Date: 11/07/18 10:15 am Title: Chapter 13: You too
One day and they're already over it? Wow, that town must be pretty wild to make that mundane.
Author's Response: Haha fair enough. Are you talking about how the town responded, or how Nat herself responded to the events? If you're talking about how the town dealt with the incident, I suppose I didn't include too many details on that front...and that could be another entire story. If you're talking about how quickly Nat went back to living across the street, that was based on my own experiences. There can be a terrible mundaneness about these sorts of incidents, in our day and age. How would you have portrayed it differently? I'm all ears, and I'm more than willing to make post-final edits on my stories. I'd love to hear what you think!
Date: 09/05/18 01:47 am Title: Chapter 37: Epilogue
It's indeed one of the saddest, and possibly my second most liked story from you, the struggle feels so real but, i do wonder with every single story there's a certain thing every main character has, which i feel has to do either with habit or something you do yourself hehe. An example, a nose twitch or wrinkling. Still great work ;3
Author's Response: Hah, yup! I like to try to give them each a unique little facial expression or personality quirk that plays out physically.
Date: 09/02/18 05:37 pm Title: Chapter 37: Epilogue
Phew after a while reading this from start to end, what can i say. Your stories are always a rollercoaster of emotions, i can see myself smiling and teary at times depending on the characters behavior, the feelings involved in your stories are always to clearly shown through all the chapters. The way you build a story is simply awesome, you can even feel yourself there at times, their fear, their happiness, their sadness, everything is there. As many others i wish there was more than 5 stars so i'll give you an extra one on my own hehe *
Also, no, i didn't knew about the story "For a girl" and i will read it, but for now my next one will be "Know all your enemies" and "Perfect Harmony". So, expect some reviews there soon
Author's Response: Aw, that's very sweet. I'll add another star to your review, mentally. Thank you for powering through the difficult times in this story, as I do believe that it's my saddest, and it's far from an easy read. *Hugs*
Date: 08/10/18 03:47 am Title: Chapter 1: Kristallnacht
Another expertly written story. When I read the description, I was a little worried, but given how much I loved Hush, I had to give it a shot. I was not disappointed. I loved the “found family” theme especially, and I can tell that you put a lot of research into social issues. It pays off, believe me!
Author's Response: Yay! I know it's a bit of a dark topic, but I'm really pleased with the final state of this story. I'm also so happy that you've enjoyed it, as the awesome feedback from people like you has encouraged me to write more and steered me in the right direction. :D
Date: 07/03/18 06:41 am Title: Chapter 1: Kristallnacht
A small note, in the beginning Emma had purple hair, but in chapter 19 her hair suddenly changes color to blue ...
Author's Response: Gah! Nice spot, thank you very much. Her hair was purple in the first draft, but I revised it as blue. Must have missed a spot :D Glad you liked the story!
Date: 05/15/18 02:29 pm Title: Chapter 1: Kristallnacht
Blitz was great. I liked that it was a bit darker (Although not all stories have to be) but not so dark where it made you want to quit reading. Emma was a great character, she really was what Nat needed to make her wake up. I like that you had Nat keep having racist thoughts and self doubt though the whole story it made the story a lot more realistic, people don't just change overnight. Honestly she got past it faster then I would have expected, but that was kinda explained with what she went through and the fact that she was never super invested in the Neo-Nazi cause to begin with..it was more a desire to live up to her dads expectations. Overall a great story 5/5.
Can't wait for your next story. Comparing this and Hush to your older stories: You have gotten quite a bit better. I enjoyed all your stories, but the newer ones rival some of the published books I've read.
Author's Response: It was originally much darker in my early outline, but I edited it in places to lighten its tone, just like I did for Hush. When writing Emma, I tried to view her as the 'audience-character'. She expressed the thoughts that were probably shared by the readers, and called Nat out on her BS, which was an absolute necessity. Great observation with Nat's desire to please her father, and I'm so flattered by your final note. Thanks for reading!
Date: 04/18/18 06:04 pm Title: Chapter 1: Kristallnacht
I finally decided to make an account, mainly so that I could tell how much I love your writing. You create so well-constructed characters and storylines I can't help but wonder. Take Blitz, for example, I didn't think I'd like it as much as Hush, with all the neo-Nazi stuff, but somehow, you turned it into one of my favorite stories. Following Nat along her journey has been a great pleasure.
