Date: 07/08/19 02:05 am Title: Chapter 41 - Epilogue
What a story...
I figured out the sister relationship long before the reveal, so good foreshadowing and consistent story-telling on your part, well done.
I love the way your worldbuilding is present right from the first chapter, and how your narrative 'promises' come to fruition. From the Giant religion, to how the way the world works being so closely woven into the story. It's very tight, all in all.
There are a few missing words or stray phrases along the way; easily fixed with a re-read if your looking to perfect things.
I don't know if there's anything more I can say other than colour me impressed. Well done 😊
Author's Response: Glad to hear that the worldbuilding turned out well. I spent a lot of time outlining this story before I began writing it because I was hoping to create a 'tight' storyline and I wanted the story world to be the source of some major plot devices (emperor's crown, giant's foot, etc). I always prefer to read stories that weave everything back together, and I'm so happy to hear that you see those traits in my story. If I find the time, I may go back through and edit some of the missing stuff in this story - I know there's quite a few pesky errors. They usually come in when I've stared at a page for too long and all the words start to meld together. <3
Date: 06/18/19 10:06 am Title: Chapter 41 - Epilogue
Thanks for the work, quite interesting)
But personally, I like it much more when a book is written from the 1st person.
Author's Response: I also enjoy writing in the 1st person better than 3rd, though I didn't feel comfortable writing 2 PoV characters in 1st person. Maybe some day! <3
Date: 06/15/19 04:23 am Title: Chapter 41 - Epilogue
Thank you. Thank you for writing this. Thank you for this story. Thank you so much. It has brought me much emotions, and I have enjoyed the ride immensely.
Author's Response: Thank you for reading! I'm so happy to see that people have enjoyed my work. <3
Date: 06/14/19 05:24 pm Title: Chapter 41 - Epilogue
Another perfect story by one of my favorite authors on the site. Thank you so much for this Clarity, I've enjoyed this ride so much. This was the most perfect ending and wow... that secret at the end, I didn't suspect that either. You're so good at surprising me even at the end. You're just the best and I always look forward to your stories!
Author's Response: Thanks for reading, Lil! I'm glad that at least a few of the twists in this story weren't too predictable. I usually don't have too many big reveals in my stories, so I'm pleased that people seemed to have enjoyed those! Thanks again!
Date: 06/14/19 05:47 am Title: Chapter 41 - Epilogue
If I had to make a "Best of TGST", Tearforged would definitely be the first on that list!
Thank you for this amazing story
Author's Response: Aw, I'm flattered! I wouldn't even go that far and I wrote the darned thing xD Love ya
Date: 06/14/19 02:29 am Title: Chapter 41 - Epilogue
So sorry to see it end. Looking forward to your next one.
Author's Response: Thanks for reading! I'm working on a book right now and I have no more TGS stories planned, but I'll definitely leave the possibility open.
Date: 06/14/19 01:42 am Title: Chapter 41 - Epilogue
OMFG Clarity! This has to be one of the best stories you've ever done. I'm speechless with Awe. Hat's off to you. This is my favorite story ever on this site.
Author's Response: Thank you! That means so much to me. You've been so encouraging, and I'm tempted to write another story on here just for you :D
Date: 06/14/19 12:04 am Title: Chapter 41 - Epilogue
Absolutely loved this story, and the ending and epilogue really brought things home well. I'm going to miss waiting for updates on Tearforged, but I'm looking forward to reading it again as a complete work. I definitely plan on recommending this story to friends, as the world-building, characterization, and storytelling worked so well together. Thank you for sharing this with us all.
Author's Response: Thank you so much! I always agonize over endings because I know that a big component of how we remember a story is the ending. It sticks with you, and can either be great or it can ruin the previous 30-odd chapters :D Glad you enjoyed it!
Date: 06/11/19 10:07 pm Title: Chapter 40 - Rise and Fall
"Together" EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE SO CUTEEEEEEE! I LOVE THIS SO MUCH! I'm so glad Tannon is okay, it would have been awful had Cross' mom lost both her children. IT's bad enough we lost Cross but there just was no way to avoid casualties with a monster like this.
