: Chapter 18: Pomp and Circumstance
Thank you for the very interesting and well writen story. Laura and Claire sexual hijinks were cute. As for the vote, I would love to see a marriage and maybe the collar as well. :)
Author's Response: thanks for reading and for the kind words!
both might be a bit of a stretch. i mean a wedding AND honeymoon sounds like a 3k+ undertaking. who knows? its likely that i can work in one or the other though depending on how the rest of the votes stack up.
Date: 11/24/18 04:55 am Title: Chapter 18: Pomp and Circumstance
I see Laura and Claire together for the duration. Laura may bear the first child, but who knows. Claire is definitely the take charge person. A question might be whether it will be natural fertilization, or invitro. Nice story.
Author's Response: that would be... an expensive use of the gender bending nanites... i know Laura would really want it to be Claire's but i think id make up another way to make it Claire's without it mortgaging a house.
Date: 11/23/18 10:23 pm Title: Chapter 17:
Laura not mentioning anything in her journal actually doesn't surprise me at all- I recently stumbled across the journal I'd kept in high school, and at one point I apparently flat out said, oh, yah, I'd be a girl for a weekend if I could, but it's otherwise not something I think about all that much.
(High school me was a filthy liar).
I suspect that, had the lab work not gotten screwed up, she would've switched back to Matt, tried to do her best to be a dude, but would ultimately wind up switching back to being Laura. Once you *know* what the right body feels like, anything else feels like torture.
Author's Response: i was actually thinking today about how cruel it would be to make the epilogue be Matt waking up from the nanite reversal procedure and this all be a vivid dream that quickly fades. but i'm not heartless enough to just leave him in a state of denial and the work involved in hatching Matt again would be... so much. just so much. i dont think it would even be fun to sit through, it would just be cruel.
That said the small detail of wanting to go back to Laura instead of just getting stuck would probably be good for her. it would keep her from ever wondering "is this what i actually wanted? is this me wanting this or have i been made to want this?"
Ultimately, i think its enough for Laura to make this gradual acknowledgement that this is exactly what she set out to find.
Date: 11/23/18 10:19 pm Title: Chapter 16: Indefinitely
Good on you, Laura, for recognizing your needs and desires! (both in terms of gender, and what you'd like in your relationship).
Also, as a trans girl, I'm kind of amazed that Laura *doesn't already* have a collar :-P
Author's Response: drag me then!
My best explanation for that is that prior to this sex has been sorta mediocre? I have this weird idea that while Matt would still get into sex and whatnot that the arousal would be less of a totally positive experience than it is as Laura? like Matt could get horny, do the sex and enjoy it but it would also sort of detach him emotionally during the act? but as Laura that emotional detachment doesn't happen and their personality doesn't get muted so much as exposed when she is aroused. I dont know if that is something that someone may actually experience, it's just kinda the feeling i imagine...
Over all i want to draw this contrast where sex for Matt was just f******, but sex for Laura has become a very personal and possibly even emotionally taxing experience.
Date: 11/21/18 10:26 pm Title: Chapter 15: Show Me
Hooray! Laura's finally figuring it out!
(Also, Laura, pssst, the reason sex is so much better is because you're *actually comfortable in your own skin.* Seriously, it makes all the difference in the world).
Author's Response: It's almost like they have a stronger connection now that Laura's truer self is shining brightest.
Date: 11/20/18 01:52 am Title: Chapter 13: a little independence.
Aww, Laura, what a rough note to end the day on. Hopefully the next section will fare better for you!
I'm actually surprised how many people are asking how Claire's dealing with it- I mean, it makes sense, that's the sort of thing you'd think people would ask- and yet, when I actually transitioned, oddly few people actually asked how my then-fiancee-now-wife was handling it. *shrug*
Author's Response: Yeah idk. I felt like a lot of friends would think sex change and immediately worry about that based on a rigid idea of sexuality. No real grounds for that assumption though
Date: 11/20/18 12:51 am Title: Chapter 12: get help!
I can say for sure the gender dysphoria never goes away , but transitioning has made it more easy to deal with now . It has also made me happier and nicer to be around.