Author's Response: That means so much to me! Thank you for the lovely, encouraging words. I post these stories because I hope that they brighten someones' day, out there in the big world. Glad to hear that they've brightened yours. :D
Date: 04/02/18 04:40 am Title: Chapter 37: Epilogue
I was not expecting to like this story. Neo Nazi stuff makes my gut roll. But what an amazing story! I was so worried the entire time, just waiting for something bad to happen!
Author's Response: Glad you enjoyed it! In hindsight, I probably should have put some disclaimer about this story being surprisingly cutesy. Thanks for reading and thank you for the feedback!!
Date: 03/30/18 09:46 pm Title: Chapter 37: Epilogue
Not too long not too short, nice complete ending and a great ride overal.
How you manage to come up with all these different themes is beyond me and was sceptical if i would like this one.
But i definitly did.
You always manage to make me emotional with your stories, looking forward to the next one!
Clarity is the best!
Author's Response: Yay! This feedback put a smile on my face. I know that the themes in this story are heavy and it's a bit difficult to dive in, but I'm so glad that you stuck with Nat for her little journey. *Hugs*
Date: 03/24/18 10:44 pm Title: Chapter 37: Epilogue
Great story, loved it! You really can make me sink deep down int the story even when I know it's late and I'm gonna have to wake up early tomorrow. Totally worth it. I really like how you build the character and its development. Hope to see more stories from you like this one and like Hush. Thanks!
Author's Response: Awesome! Glad to hear that this story destroyed your sleep schedule :D My next story is going to have a flawed main character with some serious development, as well. You'll like it!
Date: 03/17/18 12:11 pm Title: Chapter 37: Epilogue
Amazing story again clarity! It started off making me think I wouldn't enjoy such a story, but then it hooked me in and brought me on a wild emotional ride. I can't wait to see what you brew up next.
Author's Response: Yay! Thank you for the wonderful compliments, and I'm glad you enjoyed the ups and downs :D
Date: 03/15/18 04:58 am Title: Chapter 1: Kristallnacht
I absolutely loved this story. Great premise, original storyline and real characters.
Thankyou and Thank You for finishing. I will miss it.
Author's Response: Glad you like it! I promise that my next one will be just as enjoyable!
Date: 03/14/18 01:16 am Title: Chapter 37: Epilogue
Thank you for the story! I really enjoyed it. The only lasting question I had is about her birth-mother, because there were some moments early on that hinted at a possible redemption for her, but we never ended up seeing her again.
Author's Response: Glad you liked it! Regarding your question, my intention with the mother was to demonstrate that she was sort've a prisoner to the father's leadership, and that without Laura's intervention, Nat would have likely followed a similar path. Was Nat's mother a redeemable character? That was always a possibility, and I wish that I could have found some way to weave her back into the story, but I fear it would've been a fairly tragic character arc. Originally, my vision for the last scene of the story was to have Nat visiting a supermarket. Nat would grab some items for the trip to Chicago, and - while she was nearing the checkout line - she would see her birth mother. They'd make eye contact and then they would go separate ways, and there'd be some shame in the mother's eyes. I figured that such an ending would be a tad too nihilistic, so I backed off and made the ending more about Nat's concept of 'home', rather than her concept of 'family'.
Date: 03/13/18 07:51 pm Title: Chapter 37: Epilogue
While I'm a little disappointed Nat ended up leaving, I love the warm and gracious end to the story.
You write the best fairy tales.
Author's Response: I'm so glad that you liked the ending! Endings have generally been a weakness of mine, but I like to think that I'm improving in that department. In this story, I felt like the dark themes would make a purely fairytale ending a bit too out-of-place, so I tried to add some bittersweetness with Nat's departure, along with some heavy-handed closure via leaving her old town behind. *Hugs*
Date: 03/13/18 10:19 am Title: Chapter 37: Epilogue
I am happy to find that Natalie finally found her peace, that Josh would fully recover, and that as the author put a lot of heart into this work.
I am happy that as a reviewer In gave this story 5 stars and wish Icould have given at least a half star more, .I enjoyed it that much.
I am definitely going to need to look at your other work as described in the heading.
Good luck with your future endeavors.
Author's Response: Awesome! Glad you liked it! Five and a half stars! That made me smile. If you liked Blitz, you'll probably enjoy Hush. That's the most similar of my stories. You'll probably also enjoy my next story. It'll be quite a bit different, but there will be some similar themes.