I cant wait to see how they change things up and make hair color no longer an issue.
Also awwwwwwe Zare and Liral are soooo cuuuuteeeee! I love them together, I hoope they'll get at least one extra scene of them being super cute together! I hope for a last scene of Daila and Liral being adorable sisters and Folston and Daila being all cute too!!!!
Author's Response: Your wish is granted! Thank you for reading! <3 You're the best
Date: 06/11/19 04:47 pm Title: Chapter 40 - Rise and Fall
I am so going to miss this story, so well written. There are so few stories here that could be written and go mainstream and this is one of them. You write beautifully and your characters seem so real.
I almost didn't read because the different color hair thing sounded so stupid but reading it made complete sense when we judge people based on skin color and that's one of the reasons why this story could be expanded and mainstreamed.
Author's Response: That's awesome to hear, thank you! The different hair color thing is a bit silly, I agree, but I'm glad that the concept grew on you :D
Date: 06/11/19 03:36 am Title: Chapter 40 - Rise and Fall
I suppose that only the epilogue is left. I once again want to congratulate you on writing such an amazing story. As I believe I have mentioned before, your ability to write interesting and nuanced characters exceeds many mainstream published authors. You actually inspired me to start writing again, so thank you!
Author's Response: You are correct! Only the epilogue remains, though I will do my best to make it as interesting as possible <3 Thank you so much for the kind words, and I'm beyond glad that I've inspired you to write as well.
Date: 06/11/19 01:48 am Title: Chapter 40 - Rise and Fall
Thank the mother flipping giant for all of this! Dang it's a good chapter.
I think I might be the only person who would be interested in reading about the geopolitical situation of rebuilding a collapsed empire and overthrowing a caste system and the consequences thereof in a fantasy setting. But I know that's not as much fun to write as adorable romances. I've only been reading this story irl for a short period of time but this was your first story that I read and fell in love with. I'm bummed it's ending but I can't wait to read whatever else you write.
Thank you so much for the chapter!
Author's Response: Thanks for reading! I agree that the aftermath may be more interesting than the tale of Folston and Daila's rise, but I think it'd be a very different type of story :D
Date: 06/09/19 02:46 am Title: Chapter 39 - Faith
Continuing to love this incredibly well-written tapestry of a story, happy for some of the positive turns, and sad it's drawing to a conclusion...
Author's Response: Ooh thank you. I'm definitely going to steal that line 'tapestry of a story'. It's so eloquent! <3
Date: 06/05/19 06:00 pm Title: Chapter 39 - Faith
I knew it! I knew they'd come for him! THAT many souls? Yeah you were playing with fire, you're an evil man and you deserve worse than what's happened to you. I hope your soul is tormented forever.
Author's Response: Yup! Sometimes too much power is too much for anyone to handle, good or evil.
Date: 06/05/19 02:01 pm Title: Chapter 39 - Faith
Oh noooo. I caught up. My heart is broken. This story is so lovely. I'm so happy to read them.
Author's Response: I'm working on the next chapter, so you won't have to wait too long! The bad news is that I only have two more chapters planned, so this story is wrapping up. <3
Date: 06/04/19 09:31 pm Title: Chapter 18 - Unleashed
I've been burning through this story today, literally burning through it. If this was on paper I'd describe it as a total page Turner. Just wanted to say that this is absolutely adorable. I just can't wait to read what happens next.
Author's Response: Haha, thanks so much! I didn't think that this story would be adorable when I first began writing it, but I suppose I can understand that.
Date: 06/04/19 10:34 am Title: Chapter 39 - Faith
What a thrilling and clever way to turn that around! That's the best way to do it - you foreshadowed it, set it up perfectly - and it still never occurred to me. Superb.
Author's Response: Aha! That makes me so happy to hear! I always worry that my foreshadowing will either be way too obscure or way too obvious, so I'm pleased to hear that it struck a balance. Thanks for the feedback! <3
Date: 06/04/19 09:25 am Title: Chapter 1 - From the Fog
I'm upset now, upset because story is ending. We have characters we've grown to love and they will be gone soon. But, the memories will always be there.
