Reviews For Mine Ch. 02
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Reviewer: ubougie Signed Report
Date: 08/22/17 06:30 pm Title: Chapter 2

Thanks. Sometimes I have to walk on eggshells when talking with authors but it is a relief that is not the case with you. As for my ideal, it is pretty illusive, a moving target. I've gotten in the habit of writing what I like, but unless it stays still for a couple of months, it doesn't get published. I happen to currently be in a more stable period, I am fleshing out a story.

I can't really say what I like about TG. First and foremost, it doesn't repel me, so that's allowed me to consider its strengths and weaknesses and become in some respects a member of the community. Moreover, I like that it is a great vehicle to accentuate femininity. When the starting point is something without any femininity and you can push it as far as you want, almost every part of what it is to be female becomes this big revelation, and allows the author to go deeply into detail about it. I'm generalizing here, but more generic erotic literature takes it for granted and can have a bit more crassness that shows that an (uncultured) man was writing the story, with descriptions like "I pulled her hair and nutted on her tits".

I think a lot more people love M2F stories, but I've really liked some F2M stories as well. Despite the direction of the transformation, you can still hit all the same notes, only what's interesting is not what is gained but what is lost (or the reverse, depending on how you choose to look at it).

I also like a story that will have a new take on things, especially after reading hundreds of versions of essentially the same thing. Your stories do that, I can see your voice very clearly in all of your stories, and it is definitely not like anything else on this site. I dislike stories that dance around sex, essentially a "perpetual tease", but rather prefer when they aren't afraid to get into the subject, with high quality descriptions, both physically and mentally.

My current narrative, though as I said it can change a lot with the passage of time is a story in three parts. Part one is sort of a reverse-male puberty that ends with a scrawny shorter body. Things are really tough for the protagonist at this point but I try not to harp too heavily on themes of despair. Part two involves coping, and finding ways to enjoy (at this point) herself, as well as some innocent not quite sexual but just kinda nice passive rubbing of the altering crotch while laying on the couch and watching tv. She rediscovers her sexuality in a way here, realizing that female sexuality is not just some inverted male sexuality, but that there's an entirely different set of parameters, like a person who sustained a big spinal injury learning how to walk again. She learns to not guide her fantasies, but let them take the path they want to take. Part three (the by far longest part) involves the confession of her friend, who's been with her for much of this, and not so long ago realized, shit, I like her now. The confession is obviously very awkward, but they do come out of it ok. Physically here, she's day-by-day rounding out into a true female shape. Mentally, she's discovered, the idea that her friend could feel that way about her is kinda cool. She tests the limits of it, flirting as a kind of teasing, not really to move anything forward, realizing how hilariously easy he is. Her body, which in an earlier phase had great fascination for her that got her off like nothing, is seeming routine at this point, and she asks herself questions like, isn't it weird that so much of attraction rides on some loose fat that grows from our chests? She also fantasizes about her body, being a heterosexual female, receiving in some vague way sex as opposed to giving it, somehow avoiding altogether the thought that a guy would likely be involved, and revels in it. The story from this point is just a very slow progression of her giving concessions to her new sexuality, not like an overnight "I like men now!", but more of a looking back and wondering, how did we even get to this point? The overall vibe between her and the friend is pretty cute, along the lines of a "friends become lovers" story, but when she is alone with herself, she is pretty insatiable, getting corrupted ever more by the fantasies always rolling through her head. At the end (which I haven't fully fleshed out yet), the two worlds collide, and her fantasies soften with the reality of love while, at the same time, her friendship becomes pretty focused on continuous sex and amazing orgasms.

One thing I've figured about what I like and what I don't, is that it is a staged process. I can't just jump in and imagine a guy who is now a girl and really enjoy that, even if I had just read a similar story the day before. I have to really carry the whole story through to collect the bits together, and build the reality of it before the pivotal part of the story. It is similar to when you come in on people watching a movie at the half way point. Even when you get to the end of the movie, you still feel pretty disconnected from it, but people who have been watching it from the beginning are fully invested.

Anyway, hopefully I answered your question. I appreciate you asking me these questions, it allows me to give it some thought, and flesh out my thoughts a bit more. It can only help my writing, and though I don't post often, I do look forward to when something I write feels like something I'd like to post and share with the community (as you've read from what I wrote above, I've currently got something in the works).

All the best.

Reviewer: Jinxd Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 08/21/17 01:41 am Title: Chapter 2

I really liked it! In particular I liked the pacing of the mental change - not too drawn out but not too fast either.

Author's Response: Thanks! I try to really work the changes (mental and physical) at a good pace since it's important to really identify with things and get into the story. One of the things I pride myself on.

Reviewer: ubougie Signed Report
Date: 08/18/17 11:33 am Title: Chapter 2

Hmmm, explaining "cartoony", that's a tough one. I admit I used the word on a whim. I guess it is just a difference in fetish and writing style. Your characters can be brash (like Layers when the protagonist meets the respondents from craigslist), and whatever the opposite of sheepish is (when your characters lose to their desires, they can become very aggressive / take charge). In this story, Derek throughout the transformation is timid in a way I like a lot, with the libido taking him in directions his thinking mind wouldn't dare.

Also, your transformations can go to extremes, but fortunately for my appreciation of your stories, you write excellent gradual descriptions that I love up until a certain threshold (that threshold being when they're fully female). But then you'll do something further, like give them 8 nipples, or turn them into an amazon, or a bimbo (beyond just "kinda dumb" but really far out there). That's where our tastes diverge, and the rest of the story, though I do read it, is no longer quite as captivating.