Date: 03/13/18 09:45 am Title: Chapter 37: Epilogue
Awwww. Such a good ending! Thanks for taking the time to write such an emtional and adventurous story! I'm happy to have taken the risk and started reading your story!
Author's Response: Yay! I, too, am glad that you took that risk. I promise that my next story will not cover such a dark, infuriating topic
Date: 03/13/18 07:16 am Title: Chapter 1: Kristallnacht
Oh man oh man! Clarity your stories are interesting! I've read all your work starting from the lewd ones and then found your wholesome ones truly tug at my heartstrings, before, my favorite so far was "Hush" but now you've outdone yourself once again~ I love precious little Natalie! You managed to make her vulnerabilities and complexities interesting.
Also i read what you said about how you started with the lewd once and seem to came to a realization that sometimes, it gets in the way of the character, i think i can agree to that, as a reader, sometimes there's this expectation of this escapedes happening in the story, without it, i feel like the character are more fleshed out this way.
Author's Response: Oh wow! I'm so flattered! I poured my heart and soul into Hush, and my goal with Blitz was to build a story that preserved some of my more comfortable elements from Hush, while following a drastically different main character and diving into some darker themes. My main fear here was that the cuteness would be too stark of a contrast against the dark moments, but I ended up deciding to juxtapose the two tones, since I figured that a purely dark story wouldn't be as fun of a read, and a pure cutesy story wouldn't do this topic any justice. Thanks for reading, and I'm so happy that you enjoyed it!
Date: 03/13/18 06:35 am Title: Chapter 37: Epilogue
It's been a wonderful and exciting journey, Clarity! Thanks so much for taking us all along with you on it! I'm going to miss Nat and her squeaking, and I'm looking forward to whatever you write next! I haven't said it in a while; I love your writing style so much! I always get excited when I see the email notification that a new chapter is out, or that you've responded to my review!
And speaking of, I will need to start proofreading these reviews before I post them, because apparently I don't know the difference between through and threw lol.
Anyways, excellent chapter as always! I'm filled with a sweet sorrow when a story ends, especially one of yours. Keep up the great work in the future!
Author's Response: Thanks, Lanz! I love your input and I can't tell you how many times your feedback has helped my stories become more immersive. I know that awkward wording or spelling/grammatical errors can through a wrench into readers' flow, so I thank you for sticking with my stories through thick and thin. Squeak squeak :D *Hugs*
Date: 03/13/18 03:46 am Title: Chapter 37: Epilogue
You never mentioned; what happened to Mr. Barnes Bella? Otherwise fantastic as usual Clarity. I look forward to reading more of your stories.
Author's Response: I added a tiny note, thanks to your comment, but I suppose they'll have each other...and now that Barnes has really acknowledged the loss of his wife, he may be able to move on to new experiences.
Date: 03/13/18 03:03 am Title: Chapter 1: Kristallnacht
I've greatly enjoyed reading all of your stories, but I positively loved Blitz. It really showcased your skill in writing well-rounded, interesting characters, and in building tension, always leaving me hungry for the next update. I'm sad to see it over, but the last chapter and the epilogue were a lovely send-off to it, and it was nice to see that little bit of extra closure for Nat right at the end. I'll probably re-read it before too long now that it's complete, but since you started publishing Blitz, each chapter update has been a highlight of my day. Thank you for sharing your wonderful stories; I eagerly await your next work. :)
Author's Response: Thanks, Robyn! I'm really glad that you find my characters to be interesting. It's a bit of a challenge to write characters who have glaring flaws while still making them worthy of sympathy/empathy. I feel like it's quite tempting to write main characters who are the human embodiment of virtues and ideals, but those characters usually don't seem as real (to me, at least). I'm so pleased that you're considering a re-read of this story! I often worry that my stories are too slowly paced or too boring for re-reads, so that means a lot to me. *Hugs* Thanks for reading!
Date: 03/13/18 01:36 am Title: Chapter 37: Epilogue
In the beginning I didn't like Nat because of her racism. But as the story progressed you made me change my opinion about her. Besides Hush, this is your best story yet. When can we expect your next story? ;)
Author's Response: Glad you liked it! It is similar to Hush in some ways, and uses some of the same plot devices, but Nat definitely goes through a more drastic personality journey. Next story...I don't know yet, sadly. I'm stressing over what to write next :D
Date: 03/13/18 01:02 am Title: Chapter 37: Epilogue
I waited for the Epilogue for my final comment.