I will be adding this to one of my favorites.
Author's Response: Aw, I know. There always is a bittersweet sadness when you get to the end of a story or series. I'm so proud that my characters were able to evoke that feeling <3
Date: 06/04/19 07:14 am Title: Chapter 39 - Faith
The emperor falls. All that he deserved. Struck down by his own ambition.
I'd called that his own totem would turn against him, I didn't think of the totem needing to be activated from outside.
And that kiss! So deserved. Gosh, Zare is an excellent lady.
And of course, as the rules of storytelling demand, that means the emperor will have been struck down barely moments before the giant stomped his foot down. The royal couple is alive, I'm certain of it.
Gosh, this story is just as awesome as ever.
Author's Response: You predicted it! Nice! And you may be onto something with your 'rules of storytelling' :D Thanks for reading!
Date: 05/31/19 12:22 pm Title: Chapter 1 - From the Fog
Excellent point. I want my stories to have likable characters, and don't want to see bad things happen to them. But when bad things do happen, I want to see them struggle, fight back, soldier on, and overcome.
Author's Response: Yup! That's a mistake that I made with some of my earlier stories: the main character has to be at least somewhat likable
Date: 05/30/19 06:21 pm Title: Chapter 1 - From the Fog
Don't apologize for cruelty, you're supposed to be toying with our emotions and making evil cackling noises. And petting your cat.
Author's Response: Fair enough! As Kurt Vonnegut said, "Be a sadist. No matter how sweet and innocent your leading characters, make awful things happen to them--in order that the reader may see what they are made of." I hope that this shows their mettle.
Date: 05/30/19 04:05 pm Title: Chapter 1 - From the Fog
Well, I did send you an email! ....
I don't know if you've ever got it :D ....
Anyways, continue the very fantastic work.
Author's Response: Sorry, I'm terrible about checking my email <3 I just got back to you, though :D
Date: 05/30/19 03:45 pm Title: Chapter 38 - A Final Kiss
loving the story so far, just some problems with maybe a lack of preparation and innaction sometimes, i mean Daila could have shaped the statue before and i can't hold the anxiety for their decisions i mean Dalia is really smart and i admit that she doesn't have experience but at least she could have made better preparations and strategies.
Well i've read all you'r stories and the romance tag is you'r firm so... checkin everyday for the next chapter thank you.
(pd: i'm not criticizing but the war scenery could've been a little more realistic XD)
Author's Response: Thanks, Chromie! That's a wonderful piece of feedback, and I went ahead and edited the chapter's events accordingly. I also hate my immersion being ruined thanks to unrealistic character decisions, so I'm super happy that you caught this! In the new version, Daila explains why she did not have the statue pre-Shaped, and she no longer waits so long to begin the Shaping process. She gets right to it :D Thanks a ton!! Feedback like this helps my writing improve!
Date: 05/30/19 12:45 am Title: Chapter 38 - A Final Kiss
AHHHH NO NO NO! PLEASE NO! OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG! This is horrible... what the hell is that thing? How is the emperor able to just keep making these things, how come Risara was able to overpower Daila, was her will too weak? Or are we gonna see all the spirits he stole rip him apart. I'd love that xD I know it's your story but ahhhhhhh it's so scary! I don't want her to die or him or Liral and I"m so afraid... one of them must to die... or they cannot win...
Author's Response: Ah, yeah. The source of the Emperor's power will be a major point in the coming chapters, and it will be explained more fully. <3
Date: 05/29/19 06:08 pm Title: Chapter 1 - From the Fog
WOW ... I must say ... this is, by far, the best story I ever read in this website!
