Date: 10/01/17 09:56 am Title: Chapter 5: Vaginaville, Day 2
This is truly great. The theme of casual dating while in the midst of an unwelcome transformation is a gold mine just waiting to be tapped. And this story taps it with humorous precision.
Author's Response: Thank you so much! It really means a lot. I've got more in store so I definitely hope you keep reading!!!
Date: 10/01/17 01:11 am Title: Chapter 5: Vaginaville, Day 2
I love how sure he is of himself. I hope whatever magick this is that did this to him lets him remain at least himself. IEven if he becomes a girl in mind let her be as funny and confident as he is please! Of course it's your story and I would NEVER want you to change it from it's intended destination. I'm just a humble fan that is along for the ride.
Author's Response: Haha, thanks for the kind words. I'll be honest with you, this isn't one of those bimbo-fication stories. I don't think you have anything to worry about...
Date: 09/25/17 02:55 pm Title: Chapter 4: Feeling Like Christopher Columbus
Pretty good so far. Nice suspense about when other changes will follow, about how long he can keep his partial transformation secret and about whether he'll change his mind about allowing dick near his vagina. Interesting use of a trans-friendly character; it could allow for all sorts of exploration of gender and so on.
Date: 09/24/17 01:50 am Title: Chapter 4: Feeling Like Christopher Columbus
I'm really enjoying this, different from other stories and not very predictable as in guessing when further changes might happen etc. Plus your sense of humour and the way the character thinks is so similar to me in real life :)
Author's Response: Thank you so much for the kind words! It's taking me on a ride as well haha!
Date: 09/17/17 10:43 pm Title: Chapter 3: A Date With Destiny
oooh, the blind date seems to be going well. I hope it keeps going well, I mean I know SOME conflict besides the obvious needs to happen in stories. But i hope she doens't end up being a jerk... then again she is a memer and most memers are VERY transphobic so if it goes too far she might find out about his biological transformation.
Date: 09/16/17 09:13 pm Title: Chapter 2: A Harrowing Phone Call
How could he go to the doctor and claim he was trans*?
Spontaneous vaginoplasties just don't happen.
Author's Response: He would say he was a pre-op trans man, as in he had transitioned to male via hormone therapy but hadn't received SRS to change his v***** to a p****.
Date: 09/16/17 09:10 pm Title: Chapter 1: An Unexpected Visitor from the Land of Rainbows and Unicorns
Some grammatical issues. Usually numbers lower than twelve are in text form rather than number form. '5' is 'five', '34' is ''34'.
The main character also assumes a bit too much about the reader, I'm thinking about the wake up scene. Not everyone can relate to sleeping twelve hours in a row and waking up at noon.
Author's Response: Whoops, I learned that the rule was one to ten get spelt, anything 11 and up is represented as numbers. And the story is from the perspective of a teenager, and I don't think it assumes too much for readers to know that teenagers like sleeping late whenever they can. And, they might not be able to relate sleeping 12 hours and waking up at noon, but I think everyone can relate to the groggy feeling of waking up and mindlessly stumbling to the bathroom! Thanks for the feedback!
Date: 09/16/17 02:21 pm Title: Chapter 2: A Harrowing Phone Call
This is pretty interesting, I LOVE that he mentioned trans men in a positive light so it seems our character is not a complete jerk or anything. I wonder what happened, how it happened, and what's going to happen to him?
What'd be awesome is if his blind date is a trans girl, she'd never tell his secret if they got intimate, because she'd understand. I know it probably wont happen but he mentioned trans boys positively maybe a trans girl he'll also accept!
Author's Response: Hmmm, I hadn't actually thought of that! Wasn't the direction I was planning to take it, but I would love to incorporate more trans-friendly elements if it fits the story. I consider myself an ally and I wanted that to come across in my protagonist!
Date: 09/15/17 07:14 pm Title: Chapter 2: A Harrowing Phone Call
Interesting beginning. I just believe that the f bomb is used a bit too much, but maybe not based on the way young people seem to talk these days. No rating just yet.I want to see where this goes and how you get there.
Author's Response: Thanks for the feedback! I guess my usage of the f-word may be a bit heavy-handed, but I wanted the character to be an accurate male teenager. I drew from my own experiences. I think it makes sense for Brian to use such language in his own head when he's so frustrated and confused. Also, I know from plenty of experience the kind of vulgar language guys use with their friends. I think if its appropriate to the situation and the emotion behind it, it can be a very powerful and effective word.
Date: 09/09/17 05:31 pm Title: Chapter 1: An Unexpected Visitor from the Land of Rainbows and Unicorns
Not much in the way of feedback, but I liked your intro. Funny and a hint of WTF. I'm curious to see where this heads now that your main character is lacking one between his legs.
Date: 09/09/17 08:40 am Title: Chapter 1: An Unexpected Visitor from the Land of Rainbows and Unicorns
It's pretty good for a start. I liked how short it was, helped it be more to the point. You could have maybe gone into more detail about the setting, but that's optional. Would have to read more chapters to get a good feel on where it's going to give feedback on the plot..