Author's Response: I'm glad it gets easier to manage. It occurs to me that I kinda deleted Laura's gender dysphoria with one round of sex and that's a little problematic. I mean there are social hiccups but that's really all it took for her... Whoops.
Date: 11/19/18 02:34 pm Title: Chapter 12: get help!
>I coped with it like anyone would."
Oh, honey. I hate to break it to you, but being a dude isn't something men generally "cope" with- most of them actually like it, as hard as that may be to believe.
This is a really good chapter, and has an emotional rawness to it that I really like. It reminds me of my own questioning days- I wasn't miserable as a guy (though, often I wonder if that was simply due to having nothing to compare it to), but, by contrast, I fucking *love* being a girl.
Author's Response: I dunno friend, I have this sample size of 1 that says every person I've been that was a guy just coped. xD.
Date: 11/18/18 03:04 pm Title: Chapter 11: Exploring that worst kept secret
I totally feel Laura on this chapter- I was 9 months into transition before I had the courage to wear anything other than purely utilitarian lingerie, and even that required some coaxing from my then-fiancee-now-wife (and, tbh, most of the stuff I have for day-to-day wear is still pretty plain, with the exception of a really cute teal push-up bra my sister gave me). I should actually break down and get some matching sets at some point, though. Thanks, LatentEgg, you've given me motivation to make a change in my life! :-P
Also, to add yet another uncanny similarity between Laura and myself: we're the exact same awkwardly-in-between bra size (though I usually tend to edge on the side of 36C rather than 34D)
Really looking forward to the next chapter and what Laura's therapist has to say!
Author's Response: that's just too uncanny. XD. i just chose a median stocked size from the list on some site.
the therapist chapter... is my favorite. i like it more than any smut chapter ive written ever and i really feel like its the reason for the novel. the climax. but also with all of that hype, i doubt it will really be that remarkable to read XD.
Date: 11/17/18 02:32 pm Title: Chapter 1: the Cold Clinic
I love the details. Never brush over them. When it comes to the difference between the sexes,the details really count. That’s the ‘technical’ part I was referring to. Without that, the writer is just giving a narrative of the visuals. I prefer the physicological part too. It’s the personal part.
Author's Response: Aha! So you wanted more on the machanics of the intial change, and more of the little bits about how it feels different to her? I'll see what I can do going forward :). Good idea, I can see looking back that I leave the reader fairly blind as far as appearances and backstory goes (I hate exposition and probably cut too much). I'll look into filling that out more completely in my future works. Thank you!
Date: 11/17/18 06:06 am Title: Chapter 10: *witty joke about lesbian sex*
I have been enjoying this story quite a bit. The interactions between Laura and Claire are nice. I know that reality might not be so forgiving but this is a story and... well you never know. So far the story is well written. A little to much sex for my taste but I'll get over myself. Keep up the good work
Author's Response: Yeah... It's definitely too much sex XD. I'm so glad you are enjoying it and thanks so much for telling me! The "nobody cares" bit from Claire is a little bit of a white lie IMO. Because people are awful but it's the answer Laura needed and while too many people care, idk.
As far as sex goes I think this is about 2/3rds through the smut. 1 big ol session later but largely these 8 remaining chapters are character development and completing the arc. I'll go ahead and put you down as a vote for "not sex" on the epiloge material when that comes up XD.
Date: 11/17/18 02:59 am Title: Chapter 10: *witty joke about lesbian sex*
...You have a gift for writing believable lesbian erotica, you know that, right? Seriously, this chapter was amazing.
Seriously, though, the dynamics between Laura and Claire feel 100% real- including the fight. And the illustration is adorable. Keep it up!
Author's Response: Of all the gifts... Ah well. I'll take what I can get XD. Thanks so much!
Date: 11/16/18 12:29 am Title: Chapter 9: J.A.C.K.
Love the story, really cute and part from the transformation very real on many levels:)
Author's Response: I'm so glad! we can only dream that the transformation gets more real before too long. i shouldn't cross my fingers butttt.... fingers crossed. XD. thanks for reading!
Date: 11/15/18 11:55 pm Title: Chapter 9: J.A.C.K.