Author's Response: Thank you so much! That means a lot to me. I try to improve with every piece I write, and feedback like yours steers me in the right direction :)
Date: 05/29/19 03:44 am Title: Chapter 38 - A Final Kiss
No! Please don’t die Dalia! I know I complained about the cliffhanger last time, but this? This is just cruel! Also, I just want to note that I have read mainstream fantasy books written by established authors (Looking at you George R. R. Martin) that are not as well written as this story. Hugs, Alexa
Author's Response: Aw, thanks. I'm flattered! Also, I'm deeply sorry for my cliffhanging cruelty. I will try to put fewer cliffhangers into my next story xD
Date: 05/26/19 07:48 pm Title: Chapter 1 - From the Fog
Clarity, I've got to say..... this is by far my favorite story on this site, and definitely in my top ten for best stories I've ever read. Your writing is magnificent, and the plot of this story has left me on the edge of many seats as I've read in awe. When I see that a new chapter of Tearforged has been published, it makes my day. I've been reading since the first chapter was published, and it's been amazing to see Daila and Liral grow as characters. The main consistency in all of your stories is that the characters are marvelous. Ash and Kayda are downright fantastic, and Daila, Liral, Auri, Folston, Cross, Zare, Risara, Kess, and sooo many more characters from Tearforged are just so fabulously developed. And the many, many twists are astounding, from Madam Marsa, to Liral and Daila's relation, to Cross... like I said before, Tearforged has left me on the edge of many seats. If I had the option to give this story a higher rating then five, I'd rate it so highly that the system would have difficulty comprehending the number.
I do have one question. Is there a possibility of Zare's return before the end of the story?
Your writing is amazing, Clarity. From Tearforged, to Perfect Harmony, to Know All Your Enemies, your stories are extremely wonderful. If Tearforged was published as a book, I'd buy a copy and then try to get everyone I know to buy one, as well. Thank you for your hard work and time spent writing stories and for sharing them to all of us here on the site.
Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm beyond flattered. I always worry about whether or not my characters are going to be interesting, and I'm pleased that you feel like you can relate to them. Truth be told, all of my main characters display at least one major character flaw that I've detected in myself, though it's usually blown to a more serious proportion. It seems as if that strategy resonates xD Also, that last bit makes me so happy to hear, as I'm considering writing an actual book soon. <3 And Zare will DEFINITELY return before the end. I'd be doing a mediocre job if I didn't tie up that loose end :)
Date: 05/21/19 12:12 pm Title: Chapter 37 - Sisterhood
Good chapter, loved the interaction between the two sisters.
Author's Response: Thanks! I wish I could have united them earlier, but it didn't work with the flow of the story. Next chapter is going to be much more action-packed and gritty, hope you enjoy it just as much!
Date: 05/21/19 06:26 am Title: Chapter 37 - Sisterhood
eeeeeeEEEEE!!! Finally, the meeting between the two sisters! And a start of a thing between Liral and Auri~? Gosh I'm so looking forward to the next chapter as usual
Author's Response: Hehe, very observant! There definitely was a hint at some action between Liral and Auri...we'll have to see about that one, won't we? I'm working on the next chapter, hope you enjoy it! <3
Date: 05/21/19 04:34 am Title: Chapter 37 - Sisterhood
Curses! I hate cliffhangers! Excellent work. I really like how you contrasted Liral and Dalia; it was interesting seeing a description of Dalia from Liral’s point of view.
Author's Response: I'm sorry, I didn't intend for this chapter to be a cliffhanger! The 'plan' won't actually come to light for some time, but I assure that it will be interesting! I had a lot of fun writing about Daila from Liral's perspective, I'd been looking forward to writing that bit for some time :D
Date: 05/21/19 03:55 am Title: Chapter 37 - Sisterhood
I HAVE A PLAN YES!!! I'm so afraid though, I'm so afraid that... this beast will be too much for them and it will require more sacrifices to take this monster down. I really hope it doesn't but... y ou write so good so I'll just sit along for the ride and bite my nails and hope Liral doesn't die... Or Daila either, Liral found true love, her sister loves her deeply as does her departed mother. But I really really don't want Liral to hurt anymore... after Cross oh heaven's cross... and his brother and his mother is going to be so heartbroken... this man has to be stopped. Permanently.
Author's Response: I'd love to tell you that it's all sunshine and rainbows from here, but there will be some trouble ahead. Like in real life, however, there will also be laughs, hugs, and heroics. I hope you enjoy it <3
Date: 05/21/19 01:45 am Title: Chapter 37 - Sisterhood
Lol! As usual Auri is hilarious.
