You must login (register) to review.
Reviewer: Amanda Lynn Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 09/12/19 02:46 pm Title: Chapter 1 . Trouble in the fraternity house

Sure, just leave us with a cliff hanger like that!

Reviewer: Griffin Signed Report
Date: 09/11/19 07:42 am Title: Chapter 22 (Re)Meet The Parents

Actually,this is pretty accurate for too many people.

It may not be much for fantasy but this is what a young lady may face regardless of her background or beliefs.

If someone just wants fantasy escapism this is really not that kind of story.

I know that many people read fantasy to escape but some people read simple fiction to sort their thoughts and face decisions.

This story is more in the latter category although it does include the supernatural aspects of Angels&Miracles and Divine Justice...
and Mercy.

Back on the more mundane side,
even though Beth is unquestionably female now as far as everyone else is concerned she still faces rejection,ridicule and derision as well as the many crises of Love...

I think it’s good for us to remember that even if we could have what we wanted it would change or reduce our problems and pains but it would not eliminate all of them.

People who are electing to pursue serious life changes need to be reasonable about their hopes and expectations.

If we yearn for the impossible we will probably be pretty painfully disappointed...

It is better to have a few real Friends than a bunch of fake ones.

Reviewer: Griffin Signed Report
Date: 09/11/19 07:25 am Title: Chapter 1 . Trouble in the fraternity house

There are very few stories on here that have this focus-
Yet there are many that have some pretty dark themes.

No one complains about those.

You can put up a disclaimer if that makes some people feel better.

Obviously,there are people that have been hurt by “religious” people and are still hurt about it.

Yet,does that make it ok to hate,condemn or attack those who HAVEN’T hurt anyone?

Didn’t you start writing this for your sibling who is TG?

I know which direction they are going in but what counts is that it is your family and you
aren’t trying to change people here you are expressing your heart and the struggles your character
is going through in the story.

If we on this forum are all supposed to be in favour of tolerance are we only going to be in support of certain forms of tolerance?

If so,we’re just kidding ourselves.

Anyway,I have read much of what’s on this site and while there are NUMEROUS stories involving
demons,very black magic,suicide,murder,malicious identity theft,etc.,
out of several thousand stories
there are less than 10 that I know of that contain angels and/or miracles.

Your story is so uncommon that I would think that room should be made for it without fear of starting a trend...

I’ll be happy if you just make it to completion-
that’s almost as rare.

So many stories here never get finished.

If you may simply write and share what is on your heart without condemnation,
who’s to say who may be helped or encouraged in their grief and despair...
and how else can your writing be expected to improve?

Besides,
no one HAS to read your work.

Anyway,
I just wanted to encourage you to express yourself-
It’s not like anything you said was hostile towards anyone.

Your character is struggling with issues of conscience-
anyone who has a conscience should understand that even if they disagree with the conclusions
of our heroine...

Just express thyself-
you’ll never satisfy everyone anyway!

Reviewer: Amanda Lynn Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 09/11/19 05:16 am Title: Chapter 22 (Re)Meet The Parents

The relationship will survive, if Aaron has a pair.
Little boys have to grow up some day and become big boys, but to do that they must untie their mothers apron strings.

Reviewer: Elron Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 09/04/18 09:38 pm Title: Chapter 15 Ken's Family

Call me an old fashioned hopeless romantic, but Ron has been there for Beth for years and has asked nothing in return. Contrast that with Beth's quick infatuation with Aaron. Yes, there is a such thing as love at first sight, but most of the time it is really lust, not love.
I think relationships are marathons, not sprints, and Beth should be thinking more about the bigger picture than the puppy love she is going through with Aaron.
Yeah I've been in Ron's place when I was younger so my opinion might be biased, but it is also tinged with a bit of wisdom.
As for the story, I'm so glad you decided to continue. Maybe I wasn't the only one who asked about Beth's two unused visits from Thomas?
I also love your writing, a few typos, but the story is solid. You have detail, conflict (a whopper!) and suspense. The hat trick of great writing. Thank you.

Reviewer: Roadbandit Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 09/03/18 01:28 am Title: Chapter 15 Ken's Family

I leaning towards Aaron too,but she maybe should find someone for Ron

Reviewer: Amanda Lynn Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 09/02/18 01:44 pm Title: Chapter 1 . Trouble in the fraternity house

I do like Ron, he's been there for her through thick and thin, I kinda understand him. I do not, however, think Beth loves him that way. She loves him, but the same way she loves Leigh. She loves Aaron intimately. If she gets with Ron her life will be boring and she will never really be happy.

Reviewer: Griffin Signed Report
Date: 09/02/18 07:24 am Title: Chapter 15 Ken's Family

Who she ends with up is not as important as
How she ends up.

There is only one Who that Ultimately matters,
Right?

Reviewer: Amanda Lynn Signed Report
Date: 08/14/18 09:43 pm Title: Chapter 1 . Trouble in the fraternity house

I liked the story, I do agree that it felt like a car crash at the end with the sudden ending, but, at least you brought it to an ending.

