Date: 01/21/18 10:29 am Title: Scene One
That was fun and clever. I look forward to seeing more of it.
The only problem I noticed was the dialogue formatting. You need to start a new paragraph when a new character starts talking, and if a dialogue sentence is embedded in a larger "he says" type clause, the dialogue sentence shouldn't end in a period; if it would normally end in a period, it should end in a comma in that context.