By the way I would love to get this story animated in Webtoon. Although I guess you would have to find an artist. 😅
Author's Response: If I had the ability to draw, I would definitely consider making something like that, but I wasn't gifted in that way. <3
Date: 05/15/19 07:06 am Title: Chapter 35 - Justice
OMG!!! OPAL TOO! And Liral and Daila are sisters and get to work together to stop the big bad YES!!! OMG FINALLY SHE ACCEPTED HER! Daila is a MILLION BAJILLION TIMES BETTER NOW!!! She's amazing and Liral's amazing and I omg hug both girls for me please!
Author's Response: I will give them loads of hugs, just for you!! There may be a hug or two in the next chapter xD
Date: 05/15/19 03:45 am Title: Chapter 36 - All Hail the Queen
I am consistently amazed at how you are able to get better and better with each chapter you write. It looks like at long last Liral and Dalia are reunited. My main question now is: will Liral get a happily ever after with Zare?
Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm so glad that you're enjoying the story, and I promise that there will be developments in Liral's love life ;)
Date: 05/12/19 07:41 am Title: Chapter 35 - Justice
Dang. Now that was a smooth way to get someone out of a trial. There's a couple of missing, like 1-2, from some people talking, but other then that I am so thrilled with this chapter.
Author's Response: One or two words? I found one of them, thanks to your feedback! <3 Thank you!
Date: 05/11/19 05:29 pm Title: Chapter 35 - Justice
Now that Daila got her happy ending I'm afraid you're planning to kill her off.😓
You're really good at telling stories. Why don't you publish all of your stories together in a single book? 🤔
Author's Response: I won't rule it out! Thank you very much for the kind words. I do plan to publish a book in the future on a different topic, but I plan for these stories to always be publicly available for free :D
Date: 05/09/19 09:49 am Title: Chapter 35 - Justice
Stunning development in the last two chapters. Well, the mariage seemed like a pretty self-evident one, but it remains a heavy one nonetheless. And I'm gonna agree with what someone else said in their review - coming into this chapter just after Cross's death made me genuinely worried that Dalia might not make it.
Author's Response: So glad that you've enjoyed the story! And yes, Cross's death was a bit of a calculation to pierce the 'plot armor' veil and remind everyone that these characters are mortal. Could there be more main characters killed off in the future? Maybe. There's definitely at least one major showdown yet to come. Hope you enjoy that just as much :D
Date: 05/09/19 05:56 am Title: Chapter 1 - From the Fog
YES! YES! YES! I knew they'd get married.
I am so involved in this story it isn't even funny.
Author's Response: Hehe that's awesome! All my life, I've always read tons of books and felt that exact same way about other people's works. It means a lot to me that my own story could evoke emotions like that! Thank you so much!!
Date: 05/09/19 03:56 am Title: Chapter 35 - Justice
Wow. Just wow. The last two chapters have been intense; quite possibly your best writing to date. It was really clever to kill off Cross the chapter before Dalia’s impending execution; it made it seem for a moment that Dalia might actually die.
Author's Response: I'm so flattered! I try to improve with every story I write, so that means a lot to me. As far as Cross goes, you're absolutely correct. All story long, I've wanted the two story arcs to mirror one another in terms of the rise and fall of their emotional states. My hope was that in leaving Liral in a terrible place, it would be implied that Daila's circumstances would worsen as well. And, as Kurt Vonnegut wrote, sometimes as a writer you have to be a sadist. Characters don't grow without some sort of pain in their lives. <3
Date: 05/09/19 02:52 am Title: Chapter 35 - Justice
Damn Clarity. I'm almost ashamed to say that both of these twists came out of left field for me, particularly the marriage proposal even though royal marriages to fix problems and solve conflicts are a tale as old as royal people existing. The fact that Liral is actually a light-haired Scythari princess is even more crazy.
This story has been incredible the whole way, and I can't wait to see how it ends, whatever happens.
