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Reviewer: Elron Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 10/23/19 06:53 pm Title: Chapter 34 End Notes

Megan, thank you for taking time out of your busy life to create this story. It is truly one of my favorites. Not only was it entertaining, it was a bit of a learning experience as well. I think your writing is fantastic and multidimensional. There are so many little things in your story that are woven into the main plot. It just feels solid. I can't wait to read more of your stories. Finally, thank you for responding to my reviews. I know a few sentences from me can never compare to a whole chapter, but it's nice to know you read my comments. Best wishes for you and your growing family. Elron.

Author's Response: Thank you for the wonderful compliments. I always enjoyed reading your reviews and the conversations we had. Hope you will continue reading future stories. Megan

Reviewer: Amanda Lynn Signed Report
Date: 10/23/19 06:36 pm Title: Chapter 1 . Trouble in the fraternity house

Thank you for the story and thank you so much for finishing it.

Author's Response: Thank you for the compliment and reading. Hopefully it will not take six years to finish my next story! lol :) . Megan

Reviewer: djm3sho Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 10/23/19 09:59 am Title: Chapter 33 Epilouge

Love how you brought this journey to a fitting climax!

Author's Response: Thank you so very much for the compliments and for reading. More stories are on the way. Megan

Reviewer: Amanda Lynn Signed Report
Date: 10/20/19 10:34 am Title: Chapter 1 . Trouble in the fraternity house

Sure, send the picture of the baby.
It's fine for the two of them to keep in touch.

Reviewer: Elron Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 10/19/19 08:57 pm Title: Chapter 31-A Magical Trip

I was wrong. I thought Beth owed Ken's family an explanation. But if Ken never existed, there is nothing to explain. The meeting was all for Beth's sake, so she could find her own closure. And I think Thomas the angel brought the two together so that could happen.

There is no reason for Beth and Carol not to keep in touch. They can just be unrelated friends who met on a ride. I suppose it might be different if Ken's family hadn't turned out OK. Then every bit of contact would be a guilt trip for Beth. Maybe Thomas had something to do with the history of Ken's family without him? He seems to be pretty busy taking care of the details in Beth's life.

Reviewer: Elron Signed Report
Date: 10/19/19 08:43 pm Title: Chapter 1 . Trouble in the fraternity house

Megan, I just watched Age of Adaline. I thought it was a very touching and thoughtful story. Very interesting premise, I sent a text to my daughter in med school to watch it for all of the medical concepts they covered. Thank you for mentioning the movie.

Reviewer: Elron Signed Report
Date: 10/17/19 03:59 am Title: Chapter 1 . Trouble in the fraternity house

Megan, sorry I have not seen The Age of Adaline. It sounds intriguing. My wife is currently binge watching 'Call the Midwife' on Netflix, a show about nun midwives in 1960s UK. They cover a lot of taboo subjects regarding pregnancy and relationships. Things have really changed in the last 50 years.

Reviewer: Elron Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 10/17/19 03:52 am Title: Chapter 30 Making Things Right-Beth Takes A Stand

Nice message of inclusiveness. Jesus said to Love Thy Neighbor. Not thy straight neighbor, thy white neighbor, thy republican, democratic, American, tall, short, fat, thin, or any other classification of neighbor. Just Love.Thy.Neighbor. Period.

Reviewer: Elron Signed Report
Date: 10/16/19 09:45 pm Title: Chapter 29-A Secret Revealed

Megan, one of my favorite pregnancy TG stories was about a 30+ year old man who was suddenly swapped into the body of a high school girl he didn't know who was about two weeks from her due date. The author went into incredible detail to describe the physical and mental things that were happening. I learned more about the 'plug' than I ever wanted to. And who knew pregnant women farted so much. LOL.

But please, you write the stories you want to write. I'm so enamored with your creativity and storytelling skills I can't wait for your next story, whatever the theme.

Author's Response: Yes pregnant women do pass gas, hubs will attest. Our bodies do many other strange things. I forgot to mention, that I did write a story about that on another site. Did you ever see the movie “The Age of Adaline”? In the move the woman never ages, she stays in her mid-20s. I wrote a story about Adaline getting pregnant in every decade, how different pregnancy, childbirth was in each decade. Thank you again for your comments

Reviewer: Elron Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 10/15/19 04:50 pm Title: Chapter 29-A Secret Revealed

Megan, since you have actual experience with pregnancies, have you considered writing a TG story that focuses around pregnancy? I'll bet you have great perspective on the experience!