It is a lovly story, Natalie is a really cute character and so are her mom and Josh (well more like handsome) As I said before, the tattoo transformed by Nat's own design is the best posssible symbol for her emancipation. Well done, Clarity, really well done.
Author's Response: Yay! Thanks for your encouraging words. You're awesome! *Hugs*
Date: 03/13/18 12:39 am Title: Chapter 37: Epilogue
This has been one wild ride, thank you so much Miss Clarity, it's been so emotional but it's been a good kind of emotional. I feel like your writing has impacted me in more ways than you know, but thank you so much!
Author's Response: Aw *hugs* your perspective always makes me happy
Date: 03/09/18 08:49 pm Title: Chapter 1: Kristallnacht
It's so hard to see this story end, but as I was reading the last chapter I couldn't help but think about what a perfect place to end it. I absolutely loved this story and will be sure to read it again.
It was a great premise and characters.
I love the no graphic sex as I like the mental aspect of gender change, it helps me cope with my feelings. I don't really care much for kink so this is the kind of story I love.
Thanks for writing it and thanks for finishing it, even though im gonna miss Nat.
Author's Response: Aw, glad to hear that this story resonated with you! When I first started writing stories on this site, mine were sexier in nature, but I've found that graphic accounts of sex can clash with a story's tone. Also, if I was new to this site and I scrolled through the stories on the front page, I might get the wrong idea about this site. There's nothing specifically wrong about sex-driven stories, but I do believe that there's currently an overabundance of them. I don't know what my next story is going to be about, but I can promise that it'll be fairly wholesome. Thanks for reading!
Date: 03/09/18 07:34 pm Title: Chapter 36: Eat, Paint, Love
Oh Wow.. Thanks so much Clarity..it has been a rollercoaster.. and a real one too not at all easy to follow but wow has it been worth it. I really love all of your heroines.. but Nat was hard to get to know..hard but was she worth it? Oh yes..to come from such a bad place and be so good? Thank you so much for this story.
Author's Response: Yay! That makes so happy to hear! Regarding Nat, I know that it's difficult to understand how she could be so kind when she's been raised by hateful people. Fortunately for her, she was always an open-minded person, and had some lingering doubts about her parents' ideology, before the story's plot really takes off. I tried to portray this in the opening scene - robbing the store wasn't easy for her. At that time, she was still internally good, but her good was smothered by ideology and expectations, which forced her into some bad actions. As the story progresses, and she becomes reassured by Laura, Nat starts to make decisions based on her own moral compass, rather than the expectation of others. It begins with her wearing nail polish, and kind've escalates from there. Glad you liked the story so much! Thanks, Lucy!
Date: 03/09/18 07:25 pm Title: Chapter 36: Eat, Paint, Love
This was so beautiful and wow the nice touch with her hearing his wife's ghost makes you think she really was there guiding him. Natalie's journey has been so fun and so healing for me so thank you for it. Growing up in a cult myself I have A LOT of crap I need to work through and heal from so any bit is like a tiny drink of an elixir. So thank you deeply for this story, you are so very special Miss Clarity. Thank you
Author's Response: Thanks, Lil! I was hoping that the whole possible-ghost part wouldn't seem too mystical or out-of-place in an otherwise realistic story. It's mostly supposed to be within Nat's head, and displays how she's harnessed her aloofness to better understand other people. Glad you liked that bit, and I'm happy to see that you have such a connection to this tale. Love ya!
Date: 03/09/18 09:03 am Title: Chapter 36: Eat, Paint, Love
Great chapter! Fun and thoughtful...
I feel like you wrote "two" instead of "three" options intentionally in the paint scene, and I've been having an internal debate as to which it should be.
In any case, I love your writing as usual, I'm looking forward to the epilogue, and whatever you decide to write next! It's been a wonderful time following Nat on this journey.
Author's Response: I understand the confusion, so I reworded that bit :D Thanks, Lanz
Date: 03/09/18 08:09 am Title: Chapter 36: Eat, Paint, Love
Dang. I can't actually belive the story's ending. I was apprehensive to read it in the beginning, but Im quite happy I decided to jump down the rabbit hole. You managed to make a dangerous world come alive with love and family. Great job.