This chapter is such a perfect encapsulation of what so many of us went through figuring ourselves out- both in terms of not knowing what transgender really meant (for most of my life, I had *no idea* you could be trans *and* be a lesbian), and in terms of not realizing that, no, most guys don't feel the same way we do. Love it, love it, love it!
Incidentaly, girl's night + ice cream is the best. Bonus points if there's wine. (Seriously, we've started having them monthly for the women in my lab group, and you'd be *amazed* how real shit gets when you put six women in a room with plenty of sangria).
(Also, yay for more lesbians!)
My acronym for JACK: Jaccuzis Actually Can Kill
Author's Response: gotta watch out for those killer Jacuzzis. i seem to remember something about a jack in a Jacuzzi in "a winter trip's twist"... You have certainly earned your head pats which you can redeem at your leisure or donate to a touch starved gay near you. i didn't know what sangria was so i had to look it up... i thought it was a spicy sauce, like sriracha or something... so that's something. i mostly hope i didn't butcher Claire's "what trans is 101" because i'm sure a lot of stuff falls outside that and i certainly dont want that to be even remotely incorrect or offensive with her narrow example. i must confess that Laura's concept of what trans is was definitely what i thought it was back in high school and early college and woo boy is that a toxic misconception to carry.
Date: 11/15/18 01:07 am Title: Chapter 8: tea party!
>"You are mistaken," Laura mumbled into Claire's shirt. "I am the cuddle monster! Your fate is sealed!"
Laughing, Claire pulled Laura on top of herself enjoying the small squeak of protest before Laura melted again, humming as she relaxed.
DED. I am dead. You have killed me, LatentEgg, with adorableness of the likes the human body was never meant to tolerate :-P
>"Sorry, sorry, I'll stop… but have you thought about boys at all?"
I have LEGIT had this exact same conversation with my mom, with the exact same response.
>entering the number into her phone.
Ohohoho, what are you up to here, Laura?
This continue to be a lovely and relatable series (well, getting numbers from boys, not so much, but everything else!), Jack's interactions with Laura were spot on, and it's really cool to see Laura slowly come into her own.
Author's Response: Mwaahahhaa! My master plan to kill with cute is realized!
Laura is a FAITHFUL girlfriend and she is not up to ANYTHING.
Date: 11/14/18 03:47 pm Title: Chapter 7: Pillow Talk
Wow, Claire described what it's like being a woman with a male body *perfectly* (as I'm sure you're aware, it *sucks*)- but good on her for pointing out that she can't make the decision for Laura, and for suggesting she see a therapist. And Laura's description of her experience- that being male wasn't too bad once she learned to ignore expectations- is near identical to mine. But, as I'm sure she's discovering, there's a difference between existing and *thriving*. Overall, this scene felt very authentic to me.
I'm looking forward to when Laura's able to finally come to terms with herself and really consciously embrace the gender euphoria from having a body that she's finally comfortable in!
(oh, and this bit- "Claire delighted in being the big spoon for once, holding Laura to her chest protectively as they settled down for the night" - made me squeal. Oh, my little gay heart, they're so precious!)
(Also, strap-ons are A+++, would recommend)
Author's Response: <3 I'm so glad these girl's experiences are still tracking well. I worried about writing Claire being so secure in her gender because idk. It's hard to imagine not being curious and writing so many characters who just don't have that background noise on their personality feels wrong. I still push back on the idea that not everyone questions but I put that aside to write this.
this novella just covers a week so while I'd love to get Laura from egg to fully hatched and thriving I fear a lot of the best parts of gender euphoria will need to be epilogue material. Looking back I kinda see this arc as gender dysphoria triage where I put Laura through rapidfire interactions to get her from stuck to growing.
Date: 11/14/18 02:10 pm Title: Chapter 7: Pillow Talk
Aww... Laura's shell is starting to crack :)
I wished this technology existed when I was an egg... would've made it so much easier for me to figure myself out.
I like how Laura said she was "fine with just existing as a male". So was I, and it wasn't until I transitioned that I realized how low of a bar "fine with just existing" is. If you're "just existing", your not quite living.