Author's Response: Interesting. I would have to think how you could make a story with pregnancy as the central theme interesting. I have completed four other stories, which I am currently editing, where pregnancy is a part of the story. In one of the stories I even say that I’m obsessed with pregnancy because of my 2 1/2 pregnancies lol. Let me know any ideas that you have on storylines. Thank you again for your comments and for reading-Megan

Reviewer: Amanda Lynn Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 10/15/19 03:02 pm Title: Chapter 1 . Trouble in the fraternity house

Beth should never tell anyone she was Ken, it would be impossible to prove and just make people think she's crazy.
Beth should be the third party to search out the brother, with permission, of course.

Author's Response: Thank you for your comments and for reading. I had decided a long time ago for Beth not to reveal her secret for the reasons that you gave. Some people had suggested that she should tell , so I put the idea out there to see if anyone had a really good reason why she should tell, and no one did.

Reviewer: Shadowgale Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 10/13/19 02:13 pm Title: Chapter 29-A Secret Revealed

I have read this story with great enjoyment.

Do i think they should find the lost brother? Only if he wants to be found. We all make choices. He was not given one then when his mom left, i think he should be given one now.

As for Beth coming clean i think she needs to forgive herself and move on. Maybe a special visit from a certain angel. But i do not see this being good in anyway. No one knows Ken. She will just sound crazy.

Thank you for this story. It has been a great emotional rollercoaster.

Author's Response: Thank you for your kind words and for reading. This story has been a journey. I first started writing it seven years ago when I was pregnant with my first child-I am now pregnant with #3. The end of this story is in site. I have four other stories that I finished, but I need to edit them. Thank you again for reading. Megan

Reviewer: Elron Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 10/13/19 01:25 pm Title: Chapter 29-A Secret Revealed

I think Martha and Steven should reach out to Martha's ex and explain the situation they are all in and the kid's curiosity about their brother. Even though he is an adult, getting Martha's ex on board would allow the Dyes to find out how her son feels and help prevent a huge blowup at a sudden revelation.

Martha also needs to seek forgiveness from her ex and her son in order to start the healing process for everyone. She came clean to Aaron, Laura, and Beth. Now she needs to complete her penance.

As for Beth, I think a secret of this magnitude will haunt her forever. There are much 'smaller' secrets that a spouse should come clean about, this is much bigger. The decision to tell anyone else beyond Aaron should be a joint agreement. I think I would leave it at just Aaron. Telling Aaron would also help to reinforce his faith that there is more out there than our visible universe.

One of the best TG stories I ever read involved a permanent body swap. Erin was able to track down her old family and friends and tell them her secret. Even Erin's sister and friends. But she never told Erin's parents. They always questioned the changes in Erin's behavior, which unknowingly coincided with the swap. The new Erin was a much better person than the old one. Many readers, including me, begged the author to write another chapter, or at least an epilogue where Erin revealed her secret to her parents. She had ample proof as it was a swap and her old body was still alive (and in jail). Not like Ken being erased from history. Unfortunately, the big reveal never happened. There are many similarities between the two stories, so if I am not to be a hypocrite then I need you to reveal Beth's secret as well. By the way, the other story is 'A Swapped Life' on FM. Like your story, A Swapped Life is one of my favorites. It also has a number of pregnancies, so it might resonate well with you.

Thanks again for writing such an epic tale, especially with all the other priorities you have in your life. Your writing is amazing.

Author's Response: Thank you again for your comments and for reading. Megan.

Reviewer: Roadbandit Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 10/13/19 11:23 am Title: Chapter 29-A Secret Revealed

No I do not think it should be told, that other life was eased. I do believe they should find the half brother. Excellent storyline.

Author's Response: Thank you for your comments and for reading. Glad that you enjoy it. Megan

Reviewer: Elron Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 10/01/19 03:38 pm Title: Chapter 28 Return To Tallahassee

Wow, I can't imagine when you would have even a spare second to catch your breath, let alone write, with 3 little ones to care for. Please take your time, and write the story the way you want it to go. Don't rush just to satisfy readers or get it out of the way. Quality over quantity.

