Date: 01/15/19 12:42 am Title: Epilogue
I hope Karma gives it to Gregg as hard as Gregg gave it to Kiki.
Hazed was an interesting story, but I was honestly turned off by the rapes Kiki endured from Gregg and the TA.
Author's Response: It was supposed to be dark and, yes, I wanted you to feel a little mixed. There is, however, a happy ending.
Date: 01/09/19 10:07 pm Title: Another Tradition
James' sarcasm is spot - on, but since it is silent, not very effective. It does give the reader a good sense of how he feels about the whole college situation, however.
Author's Response: He's too bashful for that. You'll see he's submissive.
Author's Response: He's too bashful for that. You'll see he's submissive.
Date: 03/04/18 04:12 am Title: Epilogue
I finally set about finishing this one, even though I didn't really want to. But it's a very wtf kind of ending. It was a great story, but I'm left wanting so much more. I NEED to know what happens next. Chloe, you know I love your stories. Please keep them coming.
Author's Response: I promise! You'll know! Thanks for reading!
Date: 03/01/18 05:59 am Title: Epilogue
Short, but feels well-earned. A long, well-written, experiment in abuse and growth.
Honestly, this is one of those where I come back and say that I didn't really like this, it wasn't a fun read, but very well done, and emotionally raw. From previous author's notes, I believe you came from a similar perspective.
Thank you for sharing.
Author's Response: Honestly, that sounds just perfect and what I set out to do. There aren't really any redeeming characters in Hazed, even James. We can feel sorry for him but, I think, it's hard to root for him like he's a hero. And, yes, it was an experiment in abuse and that was my intent. Pablo likened it to A Clockwork Orange - disturbing. That's high praise but, whether earned or not, it's the sort of story I set out to write. I actually felt a little icky as I wrote it and edited each chapter before posting. I'm glad to be working on a happier project now.
Date: 02/25/18 05:56 pm Title: Epilogue
I am loathe to criticize any author who takes the time to create and then is generous enough to share their work. On the good side, you had an excellent premise and a lot of great directions to take your story as it was set up. Coming to terms with increasing femininity, feelings about changing sexual orientation, clothing details, sexual details, adapting to female persona out in the world, how family would react.
But then on the down side, you provided very few details about any of the above and gave very superficial treatment for even the most enticing aspects of the story. To top this off, with respect to this work only, you are the most needy of any author I have ever encountered on any free fiction website. You designed this story and its releases of chapters with what I perceived to be a need to feed your ego of being in control and then playing games with releases, breaks and cliff hangers. If it was meant to be a way of keeping interest, it came across as being unduly peevish and certainly annoying. For a work with 79 chapters, it seemed much, much shorter as the meat of it all, without the cheap device of simply recycling the use of your prior stories, was very insubstantial. Your use of your prior work also lends credence to the ego observations. What was the point?
You have multiple sexual encounters but none last more than two hundred words and usually a very short paragraph. Great pictures but I know you know how to write more comprehensively than this. You have done it before.
The worst part was then ending with none of the threads you had set up being addressed at all and it even being a question about what happened to Kiki and was it Kiki who confronted Greg at the last encounter. Then, what about the parents, the brother any of it? You had it set up that James would become Kiki and then be humiliated in front of family and father getting the shame of his son being turned into his daughter. But none of that was even hinted at even though you had set up story for this exact thing to happen. And the threads with Mom? Did Kiki reveal herself to her, what further discussions about missing wardrobe or favorite new boots which would certainly be missed. Anything?
You had such a great concept and you can be a thorough writer and do have great talent. But in the end, Hazed was disappointing, frustrating, incomplete and seemingly written to stroke your ego and play manipulative and then unfulfilled games with your readers.
I do thank you for your efforts and your prior work and I went wholeheartedly for the ride on this one. I will continue to read your work and thank you for your prior masterpieces. All in for Charity, Collenti 37, The Lockout, Bachelor/Bachelorette, really almost everything else you have written.
Don't know if the attention span is failing, as it is with all of us as this internet effects all of us, but this work is noticeably different and lesser than your prior ones even thought the premise and elements were all there.
Don't want to be too harsh but want to let you know what I really thought. Thanks again.