Author's Response: It's not fair that she gets to do it out of order is it? XD. It's... Enlightening finding so many people who were "fine with existing"... I definitely wrote this thinking "I bet nobody has really transitioned due to this low level of interest, my sister was near suicidal from the stress before she transitioned... I can just project this lukewarm mentality as a way to convince myself I'm not trans."
so uh... I'm gonna go scream in a pillow later and I'm getting scheduled with a therapist (as of last night). Thanks for your perspectives and kind words! Sorry for over sharing in my comment reply.
Date: 11/14/18 01:53 pm Title: Chapter 7: Pillow Talk
This story is starting to get interesting. A little chance to watch “Laura” learn about women and Claire help her do it. The “technical” part is a bit lacking though.
Author's Response: I don't know why you put Laura in quotes but... Even though it's a fictional character I'm low-key offended. I'm just oversensitive like that.
Thanks for the criticism? I can hardly begin to guess what you mean by "technical" but I'm glad it's getting interesting. Can you point out specific paraghraphs that gave you fits? I've spent two months editing and read this dozens of times so I'm well and totally blind to what style flaws remain.
Date: 11/13/18 06:12 pm Title: Chapter 6: going and going and going.
My reactions, in order:
1) HOT (seriously, not going to lie, I don't mind being 5'10/177cm, but there are definitely times where I wish I was a little smaller so my wife could pin me against the wall like Claire does to Laura)
2) Hey, Laura gets off the exact same way I do (fingers on G-spot, palm on clit pressing forward)
3) Oh, good, Claire put the conditioner in Laura's hair *before* they got to fucking- it'll have more time to soak in that way.
...don't judge me :-P
Seriously, though, I love the attention to detail - Laura trying to figure out how her body works now, an accurate depiction of squirting, the potential awkwardness of shower sex, Laura being in a daze after her first female orgasm, even noting that Laura has short fingernails (which, trust me, is *really important*) - it's all really good. Looking forward to what comes next!
Author's Response: The short envy is real for me. I am actually over 6' so I have a full f****** 6th of my height to lose for my ideal frame. Feels bad. xD.
long hair... Is so fun. I had shoulder length for a while and I cri because nobody ever got to pull it before I was sheared to hold a presentable job.
no judgement here, sometimes it just sounds really good to get finessed and unmade. *Rubs hands together* now it's time for that sweet sweet pillow talk and after care!
Date: 11/12/18 08:38 pm Title: Chapter 5: Wakey, Wakey, Eggs and Bakey!
Y'know, the more I read this, the more similarities I see between myself and Jane:
Didn't realize she was trans at first? Check
Is (presumably) a lesbian? Check
Has a mother who's *way* too excited to finally have a daughter? Check
Is weirdly passive towards said mother? Check (I didn't really start to develop personally boundaries until I was well into transition)
Has a bisexual, athletic girlfriend who's supportive? Check (we just celebrated our two year wedding anniversary last month!)
Adores skin-to-skin contact? Check
Didn't have any clue how her vag worked at first during sexytime? Check
Seriously, though, this is a great chapter, I love Claire as a character, and I think you're right to focus more on the emotional intimacy of sex than purely the physical mechanics of it (I mean, don't get me wrong, I love reading about getting finger-fucked in exquisite detail as much as the next lesbian, but this isn't that type of story)
Author's Response: I promise I didn't steal your life story for funsies XD. Those bisexual girlfriends tho. Just the best. Never had one but ugh. So great. I can't buhleeeve you would call my beloved Laura "Jane". (I'm the worst with names I've done that to other people's stories, it's so f****** funny to me I'm sorry). Buuuuuut yeah! Thanks for that sweet sweet validation! I have a very strong suspicion that you may continue to see similarities in Laura. Congrats on your anniversary! I'm totally not burning with jealously at the beautiful life you've built for yourself! (I totally am, but I'm just so happy for you)
Date: 11/12/18 03:05 pm Title: Chapter 4: Mom's new doll
Looking forward to meeting Claire!
And yeah, definitely having flashbacks to early on in my transition, when my mom made a point to be "helpful"- although, thankfully, she 1) actually had some fairly good advice and 2) wasn't anywhere near as aggressive as Mrs. Cole.