I am an alumni member of Theta Xi Fraternity. They were responsible for keeping me focused on my degree when I wanted to screw off. Some of the best times of my life were in our house. I owe them a huge debt of gratitude.

I understand what you are saying about Aaron, his mom, and Beth. It can be a real tightrope walk sometimes.

Thanks again for all the time you have spent on this story. It shows in the quality of your writing.

Author's Response: At the present it is only 2 kids! Or to be more accurate 2.5. Third one is due in January. This past summer when we were together on vacation I was able to do a lot of writing , while the kids napped or went with grandparents and I didn’t have to worry about taking care of household things. I actually wrote 4 stories and finished this one. Now I m doing editing. I will try and do it whenever I can a paragraph or two here,and another couple of paragraphs later on. I will edit when I am at the doctors office-like when my doctor is running an hour late ugh. I also will do some editing while hubs watches football, and he supports with me tine. I dedicated these stories (all but one) to my brother. He will come over occasionally and watch my oldest so I can get a solid hour of editing/writing in. Now you know why things come out in trickles. Lol. Thank you for reading and writing back.

Reviewer: Elron Signed starstarstarstar Report
Date: 09/30/19 04:11 pm Title: Chapter 28 Return To Tallahassee

Finally, the story seemed to becoming somewhat preachy. Given all of Ken's failings, Beth doesn't come off as overly credible when quoting Bible verses. Beth may be a new person, but she has not atoned for her previous life. I've seen people live very 'sinful' lives and when they 'find' religion suddenly they are holier than thou. I hope Beth doesn't become one of those.
Thank you for all the time you have spent on this story.

Author's Response: Thank you for your comments and for reading. This story has been a journey. I started writing it when I was pregnant with my first child, and now I am pregnant with #3. Hoping to bring it to a close soon, My intention was that part of Beth's atonement was that she would help heal her family-somethng that was accomplished. I have some ideas fo rother stories where the Beth character plays a supporting role, and is instrumental in making changes for the better in different areas of society. In this story I wanted to lay the groundwork for her new life, and becoming comfortable with being a woman.

Reviewer: Elron Signed starstarstarstar Report
Date: 09/30/19 04:03 pm Title: Chapter 28 Return To Tallahassee

I don't understand what steps Aaron needs to take to further their relationship. He has been a perfect gentleman and companion to Beth.
It sends like Beth needs to do a few things to be honest with Aaron and worthy of his love.

Author's Response: It will come clearer in upcoming chapters. There are things that he and Beth need to come clean about with their families.

Reviewer: Elron Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 09/30/19 04:00 pm Title: Chapter 28 Return To Tallahassee

Overall this has been a fantastic story. You go into enough detail to make the characters seem completely real. Having been in a fraternity I can see how Ken could have gone astray.
Now for amends. Ken owes his Fraternity a large sum of money. I think it is up to Beth to repay that debt, even if it is done anonymously.
Beth also owes it to Aaron to tell him that she used to be Ken. That's a little too big of a secret for her to keep. She also owes it to Beth's family and her old family - maybe. Would it matter to them? She will have to decide.

Author's Response: In the first couple of chapters that I wrote-which seems like a century ago lol-I dealt with this issue. When Ken became Beth, Ken was wiped from existence. This that if Ken never existed, then he never stole the money, So the fraternity never lost the money, so there is no debt to repay. My thought at the time was something "It's a wonderful life"-If Ken had never existed how would other people's lives had been changed. I will touch on this theme in an upcoming chapter. What fratrnity were you in? I really was a Chi Omega

Reviewer: Elron Signed starstarstarstar Report
Date: 09/30/19 03:51 pm Title: Chapter 28 Return To Tallahassee

"But I need to know that you are with me, that I have your support when there is a conflict between your mom and I”
I understand where you are going with this, Aaron is leaving his family to make Beth the priority. But you set it up as an ultimatum that is impossible to meet. Beth won't always be right, and Aaron will be forced into the middle of an unwinnable situation no matter what he does. Been there many times. Aaron can't sacrifice his conscience or his principles just to take the right side. It's one thing when you're talking about raising kids, Beth and Aaron have the final say. But if they disagree and Aaron's position matches his mom's, he is accused of taking sides.
All I'm saying is that all 3 need to act like adults. Mom needs to back off and accept that Beth is the one for Aaron and she will not be.
Beth needs to realize that Aaron is not taking mom's side just because he disagrees with Beth.
Problems should be solved, not allowed to fester by taking sides. I hope everyone realizes how their roles will change, and how they shouldn't.