Author's Response: Hazed was supposed to be a story of the destruction of a young man at the hands of an uninvolved and chauvinistic father, a horrible mother, and an opportunistic classmate with no moral compass. It was NOT a story of that young man's journey, per se. That is, not about his side of the experience because he's simply becoming dehumanized. That's why we don't hear James's thoughts about his feminization. He doesn't seem to enjoy dressing up or sex. He does, however, find he enjoys servitude and the stars have aligned to satisfy that need as a prostitute/w**** (ironically, just like his mother). Twisted, as advertised. As such, I didn't want to include long sex scenes because that wasn't the point. Just as I didn't get into his physical changes (there were very few) or how he's dressing. That's not what Hazed was intended to be about. The quoting from other stories is intended to mirror the experience that James's parents have in their bedroom as his mother recounts her sexual exploits. I had asked (in the Discussion forum on this site) for quotes from other authors but when I didn't get any, I resorted to plan B and used my own. As to the ending, it's a cliffhanger and that's something I wanted when I began writing. I set out to build up a storyline that would leave readers with many questions. I did warn readers about that (more than once) and, to the extent you find questions unanswered, then, like it or not (it seems you're in the "not" category), that was my intention. Hazed was an experiment in many ways. It has no protagonist (I think we can feel pity for James but it's hard to really like him). It's seriously twisted and dark with simply awful characters from James's parents to Gregg to Gregg's brother and his TA. And then there's the ending that was supposed to make you want more. You don't have to like my experiment, of course, your feelings are your own. Just like my feelings are mine and we should never assume we know another's feeling or motives. It's not only wrong, but it's hurtful to hear someone suggest why I did what I did and that my actions were guided by my ego. I don't know why you, for instance, chose to write such a review but I won't tell you or others why you did - I can't know that. I'm still the same author who wrote the other stories you mentioned and I'm still driven by the same forces. Ego isn't a more significant driver than it ever was. I do know, however, that I'm experimenting more and trying to have more fun. I wrote my first Sci-fi story. I wrote a story told in the first-person from two different people. I've tried to add comedy. I've published a story with an image in every chapter. I have characters from other stories making short appearances. I wrote Top20 and started releasing segments one at a time. I started releasing Teasers for my longer stories and then I wrote Hazed. None of this is any more ego than it ever was. For me, all of this is good fun and I've enjoyed the interaction I've had with readers along the way. I do like reading your thoughts, and not just when they're complimentary. But, please, on behalf of people everywhere, don't tell us you know what we're thinking, how we feel, or what our motives are. Ask us. I for one, am always happy to answer.
Date: 02/23/18 10:20 pm Title: Epilogue
I don't know... I expected it to go a different way. It was good and the images were super on-point, it was just a little more difficult to believe than most. Either way, it's still good.
Author's Response: Oh, that's a bummer. I wanted it to be believable (or a little bit, given the extreme outcome). I'm glad you liked the images, they were fun for me.
Date: 02/23/18 02:46 am Title: Epilogue
You have so much more to this story that can be told you have family,she could still be submissive,could become strong .I think you should r e move the epilogue and continue the story personally I think she should become strong work with her mom on her dad actions I understand what you were doing with this story but a strong second book would be fun
Author's Response: Oh, there's more, alright. It'll come and I think you'll like it.
Date: 02/22/18 04:02 pm Title: Epilogue
noooooo dont end it like this :) i so want to see what he does to Gregg!!! But either way i really enjoyed the whole story and looking forward to see what your next story brings
Author's Response: It's not over, just over for now.
Date: 02/22/18 02:48 pm Title: Epilogue
OMG! Really? That's it? Harrumph!
Author's Response: Harrumph, indeed. I set out to do a few things with this story and one of those goals was to build up to a real "what the heck happens next?" cliffhanger. I hope I got that part right and that it had the right effect for you!
Date: 02/22/18 02:45 pm Title: Epilogue
oh my GOD! This is so good. But its also so bad! I love it and I hate it. You did warn us- what a cliffhanger!!!!!!!!! OMG, Chloe, I love. I hate you! What's James going to make him do? It is James, right? Is it Kiki? I hate you. I love you. It's soooooooo good! Where's that six star button?
Author's Response: I'm glad you liked it. My next one's more routine, though. Hope you like it, too.
Date: 02/22/18 10:35 am Title: The Final
I dont think its Greggs name on the coin !
I think its James/Kiks Dad or something like that, just to throw a wrench in the cogs of James/Kiks plans...
Author's Response: That would have been wild, but I kept this part simple.