Author's Response: I think you're going to enjoy the ending! Fortunately, I structured this story's events a long while ago, so everything should come together in a very cohesive way (hopefully). Glad you've enjoyed it so far! <3
Date: 05/09/19 12:04 am Title: Chapter 35 - Justice
YES!!!!!!! FOLSTON YOU BEAUTIFUL BASTARD YES!!! Oh he's brilliant he's smart and he's such a YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!! I still don't know hoiw they are going to kill the emperor but he really really needs to die.
Author's Response: It's happening!! and yes, they'll have to take down the big bad meanie next. I believe in them!
Date: 05/04/19 07:40 am Title: Chapter 34 - The Liar
OH my God... no... not Cross... I really liked him. And Liral... wow she is Daila's sister? Oh my Goddess this just gets more and more twisted. I wondered how they linked together and now I know... wow you're good! How long have you known they're siblings?
Also... the emperor needs to die a horrible death, a thousands horrible deaths, I hope the spirits of all those people he entrapped rips his soul apart!
Author's Response: The twists keep on twisting! This is a plot line that I had outlined before I began writing this story, and I tried to leave a few hints here and there xD
Date: 05/04/19 01:11 am Title: Chapter 1 - From the Fog
Finding an update to Tearforged is one of the highlights of my day. I've loved your previous stories, but the world building and interleaving of details between stories in Tearforged is simply wonderful. It's definitely left me teary eyed at times, and deliriously happy at others. The reveal about Liral was a huge surprise, though it makes a lot of things add up, looking back. I'm really looking forward to re-reading it all once it's finished.
You mentioned that you aren't a professional author, but do you have a Patreon or Ko-fi? Publishing houses generally suck and self-publishing has its own issues, but the time and effort you put into your writing really shines through, and it's nice to be able to support creators with that kind of passion.
Author's Response: Thank you so much! Again, I'm truly flattered. I do spend a great deal of time outlining my plots and making sure that everything lines up. For me, though, this is more about practicing and learning, as I do plan to write a real book one day. When I do, I'll let you know :D
Date: 05/03/19 05:37 am Title: Chapter 34 - The Liar
Omg, like 15 chapters ago I posted when we found out Lirals mom was scythari and royal that she was Dailas sister. I didn't think I was right but holy crap is it still a shock. This is probably my favorite on the site.
Author's Response: I know! You called it and I wanted to congratulate you, but that would've given it away :D Congrats!
Date: 05/03/19 04:25 am Title: Chapter 34 - The Liar
Unexpected twist.I know we all predicted that the two stories will collide some day.But never would have thought they were brother and sister or now sister and sister.
Author's Response: Yup! I regret that their connection is revealed so late in this story, but I'm glad that it was unexpected! I'm usually not too good at revealing twists, but I'm trying my best :D
Date: 05/03/19 01:41 am Title: Chapter 33 - Cloak and Dagger
Wowsers, this story really sucked me in... and I just got to the last chapter (so far, fingers crossed) and discovered a double-cliffhanger. I'm stunned. Looking forward to the next chapter!
Author's Response: I know, I feel like such a jerk for double-cliffhanging. It'll be resolved soon, though!
Date: 04/23/19 02:51 pm Title: Chapter 33 - Cloak and Dagger
Sss that cliffhanger jeje now to read the chapter
Author's Response: I'm sorry! I know, I hate cliff hangers too. I'm the worst. I'm editing the next chapter right now and it'll resolve some major plot points, I promise xD
Date: 04/07/19 02:07 am Title: Chapter 32 - Into the Depths
Ladybugs and gentlebeings, please join me in reverent gratitude for being gifted a story like this from an author who, I would not be surprised to discover, could well be a professional writer in real life, and who's merely goofing off with us in this little (but still exquisite) TG backwater. I mean, WOW! Already 32 chapters, two deep and fascinating major threads with people who haven't even crossed paths yet; we have conflict, romance, magic, good and bad guys and some who are some of each; plot twists and revelations and character development. Thank you, Clarity.