Author's Response: Thank you for your comments. Where I was going is that Aaron is afraid of him mom, because Martha Dye is a very dominating woman. My goal is that Beth encourages Aaron to place her (Beth) first while still respecting, loving, and honoring his mom.

Reviewer: Elron Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 09/30/19 03:37 pm Title: Chapter 27 The Next Day

Aaron's mom is evil if she is even contemplating sabotaging their relationship.

Author's Response: sadly, I have known a few "Martha Dye" n my day.

Reviewer: Elron Signed starstarstarstar Report
Date: 09/30/19 03:35 pm Title: Chapter 24 Sisters and Friends

The rhythm method has been shown to be so terribly ineffective, they might as well be trying to get pregnant. The church, last I heard, condoned other forms of birth control, and I don't see why Beth thinks they are demeaning to women. As long as they are both open about it and in agreement how could it be demeaning? If the goal is to prevent pregnancy, then they should be using the most effective method possible (and I don't mean abstinence).

Author's Response: Yes you are correct, and this will be a plot point in future chapters. BTW that article really was in the Wall Street Journal :)

Reviewer: Elron Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 09/30/19 03:28 pm Title: Chapter 23 Spring Break Road Trip

I thought that what Aaron and Beth did at the festival was very clever, though it took a while for me to figure out what they did. Great idea for the story.

Author's Response: Thank you!. I thought it would be an interesting twist.

Reviewer: Amanda Lynn Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 09/22/19 11:06 pm Title: Chapter 27 The Next Day

Martha will lose if she tries to break them up.

Author's Response: She will. Thank you for reading and for your review. Unfortunately I have know a few Marthas

Reviewer: Amanda Lynn Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 09/12/19 02:46 pm Title: Chapter 1 . Trouble in the fraternity house

Sure, just leave us with a cliff hanger like that!

Author's Response: Thank you for reading, I hope you are still reading. Has the cliff hanger been resolved for you?

Reviewer: Griffin Signed Report
Date: 09/11/19 07:42 am Title: Chapter 22 (Re)Meet The Parents

Actually,this is pretty accurate for too many people.

It may not be much for fantasy but this is what a young lady may face regardless of her background or beliefs.

If someone just wants fantasy escapism this is really not that kind of story.

I know that many people read fantasy to escape but some people read simple fiction to sort their thoughts and face decisions.

This story is more in the latter category although it does include the supernatural aspects of Angels&Miracles and Divine Justice...
and Mercy.

Back on the more mundane side,
even though Beth is unquestionably female now as far as everyone else is concerned she still faces rejection,ridicule and derision as well as the many crises of Love...

I think it’s good for us to remember that even if we could have what we wanted it would change or reduce our problems and pains but it would not eliminate all of them.

People who are electing to pursue serious life changes need to be reasonable about their hopes and expectations.

If we yearn for the impossible we will probably be pretty painfully disappointed...

It is better to have a few real Friends than a bunch of fake ones.

Author's Response: Thank you for reading. I am working on another story where the character, wanted the switch but discovers things are not all rosy and has some unexpected problems.

Reviewer: Griffin Signed Report
Date: 09/11/19 07:25 am Title: Chapter 1 . Trouble in the fraternity house

There are very few stories on here that have this focus-
Yet there are many that have some pretty dark themes.

No one complains about those.

You can put up a disclaimer if that makes some people feel better.

Obviously,there are people that have been hurt by “religious” people and are still hurt about it.

Yet,does that make it ok to hate,condemn or attack those who HAVEN’T hurt anyone?

Didn’t you start writing this for your sibling who is TG?

I know which direction they are going in but what counts is that it is your family and you
aren’t trying to change people here you are expressing your heart and the struggles your character
is going through in the story.

If we on this forum are all supposed to be in favour of tolerance are we only going to be in support of certain forms of tolerance?

If so,we’re just kidding ourselves.

Anyway,I have read much of what’s on this site and while there are NUMEROUS stories involving
demons,very black magic,suicide,murder,malicious identity theft,etc.,
out of several thousand stories
there are less than 10 that I know of that contain angels and/or miracles.