Date: 02/21/18 09:52 pm Title: The Final
OMG OMG OMG! Tiffany! And who's Brett? Love "this is what closure feels like". And Gregg's name is on the coin. And so much more! Chloe!!!!!!! How can this end tomorrow? That last line. It's just perfect. OMG! This is so good!
Author's Response: Hmmm... Brett.... (she says, getting you to wonder)
Date: 02/21/18 07:35 pm Title: Final Gift
I feel sorry for Kiki,
Gregg has been using her all this time and never ever thought about her more than an object but at the same time she seems to really like that part of her life and seems to really adapt to it and perhaps she would have a much better life as a woman. So taken this into account I still think she should go ahead and get breasts and then go from there and finally decide something for herself if not then her stupid dad will decide what she should do. Maybe if Kiki learns to fully accept her feminine side and stand on her own two feet she will come out better from all of this and get a bright nice future with someone who truly loves her.
Great story so far and I hope its not the end yet and I hope for many more chapters about Kiki and her new life or maybe that's a new story?
Thumbs up to you Chloe, keep up the good work!
Author's Response: There are many more chapters, just not in this story. I'm glad you liked it.
Date: 02/21/18 03:21 pm Title: Final Gift
Wait a minute. You told us the hazing couldn't be permanent. Is this a plot hole? Still, I love that Gregg is a total jerk right down to the finish.
Author's Response: Good catch and, yes, Gregg might just be the worst villain I've created.
Date: 02/19/18 10:26 pm Title: Final Farewell
Yeah, right, but Kiki doesn't have the "Balls" to do that anymore I'll wager! And I'll also wager that "Grrrr"egg would be to chicken sh** scared to honor the requirement...
Ok ChloŽ dear, time for some redemption maybe? Hmmm? Loving Hugs Talia
Author's Response: Redemption will have to wait. I did warn you about the cliffhanger ending, right? A happy ending will be here eventually.
Date: 02/18/18 10:20 pm Title: Moving On
How are you going to wrap this up in just a few more chapter? Chloe, I've loved and hated this story. It's a masterpiece and really gross at the same time.
Author's Response: Cliffhanger, remember? But there will be a happy ending (later).
Date: 02/18/18 08:43 pm Title: Moving On
This is just depressing... I know you say a "good ending" is coming but this poor kid has had literal hell and no one cares, not a single person. I feel so bad for James, he's the only redeemable male in this group so far. It's going to take YEARS of therapy to fix this, if he ever does.
Author's Response: Yes, for better or worse, depressing is right. Dark and twisted, as advertised. I wanted to do something different with Hazed.
Date: 02/18/18 04:47 pm Title: Moving On
you're not ending it with this chapter are you? hoping to see how he does when Greg leaves and he's on his own. but this whole story has been one big mind game on poor Kiki and still looking for the happy ending.
Author's Response: No, but close. This was my cliffhanger story.
Date: 02/17/18 08:42 pm Title: History Lesson
Love the story, particularly the photos.
Hate Greg with a passion. Hope he goes to prison and becomes a cum dumpster for anyone with an itch to scratch. Hope that in the last 5 chapters, Dad, Greg & little brother plus TA get their comeuppance. Also hope that James/Kiki is not left as a weak mindless bimbo!! Good future for James/Kiki. Really, really, really bad future for the other assholes!!
Author's Response: Some of my favorite pics, too!
Date: 02/16/18 10:52 pm Title: Lacing
After remembering what happened to her at the last visit I’m feeling sorry for her. Greg must really want that A
Author's Response: I don't think Gregg cares at all about Kiki and I think that's sad because he could have something special.
Date: 02/16/18 04:33 am Title: The Farewell
Well I went and read that other story before I read this chapter. Just wondering did Greg know that the 3 girls where actually guys? And now I see what you where talking about with his little brother. Great read on both counts
Author's Response: We don't know but, no, Gregg was probably unaware of who those girls really were at the Getaway. I just think it's fun that his little brother has been mistaken... twice. But the fun is over now and we need to think about poor James and his final weeks.
Date: 02/15/18 03:40 pm Title: Staying Out
Hmmm. Seven chapters left and it’s hard to see James getting out of the rabbit hole. Maybe he’s going to be content to be Gregg’s submissive plaything for life. But we’ll find out in due course, right, Chloe? I’m sure there are a few twists still to come. Fine writing as always.