Author's Response: Yay! Glad that you stuck with it. I know it's a fairly dark topic on face value, but I tried to give it a loving, cutesy side as well - to balance things out.
Date: 03/09/18 05:21 am Title: Chapter 36: Eat, Paint, Love
As with all your stories, I will be sad to see this one end. When can we expect your next story?
Author's Response: Hmm, good question. I haven't begun writing my next story and I don't even know what it'll be about...so it'll probably be quite some time until I begin posting my next story.
Date: 03/09/18 02:30 am Title: Chapter 36: Eat, Paint, Love
What?!!!!!! Nooooooooo.... You always leave me wanting more adorableness. Why must you be so mean to me? x.x
Great chapter though. Super cute :3
Author's Response: Aw, sorry. Don't worry, there will be some more adorableness in the next chapter :)
Date: 03/02/18 09:07 pm Title: Chapter 35: Weary Hearts
OMG! After that emotional rollercoaster I'm still braced that your going to hit us with something else. A lone sniper from the brigade or something just ... wow. This story was a bit of a slow burn (which is not a bad thing) but then that scene with the brigade turned everything up to 11 and I'm still rushing from it. OMG! I'm so glad for this story of redemption!
Author's Response: Oo I'm glad that you enjoyed the pacing! I was worried that it was unraveling too slowly, or that I was waiting too long to introduce characters like Barnes. Thanks for the encouragement!
Date: 03/02/18 09:07 am Title: Chapter 35: Weary Hearts
I am sure Mr. Barnes will have no problem whatsoever with that.
Lovely chapter again, Clarity.
Author's Response: Yay, thanks! I think you may be correct about Mr. Barnes!
Date: 03/02/18 06:08 am Title: Chapter 35: Weary Hearts
The the only things better than happy endings are happy endings that haven't ended yet. your writing always manages to brighten my day
Author's Response: Aw, I'm glad that it made you happy! That's usually my goal when writing this stuff. The painful scenes and whatnot are just to make the happy stuff shine brighter. Love ya
Date: 02/27/18 06:48 pm Title: Chapter 33: Krieg
You sure like the dramatic showdown, don't you! This has a lot of similarities with a young queen on the parapets defending her love — but that doesn't make it wrong.
In a lot of ways, I really like Nat. More than Johanna, Nat is growing past trauma to become a more whole person, and I REALLY like that.
Thanks for sharing.
Author's Response: That's refreshing to hear! Thanks for the feedback. Next chapter is going to be a big one, in terms of Nat coming to really understand her new self. I think you'll enjoy it :)
Date: 02/26/18 07:29 pm Title: Chapter 34: The Waiting Game
Please, don't let this story end here. I personally would like to see the brigade get what the community would see fit for justice as well as what happens with Natalie and Josh.
This story has my attention. Please don't disappoint.
Author's Response: I promise that I will not end it there, and I sincerely hope that the rest of the story will not disappoint :D
Date: 02/26/18 07:28 am Title: Chapter 34: The Waiting Game
Nice chapter, Clarity, as usual. You always know how to fill a sad situation (that you've contrived, I might add) with heartwarming interactions between your charcters. I always wanna cry and smile at the same time..
In the fifth paragraph from the end, it says, "He was going to be survive", but I suspect you meant either "be alright" or "going to survive".
Keep up the great work as always!
Author's Response: Aw, I'm glad that you like the mixing of emotions and such. I've always found that even the saddest times in life aren't always exclusively sad. *Hugs*
Date: 02/26/18 06:38 am Title: Chapter 34: The Waiting Game
I hope he makes it so much! Please hug Natalie for me, and please hug Josh too! He doesn't deserve this! Please make it come on COME ON!!!! Even if he doesn't make it he still could use a hug so please
Author's Response: *Hugs Nat and Josh* That one was for you, Lil!
Date: 02/26/18 12:21 am Title: Chapter 34: The Waiting Game
So far, after all that has happened, it is still a wonderful story. Even it's dark sides only help to compliment it.
Author's Response: Awesome! Glad you're enjoying it. I tried not to make the story too dark, but I figured that Nat's situation needed some real struggles
Date: 02/24/18 12:57 am Title: Chapter 1: Kristallnacht
This chapter had me right in the edge of my seat from start to finish. Great pace and writing. This is quite some story.
Author's Response: Glad you liked it! This was definitely the most tense chapter in the story.