Your story is so uncommon that I would think that room should be made for it without fear of starting a trend...

I’ll be happy if you just make it to completion-
that’s almost as rare.

So many stories here never get finished.

If you may simply write and share what is on your heart without condemnation,
who’s to say who may be helped or encouraged in their grief and despair...
and how else can your writing be expected to improve?

Besides,
no one HAS to read your work.

Anyway,
I just wanted to encourage you to express yourself-
It’s not like anything you said was hostile towards anyone.

Your character is struggling with issues of conscience-
anyone who has a conscience should understand that even if they disagree with the conclusions
of our heroine...

Just express thyself-
you’ll never satisfy everyone anyway!

Reviewer: Amanda Lynn Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 09/11/19 05:16 am Title: Chapter 22 (Re)Meet The Parents

The relationship will survive, if Aaron has a pair.
Little boys have to grow up some day and become big boys, but to do that they must untie their mothers apron strings.

Author's Response: The direction I am wnating to go is that Aaron will stand up to his dominating mother, placing his wife first while still loving and respecting his mom. Thank you for reading and for your comments

Reviewer: Elron Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 09/04/18 09:38 pm Title: Chapter 15 Ken's Family

Call me an old fashioned hopeless romantic, but Ron has been there for Beth for years and has asked nothing in return. Contrast that with Beth's quick infatuation with Aaron. Yes, there is a such thing as love at first sight, but most of the time it is really lust, not love.
I think relationships are marathons, not sprints, and Beth should be thinking more about the bigger picture than the puppy love she is going through with Aaron.
Yeah I've been in Ron's place when I was younger so my opinion might be biased, but it is also tinged with a bit of wisdom.
As for the story, I'm so glad you decided to continue. Maybe I wasn't the only one who asked about Beth's two unused visits from Thomas?
I also love your writing, a few typos, but the story is solid. You have detail, conflict (a whopper!) and suspense. The hat trick of great writing. Thank you.

Author's Response: I will admit that I struggled with this one. I actually wrote a version where she stayed with Ron. But I ended going with Aaron for the Fraternity connection, and so that she would have opportunities to visit her old frat house.

Reviewer: Roadbandit Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 09/03/18 01:28 am Title: Chapter 15 Ken's Family

I leaning towards Aaron too,but she maybe should find someone for Ron

Author's Response: Thank you for reading. I am glad I found someone for Ron

Reviewer: Amanda Lynn Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 09/02/18 01:44 pm Title: Chapter 1 . Trouble in the fraternity house

I do like Ron, he's been there for her through thick and thin, I kinda understand him. I do not, however, think Beth loves him that way. She loves him, but the same way she loves Leigh. She loves Aaron intimately. If she gets with Ron her life will be boring and she will never really be happy.

Reviewer: Griffin Signed Report
Date: 09/02/18 07:24 am Title: Chapter 15 Ken's Family

Who she ends with up is not as important as
How she ends up.

There is only one Who that Ultimately matters,
Right?

Author's Response: You are right indeed. ANd thank you fro reading

Reviewer: Amanda Lynn Signed Report
Date: 08/14/18 09:43 pm Title: Chapter 1 . Trouble in the fraternity house

I liked the story, I do agree that it felt like a car crash at the end with the sudden ending, but, at least you brought it to an ending.

Reviewer: Roadbandit Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 08/12/18 10:54 am Title: Chapter 9 Beth confronts Brad

Very cute! I’m enjoying the read.

Reviewer: Amanda Lynn Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 08/10/18 10:09 pm Title: Chapter 1 . Trouble in the fraternity house

I really like this promise, it sounds like you could make a whole Thomas series here.
I cannot wait till you write more.

Reviewer: Lilchelly Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 08/10/18 10:05 pm Title: Chapter 1 . Trouble in the fraternity house

It's not "men who begin hrt" it's women who begin hrt. Trans women are women, Trans girls are girls. Trans women are REAL women, trans girls are REAL girls. ALso fyi HRT doesn't always change your sexuality, if it did there would be no such thing as Trans lesbians, or trans gay men and yet there are plenty of them. Or Trans queers of any type. That was to another poster, not you.

Now for the story... why is the angel not letting Ken make the changes necessary to save Beth? Is this "angel" really a devil in disguise who just likes torturing poor Beth? I don't know how I feel about this, Brad is an abusive dick, he needs to disappear from Beth's life.