Author's Response: One more notable adventure and one big twist. It'll be fun.
Date: 02/14/18 10:18 pm Title: Pleasure
i never read the Getaway so guess ill have to read it so i can better understand Carl. love your sex scenes. so Hot
Author's Response: The story is Fans of Either Team. It's a simple one but if you read it, you'll know Carl has had sex with two people. He thinks both were girls but he's actually been with men both times. I'm thinking of keeping him as a character so we can see how many times he can unknowingly be with a guy in a dress.
Date: 02/13/18 09:24 pm Title: More Sharing
for a second there i thought they where gonna double team her. her submission is total just hope Greg doesnt hurt her. really enjoying this story
Author's Response: If you read about the Getaway, there's something funny about Gregg's little brother and his adventures with sex.
Date: 02/13/18 02:32 pm Title: Making New Friends
Well after a long break from here I’m back. Just finished the 69 chapters. So nice to come back to one of your stories. The photos the sex scenes and the submissions in your stories just rock. Though the underage thing kinda bothers me, guess it’s part of the story. Wonder what Greg has in mind for him next. Great story so far
Author's Response: I kept the boys old enough to be legal but I wanted to show that Gregg was using, abusing, and humiliating James in every conceivable way. School's nearly over for Gregg.
Date: 02/12/18 03:09 pm Title: First Fight
hey cash! just checking in so ya don't think we've stopped reading. don't worry, i'm sure all 370 thousand of us are still here jerkin' away. I'm still loving the story, and ... okay honestly i am super into submissive dudes getting girlified against their will, but somehow i am so on board with James standing up for himself....so long as he stays pretty lmao.
but yea, gregg is a fucken prick. i'm honestly rooting for James to hook up with someone else. still with that dom/sub dynamic (i'm here for the nut after all) but ... Gregg doesn't deserve him! find some other hot dude and fucken rub it in Gregg's face!
Date: 02/12/18 03:34 am Title: Staying Out
At this point in time I've stopped trying to figure out where Kiki is going on from here, except that while she might try to return to James, it's not who she is anymore.
Author's Response: It's been quite a long, sad journey.
Date: 02/11/18 09:49 pm Title: First Fight
Ummm, it's about time comes to mind! Maybe that coin will be useful after all!"Grrrr"egg needs to be prepared for prison life also comes to mind maybe? ChloŽ dear, we're get close to C-79, when's Kiki/James getting away from all this? Loving Hugs Talia
Author's Response: Right! The coin... the coin...
Date: 02/11/18 04:01 pm Title: First Fight
Glad to see her get some backbone. I know you don't like to do full transformations, but I think she needs to take some further steps such as hormones and implants, if needed. Since I eagerly wait for each episode, I guess I'm going to have to give it a 5.
Author's Response: Gregg's about to graduate, so something's got to change. In the end, you'll be satisfied (but not until then, sorry). This story's all about how James loses his identity. It it's any consolation, I'm almost done drafting the next one and it's a love story that's complete in every way.
Date: 02/08/18 04:35 pm Title: Coupled
Hmmm, this is starting to sound like "Fifty Shades of Grey" ChloŽ dear! Loving Hugs Talia
Author's Response: What I like about this one is, looking back, you see James was just an ordinary kid. Then you see who he's become and, if I got it right, it's natural enough to think this just might be plausible. Poor James... will he find himself?
Date: 02/08/18 12:49 pm Title: Staying Out
100% amazing. i love the use of pictures! and the story itself is perfection. something about the main character being desperate to please, and then feeling smug and like they've outsmarted the person controlling them... just beautiful.
Author's Response: So glad you like it. Still more to come.
Date: 02/03/18 01:51 am Title: Staying Out
Darker and still darker, Chloe. It’s hard to see how Kiki is going to get out of the Stygian depths of this rabbit hole, but I somehow feel that you’ll find a way. She seems lost right now, though.
Author's Response: Exactly and just when it seems she's found the basement, there's one more level below to explore. But spring break is coming and, with it, some hope.
Date: 02/02/18 06:41 pm Title: History Help
Please Kiki Greg is scum. He doesn't love you, he just sees you as someone he can pass off for free money and have sex with on the down low. I can 100% bet that if he was ever asked by his roommates if he had sex with you, he'd vehemently deny it and get you kicked out of the house. Please... find a way out of this!