Reviewer: Roadbandit Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 08/12/18 10:54 am Title: Chapter 9 Beth confronts Brad

Very cute! I’m enjoying the read.

Reviewer: Amanda Lynn Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 08/10/18 10:09 pm Title: Chapter 1 . Trouble in the fraternity house

I really like this promise, it sounds like you could make a whole Thomas series here.
I cannot wait till you write more.

Reviewer: Lilchelly Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 08/10/18 10:05 pm Title: Chapter 1 . Trouble in the fraternity house

It's not "men who begin hrt" it's women who begin hrt. Trans women are women, Trans girls are girls. Trans women are REAL women, trans girls are REAL girls. ALso fyi HRT doesn't always change your sexuality, if it did there would be no such thing as Trans lesbians, or trans gay men and yet there are plenty of them. Or Trans queers of any type. That was to another poster, not you.

Now for the story... why is the angel not letting Ken make the changes necessary to save Beth? Is this "angel" really a devil in disguise who just likes torturing poor Beth? I don't know how I feel about this, Brad is an abusive dick, he needs to disappear from Beth's life.

Reviewer: Roadbandit Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 08/10/18 10:24 am Title: Chapter 7 Beth's Family

Ok ,I wonder why?

Reviewer: AlexaTiresias Signed starstarstarstar Report
Date: 08/10/18 04:46 am Title: Chapter 7 Beth's Family

At last, the story continues; yay!

Reviewer: Terrigen Signed starstar Report
Date: 08/10/18 02:59 am Title: Chapter 1 . Trouble in the fraternity house

This story doesn’t make sense. Beth is a girl that was going to get killed. So to save Beth, they put Ken into her body, so that she won’t do the same actions that would get Beth killed.

Yet, they replaced Beth with Ken, essentially killing Beth anyway. So what is the motive? To save Beth? They killed Beth by replacing her with Ken. So if Beth died anyway, why bother trying to save her? If it is only to redeem Ken, then a better direction would be to change him into someone that had previously never existed.

That is a plot hole that is hard to ignore, to continue reading the story.

Reviewer: Griffin Signed Report
Date: 12/29/17 12:45 am Title: Chapter 1 . Trouble in the fraternity house

I do appreciate your take on Beth's life&heart.

Too many tales on this site just reinforce false perceptions of what it means to be a woman from a man's perspective.

I believe that most men would feel much differently about sex AND women
(Yes,the two are not synonymous...)
if they were a woman for awhile.

Most men who begin HRT will testify that the inability to have sex is not the only thing that changes regarding sexuality-
the thoughts,emotions and feelings change as well and while they do overlap they are not inextricably connected,
either.

I do hope that people also realize that not all people are in bondage to religion through guilt&fear-
there are many people that have a tender conscience that simply feel very strongly about right&wrong.

Eventually,
that will put you into unwanted conflicts with others and you just have to stand your ground.

Of course,
some just don't want to feel defiled-
even though others may mock their beliefs,
many faithful souls refuse to reciprocate such vitriolic assaults.

In such cases,
who is really playing the hypocrite?

At any rate,
I always appreciate anyone trying to portray a realistic perspective of what goes on in a woman's heart,
not just her body.

If I understand your recent experiences with childbirth,
it would seem that you DO know what you are talking about!

😊

In some of the most important parts of being human,
there are no real experts...

Just experience.

Thanks for posting!
🌈💫

Reviewer: Roadbandit Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 12/28/17 10:03 am Title: Chapter 6 Brad

Interesting first six chapters,I enjoyed the read,looking forward to reading more.

Reviewer: JellyFishx Signed starstarstar Report
Date: 11/13/17 04:05 am Title: Chapter 4 Getting To Know "Beth"

The chapters are bit short I think. Maybe try to extend them for new ones more.

Reviewer: Griffin Signed Report
Date: 11/12/17 11:28 pm Title: Chapter 1 . Trouble in the fraternity house

It is interesting how you are telling the tale-
it's almost like a bedtime story.

I hope that doesn't bother you.

I do appreciate the fact that you are presenting this in a different light than most of the material on this site.

Mostly,
the "changees" immediately just start having as much sex as possible...

It is nice to see someone actually trying to make the most of their new life instead of just
another Fantasy Island" sortuv wannabe.

There is some proofreading corrections I could make but I don't want come across as overly critical.

Good ending on this chapter!
😇

Reviewer: Griffin Signed Report
Date: 11/05/17 06:14 pm Title: Chapter 1 . Trouble in the fraternity house

Hi!

It does seem that your writing in the new chapters is improving.

Keep asking questions and show the thoughts of your characters-
it makes them come alive.

You don't have to explain everything unless you want to-
only what's important.

Try to imagine you're just listening in to the characters and their thoughts&conversations.

That will make them sound more spontaneous&alive.

That is the challenge for a writer-
to bring their characters and stories to life.

You must login (register) to review.
TG Storytime uses the eFiction engine and Vanilla discussions. Design by J6P.