Date: 02/23/18 12:19 pm Title: Chapter 33: Krieg
Nice chapter Clarity! Very exciting and tense!
The only thing I saw this time was the phrase "I dropped to the ground and crawled my way up the roof." It might be better to say "dropped to my hands and knees" or something similar. For a second I thought Nat fell off the roof!
Also I'm very embarrassed I wrote "through" instead of "threw"... dont make fun of me too much..
Keep up the excellent work Clarity! You're the best!
Author's Response: Good feedback! Thanks, Lanz. That's one of those little misleading tidbits which can really confuse people (especially in such a quickly paced chapter) so I'm glad you caught it :D
Date: 02/22/18 02:57 pm Title: Chapter 33: Krieg
.....that person has to be a good shoot.....But the kitty army is on stand by to drink all your milk.....:) ......But on the point now.
Vary good didn't see that one coming. Hope the cops show up soon to save h in. But it sounds like he right on the Edge of life and death. Oh and you made the face list on my end.
Author's Response: nuuu not the face list! :D
Date: 02/22/18 10:04 am Title: Chapter 33: Krieg
Update night, yay!
I didn't plan on crying tonight, but that plan went out the window!
I hope Josh doesn't die, they're the perfect couple.
Poor Mr Barnes', it must of been so painful for him to go into that room to save Nats' life. I wonder if he regrets it.
Author's Response: Yay! It's good to cry, every now and again :D Also, glad you picked up on that last bit. Writing that was the hardest part of the chapter, because I didn't want to oversell the significance of Barnes' use of the room, and make it campy/too melodramatic.
Date: 02/22/18 09:12 am Title: Chapter 33: Krieg
You could hardly have made it any more dramatic, could you?
Well, I am sure Josh is going to survive and hopefully the rest of the "brigade" including Natalie's "mother" get locked up for a long time.
Membership of a terrorist organisation would be the term under German law. Neo Nazis are not looked upon kindly in most parts of Germany.
Author's Response: Oo, such confidence in Josh! Germany sounds like a lovely country, too. *Hugs*
Date: 02/22/18 06:44 am Title: Chapter 33: Krieg
BOOYEA MOTHERFUCKERS!!!!! EX MILITARY FOR THE WIN!!!!! WOOOO!!!!! GET SUM!!!! Hoorah!!!
On another note my fucking heart was racing. You almost gave me a fucking heart attack 😢😢😢😢😭😭😭😭
Don't ever do that to me again please. Gonna send my ass to a grave early I'm only 26 I'm to young to die x.x
Can't wait for more. Now for josh to live please pretty please x.x don't be mean to me I hate sad endings.
Author's Response: Aw, I'm sorry. *Hugs* Glad you found it to be so exciting! :D
Date: 02/22/18 03:59 am Title: Chapter 33: Krieg
This sequence was well done. Very tense. You do scenes like this well, as also seen at the end of Hush.
Author's Response: Awesome! Glad you think so. The challenge with 'action' scenes is making sure that everything is easy to follow, because there are often event sequences that make sense as an author, but the readers would be thrown off by the pace/lack of context. It's tricky!
Date: 02/18/18 02:04 pm Title: Chapter 32: Blitz
I'm so happy you've added anther chapter! I was checking twice a day for updates.
But that said. Wow,
God i hope he's not dead, i hate unhappy endings.
Author's Response: Aw, I'm sorry. I haven't had quite as much writing time recently, but I'll try to get the next chapter out more quickly!
Date: 02/17/18 06:29 pm Title: Chapter 32: Blitz
Urghh! Where's the neighbour with his gun? Can't he shot some of these a******s! I bet those cowards would run once one of them gets hurt. Four trucks to get a small girl? They have to be shitting their pants already.
Author's Response: They're a bunch of jerks!
Date: 02/17/18 04:31 pm Title: Chapter 32: Blitz
Nice chapter as usual, Clarity! I wanna know what happens next, but I also don't want it to be over...
When they are supporting the blockade, "forced" should just be "force". When Nat breaks out of the trance, it says "Like butter in the oven, Colton began to dissolve." This simile through me off a bit. Butter would melt instead of dissolve, but for that matter why is there butter in an oven? Also, when you do a simile/metaphor, make sure you keep the article general (a or an) rather than using "the".
I think it's a cool image, but I got super distracted when I read it, so you could think about adjusting it if you want.