Author's Response: Aw, you've gone and made me blush. I'm definitely not a professional writer, but I hope that I will be some day! I've only ever posted on this site and I've been writing for three years or so, and I just try to improve a bit with everything I write. Without feedback from people like you, I probably wouldn't write at all, so this means a lot to me. I'm glad that there are people here who can endure the slow pace of my stories, and this site has given me confidence to branch out with more serious works. <3
Date: 04/05/19 12:10 am Title: Chapter 32 - Into the Depths
Totally speechless, not just because of the plot but because how deep things develop and attract you to them, such a cliffhanger, still, 5 stars =3
Author's Response: Thanks! I hate to end on cliffhangers, but I promise that this cliff will be resolved in due time :D
Date: 04/04/19 08:05 pm Title: Chapter 32 - Into the Depths
Oh SHADOWS!! I hope Daila gets out of this. She really has changed—her acceptance of her fate and her realization that this isn’t betrayal, but justice, proves this. I hope her relationship with Folston survives. She really, truly loves him. I hope they get to end up happy together. This was a really well written, action-packed chapter! Your stories really do make my days a lot better!!
Author's Response: Thank you so much! It has been striking to watch the evolution of readers' feelings toward Daila. For the first third of this story, people seemed far more emotionally invested in Liral's story. I'm glad that Daila has redeemed herself both within the story and outside of it!
Date: 04/04/19 04:09 am Title: Chapter 32 - Into the Depths
Finally, everything I hoped for finally happened. And from the reactions I’m seeing, the couple will manage to get over it (the rest of the people might need more convicing though!). Folston, I’m counting on you to organize an excellent prison bust.
Author's Response: It's certainly possible that they will persevere through this with some Prison Break shenanigans ;)
Date: 04/04/19 04:07 am Title: Chapter 32 - Into the Depths
Poor Dalia! I feel that right before the city is going to be besieged is not the best time to kill the extremely powerful Shaper who could potentially help with the defense, and just saved your sons life.
Author's Response: A fair point! If only the king had considered this
Date: 03/22/19 09:49 pm Title: Chapter 31 - Butter Knife
Oh no. So much happened in this chapter. Daila and Folston are definitely a really cute couple!! Risara has better help Daila get them out of this situation. I knew Madam Marsa was a bitch, but I didn’t realize she was capable of callously murdering anyone who gets in the way of her ambition. Then again, torturing girls is kinda a red flag. And oh no, Auri! Folston! Daila!! I hope they can get through this.
Author's Response: They can do it! Also, Marsa has even more mean motives, too. She's the worst!
Date: 03/13/19 04:41 pm Title: Chapter 30 - The Madam
I fucking knew this monster of a woman hid a secret. She can go be devoured by a pack of hungry dogs. [tries to click next page] ... Wuh... Wait, where's the rest? Where's the rest!? This is outrageous, this is unfair!!
No but seriously, good luck on writing further! I know it gets hard. Count me as one of the chapter-to-chapter readers now!
Author's Response: Thank you! This feedback means so much to me, and I'm beyond happy that you've enjoyed everything so far. I finish all of my stories and I plan to keep updates coming regularly. I try to update this story every week, but it usually ends up being every week-and-a-half or so.
Date: 03/13/19 04:09 pm Title: Chapter 28 - Beneath the Leaves
yes the kiss the kiss finally the kiss aaaaa the kiss it happened aaaaa so good so goooood ;_; kissssssssssssss
now please come forward with your secret and discover that he still loves you just as much please please please
Author's Response: Hehehe maybe she will divulge her secrets. If she does, it'd better be soon...
Date: 03/13/19 03:34 pm Title: Chapter 25 - The Heist
Holy crap the emperor is making his crown into the most powerful totem in the world. Oh no. Fuck.
Well at least if Dalia's was any indication it'll come back to bite him in the butt and drag him to the grave, but it's still horrible and now I feel sick over finally understanding what the weird bits at the start of Liral chapters were.
Author's Response: Yup! The epigraphs were a bit of a dark touch, but I'm pleased that they've been powerful. Can't have a villain with villainy.
Date: 03/08/19 07:11 am Title: Chapter 29 - Reconnaissance
Nice chapter, I always enjoy your narration styles!