Author's Response: Hang in there, Spring Break is right around the corner and James will regain his will.
Date: 01/31/18 05:41 pm Title: Empty
I like the boots! Can you find them for me in a size 13 ChloŽ dear? (Giggles). Turns out James's father is a real piece of sh..erh work! And Momma's not much better (has she no self esteem at all?). Saying they're kinky is being way to polite! Loving Hugs Talia
Author's Response: I don't think they're in the running for Parents of the Year.
Date: 01/29/18 06:06 pm Title: Really Making Up
Hmmm, The " times up" movement would have a field day calling out and rounding up all these co-conspirators! ChloŽ dear, I know you said things will get better for Kiki, but this stuff is going to take years of therapy to sort out! Loving Hugs Talia
Author's Response: Years for Kiki, decades for James. Which will it be?
Date: 01/28/18 11:23 pm Title: Making Up
Eew! Really? Poor Kiki just formed any image of Momma dearest she'll not soon be able to purge! Ugh! ChloŽ dear, still here... loving hugs Talia
Author's Response: James seems truly lost. You're right, it's seems like it's just Kiki now.
Date: 01/28/18 12:31 pm Title: Making Up
I don't really like Gregg and the way he uses Kiki but she finally found a way to be happy and she might have come to the conclusion on her own, she needs to become the woman she is. Or if she follows the path of Gregg and that's not good then she can at least take care of his needs without being jealous. I knew it would come to this sooner or later and I think Kiki did the right thing by leaving the room, even if it was out of jealousy but still the right thing! She should stand by her ideals.
Great chapter and it was nicely written and I love the images you use, keep up the good work!
Author's Response: There will be, eventually, a happy ending. I always end a story that way.
Date: 01/27/18 09:42 pm Title: Making Up
Okay, now this chapter was just plain strange. What the "f" is Kiki doing? And damnit I would have loved to have seen the pink maryjanes! You cut off her photo just above the knees. (Unless it came that way.)
Author's Response: Here you go: That's how I found the image, sorry. And, as to the story, you were promised twisted, remember?
Date: 01/27/18 12:43 pm Title: Homecoming, Epilogue
Run away James. Grab Tony and git. Your parents deserve each other.
Ugh, this is a depressing to read, Chloe. Are those two adults for real? if you met a pair like James' folks would you wish instantly evil thoughts on them, or would it take a few days to come around to the truth? It sounds to me like neither of them know the real James/Kiki and will never accept (her). I'd call child services if I were James for his and Tony's sakes. They are one depraved pair of human beings.
And as for "A Clockwork Orange," I doubt anyone would ever suggest that Kubrick's opus wasn't nevertheless an exercise in depravity. Alex and his droogies were about as decrepit as one would want to be.
Author's Response: The sad thing is, James feels he needs this now. This lifestyle is satisfying something in the poor boy. He's unhappy with the side-effects but he can't just run away. Sigh... he'll figure it out. Eventually.
Date: 01/27/18 12:43 pm Title: Homecoming, Epilogue
I really wanted to know more about how everything led to this, I knew Greg was an ass and only used Kiki, but never in a million years did I think that his dad went this far or that his mother helped!!? Those are not parents and they don't deserve James/Kiki.
Then we have the way Kiki reacted after finding about his mother and being jealous means that Kiki is the one thats staying, or at least that's what I hope.! I only hope that Kiki will find someone who truly loves her for who she is or want to become and not someone who only sees ways to use her....
Really good story so far and I hope you keep up the good work Chloe!! 5 Stars!!
Author's Response: It's been fun, reading comments as the story built up. If I didn't want to spoil it, the teaser would have said: "An dominant, traditional man loans out his wife for sexual favors. He's such an incompetent father that when he meddles with his son's life, in hope of making him into a man, he, instead, turns him into his mother."
Date: 01/27/18 01:16 am Title: Homecoming, Part V
Do you know what one critic once wrote about Stanley Kubrick's "A Clockwork Orange" back around its original premier? He said, 'there isn't one likable character in the whole damn movie.' And yet ... it was a hell of a masterpiece. So go figure.
Author's Response: That might be the nicest thing anyone's said about this story. Not at all like you...
Date: 01/26/18 11:43 pm Title: Homecoming, Part V
Every single one of the main men in this story deserve to be executed. (except for James and his brother) These toxic masculinity bastion all deserve to be dunked in lava.