Keep up the great work; I'm on the edge of my seat!
Author's Response: Threw* you off a bit! Gotcha :D The simile was my attempt to add some more individual flare to Nat's narration, but I guess it didn't resonate. Thanks for the feedback!
Date: 02/17/18 06:02 am Title: Chapter 32: Blitz
Oh noooo :'(
I'm so glad for finally getting a update but noooooo >.< this can't be going down where's the old man ex military why isn't he raining hail down on them this is so sad D':
Great chapter though
Author's Response: Next chapter is going to be just as action-packed!
Date: 02/17/18 01:12 am Title: Chapter 1: Kristallnacht
YOUR SO MEAN......MEOW.....MY KITTY ARMY WILL GET YIU FOR THIS....
Okay now to the point. Good work. But how unlucky she is. Well people are going to pay. They better and now that home can't be lived in Nat and her mother now has to movie.
Author's Response: Aw, nu. Not the kitty army!
Date: 02/17/18 12:27 am Title: Chapter 32: Blitz
NO NO NO NOT HIM! That's not fair! How can they get away with this? Are the police in on it? I knew it! I FREAKING KNEW IT! The scum runs blue, why wouldn't it. And now an innocent boy is going to die... that's not fair. UGH I HOPE THEY ALL DIE IN A VOLCANO!
Author's Response: Oo a volcano! That'd be an interesting twist
Date: 02/09/18 09:44 am Title: Chapter 31: In the Headlights
This is not good... the entire armada coming for just her? you declared her "free range" you said she was "worthless." You scum, leave her alone or I hope you all die horribly you monsters! (to her parents and the "brigade" not you, I'd NEVER wish such a horrible thing on you, you're a wonderful girl miss Clarity :) )
Author's Response: hehe *hugs*
Date: 02/09/18 03:31 am Title: Chapter 31: In the Headlights
Oh jeez... Nice chapter, Clarity! You always know how to make me worry about the main character lol.
Didn't see anything this time :)
Author's Response: She definitely keeps finding herself in worrisome situations!
Date: 02/09/18 01:08 am Title: Chapter 31: In the Headlights
:o oh no :( what's about to happen?????? D: I'm scared for her now. I thought the barks were signalling that the old man was down or something x.x
Author's Response: :( going to be a tense chapter, coming up
Date: 02/03/18 10:23 am Title: Chapter 30: 1953
1953, what a coincidence, that's the year of my birth.
Another lovely chapter, Natalie is sooo cute. Your story is the only one am reading at the moment, my other favourites have either finished or petered out ... :)
Author's Response: This one won't peter out, I promise! I finish all of my stories! :D
Date: 02/01/18 09:32 am Title: Chapter 29: The Blue Door
You don't stop surprising me, Clarity. WOW!
another really powerful chapter! Hugs,
Author's Response: Yay! Thanks!
Date: 02/01/18 07:27 am Title: Chapter 29: The Blue Door
Nice chapter as usual, Clarity! Nothing this time again; leave some typos for me too >.<
Just kidding, keep up the great work!
Author's Response: Hehe sorry Lanz. I've been more diligent about those, recently! Love ya
Date: 02/01/18 05:16 am Title: Chapter 29: The Blue Door
I find the whole part with Barnes to be incredibly dull. He doesn't add much and only slows down the story. It's also quite late into the story to start developing his character. It had been better for Nate just to drop by qnd say a quick "Thanks" before moving on with the story.
Author's Response: That's fair. I probably should have introduced him earlier, but rest assured that this is the calm before the storm.
Date: 01/26/18 08:10 am Title: Chapter 27: Thrill of the Hunt
Tick tock tick tock... I'm super worried now... cultists are not necessarily known for being NICE...
Author's Response: Definitely some struggle ahead. That being said, it wouldn't be much of a story without some sort of struggle :D
Date: 01/26/18 07:55 am Title: Chapter 27: Thrill of the Hunt
“Look at you,” she giggled. “So vicious. You’re finally growing a pair.”
I just love that line. It has to be added to favourite quotes. I'd love to see one of Natalie's designs!
A hug and a kiss,
Author's Response: If I ever learned how to draw properly, I'd create one for you :D
Date: 01/26/18 07:00 am Title: Chapter 27: Thrill of the Hunt
Hey Clarity, nice chapters as usual! I got a little behind lol. When Emma offers to let Hunter stay with her for a while, it should say "staying". That's the only thing I saw in this chapter. One thing you could consider, in the previous chapter (26), is changing "Brigader" to "Brigadier". It doesn't really matter, especially since it's the name that Laura uses for them, but I thought I'd throw it out there. Keep up the great work!
