Date: 06/27/19 07:03 pm Title: Truth or Dare
Apart from Matt, her friends are creeps, especially Max, I'm getting a real bad rapey vibe from that asshat. The Mother is too eager to erase her son, I don't really like that sort of thing. I don't hate this story, it has some fun and interesting stuff going on but there are some really lazy clichés going on that you need to address if you want this to be anything other than just OK
Date: 06/27/19 05:01 pm Title: Truth or Dare
Oh my God, girl get the fuck out of that house annd away from those gross incels. Oh God you need to learn modesty and to not do shit like this for your friends. Girls don't do this for their friends, these guys don't want a friend they want a fantasy. They're incel garbage and you need to HIGH TAIL IT OUT OF THERE
Date: 06/19/19 04:12 am Title: Shopping
93 heavily criticizes all stories here. I'm more of the opposite, giving five stars to crappy stories even (which I'm breaking out of). That said, while this story has some plot holes (which one doesn't?) I don't think it's bad at all. It eludes enough that I can determine what might be going on without it being explained. I think if you maybe tried to twist it into a mystery story with some kind of supernatural power or effect, then things could get interesting. It already has enough of the base for that kind of storyline. That said, I'd be okay if you just continued it as is... Maybe with some raunchiness for entertainment.... Recap: it has lots of potential, but its a slow start and it could use excitement or reaunchiness. (Perhaps the drug is going to change her mind more and make her do exciting plot things?)
Date: 06/19/19 03:23 am Title: Boys' Night
Even if it's just a story, you still have to create a world where things make sense, which you clearly haven't. I am also a bit confused by the latest chapter. Joe is clearly enjoying jer feminity and body and likes to show of to turn men on but at the same time she refuses to change pronouns or clothes, even if that would help her even further in her apparent quest to get laid or whatever.
Date: 06/18/19 01:00 pm Title: Hospital
How can they know so much after only 26 hours? If it's never been encountered by the medical staff they won't have any idea what they are dealing with until several weeks or months have passed.. There are a few issues with the grammar as well.
Author's Response: It's a story calm yourself this is your third review saying the same thing
Date: 06/18/19 01:32 am Title: Boys' Night
Whoops, lost toxic substance in a briefcase, probably not something you want to touch on accident.
I hope he doesn't turn into a female ninja turtle! Or maybe I do. Or maybe that would be weird.
I should ask Master Splinter. Or maybe Master Oogway would be better. Or maybe I should just read the next chapter.
Date: 06/17/19 11:36 pm Title: Boys' Night
IDK if it matters to you but since the story is set in Houston there might be a few changes in word selection to make it more "American".
mate -> friend, cinema -> theater, lads-> guys, mum-> mom, bum-> ass or butt
It is just that while reading the story I was visualizing the setting and the conversations and the use of British-English was discordant to my brain.
But, I love the story, keep it up. I will be looking forward to more chapters.
Author's Response: Good point, I was thinking that myself. I will go back and change that at some point