(I still say "Bah!" to the make-up thing- I stopped wearing it on a daily basis as soon as I got to the point where I could pass without it, and never looked back :-P )
Author's Response: the scene opens to Mrs. Cole, kicking down the door of Laura's apartment: "you're a big girl now so i brought you curlers, tampons, and stiletto heels! now get dressed so we can have a spa day!" *thunder rolls in the distance and the neighbor does a Wilhelm scream*
oh god. fun as makeup could be, i think everyone involved for this little slice of life is done with that XD. Tune in next as this smol egg is whisked away by an athletic bisexual that is willing and eager to switch on the dom XD. (disclaimer, BSDM is not a theme in this relationship, has not been in the past, but god am i forecasting it for the distant future.)
at the risk of being repetitive, i am so thankful for your comments and opinions. its so inspiring to hear about your experiences and im kinda laughing at myself for not considering this weird aggressively supportive parenting tactic might resonate with people other than myself.
Date: 11/12/18 12:36 pm Title: Chapter 4: Mom's new doll
I don't wish to be unkind but I would like some more detailed description of what Laura and others look like, the drawings are not detailed enough and look pretty much like a shaggy haired young man. I also wonder at how passive Laura is, I imagine we are meant to be questioning this as obviously most non Trans people would object more to getting dolled up and bullied into femininity by a pushy mom, apparently living out her fantasies through her poor unwilling (?) new daughter.
Author's Response: don't you worry. you are being perfectly kind and i welcome the criticism. the illustrations i did are pretty amateur stuff, low detail and i avoided drawing without reference at all cost. you can probably see the residue of the grids i drew to keep the scale with the references i used. so facial structure is in flux just from that, i tried to keep the hair consistent but that too is all over the place. i don't like describing my characters all that much. i try to give as much detail as i think could be needed as briefly as possible and move on. Despite my interest in drawing this, i don't consider myself particularly visual in my imaginings. that will probably leave a lot of scenes 'looking' bare too as i bet i dont once tell you the color of anything that isn't worn. so. supplementary character descriptions. Dr. Cole is modeled somewhat after keira knightly to start. she's named that way because of Elizabeth Turner from pirates of the Caribbean. Mr. and Mrs. Cole i imagine looking like Molly and Arthur Weasley from harry potter but with brown or graying hair. i should have described Mrs. Cole at least but that's a failing on my part. all i think i've explicitly stated is that her hugs are smothering, her purse is huge and jingles loudly with her flail of keys, and she has the same hair genes as Laura so thick wavy hair. As far as Laura goes, for starters i can give you a freehand sketch i did that i didn't put into the novella: https://photos.app.goo.gl/TsrTtpmPjHHreeVd6 all i think I've made explicit about her is that she has brown wavy hair that's roughly shoulder length and layered a bit rather than being a bob. and she's also shorter now, going from 5'10"ish as Matt to more like 5'5" or so. Claire is going to be 5'8" so this takes Laura from the tall one to the short one. i don't have anyone that i based her off of really so i don't know a good reference to show you that is higher detail than my doodling. So. the passive thing. Laura is passive, was passive as Matt, and is always even more so around Mrs. Cole. i'll get into Laura's trans leanings more as the story develops but at this point it is established that she took the class for the final. she wanted to try out being a girl. that will be explored later but right now that is most of what i've given you outside subtext to tell you that Laura doesn't have an aversion to femininity, even this toxic femininity that Mrs. Cole is pushing. she may rationalize it as "when in Rome" or she may be letting it happen because she was interested in trying makeup at least once. Maybe a little of both. Laura being around Mrs. Cole is a power struggle she's afraid to win. Mrs. Cole won't let go of Laura's childhood and rather than push back and assert her adulthood Laura prefers to avoid. she didn't reach out or visit her mom for the last week even though she's already been a girl in body for a while and as i'll get into later she even had her first period already. she loves Mrs. Cole but since she can't be herself around her she tries to just not be around her. Laura still feels financially dependent on her parents and due to this she avoids making waves out of fear that she will damage the relationship. she feels like she has to be on her own two feet more to be respected as an adult so until she considers herself an adult she will continue letting Mrs. Cole walk all over her out of fear and complacency. it's not healthy, i don't advocate it, but i have lived it and it's something i do to the character to make her real to me.