Only saw one thing. Towards the end, right when Liral sees the Emperor for the first time: "As soon as her eyes fell upon, sitting casually at his desk while he sipped a glass of wine." is a fragment and just needs a little adjusting.
That's all! Always looking forward to more ;)
Author's Response: Thanks Lanz! Not sure what happened with that sentence, but it was nothing good :D
Date: 03/08/19 03:29 am Title: Chapter 29 - Reconnaissance
Oh crap! The emperor may have foiled their plan, but hopefully Liral can think of something else. I mean, couldn’t she sneak in and cut the emperor’s throat as he sleeps: she is a dasher after all? Also, I hope we get to see some more romance.
Author's Response: Liral's not a killer! And you'll definitely see some more romance ;)
Date: 03/02/19 09:57 am Title: Chapter 10 - Revisions
Gaaaah!! If only!! If only he’d been straight! ;_;
...That was not a sentence I ever expected to utter a single time in my lesbian life.
Anyway, gonna drop the story there for today and continue reading later. Was very fun so far!
Author's Response: Oh dear, that made me laugh out loud. :D
Date: 03/02/19 09:20 am Title: Chapter 7 - Into the Trenches
Okay, I won’t exactly take back what I said in my last few reviews since they were made with only the knowledge of the story that was available back then, but I get it. You’ve introduced Delvaran’s love for men severely well.
Author's Response: Thanks. I tried to create the perception of his sexuality without explicitly coming out and stating it. Glad that style resonated with you.
Date: 03/02/19 08:58 am Title: Chapter 5 - The Pastry Girl
Okay, I am *even more* interested in Cross and Liral’s take than in the main one. This is gonna be a great ride, I can feel it.
Author's Response: Glad you like that one, too! I wasn't initially sure if their story arc would be exciting enough. From the feedback I've received, though, people seem to like Liral's little journey just as much (if not more) than Delvaran's.
Date: 03/02/19 08:40 am Title: Chapter 3 - Rise and Shine
I’m probably way too late to the party but gee, the romantic tension in that “was I a good master” line. Tells you how much Delvaran cared despite the hair color classes thing, and Auri’s reaction is so clearly that she spotted that nugget of potential redemption. I’ve been told the story later gets hetero, which is a shame because these two are so blatantly maid... I mean made, for each other.
Author's Response: Glad you liked that bit of dialogue! And yes, there may or may not be an early draft of this story where Delvaran and Auri start to fall for each other :D
Date: 02/27/19 06:15 am Title: Chapter 28 - Beneath the Leaves
This was such a wonderfully well written chapter. You really wrote the date scene well—I’m a huge sucker for romancey stuff like that, and after reading this, I’m feeling all gooey and happy inside. The ultimate “I’m yours” really shows just how far Daila has come in terms of her character. Folston really is an amazing man, and I really hope that we get to see more of this ooey gooey romantic stuff!
Author's Response: Thank you! Don't expect too much more romance, but I'm glad that I could work in a little cheese :D
Date: 02/21/19 11:30 pm Title: Chapter 27 - Sacrifice
Oh no! But YES FOLSTON! FINALLY A RIGHTEOUS NOBLE! If only we could have that in the real world with our "nobles" aka the megarich *sigh* Oh well. Either way Daila... there has to be something you can do> You can tell your army to fight with them! Or something I don't know!?
Author's Response: She does have a few options, there. :)
Date: 02/21/19 11:23 pm Title: Chapter 26 - Dawn of Horrors
Also I'm afraid Daila.. you were not the first one to discover that emotions power Totems... that's what his crown is, he's powering it up by sacrificing people and using their emotions. I hope he gets ripped apart by them that monster!
Author's Response: Yup. He's getting supercharged :(
Date: 02/21/19 11:04 pm Title: Chapter 24 - Remnants
I am so happy Daila has come so far. And... the truth about the prince. That's so sad, but it's the life of a prince... he cant marry a "slave girl" no matter how mmuch Daila may have falen for him. But maybe... maybe she could get the scythari to work with them and propose a truce between them to stop the evil emperor?
Author's Response: Maybe! That's a lovely suggestion :D