Date: 01/28/18 06:16 pm Title: The Parchment
I love the idea for this story, using the parchment. I feel the intro was executed well, it's not easy to introduce a story like this and keep people interested. Like Day Dreamer, I skipped a couple bits as I'm more interested in his reaction to the change rather than sex. Don't get me wrong, I don't disagree with you including the sex, just not something I go for. I loved the long list, will be making use of that personally outside of TG Storytime.
I've got one question, what is meant by desire? I'm not a complete idiot, I've got a couple ideas, but I'm not sure exactly what you mean.
Thanks for an amazing story, can't wait for the next one
Date: 01/28/18 03:19 am Title: The Parchment
I enjoyed this even though it was longish for a single posting/reading... You might want to serialize/chapterize next time. Parts were a bit blunt/icky for me, but that's just me, and I skimmed past them. The magic parchment is a creative twist, although the list of settable attributes is kind of long to actually read over (repeatedly), yet in real life probably wouldn't be long ENOUGH to get the job done well. (I fantasize a highly interactive options tree.) I was surprised when you started having the parchment change in real time to match the character's experiences -- huh? But still, a good enough read, worth writing and posting, thanks.