Date: 05/09/19 06:31 pm Title: The House that Carol Built
Really liking the story so far. Characters are great and the story very engaging. My only complaint and it is a slight one... there is one misspelled or wrong word so far in each chapter. Anyway, it in no way bothers the story. This chapters end threw me for a loop as the ending was unexpected. Looking forward to reading more!
Date: 10/29/18 01:02 am Title: It's Only in My Head
Per your chapter 7 end notes, I sure hope there's a positive outcome for the detective. Not personally wild about stories where the protagonist suffers endlessly and gets progressively screwed worse and worse. But will read to the end, no matter where you take us.
Author's Response: Don't count Jack out just yet. Sasha's memories aren't all fluff and bubbles.
Date: 10/25/18 11:55 am Title: It's Only in My Head
You’ve elegantly constructed a fantasy around some of my biggest kinks here. Stuck in an attractive form against my will and then gradually mentally transfigured - and then on top of that, embedded it in a well written and compelling framework. I can’t wait to see where you take it from here.
Date: 10/23/18 11:46 pm Title: It's Only in My Head
Wow! This is bone chilling evil. Very well written. I can't wait to see what happens next. I hope the detective turns the tables on this guys!
Author's Response: Sorry to say that things are going to get worse before they get better.
Date: 10/23/18 06:34 am Title: It's Only in My Head
Waw ! What an excellent chapter. I love it. Even if the plot may seem clear now (Mathew will come in help in the last moment before the last flip), I am eager to see the new tennager personality of the detective having in grip only a bit of his old one. Please, don't make us wait for the next chapter and thank you again for this story (one of the best in this site).
Author's Response: Thank you for your kind words. I certainly aim to entertain. However, things might not be as clear as you surmise. As for the wait, I promise it won't be too long.
Date: 10/23/18 05:12 am Title: It's Only in My Head
Aand it turned into horror... Not that I don't like it that way. I wonder what you can come up with next... Great chapter!
Author's Response: Thank you. And I agree with your assessment. Losing one's self is always fraught with terror.
Date: 10/21/18 05:53 pm Title: Out of the Frying Pan ...
Ever considered changing your username to Cliffhangers Mistress? Anyway, great chapter with twists I did not expect. They're the bad guys. Wait, they're the good ones? Oh.
Maybe Jack will acquire some neat powers to help with her escape?
Author's Response: Cliffhangers ensure that you'll come back for the next installment. ;)
Date: 10/20/18 03:21 pm Title: Out of the Frying Pan ...
Exciting chapter. "You're not going to be happy with what he has planned." I wonder what that is. . . One thought, if they have a drug that can prevent a hopper from jumping, why not drug the agents? No need for the mirrored glasses.
Author's Response: The answer to that is actually addressed in a future chapter.
Date: 10/17/18 10:38 am Title: The House that Carol Built
You created magic with this one. I am very hooked to this story now. Please continue soon and this is pure gold. Thanks for sharing your amazing story. Waiting for more.
Author's Response: Thank you for your kind words. I try to not make my readers wait too long for their next fix. Unless they've been bad. ;)
Date: 10/17/18 09:46 am Title: The House that Carol Built
Enjoying it immensely. You manage to get in the head of your characters and bring out their thoughts and feelings so we can relate to them. Never stop writing.
Author's Response: Thank you! I plan to keep entertaining as long as I can.
Date: 09/28/18 07:25 pm Title: Square Peg, Round Hole
Limbos, you obviously have a real flair for the middle-age guy to teen girl genre. And I love it! Story is great so far, lots of intrigue.
"Detective" does remind me of the story, "Know All Your Enemies" by Clarity. But with the mafia instead of mutants. Can't wait for more!
Author's Response: Thank you. I find it easier to imagine a grown man being turned into a young girl than changing a boy into a girl. One of these days, I may swap someone into their current age. But today is not that day. ;-)
Date: 09/28/18 08:26 am Title: Square Peg, Round Hole
Wonderful stuff. I’m a sucker for the gradual subsumption of an original personality, and you’re handling that creeping alteration of self in a very believable and titilating way.
Add this to the intriguing plot that’s unspooling, and you’ve got me hooked.
Thank you for sharing your work with us, and long may it continue.
Author's Response: Thank you. I, too, enjoy the sudden body change but a slow personality change. Hopefully you will continue to find my little tale intriguing.
Date: 09/25/18 08:36 am Title: Who Am I?
Quite an ethical question, body hopping is. Does stealing others' bodies make Matthew a good guy, or a bad one? Even if it's with the consent of the 'victim'? I hope someone can find the answer.
Exellent chapter, looking forward to more!
Date: 09/23/18 09:15 pm Title: 1. No Good Deed
Nice twist on an old trope, a trouble-causing body-swapper who has (a) their own set of urgent problems and (b) a conscience, rather than cold disdain, about what effect they have on others. Cute plot twist regarding how "I can't change back with you." Looking forward to where you take this next.
Date: 09/23/18 01:51 pm Title: 1. No Good Deed
This is a serious contender for the best written and most interesting 1st chapter to any story I've found yet. That is not because I haven't enjoyed many either. It is just so good that it has replaced several of my all time favorites.
Author's Response: Thank you so much! Chapter 2 should be ready in the next couple of days.
Date: 09/23/18 01:17 am Title: 1. No Good Deed
Limbos, you are such a tease - I love that about you.
You set the bar almost out of reach with "Revenge of a Goddess", but I am confident you will give life to another masterpiece with "Detective".
Author's Response: Thank you!! Revenge of a Goddess was my first attempt at writing a TG tale. Glad you enjoyed it. I hope The Displaced Detective lives up to your expectations.
Date: 09/22/18 07:11 pm Title: 1. No Good Deed
Excellent start! Well written and balanced with action and imagery (if that's the right way to say it). A couple typos here and there, like extra commas (I think): Being married to a cop(,) was something; and Calvary (cavalry). Also, I think you're missing a verb here: I slipped my keys back into my pocket before [something] away from the vehicle and back onto the sidewalk. Anyway, good job and hopefully you write more!
Author's Response: Thank you. I try to catch typos before submitting my stories, but one of those naughty devils will occasionally sneak past me.