Author's Response: Oh dear! Not quite sure how I messed that one up :D Thanks for the feedback! You're the best
Date: 01/26/18 06:10 am Title: Chapter 27: Thrill of the Hunt
I was wondering what happened to Hunter. Natalie better remember to warn her mom that the brigade is planning something
Author's Response: She's not the world's best communicator, but there's always a chance!
Date: 01/25/18 09:45 am Title: Chapter 26: Mission Impossible
Awwwe, she called her mom again and it was like so sweet. And the guy with the gun was a bit scary but he was just worried about Laura. I'm so glad. Though admittedly I'm worried about Hunter, he needs to get out of that brigade, it might not have poisoned his mind as much as it has Natalie's but it's clear... there is danger afoot soon...
Author's Response: oo danger afoot!!! You are correct!
Date: 01/23/18 05:16 pm Title: Chapter 26: Mission Impossible
As good as ever, sweetie! Nice development. That tat HAS to go!
Author's Response: Thanks! She's coming along :)
Date: 01/23/18 05:53 am Title: Chapter 26: Mission Impossible
Yay! More Clarity! I was so worried that something bad would happen when she was out at night by herself. Also, fun fact: even other fascists didn't like hitler. Mussolini referred to him as an idiot, and questioned his policies on race.
Author's Response: That's a very fun fact! I think that this particular nuance is lost upon many modern-day fascists.
Date: 01/23/18 05:34 am Title: Chapter 26: Mission Impossible
Loved it. 😊 But did brigade guys like Colton give up that easily? They didn't make any advances on Nat till now which seems a little unconvincing.
Author's Response: Patience, my friend. :D The pieces are all being set in place, and they'll soon go into motion.
Date: 01/23/18 01:41 am Title: Chapter 1: Kristallnacht
Lovely chapter. Natalie is learning to trust the world and to recognise the goodness of people. Given her history that’s a huge step. Well written.
Author's Response: Yup! She's been taking two steps forward, one step sideways. In my experience, that's how real personal growth happens. Glad you like the story, so far!
Date: 01/22/18 02:23 pm Title: Chapter 25: Eyes Wide Open
Amazing chapter so much clarity inthis chapter my dear clarity. Hope you are well and I love this story. She opened up quite nicely to him and glad she didn't jumped off the cliff. Hugs and thanks😘😍
Author's Response: Yay! She's moving her way along :)
Date: 01/18/18 08:55 am Title: Chapter 25: Eyes Wide Open
Wow finally! I know it's hard Natalie, but admitting it is the first step, now you have to undo YEARS of brainwashing. It wont be easy but you can do it, I believe in you!
Author's Response: One step at a time :D *hugs*
Date: 01/18/18 06:40 am Title: Chapter 25: Eyes Wide Open
I noticed something while reading last chapter again.“But you’re not a Nazi anymore, right?” Josh asked, hints of desperation in my voice. - Here 'my voice' or 'his voice'?
Author's Response: I changed perspectives, into Josh's mind! Just kidding, of course xD Nice catch! I really screwed up a lot grammatically in this chapter :(
Date: 01/17/18 12:26 pm Title: Chapter 25: Eyes Wide Open
I'm Jewish myself, and this was a very powerful chapter. Thank you.
Author's Response: Me too! I'm glad that you found this chapter to be powerful. I was worried that I would make it too melodramatic, or that the emotional mindsets would shift too quickly. Thanks for reading, and thanks for the feedback!
Date: 01/17/18 10:16 am Title: Chapter 25: Eyes Wide Open
Wow! Nicely done, Clarity!
Author's Response: Yay! Glad that you liked it! *Hugs*
Date: 01/17/18 05:51 am Title: Chapter 1: Kristallnacht
Very good story telling as usual. The growth in Nat is really touching. Small typo towards the end of the newest chapter, "I didn’t say respond, and the two of us sat in silence for a few minutes, before Josh eventually spoke." Keep up the good work!
Author's Response: Nice catch! Should be fixed, now ;) I can't tell you how helpful everyone's reviews are. Without them, I probably wouldn't write much. *Hugs*