Date: 11/12/18 12:06 pm Title: Chapter 4: Mom's new doll
Like the direction of your story, how the character good ows will be interesting
Author's Response: I'm so glad! Of course now that you like this direction it's going to immediately pick up and shift for the next couple chapters XD. Thank you for the kind words!
Date: 11/12/18 09:10 am Title: Chapter 4: Mom's new doll
[comment posted at chapter 4]
Alright, this is finally the story that got me to create a TGST account. I thought there was a comment system, but I guess there's only reviews? Anyway, I wanted to speak about the topic in the 3rd chapter's end notes.
Gosh do I relate to hating parent characters. I don't like having them in my stories beyond them being plot devices, and I always feel awkward when they pop up in others's stories. It's no different there: I hate these parents, despite their... supportiveness, if it can even be called that. It's painful in all the ways you get called a crazy feminist for calling out.
Thanks for writing this story. Looking forward to the future chapters, and I'm gonna continue discussing them with my friends.
Author's Response: Thank you. Thank you so much. I'm so flattered and psyched you get what I mean. I remember when I started writing Mrs. Cole I had the thought "I want her just like my mom but not homophobic or conservative Christian" and as she developed she took on a lot of the baggage my family relationships have. Because I love my mom, but it's impossible to feel independent around her. I'll always be her baby boy and that's why Laura doesn't reach out to her until she's desperate. Thanks so much for coming to comment! I look forward to hearing how you feel about how things progress. Let me know if you wanna see her in the epilogue XP. (Or if you want her to be explicitly and conspicuously absent)
Date: 11/12/18 01:44 am Title: Chapter 3: forward. Step by step.
As someone who has lived through her mother trying to make up for lost time and cram 27+ years of mother-daughter bonding into a single conversation on more than one occasion, Mrs. Cole is entirely believable.
Author's Response: i am equally delighted and sorry XD. Just one more short chapter of the mother time before you get to meet Claire!
Date: 11/10/18 11:15 pm Title: Chapter 2: Setting Out
Oh, this looks like it's going to be so good.
And I like the username :)
Author's Response: *profile stalks super subtly* so if you like heroes and villains... This is nothing like that. xD. I hope it's good, I worry that it's too fluffy to be interesting but we shall see. I'm glad you like the username, I like wearing my shell like it's fashionable.
Date: 11/10/18 06:29 pm Title: Chapter 2: Setting Out
This is intriguing stuff, well written characters and enough realism to really sell it. Thank you.
Author's Response: That is so kind of you to say! Thank you! I'm glad the pseudo science isnt dragging down my limited anatomy knowledge too much :).
Date: 11/10/18 03:15 pm Title: Chapter 2: Setting Out
Laura's shell just cracked, didn't it?
Also, love this portrayal of a society where gender change is casual and normalized.
Author's Response: That shell is going to be shredded lol. Laura is going to take her time coming out for sure and half the time it will be like a little chick stumbling around with an eggshell hat XD. As far as casual and normalized goes, it's getting there. This is a modern AU to real life where this tech is in it's infancy so I've tried to imply that this isn't mainstream yet. The society interactions won't be anything like real life I think but they won't be casual or normalized because I love suffering. All I can promise is that Laura has every bit of support she needs.
Date: 11/10/18 03:14 pm Title: Chapter 1: the Cold Clinic
Ooh, I am totally intrigued by this! Really original premise, I like that the character *starts off* as a girl, the illustration really adds a lot, and I'm curious to see where this goes.
Also, re: women's clothing being cold, and speculums being uncomfortable- A+++ for verisimilitude.
(There really is no direct equivalent to the sensation of getting your labia spread *shudders* )
Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad you like the illustration! I drew for 10 of the 18 chapters so it's just a little flavor, sadly I didn't keep the pace for the whole novella. I did my best to carry that real-ness of her experiences through but 100% of the credit for that goes to my beta readers who have actually lived some of these experiences. I'm psyched to hear what you think going forward!