Date: 02/19/20 07:51 pm Title: Chapter 1
I don't think Ava played fair. Brad should have gotten time off his challenge for saving the girl's life. And putting her boobs up to the peephole was just plain cheating. Other than that it was a pretty interesting concept for a story. I liked reading about the different situations Brad and then Lexi found herself in.
As for the writing, you switch back and forth between first and second person, sometimes in the same sentence. That can make it hard to read. "He picked me up, and pretty much tossed Lexi like a ragdoll onto the table, Lexi’s boobs bouncing through her top."
There are also a couple of places where the female is called Brad instead of Lexi. "Brad orgasmed, his fluids pouring out of his body. Lexi was too exhausted to get up, but Chad wasn’t about to stop yet."
Overall a very good, if a little unfair, story. I like your creativity. Thank you.