Date: 09/29/18 07:27 am Title: Chapter 3 - Welcome to Your New Life
Love it, so happy to see another chapter.
"For the first time in her life, Eileen signed her name. She loved the way it looked. The capital E, the loopy L, and she especially liked dotting the I. The pen moved with a subtle grace; the small feat made Eileen feel quite proud. Her handwriting was beautiful."
Ahhh, something in my eye.
Date: 01/04/18 04:05 am Title: Chapter 2 - Welcome to Your New Family
Love it, I didn't know you had another story in progress after Ellie's Education which remains one of my favorites. I guess great minds think alike on the identical twins theme? :P
I like the distinct personalities in the twins, and how their domination of him isn't rooted in hatred. They have their own reasons and are just trying to figure out where his place in the new family will be while maintaining and growing their own identities, and that he realizes that and is willing to offer olive branches.
Looking forward to more!
Date: 12/15/17 02:04 am Title: Chapter 1 - Welcome to Your New Home
Not bad, although you need some more dialogue in the beginning half---Perhaps the mother talking to the adoption agency about Alan---and fill in the background information from there---include HER thoughts, etc. Not just have a summary narrative---It should read like the second half, ---Different subject matter, of course.
Date: 09/19/17 07:20 am Title: Chapter 1 - Welcome to Your New Home
That was adorably creepy. Or creepily adorable, I'm not sure. You've got several well-developed characters here, and I look forward to seeing what they do next.
I'm not sure how plausible it is that a mother as neglectful as Nora would be allowed to adopt a child, though. Maybe the adoption agency was so glad to have someone willing to adopt a thirteen-year-old that they didn't investigate too closely.
Author's Response: I'll admit, it makes zero sense for a working, single mother with financial problems to be eligible for adoption. Let's just consider it a creative liberty to get the story rolling.