Author's Response: I did say "dark and twisted" right? You're not done meeting candidates for the lava pool.
Date: 01/26/18 09:39 pm Title: Homecoming, Part V
I thought very carefully about my reaction ... I decided, uh ... uh huh... If there isn't a law against men like James' father ... there ought to be.
Author's Response: I'm sure you get it by now. The worst thing about his father is that he's uninvolved and unaware that his efforts to turn James into a man like him are backfiring. Instead of turning James into his father, it's turning him into... (I'll let you finish).
Date: 01/26/18 02:52 pm Title: Homecoming Part IV
“James! You must have guessed nobody would see you like that but your housemate is home! Now get back to your room before he comes out of the bathroom!”
"You're making an assumption, mom. An absurd one. If I wanted no one to see me like this, why would I come here to Gregg's room, first? Think it about it. I'll wait." (That sounds a little like something Shelden Cooper would say in the Big Bang Theory.)
You don't have to comment, Chloe. I'm just being an ass.
Author's Response: You're nothing but trouble. Ok, so you're a closet cross-dresser and everyone's away for the night. You're wandering the house freely and having a nice evening but, then, when you're in the hallway, you think you might hear something. Any chance your instincts might have you look? And, given what you know about Mom, she's not really the analytical type. That, at least, is how I found it plausible but I didn't work hard - it didn't seem like a stretch. Trouble.
Date: 01/26/18 01:16 am Title: Homecoming Part IV
Dum, dum, dum. (Or words and lyrics to that effect.) Oh, boy. Talk about awkward. Does she really not realize what her son has been doing for the last three years?
Author's Response: In a word: nope. And doesn't fully understand what she's been doing - until now.
Date: 01/26/18 12:44 am Title: Homecoming Part IV
OMFG! Really? (Suddenly thinking hanging "Grrrrr"egg by his BALLS is just being too polite!). Poor Kiki... ChloŽ dear, this is so humiliating on so many levels, it couldn't get any worse, can it? Loving Hugs Talia
Author's Response: In a word: yes. (sorry)
Date: 01/22/18 05:44 pm Title: Staying Out
If Mom's in the bedroom, then could it be DAD in the bathroom?!?
Uh-oh Me thinks maybe the crap is about to hit the proverbial fan....hahah.
Very well done....I've been dying these last 3 days waiting for the next chapters!!
You're a tease...and I like it!!
Please don"t let us wait too long....
Author's Response: I'll just finish the current segment of Top 20. Gotta balance the evil with the sweet. Back soon! Hmm, Dad in the bathroom, huh?
Date: 01/22/18 12:27 am Title: Staying Out
Two whole days without a follow up to that sudden WTF - this isn’t teasing, Chloe, it’s torture. I have no fingernails left. Please, please give us the next instalment!
Author's Response: Maybe you can start chewing on those toenails? I'm pausing from the twisted malice of Hazed while I posted a happy-feel-good story from my Heartbreaker series. I'll be back soon! Any idea why Mom is in that room?
Date: 01/20/18 02:13 am Title: Staying Out
I have a strange feeling that this story s about to become almost uncomfortably dark, and I for one welcome it. Maximum effect in minimal words. Well done yet agai, Chloe.
Author's Response: Everyone has their limits. Let's see how you feel as it unfolds.
Date: 01/19/18 08:56 pm Title: Homecoming Part III
From Wikipedia: "...something so unacceptably strange and unexpected from normal members of society that it transcends the traditional words that describe something weird; derived from “weird as f-ck” and may be extended in extreme situations to “weird as f-cky.” use this adjective with caution, because there will come something in your life that’s even weirder than the sh-t you normally encounter."
Author's Response: Ok, I don't want to give anything away, but, sure WaFFY. Yep. But I'm not telling you why! WaFFY.... learn something new every day. (oh, and of course I was kidding when I said you're mean - I should have added a little winky thingy)
Date: 01/19/18 05:07 pm Title: Homecoming Part III
Nice one, Chloe. That's a hell of a chapter. What is that a hundred words? You almost could have posted that in the shoutouts section. I had a feeling, sooner or later, his mom would figure out her clothes were going missing down in that basement for months at a time. And he thought he was being so discreet. Can't wait to hear what she has to say to him (when you finally get around to stop being "cute"). And no, I wasn't anticipating that one. (I'll bet I just wrote more in this review than your entire chapter.)