Honestly I regret pointing out anything wrong with your stories. Firstly, because it is all subjective. There's nothing about your writing that is objectively wrong like formatting or spelling mistakes. We just have divergent tastes in some respects, and I really believe authors shouldn't write differently than what they want to write about just to cater to their audience, because 9 times out of 10 that's when things fall apart. I can really tell though that you have a strong muse that pulls you in a specific direction and that feedback probably doesn't impact your stories much.

My original point, and what I meant to be the emphasis, was how I liked this story from start to end. The fact that I wish it continued is a good sign of that, but it might have been a great place to end it, since you hit all the main objectives of a TG transformation story. I see you mentioned you would have gone in a more extreme bimbo direction with this story, and I think in fact I would have liked it less if that was the case.

This story reminded me a bit of another story I liked, Girl Unraveled, by JacksorBetter, about a "boy" who's actually a girl but made to look like a boy, who's puberty was suppressed, but unravels (to use the word in the title) throughout the story. It isn't the story itself that is similar, but rather the elements, constructs and devices (frankly I just used three words that I barely understand in hopes that one of them captures what I'm trying to say).

One little thing you do in the story that I really liked is the static that plays in Derek's mind whenever there's some kind of clash between old ways of thinking and new ways of thinking. Excellent touch. I also like when memories of innocent words once said replay in the mind in a more naughty context to elevate the sensuality of the moment.

Listen, if you want me to sing your praises, I can go on for a long time. Every paragraph in the story has something quite great to offer. You know how to write great stories with really sexy descriptions, and so I should get a little better myself before I start handing out advice. Keep up the great work.

Author's Response: You shouldn't regret writing a criticism! I appreciate it. Although, like you've said, a lot of it is just subjective. That's something I've had to learn while writing. That I can't please everyone and I should just write what works for me at the moment because there will be some people out there that really like it. Or that like bits and pieces. I'll see if I can check out the story you've mentioned but I'm sad to say I don't make time to read TF or TG stories as much as I should. Already hard enough to find time to write. I very much appreciate that you went above and beyond to explain what you meant but I hope you didn't take my question as any kind of attack. I've kinda sorta learned to grow a thicker skin regarding comments and reviews. I'm just glad some parts of the story work for you. Curiously, what kind of TG story is your ideal?

Reviewer: ubougie Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 08/16/17 07:30 pm Title: Chapter 2

Hey! Always glad to see a story by you on this site, I know I will thoroughly enjoy it. I usually drop off at a certain point because you can go a bit cartoony with how extreme you'll push things, but this story simmered all the way to the end, so I can say, for me, one of my all time favorite stories. I can learn a lot from you. Thanks, and I look forward to more stuff by you!

Author's Response: I think "cartoony" is a new one for me. Can you explain that one a little, please?

Reviewer: Amanda R Signed starstarstarstar Report
Date: 08/11/17 12:24 pm Title: Chapter 2

A pretty good story and I absolutely love the detail you put into the transformations. That's always the best part of any story from you the unrelenting detail you put in there. It always makes for a fun read from that line. That said I do wish this wasn't so much a bimbo story. Would've been neat if instead you had a dorkier shyer girl at the end for Denise. Someone who would've had a bit more of the same hobbies but been smarter and a lot more nervous at the end. Think that would've felt a bit more like both of their ideal girls instead of what we had.

Still, really an enjoyable story and I do think i'll come back to this a few times. Thanks a lot for sharing it.

Author's Response: It's actually not quite as much a bimbo story as it was planned to be. And, in the end, he's not quite as intelligent but he shook off a large chunk of the ditziness. Will still probably struggle here and there but I moved it from that to just being more, uhh, simple rather than bimbo. In my original thoughts, it was absolutely going to be a bimbo story but, eh. I liked him still being himself and aware of what he was doing - intentionally going for Steven of his own accord. Well, kinda. I'm sorry that didn't come out as strongly in the story but that was what I went with ultimately. Thank you very, very much to comment and give your thoughts!

Reviewer: Artemesia Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 08/10/17 09:59 pm Title: Chapter 2

Your transformation descriptions are some of the best there is. I loved the inner monolog and desires. Bravo!

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the compliment - that's really high praise and I appreciate it. A large part of the fun in writing TG and TF erotica is the struggle of the character.

Reviewer: Denali Signed Report
Date: 08/10/17 05:48 pm Title: Chapter 2

The story is great and I hope you continue it, but you appear to have misunderstood how to post new chapters to existing stories. From 'Account Management', you can click 'Manage Stories', then 'Add New Chapter' and add an update to your tale without making an entirely different entry. This helps people navigate your writing and keeps everything in one place. Hope this helps!

Author's Response: I probably won't continue it but I'm very glad you enjoyed it! And man, I have no idea why I struggle posting here but I just can't seem to get the process right. Thanks for the heads-up and I'll try that the next time!

Reviewer: Lilchelly Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 08/10/17 04:46 pm Title: Chapter 2

Is this it? No confrontation with the hypnotist? No explanation of where this new girl is going to go, I mean she has no documentation, she doesn't exist. How is she going to navigate this world without being deported or worse? Yeah she's dating Steven but is she just going to live with him now? It feels like there's so much more we're missing but if you want to end it here, you're the writer so its your choice.

Author's Response: I originally had notes to have Derek go to get a fake ID before he met up with Steven but scraped it. I could absolutely write a story that shows how a TG character tries to fit back into the world realistically but that's not this story. I think the tone would be a lot more different and district from what it is.

Reviewer: Madway Signed Report
Date: 08/10/17 03:12 pm Title: Chapter 2

Was this double posted? I see 2 of it in recent and 2 on your profile.

Author's Response: Sorry, there's two parts to it. I just updated the names to add ch. 01 and ch. 02. I always get confused when I post stuff here with how stories and series and such work. I tried to upload as 1 document but I hit the maximum character limit. Thanks for letting me know!

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