Reviewer: Roadbandit Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 08/10/18 10:24 am Title: Chapter 7 Beth's Family

Ok ,I wonder why?

Reviewer: AlexaTiresias Signed starstarstarstar Report
Date: 08/10/18 04:46 am Title: Chapter 7 Beth's Family

At last, the story continues; yay!

Author's Response: Thank you for reading, i hope you are still reading. I started this story what seems like a lifetime ago. When I first began writing, I was pregnant with #1, and now I am pregnant with number 3!

Reviewer: Terrigen Signed starstar Report
Date: 08/10/18 02:59 am Title: Chapter 1 . Trouble in the fraternity house

This story doesn’t make sense. Beth is a girl that was going to get killed. So to save Beth, they put Ken into her body, so that she won’t do the same actions that would get Beth killed.

Yet, they replaced Beth with Ken, essentially killing Beth anyway. So what is the motive? To save Beth? They killed Beth by replacing her with Ken. So if Beth died anyway, why bother trying to save her? If it is only to redeem Ken, then a better direction would be to change him into someone that had previously never existed.

That is a plot hole that is hard to ignore, to continue reading the story.

Reviewer: Griffin Signed Report
Date: 12/29/17 12:45 am Title: Chapter 1 . Trouble in the fraternity house

I do appreciate your take on Beth's life&heart.

Too many tales on this site just reinforce false perceptions of what it means to be a woman from a man's perspective.

I believe that most men would feel much differently about sex AND women
(Yes,the two are not synonymous...)
if they were a woman for awhile.

Most men who begin HRT will testify that the inability to have sex is not the only thing that changes regarding sexuality-
the thoughts,emotions and feelings change as well and while they do overlap they are not inextricably connected,
either.

I do hope that people also realize that not all people are in bondage to religion through guilt&fear-
there are many people that have a tender conscience that simply feel very strongly about right&wrong.

Eventually,
that will put you into unwanted conflicts with others and you just have to stand your ground.

Of course,
some just don't want to feel defiled-
even though others may mock their beliefs,
many faithful souls refuse to reciprocate such vitriolic assaults.

In such cases,
who is really playing the hypocrite?

At any rate,
I always appreciate anyone trying to portray a realistic perspective of what goes on in a woman's heart,
not just her body.

If I understand your recent experiences with childbirth,
it would seem that you DO know what you are talking about!

😊

In some of the most important parts of being human,
there are no real experts...

Just experience.

Thanks for posting!
🌈💫

Reviewer: Roadbandit Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 12/28/17 10:03 am Title: Chapter 6 Brad

Interesting first six chapters,I enjoyed the read,looking forward to reading more.

Reviewer: JellyFishx Signed starstarstar Report
Date: 11/13/17 04:05 am Title: Chapter 4 Getting To Know "Beth"

The chapters are bit short I think. Maybe try to extend them for new ones more.

Author's Response: Thank you for reading, I hope you are still reading. I started this story years ago when I was pregnant with my first child. I am not pregnant with my third child! Some of the later chapters I have made longer, in fact I sometimes wonder if I made them too long.

Reviewer: Griffin Signed Report
Date: 11/12/17 11:28 pm Title: Chapter 1 . Trouble in the fraternity house

It is interesting how you are telling the tale-
it's almost like a bedtime story.

I hope that doesn't bother you.

I do appreciate the fact that you are presenting this in a different light than most of the material on this site.

Mostly,
the "changees" immediately just start having as much sex as possible...

It is nice to see someone actually trying to make the most of their new life instead of just
another Fantasy Island" sortuv wannabe.

There is some proofreading corrections I could make but I don't want come across as overly critical.

Good ending on this chapter!
😇

Reviewer: Griffin Signed Report
Date: 11/05/17 06:14 pm Title: Chapter 1 . Trouble in the fraternity house

Hi!

It does seem that your writing in the new chapters is improving.

Keep asking questions and show the thoughts of your characters-
it makes them come alive.

You don't have to explain everything unless you want to-
only what's important.

Try to imagine you're just listening in to the characters and their thoughts&conversations.

That will make them sound more spontaneous&alive.

That is the challenge for a writer-
to bring their characters and stories to life.

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