Author's Response: Well, you were warned, you know! Now, I'm not going to give anything away but I'm going to love reading the predictions. I think I'm more eager than you to share the next chapter so you can see why James just ran into his mother.
Date: 01/19/18 12:22 pm Title: Homecoming Part II
This is… an utterly believable and somewhat horrifying portrayal of operant conditioning. I’m still not sure if his father is negligent or actively abusive, but at this point it’s clear his mother is complicit. The romance here’s the same — the toxic sweetness of an abusive relationship passed down one generation to the next.
Your writing makes it carry though. This whole thing has been very readable, well explained, and actually almost reads like a sweet slow WaFFy story. Thank you for sharing.
Author's Response: Thatís exactly what I was hoping for! The questions you have will be answered soon. I canít wait to hear what you think. Oh, and James isnít done going deeper in.
Date: 01/18/18 02:34 pm Title: Homecoming Part II
How sure are you you'll be renewed for a second season? Many a good story disappeared after only one, because the network had other plans in mind. Absence doesn't always make the heart grow fonder. Many a series is cancelled because viewers move on to other things. I'm sure you'll be though. Season enders are cruel, leaving people hanging like that.
Author's Response: I can only hope the critics will be kind. I know my cliffhanger ending isn't.
Date: 01/18/18 12:05 am Title: Homecoming Part I
From "The Trouble with Tribbles." 2nd Season, Original Star Trek TV Series.
A Klingon named Korax, discussing James T. Kirk:. "Kirk may be a swaggering, overbearing, tin-plated dictator with delusions of godhood. But he's not soft.
Scott: [as Chekov gets up] Take it easy, lad. Everybody is entitled to an opinion.
[Chekov sits down]
Korax: That's right. And if I think that Kirk is a Denebian slime devil, well, that's my opinion, too.
A Denebian Slime Devil is a vile, disgusting vermin that dwells on Deneb IV. It will drag you down to a lake bottom, like an Alligator, and there proceed to shred you to pieces. (For more information, check Wikipedia or check out this site: http://memory-beta.wikia.com/wiki/Denebian_slime_devil
Author's Response: Tribbles are adorable!
Date: 01/17/18 09:33 pm Title: Homecoming Part I
A shame. Your readers recognize Gregg as a Denebian slime devil. A shame Kiki (James) does not. How can she have so little respect for herself? (No, I don't recognize the sweater. I haven't read all your past stories. Do you recognize my slime devil reference?)
Author's Response: Ok, it's not an exact match but look at the sweater in chapter 2. I got pretty excited when I thought I'd found images that could be linked. This story is all about characters and, as for James, he was a normal guy who had an underlying, unknown need to be dominated, to the directed, and to be used. Maybe, in a more pedestrian version, he could have become some random foot soldier in the corporate wars. Instead, three other personalities and a bit of bad luck conspired to set him up to satisfy his needs in a very different way. Anyway, who wants to read a story about a young man who takes a job where he puts up with a demanding and abusive boss but stays there because he likes the sense of belonging - boring! This time, you got me. Slime devil?
Date: 01/17/18 05:08 pm Title: Homecoming Part I
Well, Phoebe may have herself all figured out, but I'm sure Kiki hasn't yet! And I don't really care for how "Grr"egg's been using poor James. ChloŽ dear, it seems the #metoo movement hasn't caught up to them yet. Loving Hugs Talia
Author's Response: Ha! No, James isn't the "me too" type, more like the "do that to me, too."
Date: 01/17/18 03:12 am Title: Conspiracy
This is just absolutely tragic, with each post you can see James losing more of himself and finding his worth in that asshole Gregg. I wish Gregg would die in a fire, get his skin flayed from his body, dumped in vinegar, acid and the rest eaten by sharks. He's a despicable piece of shit that needs to die in a fire.
Even if James is transgender, this is absolutely horrible she needs a REAL role model and not a manipulative monster. I'm so sad for James.... he now lives to be his "master's" toy...
Author's Response: And Gregg hasn't even finished showing us how awful he can be. There's another male in the story who's no better but you might need a few more chapters to appreciate that.
Date: 01/16/18 02:03 pm Title: Conspiracy
Who does Gregg imagine he is? Kiki's pimp? Her escort service arranger? James should have slapped him one right across the face. He's headed (Gregg) for a great future as a pimp.
Author's Response: Haven't quite figured it all out, have you? Hmm...